Two days later, the Backstreet Boys were gearing up for the last concert of their European tour. It was a half an hour until show time, and the vibe backstage was beginning to get antsy.

Noelle was being released from the hospital that evening. Her vital signs had improved and her lungs were back to working in an almost-normal capacity. AJ was running late getting back to the venue, but he was expected to be arriving soon. He had gone to pick Noelle up and bring her back to the hotel to rest before the end-of-tour party that she had insisted she was well enough to attend.

Brian was actually glad that AJ was running late. He hadn’t been sleeping very well since everything had blown up with Noelle and then subsequently having to take her to the hospital. Of course, she ran through his mind all night, but for once that wasn’t the only thing bothering him.

In just two days, he would be back in Atlanta and it would be time to have the talk with Leighanne that he had been dreading. He hadn’t decided whether to tell Leighanne that he’d met someone else; he didn’t know if telling her that would make her understand his decision or if it would make her believe that they actually had a chance because he was just blinded by the greener grass on the other side.

Now, as he sat in the backstage area on the dark leather couch in a section reserved specifically for seating, he leaned his head against the wall behind him and attempted to block out the noise that was not only surrounding him, but in his head as well. He was doing a good job of it until he felt the jolt of someone plopping down next to him.

Brian opened one eye, noticed that it was just Nick, and then closed both eyes again.

“Hey, B,” Nick said jauntily as he threw his hands behind his head and also leaned against the wall. “What’s up?”

Brian sighed and kept his eyes closed as he responded, “So, you’ve decided to talk to me again?”

Nick shrugged and peered over at Brian’s completely still frame. “I wasn’t NOT talking to you before. You’ve been such a grouch lately, no one had the guts to come and talk to you about anything. We thought it was better to leave you alone, especially with everything that you’re going through.”

Brian couldn’t help but to chuckle softly. He threw his legs out in front of him and crossed them at his ankles. “Yeah, and I’m sure all the crap AJ told you had nothing to do with it.”

Nick rolled his eyes and sighed. “Whatever, Man. I just figured that since you all seemed to be talking again, that it might mean that everything's blown over, but apparently I was wrong.”

Brian opened his eyes and turned to Nick; then, he sighed. Nick might give off a tough exterior, but he’s actually a pretty sensitive kid. Brian hadn’t meant to push everyone away lately, and he certainly hadn’t meant to be a jerk; it just seemed like his life was getting away from him.

“I’m sorry, Nick. I didn’t mean to snap at you or be an ass. I just really wished that someone would have come to get my side of the story at some point.”

Nick nodded. If anyone could understand that, he could.

“Look, whatever is going on with you and Leighanne or you and Noelle, that’s your business, and not to get all mushy on you or anything, but you didn’t have to hide it from us. If things were bad, you could have talked to one of us, you didn’t have to bone AJ’s sister.” Nick laughed to himself as Brian shot him a look.

“I wasn’t boneing AJ’s sister,” Brian replied, and then leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes again.

“Oh, no?” Nick responded, still smirking. “Then you and AJ must have broken each other’s noses for nothing, right? I guess when AJ told me not to think about touching his sister, he didn’t think that he’d have to worry about you.”

Brian shook his head. “It was complicated, okay?”

“It’s definitely complicated, all right,” Nick replied. “I’ll give you that.”

Nick stopped when AJ walked in towing Noelle behind him. “Speak of the devil; I guess she didn’t want to miss the show. Or maybe she just didn’t want to miss her Backstreet Boy shaking his ass for her one more time.”

Brian opened his eyes just as Noelle and AJ made their way into the room. As he and Noelle locked eyes for a second, she gave Brian a half smile and then followed AJ back into the dressing area just as quickly as she had entered. Brian sighed and closed his eyes again. “I’m not her Backstreet Boy, Nick, and I can guarantee that she doesn’t want to see me shaking my ass.”

Nick laughed and patted Brian on the back. “Whatever you say, Buddy.”

He then got up, finally leaving Brian to the peace that he wanted. However, now that Noelle was right around the corner, peace was the last thing that Brian was going to be able to get.

-----

As AJ sat in the director’s style make-up chair getting his nose powered, Noelle stood nearby. Her arms were crossed and she could feel herself getting tired again, but this was the last Backstreet Boys show that she was going to be seeing for a while; she would never forgive herself if she missed it.

