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TOKYO, JAPAN -- APRIL 13
Noon
Brian

I couldn't see through any of the windows. The stupid things were so dirty, and some in the back had been painted over black. I wandered back toward the front, and wondered what Nick was doing. I pressed my ear against the wall beside the door, hoping to hear him talking in that stupid accident or something, but I heard nothing. I sighed and slid to my ass on the street and decided to wait there for Nick.

Suddenly the door opened. The dude that had taken Nick into the building stepped out into the street and was about to take a pee when he realized I was there. He stuffed himself back into his pants and eyeballed me. "Who you?" he demanded.

I sat there dumbfounded a moment. What the hellhad been the name Nick had said again? I tried to remember. "W-W-wwwwww--- Walter!" I guessed. I knew it started with a W, at least.

The guy squinted at me. He was evidently trying to remember what name Nick had said, too. "You belong to Texas man?" he asked. "He busy."

Busy?

"He... he asked me.. to... to meet him here," I stammered.

"He not want to meet you right now," snapped the guy, and he turned around and started to walk away to pee a little further down the street.

I remembered Nick pulling out the wad of cash. I reached into my wallet and pulled out a hundred dollar bill. "I- I have cash," I called.

He stopped and turned around and squinted at me.

"Okay, I show you. He picked purple couch."

Purple couch? What a weird name for a robot. I imagined Rock'em Sock'em meets Rocky meets Wall-E meets... You get the idea.

The guy led me into the room and I almost gagged. It smelled worse in there than Nick's bus did in 105 degree heat with 80% humidity. It was rank. "Nice - er - place you - uh - got here," I mumbled, trying to be polite.

"No talk," snapped the dude. He stopped at a door. "This door two," he said, "Purple couch in there. Money?"

I handed him the money.

He opened the door.

A very naked lady was doing a handstand over a purple couch, where Nick was reclined quite happily, and she was doing something I'd really rather have never witnessed.

"That cost more," the guy growled.

Nick looked up and his eyes widened.


**********


I felt like a kid who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  For a moment Brian's stunned face was blocked from view as the girl's legs scissored open and closed.  My heart fell to my stomach.

He was going to freak out.

He was going to blow it.

He was going to fall to the floor and scream like a little girl. I was pretty sure he hadn't seen a woman's naked body except for Leighanne's for the past fourteen years. He probably had forgotten what they looked like.

Just as I was thinking the worst, sure enough, his knees began to buckle. He was going to hit the floor and beg forgiveness for seeing the limber lady who was a smooth as a slip-n-slide.  He was going to get us killed.

"D-double 'ya," I said, pronouncing "W" in the only Texas-like way I knew how, which in hindsight probably wasn't so Texan. I couldn't exact remember what "W" name I had thrown out before. "If you pay the man a little extra, you could check out another couch for me."

I hoped he would take the hint. Yes, I was enjoying the show.  But I also knew that we needed to look for AJ.  If he would only take the hint, I'd sneak out, knowing mafia dude was busy with him, and start opening doors like crazy.  It was a large warehouse. I needed to work my master ninja skills.  I wasn't sure, but I had a feeling I had paid for at least another hour for the room I was in. An hour would give me time. It would--

"What goin' on?" the dude demanded.  I could tell his suspicions were heightened.

Bri's knees shook again.  I put a hand on the naked girl's thigh. Her thin, lithe body, flipped over. She was a gorgeous Asian girl with her hair streaked in blonde. She took the hint and headed for the pole.  I settled back in the couch. I might not have been the best actor in Hollywood either, but I wasn't going to bust us so soon.

"Aw hell," I said impatiently. I withdrew another wad of money. "I was waiting for Double-ya to get here so I could surprise him, but my dumb friend here is making it difficult.  It's his birthday. Show him to another room."

I wasn't sure where all the other mafia members were, but this guy didn't seem to care how badly we were pulling this off as long as we waved green American bills in front of his face. He crossed the room, eyes the pole girl's ass for a second, and took the bundle. Bri crossed himself quickly before the guy turned around.

"What you want? American Red or African Yellow?"

Now that I was clear that robot fights was slang for stripper-prostitutes, I was prepared to answer the guy's question for my buddy.  I had chosen Asian purple, and sure enough, I had a purple couch and an Asian girl.  I smiled.

"See my buddy' s hair color?  He's All-American.  Give him an Apple Pie girl and a red Couch my good man."

The dude smiled. His teeth were tiny and slightly pointed. I wondered for a breath second if the mafia members weren't cross-bred with werewolves.

"Ah, you like her. She's new and scared just like you are pussy-cat man."

I couldn't help it; I laughed.  I was tempted to pay the guy extra just to hear Bri called "pussy-cat man" again.

"Wait--" Bri said, his voice cracking.  I waved my hand.

"Have fun, man," I said, putting an emphasis on 'fun.'  "Take your time! I'll be scoping out these sights."

The dude pointed down the hall. I could see Bri visibly gulp. He walked like a guy heading to death row rather than someone who was going to get some boobs smashed in his face.

"Maybe I should have picked D," I muttered as the door closed.