2/15/2001

"I love your smile" she told me. "Your lips, how you do workouts, and those hypnotic eyes." She told me. "I love how sweet you are." She told me. "But the problem is, you pretend it's always my fault, no matter what it is. Business or anything else, I love you, but it's like your "gone". I keep praying you come back to me." She told me.

She was still very young, but it wasn't the time. But I guess she was right.

I looked in the mirror and I began to cry. Then my motorcycle hit a bump and threw me over. I turned it off, and I was fine, but it was broken now. I would have to call a cab or walk to see her now.

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L.A. BSB in 2001

"AJ, you have to get a grip and stop singleing out fans over money and stupid shit." I told him. "Like you did, making sure that stayed in Kevin's contract so he has to go in 5 YEARS!" AJ fought back with me. Kevin began to cry a little, he would miss the crowd, but he wasn't as proud of us as he wished he was.

I turned on the movie, "Josie and the Pussycats" after our fight. "What the fuck is wrong with these people?!" I asked myself.

Then I dreamed about her, on clouds in a lime green bikini, dancing, and doing sex moves to turn me on in the sand, grooving to me or my favorite rock bands. The dream itself made my happy as a clam.