AJ peeked at his sister out of the corner of his eye.

“You know,” he started slowly, “you really didn’t have to come to this. Coming to the party would have been enough.”

Noelle shrugged and shook her head. “I told you that I wanted to be here. I know that coming to the party would have been fine, but I hear that the energy at these last shows is always the best and I want to be here for that.”

AJ rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right.”

“What?” Noelle sighed, not really in the mood to fight with her brother at that moment.

“So, are you going to talk to him?” AJ jumped right in, not wanting to dance around the subject any longer.

“Talk to who?” Noelle snapped, obviously she still had a little of the jitterbug left in her.

“You know who. Are you going to talk to him?” AJ repeated.

He was getting a little annoyed. He didn’t like the idea that his sister was probably in love with his married band mate, but he’d rather Noelle try to work out her issues with Brian than sulking about it all the time. Granted, she’d just gotten out of the hospital and could be sulking about the pneumonia she was just getting over, but still.

Noelle sighed. “I don’t know .What difference does it make? You made it perfectly clear that trying to be with him was a mistake.”

“It is,” AJ replied. “At least right now it is. He needs to get out of his marriage and then, maybe, things can work out, but why make your lives even more complicated?”

“I really don’t even know why we’re having this conversation because it doesn’t matter.” Noelle bit the corner of her lip to keep her threatening tears from spilling. “Brian and I were always just friends. We did a stupid thing a couple of times, okay? That’s it.”

AJ locked eyes with his sister and sighed. She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head, before repeating, “That’s it.”

Both Noelle and AJ turned to the door when the stage manager burst into the room to tell AJ that it was show time. AJ jumped up from his chair and kissed Noelle’s forehead. “Okay. I believe you. That’s it. Try to get some rest. I’ll see you after the show.”

Noelle watched as AJ walked out of the room. Not being able to hold the tears any longer, they fell slowly down her cheeks. She felt like a baby for a crying over the situation again. She hadn’t cried this much over Rob, and they’d been together for over two years. Noelle wiped the tears off of her face and tried her best to smile at the makeup artist, Jenn, who was looking at her sympathetically.

“Honey,” Jenn spoke slowly. “I know that I should just keep quiet about these types of things, but he’s a mess too.”

Noelle shook her head and laughed to herself as she sniffled. “You don’t have to do that. It’s fine. I’m just not feeling well. We’re both fine.”

Jenn sighed and patted Noelle’s shoulder gently. “I kind of agree with AJ on this one, even if you go your separate ways tomorrow, you should still tell him how you feel. It’ll make a world of difference to you both. I promise.”

Noelle glanced at Jenn and crossed her arms in front of her. She then sighed and shook her head. “Alex is right. I need some rest.” Noelle turned and walked out of the room, wondering if Jenn was right, if she would feel better if Brian knew that she cared about him, too. Noelle’s head was starting to pound as she realized that it didn’t matter. Suddenly, she was exhausted.

-----

Brian was the last one to arrive to the after-party that night. He wouldn’t have even gone, except for the fact that Nick had made a good point earlier in the day. For the entire European tour, Brian had been acting like kind of a jerk. The guys deserved better of him, despite everything that he was going through. For one night, Brian was going to try to push it all aside and just have a good time.

It wasn’t long before the drinks started to flow, and Brian could feel his mood begin to lighten. Brian was usually the one carrying the others home, but tonight he hoped that things would be different. Getting drunk in Europe had only brought good things into his life thus far—Noelle—his sober-self was what ended up losing them.

When Noelle saw Brian arrive, she had hoped that he would come over and, at least, tell her hello. Instead, she watched as he walked over to the bar and poured liquor down his throat as the others cheered him on. As the night wore on, Noelle sat at the bar by herself, watching as Brian danced alone in the middle of the crowded dance floor until finally, it was just him and a couple of other lost, drunken souls.

AJ, Nick and Howie thought that this version of Brian was hilarious. That was kind of making Noelle more sick.

“I told you he was a mess,” Jenn said as she flopped down onto a bar stool next to Noelle.

 “He looks like he’s having a great time,” she replied dryly.

