Nick gasped and gripped the crib railing until his knuckles turned white. He stood there in shock for a few seconds, then whispered ever-so softly to the sleeping baby below him, “I’m not your daddy, Drew..... but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to be someday.” It was like a fire had been lit under him. He had to talk to Annie. He tore himself away from Drew and raced down the hall to Annie’s room, flinging the door open, only to find that the bed she’d inhabited for the past three days was empty. “Annie?”

The bathroom door was wide open, and he carefully peeked inside. “Annie?” Nothing. He sauntered back out into the hallway and past Drew’s room, headed for the extra bedroom at the end of the hall. “Annie!” Still nothing. He glanced at the stairs as he headed towards his bedroom. It was a long shot, but he figured she’d be more likely to be in his room than downstairs. He and Drew had been playing down there all morning, and he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her all day. “Annie?” A draft of cold air hit his face as he threw the door open, and the curtains next to his bed billowed inside towards him. “What in the world?” he asked himself as he raced to the window and stuck his head outside. “Annie!”

She didn’t move. Not even an inch. Her messy, auburn curls blew wildly in the biting January wind, and a dingy, ivory cashmere throw was pulled taut across her shoulders. Nick grabbed a jacket that had been draped on a bedpost, placed a foot on the windowsill, and hoisted himself up and out onto the roof of the covered porch in the front of his house with a grunt. “What are you doing? It’s freezing out here,” he said as shrugged into the jacket and eased himself down the slight slope to where she was sitting and knelt down beside her.

“Did you know you can see the highway from here? And you don’t have any neighbors across the street-- just in back. So, no one can see me here.” She stared straight ahead, only acknowledging his presence by speaking.

“That’s part of what sold me on the place,” he answered as he shifted his weight from his knees to his behind and sat down on the cold shingles beside her. He leaned into her and she turned to look at him. “It’s time for you to talk to me now, Annie.”

She nodded slowly, but said nothing. They sat in silence for what felt like hours, Nick staring down at his lap and occasionally stealing glances at Annie, and Annie peering straight ahead of her, watching vehicles zoom by. Finally she whispered, “Dr. Andrews.”

“What?”

“Dr. Andrews. How ironic is it that my doctor’s name was Andrews? What kind of sick joke is that, anyway? As if I didn’t feel guilty enough for what happened on the cruise, this had to happen. Then, to add insult to injury, my doctor has the same name as my dead husband!”

Well, that explained her outburst at the hospital when he had mentioned her doctor. Of course, he’d never really put two and two together and realized that might have been quite a blow to her already bruised heart. “Annie--” Nick placed a hand on her shoulder, but she jerked away.

“Don’t!” She snapped.

“Sorry.” He held his hands up in defense, then stuffed them in his pockets.

“I’d thought about it, you know,” she said softly.

“About what?”

“Babies. Maybe one day-- giving Drew a baby brother or sister. I mean before Andrew......” She trailed off and pulled the blanket even tighter around her shoulders. “I always imagined we’d have three or four-- each of them maybe two or three years apart. But then there was a plane crash, and Drew certainly didn’t happen the way I expected him to, and then there was Brian, and you, and...... Haven’t I been through enough already? I mean, I certainly didn’t plan for something like this to happen, but.....” She took in a deep, shuddering gasp. “How do you miss something you never even knew you had?”

Nick’s head snapped in her direction, and he stared at her incredulously as the pent-up anger and grief he’d been holding in for the sake of Annie and Drew over the past few days bubbled up inside of him and started to spill over. “Damnit, Annie! This was my baby, too!” he hissed as he jumped to his feet and started pacing in the space behind her.

Annie flinched at his sudden harshness and loosened her grip on the cashmere throw around her shoulders as she turned to face him. “I-- I know, Nick,” she stammered. “I’m sorry.” She watched with wide eyes, following his angry stomps back and forth as he grunted and groaned, clenched and unclenched his fists, and ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
“Nick, he careful,” she pleaded. “It’s still wet up here from the snow last week. I don’t want you to fall.”

Nick stopped in his tracks and glared at her. “Ask me about Lauren,” he demanded.

She blinked in confusion. “What? Lauren? No! She doesn’t have anything to do with this. If you want to go back Lauren, fine, but...”

Nick schlepped back over to her and stooped down to her level, grasping her shoulders with her hands. “I want you to ask me about what happened with Lauren!” he growled through clenched teeth.

Annie gulped and placed her palms on his chest gently. “Okay.” He loosened his grip on her shoulders. “What happened with Lauren?” she asked softly.

“I bought a ring,” he told her. This was no surprise to Annie. He’d already told her months ago that he had wanted to marry Lauren. “I saw it in the window of Tiffany’s on Rodeo Drive, and I walked in and dropped a shitload of money on it, then walked out with it in my pocket. That night, Lauren told me she was late.”