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As the rain began to pour down, Noelle continued to run down the crowded Italian street. She ran until she couldn't breathe. She ran to punish herself, even though she knew that she hadn't done anything wrong. She needed to get as far away from where Brian was standing--calling out to her, wanting her--as she could, because as angry as she was at him, she still felt something when she looked into his eyes. She still wanted to be in his arms. She still wanted to see where their relationship could go.

When Noelle reached the end of the block, she stopped and leaned against the cool, stone side of the small bakery that was there and let the rain wash over her. She hated herself for feeling that way about Brian. She hated that she could possibly be that stupid again. Brian told her all of the same things that Rob had told her. The only difference was that Brian claimed that he was actually legally separated, which kind of makes the whole thing a little bit different.

As soon as Noelle caught herself thinking that maybe it was okay and that maybe she should give Brian a chance to explain, she reminded herself that none of his friends knew about this supposed 'separation'. Brian claimed that he was getting divorced after the tour was over, yet, he couldn't tell his best friends. Shouldn't that mean something? Shouldn't that be a sign that maybe Brian wasn't as sure in his decision as he thought that he was? Not to mention the fact that Brian should have told her that he was married when she poured her heart out to him about Rob. That was the perfect time. Maybe then, Noelle would have listened and let him tell his story, but not now. Not when he'd had so much time and he let Alex be the one to mention Brian's wife. Was that what Brian was waiting for? Someone else to give Noelle the bad news? Was he really that guy?

Noelle took in a shaky breath. She promised herself that she wouldn't cry over Brian again. They hadn't even been in a relationship. They'd slept together twice. They'd kissed a couple of times. They slept wrapped in each other's arms, but she was never Brian's girlfriend.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed off the wall. She could still see the hotel in the distance down the street. She looked up to the top floor and wondered how many times the Backstreet Boys had stayed there. She wondered how many times Brian had slept with his wife on the top floor of that hotel, just as he had slept with Noelle.

She tried not to wonder about Brian's wife, but Noelle couldn't help herself. She wondered about their relationship. She wondered if Brian thought that his wife was prettier than she was. She wondered if what attracted Brian to his wife were some of the same things that attracted Brian to Noelle.

As Noelle began to slowly walk back toward the hotel, her mind was overcome with thoughts of Leighanne. She realized that she needed those answers. She needed to humanize Brian's wife. She needed to know who she was and how Brian loved her. Noelle's pace quickened as she made her way to see the one person that would honestly give Noelle the answers that she was looking for.

Her clothes dripped rain water on the smooth marble floor of the lobby as she made her way to the elevator and up to the top floor of the hotel. She took a deep breath as she stood in front of his hotel room. She brought her hand up to the door and let it rest there while she had second thoughts. Noelle shook her doubts away and let the threatening tears spill down her cheeks as she began to pound on the wooden door.

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Brian had stayed on the street as the rain began to pour. He watched Noelle sprint in the opposite direction until she disappeared and then, he turned slowly and went back to the hotel. When he got back to his room, he threw his dripping wet body onto the bed, where he had been lying ever since. He hadn't known Noelle for very long, but every moment that they'd had together was playing on repeat in his mind.

Brian had never felt worse about himself than he had since watching Noelle run away from him. He knew that he should have been up front with her, but he also knew that it would have changed everything—just like it did. He knew that he'd had the perfect opportunity to tell her everything. If he had, maybe she wouldn't have gotten as mad or, if she would have, maybe she would have given him a chance to explain or at least listened to his side of the story. Knowing what Noelle had just gone though with Rob, it was hard for Brian to believe that his side of the story would have even mattered. Yes, Brian was married, but legally separated had to mean something, didn't it? It had to prove that he was moving in a more positive direction that Noelle's last boyfriend, wasn't that right?

Still, Brian knew that once Noelle found out about Leighanne, it would have been hard for her to let herself feel something for him. Selfishly, Brian was glad that she had begun to care about him. He was hoping that somehow her feelings for him would allow her to give in and at least talk to him again. If he couldn't have her in his life the way that he wanted, he still wanted her to be able to talk to him. The European leg of the tour was almost over and it made Brian sick to think that Noelle wouldn't be around anymore when they got back to the United States. He didn't want things to end like this, especially when he didn't know when he would see her again after this was all over or if he would ever see her again at all.

Brian jumped when his phone vibrated on the table next to him. He wished with everything that he had inside of him that it was Noelle wanting to talk, but he knew that was probably asking too much, especially now. When he picked the phone up, he realized that it was his mother. He had been avoiding talking to her for weeks. Not because he thought that Leighanne had told her about their separation, but because she was his mother and, therefore, knew him better than anyone else. She knew when Brian wasn't telling her something. Brian knew, however, that his mom wouldn't understand when he told her that he was getting divorced.

