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Part 47 – Freaking Out

The last couple of days of Book Week went by without any added drama.  Thankfully, not one of my interviewers bothered asking me about the former Mrs. Richardson, and everything went smoothly.   Before we knew it, we were saying our goodbyes to AJ and were on a plane headed home.

I was so incredibly happy to be back in my own house, my own bed, and having my sweet Vinnie around again.  Not to mention having the sexy man who was soon going to be an official permanent fixture in my home around.  Technically Kevin had a few more weeks of condo-sitting to do for Roland.  But since Roland didn’t have plants or pets and Kevin slept at my house every night anyway, he pretty much ended his gig early and let Christian and Josef check Roland’s mail for him.

After all of the chaos of Book Week we did a whole lot of nothing once we were back home.  Well, a whole lot of sex, and a whole lot of nothing.  I had a book to work on and would occasionally break away from Kevin to bust out some words, but since I wasn’t yet on a deadline for it, I found myself putting it off more often than not.  Instead, we would take walks with Vinnie, sit and watch the ocean, or hang out in bed all day.  It was blissful.

“I scheduled the movers to deliver my stuff next weekend…” Kevin told me as he ran his fingers through my hair one afternoon as we hung out on my deck.  He’d surprised me after we’d returned from New York by buying me a copycat version of Josef’s rooftop bed.  It was the perfect addition to the deck off of the back of my house and we spent a whole lot of time laying around on it. 

I smiled with my eyes closed, “Very cool…”

“You sure you want me to live with you?  I can be a hopeless slob.”

“So can I,” I laughed and opened my eyes to look at him.  “And yes, I’m sure.  I can’t wait.  I’m not even freaking out about it, which is strange since I’ve only ever lived with Christian, Sean, and my Mom plus a few roommates in the dorms at school.”

He smiled, “Not freaking out is a really good sign.”

“I think so…” I said.  “Of course, maybe I’ll have a panic attack about trying to fit your clothes in the closet.”

He laughed, “I do have a lot of clothes… I’m just brining the essentials though.  I’m going to keep all of the extra suits, tuxes and stuff I don’t need every day in the storage I have at my mom’s.  When I had her house built I specifically made sure there was a very large storage area for me to use since I was always on the road and in between homes.”

“Speaking of room, I was thinking… the spare bedroom with the twin beds can be yours if you want.  We can move the beds out if and you can set it up as an office or whatever.  And the closet in that room can serve as overflow if need be.”

“I don’t need an office, we can keep it as a second spare bedroom.  I might take you up on the closet though.  But I do have a favorite chair I want to add to the living room.”

“Please tell me it’s not shaped like a baseball glove or something tacky…” I giggled.

“Nah… it’s a normal chair.  I actually think it’s going to go really well with your furniture.  It’s my Deep Thinking chair,” he said and smiled.  “It’s the only furniture I kept from the house in LA.  Everything else I sold.”

“Ooh a thinking chair to go with your Deep Thought look… I love it!” I laughed.  “So if I see you in the chair with the look on your face, that’s my clue to just stay away?”

Kevin laughed, “Not necessarily…”

“Is this chair big enough to hold both of us?” I asked and wiggled my eyebrows.

He laughed, “Only if you’re in my lap.”

“Mmm… sounds kinky.”

“You’re just letting me move in so you can have your way with me…”

“What can I say? I like this whole groupie thing… Sex on demand is awesome!”

“You’re nuts…” he laughed.

I giggled and turned over so I could straddle him.  “Know what else?” I asked as I traced my fingers over his chest slowly with a grin.

“What?” he replied as he slid his hands up my thighs and rested them on my hips.

“You’re about to live with my nuttiness 24/7.  You’ll never get away!”  I did my best evil laugh and then cracked up at myself.

“That’s okay…” he said and smiled. “I don’t want to get away.”

“Uh huh… you say that now.  But in a few weeks when you’ve been with me non stop and have witnessed random mood swings you’ll change your mind.”

He shook his head, “Not gunna happen.”

“What if I start talking about marriage all of a sudden and bring home a bunch of wedding magazines?” I asked with a smirk. 

He shrugged, “I’d deal with it…”

“By running away with your tail between your legs?”

He laughed and sat up, wrapping his arms around me, “I’m not going anywhere.  Got it?”

I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair, “Promise?”

I kissed him before he could answer and when we finally broke apart he spoke against my lips, “With all my heart.”

I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against his, “I love you…  I’m really not trying to give you reasons to leave.  I guess I am freaking out a little bit and I’m covering it by being obnoxious as usual.”

He held my face in his hands so I’d look at him, “I know exactly what you’re doing.  It’s okay.  But I mean what I’ve said. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.  Right here is exactly where I want to be.   Know why?”  I shook my head as I stared into those gorgeous eyes of his.  “Because I love you just as much as you love me.  Maybe even a little more.”

“You’re not supposed to say things that make me cry…” I sighed and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. 

He hugged me tight against his chest, “Too bad… Sometimes I have to say the good stuff.”

I laughed and turned my head so I could place a kiss on his neck, “Okay.”

“I promise, it’s not going to be this huge change… I’m here all of the time anyway, right?” he asked while his hands rubbed up and down my back. 

“Yeah.”