Jenn shot Noelle a look out of the corner of her eye and then shook her head. “You should probably go save him from this embarrassment.”

“Why?” Noelle replied in monotone. “He’s not my problem.”

“You two are unbelievable,” Jenn replied. “He’s drinking to forget about you. Don’t you have a brother that’s an alcoholic? Shouldn’t you want to stop the people that you care about from abusing it?”

Noelle sucked her teeth and narrowed her eyes at Jenn. “You’re pulling at strings now.”

Jenn shrugged and took a sip of her drink. “Maybe so. I just know Brian, okay? I’ve been in the family for a while and I can vouch for him, he’s good guy and he cares about you. You should at least say goodbye before you both leave. That’s all I’m saying.”

Noelle shook her head and jumped off of her bar stool. “I’m sorry. I can't talk this anymore. I need some air.”

Noelle then headed for the door without looking back. She held her breathe until the cool London air hit her and then she exhaled. She didn’t know where Jenn got off. They’d hardly said two words to each other through the entire tour, and now she was giving her life advice? Noelle was trying not to be mad. She knew that Jenn was just trying to help, but really, she wasn’t being very helpful. Noelle knew that Brian was really a good guy. She knew that it was a good thing that Brian cared about her, but why didn’t anyone understand that none of that mattered? Was she, suddenly, the only person with a brain around here?

Noelle wrapped her arms around herself when a sudden breeze caused a shiver to run down her spine. Not wanting to go back to the party, she sat down on a wooden bench that stood near the curb of the street. She set her elbow on her knee and placed her chin in her hand, and then she sighed again.

After a few minutes, the fresh air was starting to clear her mind. Just as she was ready to get up and rejoin the party, the steel back door of the party venue slammed opened and Brian stumbled out alone.

Noelle sat back slowly and watched him. He clumsily walked to the edge of the street humming an unfamiliar tune. He stopped at the corner and looked left and then right, and then, he started chuckling to himself. He ran his hands through his hair and then turned left—the opposite way of the hotel.

Noelle laughed to herself softly and stood from her seat on the bench. She walked slowly toward where Brian was about to get himself lost in a strange city and then stopped with her hands on her hips.

“Hey,” she called out. “Enjoy the party tonight?”

Brian stopped walking and turned around. A wide grin spread across his face when he realized that it was Noelle calling out to him.

“Awesome party!” Brian slurred. “I didn't see you there.”

“You didn't see much of anything except for the bottom on a shot glass,” Noelle replied with a smirk. She took a couple of steps toward him slowly.

Brian shrugged and waved her off. “Bah. I didn't even drink that much.”

Noelle laughed and shook her head slowly. “So then, you must just be turned around?”

“Turned around from where?” Brian asked, his eyebrows knitted in confusion.

“The hotel? It's in the other direction.” Noelle laughed again as she pointed toward the tall hotel building that could still be seen from where they were standing.

“Oh,” Brian replied, taking a step past her and then laughing. “I was just going the long way.”

“Right,” Noelle replied to Brian's turned back. She watched as he took about five steps and then tripped over his own two feet. He tumbled to the ground, but caught himself with his hands. Noelle hurried over to help him up. She put an arm around his waist and grabbed his forearm with her other hand. “Are you going for more broken bones here Rocky?”

Brian glared at her playfully and then dusted himself off.

“Thanks,” he mumbled and slung a heavy arm around Noelle's shoulders. “So, about now, I'm really hoping that you're going back to the hotel, too.”

“I wasn't,” Noelle sighed. “But, in my right mind I can't imagine letting you walk back to the end of the street alone. You haven't managed to walk more than a few steps without falling.”

Brian unwrapped himself from Noelle and stepped forward. “Forget it. I don't need your pity-walk. I can make it myself.”

Noelle sighed and shook her head. She stepped back up toward Brian and wrapped her arm around his back again. “I was playing with you. Let's go.”

Brian looked down at her as they walked. After a couple of minutes, he wrapped his arm back around her shoulder and leaned into her. They walked together in silence down the quiet London street until they got to the hotel. Noelle guided Brian through the lobby and up to his room.

“Where's your key?” Noelle asked softly.

Brian turned the door knob even though he knew that the door was locked and then, he shrugged. “I don't know.”

