Later that week, Leighanne was cleared by the doctor to finally go back home. It was going to be Brian and Leighanne’s first time back in the same house in months. Brian had gone on tour and left her behind before all of the divorce talk happened. Picking up where they left off had been easy then. Now, it was awkward.
Before last week, Brian had no intention of coming back to the home that they had shared for the last five years. He’d said that he was finished with their marriage and he’d filed divorce papers. Now, because of a drama-filled stand that she’d taken, Brian had realized that they needed to do everything possible before throwing in the towel. Trying to kill herself was something that Leighanne had never dreamed of doing before, and it was nothing that she’d ever dream of doing again, but for whatever reason it was the wakeup call that Brian needed to come home where he belonged. Leighanne was weary of calling her hospitalization a blessing in disguise, but perhaps it was.
When they arrived to the rural part of Atlanta where they lived, Brian grabbed Leighanne’s bag out of the backseat of the car, and they both walked silently to the front door. They were finding it hard to speak to each other. Months earlier, their communication wasn’t good, but at least they could find something to talk about. There was a cloud hanging over them that Leighanne promised she wouldn’t bring up—a dark-haired, blue-eyed, 20-something year old, dark cloud. Leighanne wanted to keep her promise to Brian, but as she started to feel better she found that she had so many questions; there was so much left unsaid.
Why did Brian really decide to walk away after the things that he’d told Noelle in the hallway of the hotel that day? Why Noelle? What made him fall in love with Noelle and out of love with her? What could she do to be more like the person that Brian had fallen in love with?
Leighanne knew that it was pathetic, which was part of the reason that she’d never come right out and ask Brian any of the things that were on her mind. If she so much as mentioned Noelle, she knew that he would get frustrated and probably snap at her. In the back of her mind, Leighanne knew that the silence regarding Brian’s girlfriend was for the better; she probably wouldn’t want his honest answers.
Leighanne watched as Brian pushed opened their front door and allowed her to enter the house first. Her breath caught in her throat at the last memories she had of being there alone, and then again at the last memories she had of being there with Brian.
Brian rested his hand on the small of Leighanne’s back comfortingly. “Are you okay?”
Leighanne tried her best to muster a smile. “Yeah, I’m great.”
“Liar,” Brian smirked and brushed past her to bring her bag up to their room.
Leighanne laughed softly and followed behind him. “Fine, it’s a little weird being back here. Not just with… Well, it’s just… it’s weird with everything.”
Brian threw her bag into the closet and nodded slowly. “Yeah, it is a little strange, I guess.”
He watched as Leighanne sprawled out on her side of the bed. It was early in the afternoon, but she was due for a nap. While in the hospital, all she ever did was eat, sleep and go to therapy. Brian yawned just thinking about it. He’d been catching up on some much needed sleep too. He contemplated slipping into bed next to Leighanne, but then vetoed that idea quickly.
“I think that I’m just going to go downstairs and watch some TV for a bit. Catch up on SportsCenter or something?” Brian said as he inched his way toward the door.
Leighanne nodded and then sat up in bed. “Maybe we can go get dinner later?”
“Sure,” Brian replied, “Sounds good.”
“Want to make reservations at Maggio’s?” Leighanne pushed, mentioning their favorite restaurant. Maggio’s had even catered their wedding.
Leighanne didn’t like watching him back out of the room so uncomfortably. She didn’t want him to leave. Before all of their problems started, he would have crawled into bed next to her and wrapped her in his arms. She knew that it would take time to get back to being that couple, but she hoped that it wouldn’t take forever.
She missed her husband, but she knew that he missed someone else. His heart was mistakenly broken, and now she had to wait for him to put the pieces back together and realize that his heart didn’t have a reason to be broken at all.
“Yeah.” Brian nodded. “I’ll make reservations for 7?”
“Sounds good,” Leighanne replied as she laid back down in their soft bed.
“Good,” Brian smiled again and backed the rest of the way out of the room. “Get some rest. I’ll wake you when it’s closer to dinner time.”
Brian closed the bedroom door behind him and bounced back down the stairs. He made the reservations for dinner and then laid back against the couch. He was ready for a nap, but he wasn’t about to tell Leighanne that. He was afraid that she would insist that he sleep in the bed next to her. It was going to be one thing lying there when the lights were off and it was time for bed and they were both exhausted, but when it was the middle of the day, things were sure to be get more awkward than they already were.
Besides, Brian just needed a second alone. He’d been able to push his thoughts aside and focus on what was in front of him, but Noelle still lingered in his mind. He still wanted to send her a friendly text message or pick up the phone and call just to hear her voice. It wasn’t going to help his marriage to continue wanting something that he couldn’t have and shouldn’t want in the first place.
He kept trying to tell himself to man up. He had a beautiful, albeit nearly crazy, woman upstairs that loved him and wanted him, and he’d had the opportunity to love and be loved by a beautiful, albeit it somewhat crazy herself, woman during a really hard time in his life. Brian had been blessed, and as he kept telling himself over and over, he needed to focus on what was right in front of him.
