31

“What’s up with you this morning? You seem, different.” I watched Emma as she paced around outside of my bus as we were waiting to set off on the next road trip.

“What do you mean? I’m not different, I’m still the same.”

“Sure you are…” I laughed and took a drag of my own cigarette. “You’re like… awake or something. Super alert. And you’re pacing…”

She rolled her eyes at me but kept pacing, “I’m not pacing…” I chuckled and started following her until she looked at me, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Pacing with you…”

She pushed me before laughing and plopping herself on the ground. “Sit with me…”

I pointed to my bus, “I have a really expensive bus over there and you’re asking me to sit on the ground? It’s a parking lot Em…”

“Sit!”

“Yes, ma’am…” I chuckled and sat down next to her. Marcus meanwhile chuckled and kept his watch for fans. “So…”

“I spent the night with Nick…” she sighed and looked at me.

I chuckled and nodded, “And is this good or bad?”

“Both.”

“He’s gunna be here in a few minutes and then we’re stuck on the bus together for hours… you better start talking.”

She finished her cigarette and I lit another one for her with a smile. “Thanks…” She took a minute and then started talking. “We had fun. Lots. But… I mean, I’m not looking for a relationship or anything… And I don’t know if he is, but I kind of get the impression that… Well, like he can screw random chicks as long as he doesn’t know them… but once he knows a girl she can’t just be a fuck.”

“And he knows you…” I said with a nod.

“Yeah…” she said with a sigh. “He’s nice…”

“Yup… he is…”

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Who says you’re going to hurt him, though?” I asked.

“History…”

“Cryptic answer…” I chuckled and she smiled at me.

“For all the same reasons I didn’t want to be your friend at first. I… I let you in, and it’s been good, but it still goes against everything that I know. I can’t let him in too.”

“Maybe you need to reconsider the rules you have set up for yourself. Maybe they worked for a while, but now they need to be updated a bit.”

She shook her head and looked at the parking lot we were sitting on. “I can’t…” She looked at me, “I changed the rules for you and I’m glad I did. But I can’t do it again. That’s way too much for me. And I know you don’t understand why I have these rules, but I just can’t break them anymore. I’ve been breaking them too much lately and before long it’s going to backfire on me. I can feel it.”

I watched her green eyes as she looked at me and I wondered, yet again, just what had hurt her so badly in her past. “So… what’re you going to do about Nick then?”

“I have no idea.”

I smiled and wrapped my arm around her shoulder pulling her into a partial hug, “We’ll figure it out together okay?”

She surprised me and wrapped her arm around my waist and hugged me back with a chuckle. “If you start singing That’s What Friends Are For, I’m going to vomit.”