Right before the phone switched to voicemail, Brian gave in and answered, “Hey, Mom.”

“Brian Thomas Littrell,” Jackie Littrell responded dramatically. “I was one ring away from finding out where you were in the world and buying a ticket to meet you there. I was worried about you. Both you and your wife have fallen off the face of the earth!”

“I'm sorry, Mom,” Brian replied, softly. “There's just been a lot going on.”

“I know that work is tough for you right now,” Jackie tried to sooth, “but this part of the tour is going to be over soon. You sound exhausted.”

“I am,” Brian replied with a sigh, “but Mom, that's not really the problem here.”

“Oh, no,” Jackie responded. “What's the matter? The last time I heard this tone from you, you told me that you were having heart surgery.”

“It's nothing life or death, Mom,” Brian paused, wondering how to continue. “I need you to listen and not judge, okay?”

“Only God can judge, Brian,” Jackie replied softly, urging him to continue.

Brian sighed again and closed his eyes. “Mom,” he started slowly, “Leighanne and I are separated.”

“You mean, like, she's in Georgia and you're over in Europe, right?” Jackie spoke slowly and then held her breath.

“No, Mom,” Brian replied. He gulped before continuing. “We are legally separated. I left her.”

“Brian, how could you?” Jackie gasped into the phone. “You made a promise to Leighanne and an oath under God. Thick and thin. Til death do you part. Doesn't that mean anything to you?”

“Of course it does! But what happens when thin turns into non-existent?” Brian asked.

“You try harder. You don't leave your wife!” Jackie was fuming. She knew that she raised Brian better than this. She knew that she raised him to not give up.

“I knew that you would react like this. That's why I didn't tell you months ago,” Brian replied.

His mother was upset and he couldn't say that he blamed her or that he didn't expect it. Part of him was glad that he was able to get all this leaving his wife stuff done today.

“Months ago?” Jackie yelled. “This happened months ago? Brian, marriage is hard work. It's not always going to be rainbows and butterflies. Do you think that there weren't times when I wondered what else was out there? Do you honestly believe that things were always good for your father and I? No, of course not. But we stuck it out and that's exactly what you're going to do. That's what your faith tells you to do.”

“How can you even say that? You weren't there. You don't live in my marriage. You don't know what I've stuck out and what I haven't. It's done. Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, the real sin was living a lie and marrying Leighanne in the first place? That maybe God knew that this was coming because I've been lying to myself and to Him for the last six years?” Brian yelled back. “I don't know about you, but I believe in a loving, forgiving God.”

“Yes, God is loving and forgiving, but you have to help yourself. God doesn't let mistakes like this happen,” Jackie replied softly, though she had to admit that part of her could see Brian's point.

Brian couldn't help but to chuckle. “No, not all all. God would never allow marriages that aren't meant to be happen. There has to be some other reason why 50 percent of all marriages fail in this country.”

“Brian, there is a difference between a legal marriage and a marriage under God, you know that,” Jackie argued.

“You can't honestly believe that all marriages that end are marriages that are non-religious in nature. We all make mistakes. I'm pretty sure that I learned a long time ago that Jesus Christ died so that our sins may be forgiven,” Brian replied, wondering how he and his mother had gone from talking about his marriage to debating religion. “We all sin. I've thought about it a lot, Mom. I don't think that me divorcing Leighanne is the sin. I think that me ever marrying her, thinking that she was my soul mate... it was all a lie. I've lied to myself, I've lied to Leigh and I've lied to God and now, it's time to make it right. I don't believe that God wants me to live a loveless life full of misery, do you?”

“No, Brian, but you keep saying you think. You think that it's all a lie. You think that you made a mistake,” Jackie replied calmly. “Don't you think that you should know before making another mistake? Before filing for divorce?”

Brian sighed deeply and closed his eyes again.

“I misspoke,” he said quietly. “I don't think. I know, Mom. It's over. It's just so... over.”

“And Leighanne?” Jackie questioned, trying her best to hold back the tears that were welling in her eyes for her son and for the daughter-in-law who she loved. “Does she know where this is going? Does she know yet that it's over?”

 “No, not yet. This isn't a conversation that I want to have over the phone.” Brian was relieved when there was suddenly a knock on the door. “Look Mom. Someone's here, I've got to go. I'll call you soon. I love you.”

After promising to call her back later to discuss this whole 'separation' thing further, Brian and his mom said 'goodbye'. He ended the call and rushed down the narrow hallway to open the door for whoever was waiting. Of course, Brian hoped for the best, though after a day like the day that he was having he knew to expect the worst.