With that thought in mind, he got up off of the couch and walked back into his bedroom. Leighanne opened her eyes slowly when she heard the door open. Brian smiled at her softly and walked over to his side of the bed. Leighanne lifted the covers for him to join her underneath them. Brian climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around his wife. He kissed the back of her neck softly.
“Welcome home, Brian,” Leighanne murmured as she drifted back off to sleep.
***
Noelle was sitting on the couch in her apartment with her laptop on her lap when Emily walked in carrying a large bag of Chinese food. It was what Emily called the breakup special.
When Noelle had arrived home from Atlanta earlier in the week, she’d called Emily in tears. She hadn’t told her friend any of the specifics about her breakup with Brian, only that they had gone their separate ways. Emily had been there while she cried and went on about how awful she felt for that night, but the next day it was as if her friend’s heart was magically healed. Emily didn’t understand how Noelle could be so put together so quickly after she had fallen apart. So, the next night, she insisted on bringing over the breakup special.
Noelle was thankful that her friend was looking out for her, even if it was unnecessary. She was starving and hated going to the grocery store.
“How are you doing, friend?” Emily greeted as she set the bags down on the coffee table in front of Noelle.
Noelle set her laptop aside and dug into the takeout.
“I’m doing fine,” she said as she pulled out the never-ending boxes of Chinese food. “You got enough to feed an army here, Em!”
“That’s why it’s the breakup special. You know that food is always great comfort when you’re feeling bad,” Emily answered with an exasperated roll of her eyes.
“I’m not feeling badly,” Noelle replied. She picked up a container of some unnamed chicken dish and began picking at the food inside.
Emily rolled her eyes again. “Yeah, right.”
“I’m not,” Noelle defended. “I’m fine.”
“Then why won’t you talk about it?” Emily pushed. Noelle usually told her everything. It wasn’t like her to completely shut down, especially after a breakup.
“There’s nothing to tell,” Noelle replied, sighing softly. “Brian and I were together and now we aren’t.”
“The jerk went back to his wife didn’t he?” Emily said bitingly. “I knew that was going to happen! I’m starting with the cheesecake!”
Noelle couldn’t help but to laugh. “He kind of did, but he’s not a jerk. I told him to go.” She sighed again and put her chicken back down onto the coffee table. “Look, it was like this. Before I say anything you need to be sworn into secrecy!”
“Who the hell am I going to tell, Noelle? Only you. And you’re the one about to spill some big secret that probably only you and Brian care about,” Emily replied. When she saw the serious look on her best friend’s face, she retracted. “I’m sorry. I am sworn into secrecy.”
Noelle took a deep breath and started to speak a mile a minute. “Leighanne showed up in New York while Brian and I were there. Brian told her to get lost. She ran back to Atlanta and took an entire bottle’s worth of pain killers and muscle relaxers and she was in the hospital and Brian rushed down there and we both felt really guilty, but more than that, it made us realize that we both had too much baggage to make a real go at a relationship, so while we love each other we needed to set each other free.”
Finally, Noelle breathed. She looked at her friend whose mouth was hanging wide opened.
“Will you say something?” Noelle spoke again after a couple minutes worth of silence.
“She tried to kill herself?” Emily shrieked. “That’s major! And Brian going back to that only reinforces that behavior.”
“Have you suddenly changed your major to Psychology?” Noelle teased with a small smile. “It’s way more than that. It just brought everything to a screeching halt. Brian knew that he never would have forgiven himself if something had happened to her or if he walked away without ever really trying, and I would never be completely comfortable until I knew that she was done fighting for him. And then I have my own mess to figure out. I’m trying to get back into school. I have dreams that I don’t want to give up on either.”
Emily nodded at the computer that was still sitting next to Noelle on the couch. “Is that what you were doing? Looking at schools?”
Noelle nodded. “I thought about trying the University of South Florida or Miami, but I think I need to get out of Florida. I need a change, you know?”
“You have great transcripts and awesome references. You could get in anywhere that you wanted,” Emily replied. “I just don’t want you to go too far.”
Noelle smiled again. “I was kicked out of this program, remember? It’s not going to be that easy. I just need to get an interview someplace. If I can get into the Dean’s office, I know that I could get in.”
“Maybe you just need to use those connections of your brother’s, huh?” Emily raised her eyebrows playfully as she turned toward the television.
“Aside from the whole Rob drama, I think Alex’s connections are partially what got me into my present mess,” Noelle laughed. “And besides that, I’m not sure that Alex has any connections in the world of awesome medical schools.”
“Everyone knows a Backstreet Boys’ fan,” Emily replied. “You just never know.”
“You’re such a nerd,” Noelle laughed. “But I love you. And thank you.”
“For?” Emily inquiring, turning back to her friend.
“You were right,” Noelle sighed, trying to keep the strangled smile on her face. “I wasn’t okay.”
Emily wrapped her arm around Noelle, and Noelle rested her head on her friend’s shoulder.
“I miss him,” Noelle sighed.
“He’d be stupid not to miss you too, Elle,” Emily replied.
Both of the girls fell silent and let the sound of the television fill the room. It was the first time that she’d said it out loud, but she did miss Brian. She missed him a lot.
With a final sigh, Noelle lifted her head, grabbed her chicken back up from the table and pulled her laptop into her lap. It was time to get back to work.
