The number of people who came for Kate’s funeral was overwhelming. It proved how special Kate was, and she was loved by everyone. She touched so many lives in her own little ways in the short span of her life. On my right were Kate’s mother and her younger sister, behind them were relatives, friends, neighbours, and Kate’s co-workers. On my left was my Backstreet Family whose presence and support were more than enough for me. Apparently, my own family were too busy to pay their last respect to Kate. I was damn sure that they liked Kate, if not loved, at one point.
My father couldn’t get a flight here to Los Angeles and called me earlier to say he would be thinking of me. My mother didn’t even bother to tell me her reasons, if there was any. My sisters, except for Leslie, had prior commitments they couldn’t cancel. My little brother was too busy recording his new album that he couldn’t take even an hour break to be here. Leslie would have been here, her plane would have touched down last night, but I told her I’d be fine. She just gave birth to my beautiful niece Alyssa, and I didn’t want to put her in a stressful situation.
I looked at my Backstreet Family for support; I didn’t know giving my last words for Kate was this hard. Kevin and his wife Kristin flew from Kentucky to be here with me. Kevin didn’t have to say anything; he just looked me in the eye and pulled me into hug, and I know what he meant. Kristin, the older sister I’ve always wanted but never had, kissed me in the cheek and whispered how much she loved me and Kate.
Howie, who had been in the same situation when his sister and father died, offered comforting words to me and promised he would always be with me on this difficult time. Kate absolutely adored Leigh because of her strong and sweet personality, and I was grateful for her presence.
AJ never left my side since Kate’s accident, he hasn’t said anything but I could see in his eyes that he was hurting for me and he was saddened by Kate’s death. Rochelle came in a simple black dress, her hair nicely tied up and wearing no make-up. I loved her more for not sporting any crazy outfit and respecting Kate’s funeral. Her eyes were already swollen from crying, she just lost a great friend and one of her bridesmaid.
My best friend Brian was with me every step of the way. He became the strong wall that I could lean on anytime. I had never been this weak in my entire life. Leighanne was crying non-stop, too. Kate became one of her good friends. If there was anyone who bridged the gap between Leighanne and me, it was Kate.
Fans were also mourning for Kate; she was well loved by them. Kate was the first girlfriend of mine that every Backstreet Boys fans accepted wholeheartedly. No hate site was created for her, there was no name bashing in the internet; well, some might have called her names but with every one fan throwing a bad comment about her, thousand fans were ready to defend her.
I swallowed the big lump that begun to form in my throat.
“I had so many failed relationships before I met Kate, and I always thought I was in love. But I realized I was wrong when I finally met Kate. She showed me what true love means, she taught me how to love unconditionally, and she made me feel how to be truly loved. She was the love of my life, my one true love. She was the perfect fan and the grace of my life. She was my world and my everything. I love you, baby; Always have and always will. Please wait for me sweetheart, we’ll see each other soon.”
Mrs. Harris, Kate’s mother, walked up to me and hugged me tightly. We cried together as we watched Kate’s casket being lowered into the ground. I tossed a peach rose, Kate’s favorite flower, into the ground.
“I love you.” I’d never get tired of telling her that.
The ceremony was over and it was time for us to go, but the idea of leaving Kate was unbearable. I put on my sunglasses, slid my hands into my pocket, and wore a Do-not-disturb-me kind of look in my face. I wanted everyone to be gone before I go home. I didn’t feel like talking to anybody; I’ve had enough of the ‘I’m so sorry for your loss’ bullshit. No one would ever understand how I feel unless they had lost the person they loved the most.
“Nick,” Kate’s mom took a deep breath before she spoke again “I know people grieve differently , but if ever you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. I will be strong for you, son.”
My heart seemed to burst with overwhelming emotions; that was a very sweet message. I looked at the woman who would have been my mother-in-law in two months time, and couldn’t help but wonder how the hell she cared for me more than my real mother. Wasn’t it my mother’s job to make sure I was doing ok?
“Thank you, Ana,” I sincerely answered “You know I’d do the same for you. I love you.”
She hugged me “I will always be a mother to you, Nickolas. I love you, too.”
She let go of me and joined Kyla, Kate’s younger sister, who gave me a sincere smile. She guided her mother into the car. With a heavy heart I gave one last look at Kate’s grave, whispered how much I loved her, and walked away with a promise that I’d be back soon.
I wasn’t surprised to see Leila sitting on the passenger seat of my car. She, together with other souls, attended Kate’s funeral. They kept their distance to me, though, and I appreciated it big time. I was relieved to know that no one would bother me until Leila’s case was finished. Not all the souls wanted my help; some of them wanted to stay here on earth forever and ran away from the light that would take them to heaven.
“Why can’t she stay here for a while like you? Why did she have to go so soon?”
“What are you talking about?”
“She could have stayed, Leila, and helped me move on. Just what Chelsey did, she didn’t go until she was sure her husband would be fine without her.” I was referring to one of the souls I helped.
“Do you hear yourself, Nick? You’d rather want her to be here so you could see her and talk to her than be happy in heaven?” There was a hint of anger and disappointment in Leila’s voice.
“She’d have a second chance with the light.” I sighed
Based on my experience, people who did not cross over the first time they saw the light would have a second chance. If they missed the two chances, they would most likely be earth bound spirits forever.
“When? Ten years or twenty years from now? You have no idea how much we are suffering here on earth. You really think we are enjoying our stay here, don’t you?”
“Isn’t that the reason why some of you chose to stay?” I answered nonchalantly
“Those people doesn’t even represent five percent of our population.” Leila studied me for a second, and continued talking when I didn’t respond “You are one selfish bastard! You should be happy that she saw the light the moment she died. She didn’t have to suffer like me.”
Leila disappeared the moment she was done talking. One thing I hate about these freaking ghosts, they had the ability to disappear just like that. They could decide whether they wanted you to see them or not. Leila could still be around here but I didn’t have a damn clue. I hit the steering wheel to release my frustration.
I almost jumped out of the car when I heard the loud knocks on the window. I saw Brian standing outside, and he motioned if he could get inside and talk to me. I nodded.
“What’s up, Nick? You look pretty frustrated.”
“A ghost just walked out on me.” I answered without thinking. Brian was horrified while he threw uneasy glances on the car’s door and to the spot where he stood outside. I smiled. “Not really walked out on me, she just disappeared. You’re safe, she didn’t walk through you.”
Brian let out a soft chuckle “Nick, I’d like to spend a couple of days on your house. Hope it’s ok.” Brian looked at me expectantly.
“What about Leighanne and Baylee? I’d be fine Brian, I am not suicidal.” That was meant to be a joke, but I could barely smile.
“They’ll be staying at the condo, we’d fly home next weekend. I just thought you might want someone to talk to, you know. And if it will make you any better we could talk about the ghosts stuff, about Leila, your very first mission and every mission after that.”
“Do you believe in me now?”
Brian took a deep breath and sighed heavily “I might once we’re done talking about it.”
I nodded, and weighed the advantages and disadvantages of telling Brian everything. But before
I could make any decision, my mind started to bring back all the memories. I could clearly see in my head where it all started, it was the 29th of January in 2005......................
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hope you would still love this one....
Chapter End Notes:
Thank you for reading! :)
