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«When did time begin to fly so fast, Nick? It seems just like yesterday that... - A long breath, followed by a silence that filled up the emptiness of words that still couldn't be spoken so easily. - ... Do you hear those notes in the background? Yes, you can't be wrong. They're Christmas songs. When did Christmas come so quicly that I didn't even notice it?»

Brian's eyes took hold of everything that was around him in that room, all drowned in the dark except for the dim glare coming from the light left on in the kitchen. A series of boxes were gathered up near the door, still all closed from the previous year.

«I found all of our decoration but I still can't find myself opening them. I thought I was ready, I thought that the worst was over and that I could be strong enough to bear and stand these new memories.
I was a fool.
Tomorrow is Christmas's Eve and... we've never been home on that day. It was our day, it was our tradition: going all over the places, all dressed up so we wouldn't be recognized and we used to spend all those hours between people, tasting the Christmas's air and act like a normal couple. We used to buy a hot chocolate, we used to observe all those people who run to make the last gifts. But there is an image that I will always bring with me and it's about you, of course, when the first snowflakes would start to fall down. You looked so happy, red cheeks and a light in those smile that tell how you could never be more happy than ever.
What is it left for me? Nothing and even your memories can help this time.
Christmas was our festivity, those traditions that we were hoping to share one day with our family. Now I'm all alone, I'm like one of those houses we always looked with a sad smile, all dark and empty of decorations. I know I'm not truly alone and that I don't have to be, especially tomorrow. But you would agree with me when I say that it's not the same. It won't ever be the same. I can spend the festivities with my parents or the other guys but I'll always be the outsider, I will always be the one who would then come home and spend the last hours all by myself. There won't be smiles in the morning, no more exchange of gifts while we're still under the blankets and no, there won't be any more hours spent inside that warmth just because we could, no more wrapped one other in each other's embrace, still trapped in that thin and special line between sleep and wake.
You know that I've never really cared for gifts because, well, you know, we could already have whatever we want in any moment of the year. For us, Christmas wasn't only for the gifts. Gifts weren't the only thing that could hold a meaning. And Christmas wasn't only for the sweets, although you loved them so much. Christmas, for us, was just spending it together. First as a couple and then with all the family. That's why Christmas was so special for me.»


After days and weeks, the first tear took Brian by surprise and unprepared, leaving him with no defences against the wave of pain.

«You. You'd be the one thing I'll ask for.
See you once more.
Touch you once more.
Kiss you and let myself wrapped inside your arms.
Just one last time.
That's all I ask for this Christmas.»