- Text Size +
He knew that look. They’d been there already but was she really ready to go there? Was he just using her lack of experience as an excuse to not go there right away? He knew he was going to be the first man to cross that threshold and it scared the hell out of him. He loved her so much that he didn’t want to be the cause of her pain. He was a grown man and she was a grown woman with the innocence of a sixteen year old girl in this department. But she certainly wasn’t looking innocent as her dress fluttered to the ground; unveiling a very revealing piece of lingerie. Thank goodness her feet were working because he was frozen. She really had no clue as to how stunning she truly was. The tiny little gown barely covered her all her God given assets.

She approached him and tentatively lay her hands against his bare skin. She could feel his heart racing just like hers. She cautiously ran her fingers down over his body; her eyes landing on something she didn’t notice the first time she’d seen him without a shirt. He had a scar. Her eyes rose back to his and he knew what she was questioning.

“I was born with a heart defect and ten years ago I had to have surgery.”

Her eyes moved back to the scar then leaned down; softly pressing her lips against it. His breath caught and she dragged the towel from around his neck; dropping it to the floor.

“Maggie, where’s your room?”

“Follow me,” she replied and took his hand. She led him down the short hall and through the doorway. She wasn’t sure about the lighting. She wasn’t sure about anything except the reaction she got out of him. It was enough to get him in the room.

“Lights on or off?”

“Off.” She wanted to do this. She was ready to but despite how much he’d already seen of her body, she didn’t want him to see it. Not the first time anyway.

Before reaching for the switch, he took her in his arms and said,” If you’re not ready, we don’t have to do this Maggie.”

Pulling out of his embrace, she flipped the comforter back and pulled down the sheets. Turning back to him, she pressed against his chest and turned the lights off. He held onto her and backed toward the bed. He turned and eased onto it; holding her all the while. Pushing the hair back from her face, his lips met hers. He caressed her body as delicately as their lips were playing. His hand slid under the small skirt and she gasped. His body was on overdrive but his conscience was begging him to stop. He knew how fragile she was and he didn’t want her to feel rushed.” Maggie,” he breathed.

“Brian, I’m okay. Please touch me all those places you’ve been wanting to.” She knew he wasn’t going to go any further unless she gave him the go ahead. She figured the only way he would was to feel her skin against his . She rose and slowly pulled the tiny piece of lingerie over her head and tossed it aside. “I need you to.” He answered by rising up and capturing her lips before easing back against the bed with her.

He could feel her trembling but he couldn’t keep pushing her away. She loved him and she was giving him a gift. It was a part of herself that no other man would ever get to have. It was that very thing that was scaring him just as much as her. God Brian! Be a man! That’s all she wants. Just love her likes she wants to be. He turned her back against the bed as they kissed. Lord she felt so good! Her silky skin pressed against his. The way she touched him as his lips moved over her. Her slight giggle as his lips brushed over her stomach. He was losing his heart to her with every single moment they shared. He slipped out of his jeans and moved back over her body; adoring every inch of her as he did. The feel of her was doing him in. “Maggie baby, I do love you.”

“I love you Brian.” She’d never felt anything so intense and so hard. That was his body reacting to her? Wow! That kind of felt good. She wanted to feel what it could do to her when he was a part of her. “ Brian please. I don’t think I can take much more of this.”

“Are you sure you’re ready Maggie?”

“More than you know.”

Parting her legs, he positioned himself and slowly pushed inside her. It felt so good so why did he feel so guilty about it?

She whimpered as he broke through that barrier. She knew it was going to hurt but Lord have mercy. She felt his movement grow steadier and steadier as she held onto him and just like that, he stopped. Was that it? That’s what she’d been waiting for? Or did she do something wrong?

Oh God that did not just happen! Tell me that did not just happen! He couldn’t have climaxed that fast. He wasn’t a teenager but his body reacted that way. Why with her! Why?! He leaned in and whispered,” Don’t go anywhere I’ll be right back angel.” Kissing her softly before removing himself and headed toward the bathroom. Dammit! She’s gonna hate you forever now. She just gave you the one thing she most cherished and now it’s gone thanks to your’brain’ gearing up like a teenage boy.

He hates me. He really hates me. She knew it was supposed to be painful but there wasn’t any time for him to cause any overabundance of pain. Yes she was sore but she should have hurt more right? She just wanted to curl up into a ball but she didn’t want to lie there in the evidence of what had just occurred. A sad reminder of what could have been beautiful. She eased out of bed and found her robe. She turned the light on. She flipped the comforter onto the floor and threw the pillows across the room before she started ripping the sheets off the bed. God must really hate her or something for this to happen she thought as she fell to her knees at the side of the bed; the tears consuming her. She felt his hands on her shoulders and she flinched. “Please don’t touch me.”

He knew what this was about. It had to be. How could she understand that it was him and not her?” Maggie baby please give me a minute.”

“Why? You don’t want to be with me. I know that now. I shouldn’t have pushed it.”

“Maggie I could have said no too. I want to be with you. More than anything. I just got a little overwhelmed by it all. “

“I don’t understand.” Still not wanting to face him. She knew she’d have to eventually.

“Maggie. Angel. Please look at me.” Her eyes rose to where he was now seated on the bed. “Sit with me.”

She tentatively moved from her position and sat next to him. “It wasn’t your fault. I lost control and I’m sorry. I wanted this to be special and I guess I just lost myself in you.”

She wanted to believe that but it felt like she was just another notch at that point. Instead of pushing it, she simply replied as he brushed her tears away. “I understand now.” But she didn’t. She couldn’t fathom the fact that his impulses took over just like that.

“So are we good now?”

“We’re good.” She smiled but her heart wasn’t in it. How could it be when his wasn’t?