“So I’ll still be here except instead of my clothes being in a bag on the floor, they’ll be in the closet and I won’t have to check the mail at Roland’s.”

“True.”

“And when you need a bug killed or something from the top shelf, all you’ll have to do is ask and I’ll be able to do it.”  I couldn’t help but laugh.  The night before there had been an unusually ugly bug in the house that even I couldn’t work up the nerve to kill on my own.  He’d killed it for me and then laughed while doing an imitation of my heebie geebie dance. 

I pulled back from the hug and rested my hands against his chest, “I think I’m better now.”

“Good.”

“No more freaking out.”

“Very good.”

“Until there’s a hurricane alert… then all deals are off.  I officially freak the fuck out when there’s a hurricane or tropical storm in the vicinity.”

He laughed, “Good to know…”

“The National Hurricane Center website is bookmarked on my desktop.  Once I figure out how to put it on our snazzy new iPhones, I’m doing that too.  You should have seen me last time running around trying to get the storm shields over the windows while I was panicking and the storm was still hours away.”

“I’ll do it for you the next time there’s a storm. Promise.”

I smiled and shook my head, “How are you always so damn calm?”

“Years and years of practice… I toured around the world with four very hyper guys.  I had to learn to let things flow because otherwise I’d lose it.”

“But you do in fact lose it sometimes?”

He nodded, “Yeah… But it’s rare.”

“Just as long as you do have the ability to freak out… that’s all I care about.”

The phone rang and I groaned because I’d left it sitting inside the house on the dining room table and it meant I was going to have to get up and out of my uber cozy spot with Kevin.  He chuckled at my groan and gave me a gentle push, “I got it yesterday, today’s your turn…”

“Yeah, yeah…” I said over my shoulder as I walked into the house.  I got to the phone just before the voice mail kicked in, “Hello?”

“Kellie, it’s Gena from The Adoption Foundation.”

“Oh hey, how are you?” I asked as I walked back out onto the deck.  I sat down next to Kevin on the bed.

“I’m doing pretty well… The reason I’m calling is because I have an interesting case that just came across my desk and I immediately thought of you.”

“Really? But I thought I was still number two on the list.”  Kevin’s interest perked up when he heard me mention the list.

“Well you are, but this is a little different.  Instead of us hooking you up with a birth mother and then waiting for the child to be born, we actually have a child who needs placement.”

I felt like my heart was suddenly in my throat but somehow I managed to speak, “As in, the child was already born?”

Kevin grabbed my hand and held it in his as I listened, “Yes… the child is a little over two months old.  What happened was that there…”

“Wait…” I said and interrupted Gena.  “I need to put you on speaker, my boyfriend needs to hear this with me.”

“Oh certainly…” Gena said and waited.

I pushed the speaker button on the phone, “Okay… We’re both here now.  Kevin, Gena… Gena, Kevin…”

Gena introduced herself to Kevin and then resumed her explanation, “As I was saying, this child is a little over two months old.  It’s quite a sad story actually, the day that the birth parents were taking the child home from the hospital, they were all in a car accident.  Both parents died but the baby was okay.”

“Oh man…” I said quietly and looked at Kevin.  Our hands were still locked together.

“The parents didn’t have any other family so there was no one to send the baby to.  The baby was finally determined to be a ward of the state and is now available for adoption.  Normally we don’t work with cases like this but because the child doesn’t have any known family we took it on because there’s no chance of anyone popping up to try and claim the baby.  Now, you are still second on the waiting list, but the couple who is at the top of the list decided that they want to stick with the birth mother that they’ve been hooked up with who is due to give birth in a few weeks.”

“So how does this work then?”

“Basically the first step would be for you to tell me if you’re interested.  If you are, then we’ll set up a time for you to meet the baby and see what you think.  You could potentially do a few different visits to see if you feel like it’s a good fit or not.  Because you’re licensed for foster care we could even do a temporary placement of the baby with you as a trial run.  Or, if you meet the baby and decide that you’re ready… we can get the ball rolling.”

“Wow…”

Gena chuckled, “It’s a lot to take in, I know… and I don’t by any means want to rush you.  We can go as fast or slow as you want.  You don’t even have to tell me if you’re interested today.”

I looked at Kevin through tears that suddenly were welling up in my eyes.  He smiled and gave me a nod, “Oh we’re definitely interested… Just shocked, but very interested.” 

“So you do want to meet the baby?”

“Oh gosh yes…” I said and laughed as my tears spilled down my cheeks.  “Totally. When can we do it?”

“Well, I can call the foster care parent right now and see when she’s available.  Is there a time that works best for you this week?”

“Anytime… I don’t have anything going on right now.”

“Awesome, I’ll give her a call and see what I can set up.  Then I’ll call you back, okay?”

“That’s perfect.  We’ll be here.”

“Great!  I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

We said our goodbyes and I pushed the end button on the phone.  We sat there in stunned silence still holding hands.  My mind was spinning and I felt like I wanted to laugh, cry and maybe even scream all at once.  I had no idea what to do with all of the emotions running through my body.  Finally, I looked at Kevin and he looked at me.  I smiled, “So… I think this warrants freaking out, right?”

He laughed and nodded, “Yes, yes it does.”