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Author's Chapter Notes:

I'm pretty proud of this chapter so let me know what you think! Please?

About a minute later, there were several gentle raps on the hotel room door. I sighed and sauntered over to it slowly, stretching and yawning along the way. “Did you forget your--oh.” It wasn’t Amelia at the door. I stood frozen with my hand on the doorknob and gulped. “What do you want?” I asked shortly.

Kevin was propping himself up with one hand against the door frame and eyeing me cautiously, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He smiled sympathetically and gazed at me for several moments before speaking. “How are you?” he asked gently.

I slumped my shoulders tiredly. “Exhausted.”

He nodded knowingly. “By the time I found out, you were already on the way to the airport. I should have called.” He kept staring at me with this overt concern on his face and I could feel the waterworks coming on again.

“No, it’s okay,” I stammered. I could feel myself breaking down again and I was powerless to stop it. “I-I’m sorry,” I whimpered, burying my face in my hands and crying for what felt like the thousandth time in the past three days.

Kevin stepped across the threshold and pulled me into his arms, letting the door shut behind him. “Shh, Emmy. I didn’t mean to make you-”

I pushed him away furiously. “Don’t call me that!” I shouted, backing away from him.

He furrowed his brows and held up his hands in defense. “I’m sorry, I...what?” he asked, clearly confused, as he cocked his head to the side.

“Emmy! Danny always called me ‘Emmy’!” I wailed, dropping to my knees and sobbing.

“Oh, Em. I’m sorry.” He took two long strides and sank down onto the floor in front of me. I stared down at the carpet, my vision blurred with tears and my shoulders shaking violently.

“Emily, look at me.” He placed his index finger under my chin and tilted my head up so that our eyes met. “I’m sorry,” he said earnestly.

I nodded weakly. “I don’t really know how I’m supposed to just keep going on with my life,” I admitted shakily, wiping the tears from my cheeks with my fingertips then clasping my hands together and placing them in my lap.

“It gets easier,” he said solemnly as he covered my hands with his. “It always hurts, but as time goes by, it gets easier.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What would you know about it?” I asked, peering at him dubiously.

He sighed. “My dad died.” Then he paused. “Six years ago.”

“Oh.” I bit my bottom lip. “Sorry. I- I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay. I don’t talk about it much.” He shrugged and looked down at our hands that were still clasped together in my lap. His shoulders were slumped over and for the first time since I’d met him, he looked small.

“Kevin?” I scooted a little closer to him so that our knees were touching and pulled one of my hands from his grasp and placed it on his shoulder. “You okay?”

He jumped a little and pressed his palms to his eyes, sniffling. “Of course. I”m fine,” he insisted with a fake smile. Yet, his eyes were rimmed with red.

“No you’re not. You’re not fine, I’m not fine, we’re not fine.” The tears started coursing down my cheeks again and he sighed, scooting over and sitting down beside me. I leaned my head on his shoulder and sobbed.

“This kind of opened up some old wounds for me,” he admitted solemnly as he locked a strong arm around me and rubbed my shoulder with his hand. “I couldn’t get my mind off of you the entire time you were gone.”

I pulled away and eyed him suspiciously. “Really?”

“Yes, of course.” He sighed and rubbed his hands up and down my arms. “I care a lot about you, and to think you’ve been hurting so badly....”

“What about Kristin?” I blurted, guessing now was as good a time as any to talk about her.

He knit his brows together in confusion. “What about her? This isn’t about Kristin,” he said pointedly. “It’s about you....and Danny. He obviously meant a lot to you.”

“Yeah.....” I trailed off and looked away from him with my hand over my mouth. I tightly squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears that were welling up again. I was so tired of crying. “I just....I don’t understand why God would bring him back into my life to just snatch him away again, and this time forever,” I stammered.

“Oh Em. It’s so easy to blame God for this stuff, but...”

“I thought I was going to marry him,” I interrupted. Kevin nodded. “I mean, he’s the only guy who I can ever imagine truly loving me for me, who loved everything about me despite all my faults and failures.”

He cocked his head to the side and placed a hand upon my cheek, brushing away a tear with his thumb. “You don’t think very highly of yourself, do you?

My face crumpled. “I guess not,” I whispered, avoiding his stare.

“You’re still young. I know God has a man in mind for you, who’s going to make you believe all the things you don’t believe about yourself. Maybe Danny’s a step on the path to finding him. Give it some time.” He placed another hand on my cheek so that he held my face in his hands, then pressed his lips to my forehead. I took in a deep breath and let it out, then closed my eyes and cried harder. He kept holding on to my cheeks as my tears rolled across his fingers, then he leaned his forehead against mine, shushing me quietly. I soon felt the soft scratch of his goatee on my skin, and he was kissing my cheeks over and over, moving from one side of my face to the other with feather-light touches of his lips, tasting the salt of my tears. I opened my eyes in shock and stared into deep green for only a second before leaning forward and crashing my lips onto his.

He groaned quietly as my fingers found their way into the soft spikes of his short hair, then granted my tongue access to his mouth. His hands brushed past my ears and his fingers entangled themselves in my curls. His tongue pressed against mine and he nibbled lightly on my bottom lip, eliciting a guttural moan from the back of my throat. My mind and body were in overdrive and the tears continued to fall. Kevin’s hands snaked their way down to the hem of my shirt and gently kneaded my tense lower back as my hands rested lightly on his hard chest. I blinked and could feel our wet lashes brushing up against each other in a sensual “butterfly kiss.”

The kisses came harder and with more intensity as he splayed his hands out on by back and pulled me into his lap. I straddled him shakily and his hands massaged my wobbly thighs as we ground against each other. I gasped as I pulled away from him and bit my swollen bottom lip. I knew where this was going and for the first time in my life felt totally ready to go there. I smirked at Kevin and my hands went to the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head. He furrowed his brows and pursed his lips together before leaning up and dropping his lips lightly on the tip of my nose. I climbed off of him and grabbed both of his hands with mine, pulling us up to stand. “Em...” he whispered.

“Shh.” I placed a finger over his lips and turned towards the bed. His eyes followed me warily as I sank onto the bed and unclasped my bra, pulling it off and letting it drop on the comforter beside me.

He stood still like a deer frozen in headlights. “Emily, no. Not like this,” he whimpered, walking gingerly towards the bed. “Put your shirt back on.” He stooped down and picked it up then held it out to me.

I didn’t accept the shirt. “Kevin, please,” I begged, scooting backwards towards the pillows. I started to unbutton my jeans but his hands suddenly gripped my wrists hard.

“I can’t do this with you right now,” he said through clenched teeth.

I felt the familiar stinging in my eyes and looked up at him. He was kneeling on the bed with his hands still wrapped around my wrists and his body hovering over mine. “Kevin, please. I....I love you,” I breathed as I leaned up to kiss his jawline. He flinched and pulled away.

“Em, no. I can’t,” he pressed on. “You’re hurting and you’re too young for me to take advantage of this.” He dropped my wrists and put his hands on my cheeks, staring purposefully into my eyes. “I’m sorry.” When he backed off the bed and turned to walk out of the room, I knew that my non-relationship with Kevin Richardson was over.