We spent the rest of the morning eating breakfast, talking, and laughing. He told me about the music video they’d just finished shooting, and I told him funny stories about life on the road with the Backstreet Boys, being sure to leave out anything that happened in Vegas. We talked about Johnny’s ludicrous theory that our relationship could be good for our careers, and he convinced me to go shopping at The Grove with him that afternoon. Honestly, it felt pretty great that we could eat our frozen yogurt together on a park bench and have our picture taken by the paparazzi, who were hoping to get a glimpse of everyone in town for the awards show, without anyone really caring. We ate a “fancy” dinner, consisting of pizza from one of Joey’s favorite pizzerias in town and Diet Coke, back out on the balcony of Joey’s hotel room.

After we’d left the glass-topped table covered in sauce-stained napkins and a greasy, empty pizza box, Joey stood up and held his hand out to me. “Let’s go to the beach!”

I stayed seated. “The beach, Joey? It’s already getting dark, and my swimsuit is back in my room.”

He laughed and walked around the table to where I was sitting. “I didn’t say I wanted to go swimming and build sand castles. I just said ‘let’s go to the beach’. Come on. It’s only a couple blocks from here.” I obliged, and just a few minutes later, we walked hand in hand along the shoreline. The beach was surprisingly empty for early evening in Los Angeles, and there were only a few other people scattered about-- a couple joggers, a surfer out in the waves, some teenagers playing frisbee, and another couple walking their dog were all we could see along the long stretch of sand and water in front of us. Our shoes rested near a sand dune several yards away as we walked facing the sunset, and brilliant oranges, pinks, and purples spead across the night sky and reflected off the surface of the blue water. Warm waves crashed over our feet and my hair blew wildly in the salty breeze. I nuzzled my head against his shoulder comfortably and sighed in contentment. Joey had somehow managed to turn a rotten day into a fantastic one in just a few short hours. I loved that about him.

Suddenly, he stopped and squeezed my hand. “Let’s go sit,” he suggested, turning his head and gesturing towards the sand dune behind us where our shoes were.
“Okay, sure.” He led me across the sand and plopped down, pulling me with him so that I was situated between his bent legs with my back up against his chest. He wrapped one arm around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. With his free hand, he twirled his fingers in my long curls. “I love your hair,” he murmured against my neck.

“No comment on yours,” I joked.

I could feel the vibrations of his deep laugh against my ear and down my back. “And I love that you have this weird sense of humor but seem to be so much more mature than me at the same time. You get me.”

I stretched my neck awkwardly so that I could plant a kiss on his stubbly cheek. “You get me, too.” I smiled.

He grunted lightly as he twisted his body and moved mine so that my back was resting against one of his bent knees. My body was still surrounded by his, yet we were now facing each other. “I want to talk to you about something,” he said seriously.

“Sure. What is it?”

He grabbed one of my hands and laced his fingers loosely through mine. “I’m guessing you had pretty much the same conversation with Johnny about our relationship that I did.”

“Probably.”

“Well, he told me that when we go out together, we need to act like we’re in love, and I wanted to tell you that it’s going to be pretty easy for me.”

I gulped. “Joey, what are you saying?”

“What I’m saying is that it’s not going to be an act. I-- I love you.” My breath hitched in my throat as he went on. “I know we haven’t been together very long, and half of that time we’ve been apart from each other. I’m not expecting you to say it back yet. I just wanted you to-” I cut him off as I grabbed the back of his head and pressed my lips into his roughly. He groaned as I pushed my tongue into his mouth and ran my fingers through his hair.

I kissed him for a good five minutes while I thought about what I was going to say back to him, and suddenly it was crystal clear. My heart started beating wildly as I pulled away from him, both of us breathless. “I love you, too.”

He grinned widely. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” He practically tackled me and my back fell against the soft, white sand as he landed on top of me.

“We’ve in love!” he shouted. I giggled as he started ravishing me with kisses.

We couldn’t keep our hands off each other as we walked back to the hotel, and when we got into an empty elevator, he promptly pushed my back against the wall and pressed up against me hard, kissing my neck. He jumped back quickly when we heard the tell-tale ding! of the elevator, signaling the doors were opening back up before it had even started moving. We both blushed and he stepped behind me to hide his ahem, excitement, as Brian and his bodyguard sauntered onto the elevator with us. Brian raised his eyebrows in amusement. He nodded his head towards Joey. “Joey,” he greeted him.

“Brian,” Joey returned the nod. When they stepped off the elevator just a few seconds later, we collapsed into a fit of giggles as the elevator rose up another couple floors.

“Well, that was a close one,” Joey gasped, clutching his stomach because he was laughing so hard. He grabbed my hand as the elevator doors opened on his floor and jogged to his room. He fumbled in his pocket for his keycard as he pressed his lips up against mine hungrily. “Now, where were we?” The door swang open and he shut it quickly before pressing me up against it and grinding against me as we kissed. His hands went to my hair and a few grains of sand shook loose. “Shower?” he asked cautiously. I bit my lip nervously and nodded slowly.