“Geeze, Brian,” Noelle sighed. “I knew that you'd had enough drinks to keep me from counting that high, but I didn't realize that you probably had enough to make you stupid.”

She reached into Brian's pockets until she found his wallet in the back.

“Woo-hoo,” Brian giggled as Noelle's hand grazed his backside.

Noelle rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but to laugh along with him. She pulled his room key out of his wallet and let them both into his room. She walked him to the bedroom and let him fall onto the bed. She then stood back and watched as he climbed toward the headboard. He sprawled himself out on his back and threw his arm over his eyes.

Noelle knew that she should have just left, but instead she sat on the edge of his bed by his feet. Gently, she slipped his shoes and socks off and laid them on the floor. She ran her hand softly over the top of his foot and then quickly pulled her hand back. When she looked up at Brian, he was peeking out at her from under his arm. Noelle shot him a small smile and then stood up.

She cleared her throat. “I should, um, get going, I guess.”

“Thanks for walking me home,” Brian mumbled. “H-how are you feeling by the way? Better?”

“I'm okay, thanks for asking.” She gave Brian a wave and turned toward the door. “So, um, have a safe flight home.”

“Noelle,” Brian called out, “you don't have to go.”

“Brian-” Noelle started. She closed her eyes and shook her head with her back still turned toward him.

“I don't want you to go,” Brian continued, pulling himself up on his elbows slowly. “Stay with me. Here. Please. Just one more time. I need you, Noelle.”

Noelle turned around slowly and melted when she saw the pleading look in Brian's eyes. Without warning, tears began to spill down her cheeks. She walked slowly over to Brian's bed and sat down on the edge again, this time at his waist instead of his feet.

Brian wrapped his arm around Noelle's waist and pulled her down close to him. Noelle trembled when he ran his hand down the side of her face. They both leaned in closer, slowly, until their lips met.

Noelle pulled her legs up under herself and rolled her body on top of Brian's. As Brian ran his hands up her back, she intertwined her fingers in his hair and kissed slowly down his jaw line. She sighed into his neck, finally realizing what was happening.

Not particularly wanting to stop it but knowing that she needed to, she kissed his lips softly again and whispered into his mouth, “I need to go.”

Brian moved his lips to meet hers once again. He didn't want to let her go. He wouldn't be able to watch her walk out the door, not tonight, not when after tomorrow he didn't know when he was going to see her again.

“Don't,” Brian whispered, and then kissed her again. “Please, don't leave. Noelle, I love you and I miss you and I'm sorry.”

Admittedly, the alcohol was making him uninhibited. He didn't care that this was the way that he told her that he loved her. He would probably care in the morning, but he was glad that she knew.

“Brian,” Noelle started, shaking her head slowly. Once again, the tears were starting to fall. “You can't say that to me, not now, okay? You've been drinking, and it's not fair.”

Brian intertwined his fingers in her hair on both sides of her face. “I mean it. It doesn't matter that I've been drinking because the truth is the truth. I love you and I need you here, just to be close to me, just one more night. Even if you hate me, I need you to just pretend for one night that nothing has changed.”

He slid his thumbs under her eyes and kissed the tears away from each cheek.

Noelle buried her head into his neck. She knew that she needed to leave. Staying there that night would only make things harder the next day.

Instead of doing what she knew that she was supposed to do, Noelle whispered, “Say it again. Tell me that you love me again.”

Brian kissed the side of her head and whispered into her ear, “I love you.”

Noelle looked into Brian's eyes and kissed his lips softly. She then jumped out of Brian's bed and walked toward the door.

Brian watched as she disappeared down the hallway. He flinched when he heard the door close. Even in his drunken state, he could feel his heart break inside of his chest. Just like Noelle minutes before, the tears started to slide down his face.

A second later, Brian heard another door open and close and the toilet flush in the background. He sat up on his bed again just as Noelle came down the hallway in one of his t-shirts that she must have gotten out of his packed suitcase.

“Move over,” she whispered.

Brian did as she asked. He slid over and held the comforter up so that she could climb underneath it with him. They both laid on their sides, Noelle with her back to Brian, Brian with his arms wrapped tightly around her. Brian kissed the back of her neck softly as they both drifted peacefully off to sleep.