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Back at Disneyland, a blue and yellow submarine floated beneath the waves, bubbling past a host of festive sea life. Inside the sub, the other four Backstreet Boys were in equally high spirits. “We all live in a yellow submarine… yellow submarine… yellow submarine!” they sang, all through the Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage, annoying the passengers around them.

Nick was in his element, and he was glad to see the others enjoying themselves. They had just gotten off the Matterhorn Bobsleds – Nick had called dibs on the front seat – and before that, they’d been on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, where Nick had dared Kevin to sneak out of their boat and steal Captain Jack Sparrow’s hat. To his astonishment, Kevin had taken the dare! The old man must have mellowed in his old age, thought Nick, as he snapped pictures of Kevin in the captain’s hat, cackling hysterically the whole time. “This is the time… of Captain Jack Sparrow,” he sang, as Kevin posed at the helm of a pirate ship, where a holiday wreath had been hung on the wheel. “Pirate so brave… on the seven seas! Mystical quest… to the isle of Tortuga! Raven locks sway… on the ocean breeze!”

Being the Backstreet Boys was the only thing that had kept them from being escorted out of the park by security.

When Nick, Kevin, Howie, and AJ disembarked their submarine, they were surprised to find Brian waiting for them at the ride exit. “Hey, look who’s back!” exclaimed Howie. “Ol’ murse mannequin!”

Brian forced a tight smile as the others laughed.

“Yo, I thought you were gone for good,” added AJ, clapping Brian on the back.

“Where have you been?” asked Kevin, with a frown.

“And what’s that behind you?” wondered Nick, with a “What the fuck?” look on his face.

“Long story,” Brian said and beckoned Patches forward. “This is my new friend, Patches the Flying Pandaskunk.”

“Flying… Pandaskunk?” Now all of the Boys were giving each other “What the fuck?” faces.

“Dude…” Nick alone seemed to appreciate the epic randomness of a flying pandaskunk. “That is AWESOME!” He high-fived Brian, and suddenly, they were all friends again.

“Listen, you guys,” said Brian, as they strolled around the park. “There’s something we need to do… a promise I need to keep.” And he began to tell the other Boys all about his adventure to the Planet of Misfit Fans.

When Kevin, AJ, and Nick heard Brian’s story, they started to realize that maybe they had been a little hard on the misfit. Maybe misfits have a place, too. Even Howie realized that maybe he was wrong. “Brian, I promise, as soon as we find a way to get to that planet, we’ll put on an unforgettable show for all those misfit fans,” he said. “And if you want to keep modeling purses and scarves for your wife’s online store, it’s fine by me. Maybe she can make me one of those cross-body bags you’re always wearing.”

“Hey, what happened to your little man-purse?” Nick asked, noticing that Brian was no longer wearing it.

“I gave it to a good friend,” said Brian with a smile. Remembering where Chewbacca and Han had gone, he suddenly frowned. “But I don’t think we’re going to make it back to the Planet of Misfit Fans anytime soon. Our ride went to the planet Kashyyyk to celebrate Life Day.”

“It’s okay,” replied Nick. “We can take my rocketship.”

The Backstreet Boys blinked. “Your… rocketship?” asked Kevin in confusion.

“Yeah! You know…” Nick started to sing. “I think I’ll put my spacesuit on… so I can jump into my rocket!”

The other boys just stared.

“What?” Nick laughed. “You didn’t think that was all just a metaphor, did you? No, I really do have a rocket! I built it myself, using props I stole from the set of Fast Glass. Dolla dolla bill, yo!”

“O…kay. Well then… I guess we’re performing a Christmas concert on the Planet of Misfit Fans?”

“Let’s do it!”

“On three?” Brian put out his hand, and one by one, Nick, AJ, Kevin, and Howie placed their hands on top of his. “One… two… three… BACKSTREET!” they shouted.

Whilst their battle cry rang through the air, the Backstreet Boys raced to Nick’s rocketship, ready to put on the most stellar show of their career.

***