He captured my lips in another kiss and broke away before turning towards the bathroom. I followed behind him and watched curiously as he grabbed a couple towels and laid them on the toilet beside the shower. He unwrapped a bar of soap and placed it on the soap dish attached to the tiled wall, then rooted around in his toiletry bag and pulled out bottles of shampoo and conditioner. “The hotel stuff sucks. Use these.” He handed them to me then gestured to the back of the open bathroom door. “There’s a bathrobe there that you can put on when you’re finished.” Then he turned on his heel and started to leave.

I was so confused. “Joe? Where are you going?”

He turned back around and smiled warmly before pulling me into his arms and sweetly kissing me on the forehead. He looked down at my questioning eyes. “Your first....experience...shouldn’t be in the shower. It’s kind of awkward.” He laughed nervously. “We’ll wash the sand off.” He paused. “Separately. Then, we’ll see what happens, okay?”

I nodded. “Thank you.” He winked at me and closed the bathroom door. I spent a lot of time in the shower thinking and talking myself down. One one hand, I really did love Joey and really did want to do this with him. On the other hand, there had been a point in my life that I’d decided to save myself for marriage. However, I definitely couldn’t see myself doing something like Chrissy had, and I didn’t envision myself getting married for quite some time. I had, however decided that maybe I’d wait until I found “The One,” which left me wondering whether or not Joey was “The One.” It scared me a little when I realized that after Danny’s death and everything that had happened with Kevin, maybe he was.

When I emerged from the bathroom patting my hair dry with one of the fluffy white towels Joey had given me, he was lounging in a chair watching TV. He jumped up and wiped his palms on the legs of his jeans, then handed me the remote. “I’ll be quick!” he said, placing his hands lightly on my bathrobe-clad hips and dropping a quick kiss on my cheek. I almost started laughing when he came out of the bathroom less than five minutes later, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers.

So, I know Joey (and others) always called himself “The Fat One,” and that he’s had some weight issues on an off over the years, but in 1998, that wasn’t the case at all. Oh, he was a big guy, but it was mostly muscle. I’d seen him shirtless before, changing quickly after a show or whatever, but in that moment, the sight of his sculpted chest and broad shoulders elicited a little gasp from me. He smiled and walked slowly over to the bed, where I was sitting and watching an episode of “Friends.” He placed his hands on the mattress so that his arms were on either side of me and nudged me backwards so that my head and shoulders fell against the padded headboard. He climbed on top of me so that his body hovered over mine, most of his weight being supported by his hands, and kissed me softly at first, but then with more intensity. I looped my hands behind his neck and kissed him back with the same amount of fervor.

After several minutes of that, he fell into the middle of the bed and turned onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow and looking up at me. “I love you,” he breathed, as his hands trailed through my hair, across my shoulder, and down my side before coming to rest on my hipbone. His fingers traced circles on the fluffy, white terrycloth.

I smiled and inched down on the bed so that my head rested on the pillow and turned toward so that we were face to face. “I love you, too,” I whispered. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him, then crashed his lips down on mine again. I closed my eyes and trailed my hands along the length of his back and stopped them just short of the waistband of his boxers. He moaned and involuntarily thrust his hips into mine, his arousal now very obvious. His hands were everywhere-- my hair, my shoulders, my butt. Then one slipped to the front of my bathrobe and tugged on my belt. I stiffened and my eyes shot open as the robe, which was previously wrapped around me tightly, fell open. Joey’s eyes were closed, but he smiled against my mouth as his hand played along the pane of my bare stomach.

“You feel amazing,” he whispered as he opened his eyes and took his lips off of mine. “You okay?” he asked, placing a hand on my cheek.

“Yeah. I think so.”

He nodded and stared pointedly into my eyes. “Let me know if you’re not, okay?”

I licked my lips and gulped. “Okay.” Suddenly, his lips were on my neck, and I shivered as he licked at the dip above my collarbone. As if by instinct, my hand went to the front of his boxers and rested hesitantly on him.

“God, Em,” he whispered. His fingers trailed along my hip and landed on my thigh. He squeezed gently as if asking permission to go on. My own fingers slipped cautiously through the fly of his strained boxers and he groaned, slipping his hand between my thighs. I inhaled sharply at the new sensation of his large finger inside of me. “Remember, you can tell me when to stop.” His breath tickled my ear. I pursed my lips and nodded, then stroked him lightly. He kissed me and groaned again

We continued on like that for a while until he finally raised up to his knees, straddled my hips, and reached across the bed to his wallet on the nightstand. As he retrieved the foil packet from inside of it, I suddenly envisioned Kevin finding a used condom on the carpet. Then I saw a positive pregnancy test. Actually, I saw two. “Joey, wait.”