56. Duck And Run
December 2015
“Where is that goddamn left turn?” Nick cried out heatedly. They’d been driving for the past two hours and all he could see was a straight highway where there should have been a left turn.
“Hell if I know,” Baylee muttered from the backseat. Great. Nick dared a look sideways, at his friend, who’d been staring out of the window, sightless, vacant. Raking up his courage, Nick flew his right arm towards his brother, hitting him in the shoulder.
“Woa, woa, what?” Brian yelled suddenly, exasperated.
“Focus!” Nick urged, “Where’s the left turn?”
The former Backstreet Boy looked at him for a while, then finally answered, “Do I look like I paid attention?”
“I’m just saying, you oughta know, cause you’ve been staring out of that window for over an hour, dude.”
“Alright, alright, let me check,” Brian sighed, returning his gaze to the outside world again, “Well, I do know we’re not supposed to be here,” he mumbled, more to himself than to his friend.
Nick’s mouth fell open in astonishment and he heard the boy on the backseat snicker ruefully. Nick shot him a venomous look. It had been hell to convince the kid to get into the car and on their way that morning. Baylee had neatly chosen that moment to be a little pain in the ass and had refused to even get out of bed. Add the fact that Nick was all on his own in finally being able to get the thirteen year old strapped into the car, as Brian hadn’t done anything but following him meekly wherever he went and not giving a damn about anything. So was it really any wonder he was stressed out right now? Only when Nick had threatened to call Leighanne to pick Baylee up if he didn’t get in the car right now, Baylee had sweetly complied. Terrific, the fact that the child would rather go along with them to Kentucky than to stay with his mom, spoke more than a thousand words. Brian had kept himself on the background, merely grunting whenever Leighanne was subject of discussion, but making very clear that it was something they were not allowed to speak about. The last three weeks, or weeks of eventfulness, as they called them now, they had only been a little successful in blocking the thoughts of what was to come when all the fun ended. Nick had felt it slamming right into his face the past four days, and he was almost entirely sure it felt the same for Brian, judging by the way his friend had grown even more quiet than he was.
But unlike his son, Brian had had no trouble in finding his seat in the convertible. It had surprised Nick a little in the way his former band mate seemed so eager in going to Kentucky. Maybe he forgot why we’re heading there. Probably.
“This is just great,” he muttered to himself, “you know, these are your parents we’re going to, you should know the way!”
“Not really, we usually fly there,” Brian answered. Why wasn’t he stressed out? They were going to be late, that was for sure. Nick normally couldn’t care less about being late somewhere, but this was important.
“Well, we can’t fly, remember?” Nick urged.
“I know, my fault, I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” he sighed. “Come on, you must have gone to your parents by car once in your life, right?”
“Oh sure, you think I would remember? Why is this all my fault? What was the exact reason you don’t drive with GPS anymore?”
“Because I broke it…” Nick mumbled.
“Exactly.”
“Left,” Baylee muttered suddenly.
“What?”
“Left, after half a mile, turn left. That’s what the sign read.”
“I’m glad someone’s paying attention,” Nick said, relieved and sank into the driver’s seat again. “I’ll give you five bucks.”
“I get five bucks?” Baylee shot up at the mention of money, looking at Nick in the rear-view-mirror with bright, expectant eyes. “Dad, he’s gonna give me five bucks!”
“Don’t give money to my kid.”
“Dad! Not cool!”
Nick laughed amused as the bickering between father and son went on for a little while longer. They needed this, this useless chatting. His smile faded when he realized this would be one of the last normal conversations they were going to have for a long time.
June 2016
“Oh, finally. Prince Charming is going to get married,” Howie teased, only a little drunk.
“Shut up, you’re drunk even before the ceremony’s started,” Nick glared. How he wished he could get drunk too…
“I’m not drunk,” Howie slurred carefully, “Just tipsy, kay?”
“Whatever you say, dude.”
“I can’t help it, this wine’s just so good.”
“It’s a fine wine!” Nick joked and heard Howie laugh hysterically. It was a joke that had been going on for more than a decade now, but somehow, it still set Howie off. Nick smiled and shook his head, turning only to shrink back as he saw his mother approach rapidly.
“Nickolas Carter,” she started in a warning tone, “are you going to leave that poor girl doing everything by herself?”
He stared at her for a moment and felt Howie brush past him, mumbling, “Oh no, here comes trouble.” Finally he smiled back at the woman that he hadn’t called Mom in the longest time. “Look, I really wish I could help, but I thought I wasn’t allowed to see the bride before the wedding?” He tried sweetly.
Jane seemed to think about that for a minute, then decided to approach a different subject. “You know, you’re brother was really upset when you didn’t ask him to be your best man.”
Nick almost scoffed, but stopped himself before he had the chance to. It was hard to imagine Aaron being upset about something like that. “Is that why he’s not here?” he challenged, knowing well that Aaron probably couldn’t care less about him getting married. Aaron couldn’t care less about anything. It wasn’t really surprising, considering Nick had been the exact same when he’d been his age. At that time he hadn’t cared about anything but himself, but those days were over. If only he could convince his mother that this past year had learnt him a lot about himself, as well as others. She didn’t believe in him, she didn’t believe he could change. He did, and he had, but was it ever good enough? Did it really matter?
Jane didn’t answer him right away, and eventually mumbled something that sounded like, “Still, it couldn’t have hurt to ask someone.”
Nick stopped her, grabbing her arm before she could walk away, “I did ask someone,” he let her know.
“Who might that be?”
“Brian,” Nick clarified simply. He watched surprised as his mother’s face changed from one of anger and disappointment, to pity and compassion.
“Oh honey,” she whispered.
“What?” he asked perplexed. Why was she like this?
“He’s not coming, baby,” she replied softly.
Nick frowned, shaking his head, “No… you don’t know that.”
Jane didn’t say another word, instead looking at the church’s doors with a sad expression. Nick followed her gaze and saw what she meant. There they were. His family, friends, his bandmates, Lauren’s friends, even parents of friends, children of friends. He watched with a stone expression as Kevin hesitatingly raised his hand to greet him from the back of the church. Nick raised his hand as well, but his face didn’t change. Kevin’s other arm was around a thirteen years old shoulder and Nick wished with all his might that it wasn’t so. But he couldn’t deny the truth anymore when behind the blond kid, a woman, just as blond, appeared. Nick pressed his eyes shut, trying to block it out. He didn’t want to remember, not now, not today. This was his day. He opened his eyes again, still waiting, hoping, but realized after a while that his Mom was right. Brian wasn’t there, he wouldn’t come either. And it was all his fault.
December 2015
He woke up with a start and noticed immediately that it was in the middle of the night. He didn’t know exactly where the noise that had woken him had come from. Listening intently, he wondered if maybe he would hear it again. After a few moments, he shrugged, but just when he’d put his head back on the soft pillow Brian’s Mom had carefully picked out, just when he’d closed his eyes to go back to sleep, he heard it, and his eyes flew open again. This time he did recognize the sound and frowned deeply. This part of Lexington was usually really quiet, even more so at midnight. Brian had chosen the perfect location for the house he’d bought his parents so many years ago. The old, but beautiful farm was large and dark, but full of love, with a long, private road leading up to it. The only sound you could hear in the night was the soft rustling of the trees, or the quiet stream of water in the garden. The harsh noise of a convertible’s engine stood out everywhere in this town, but even more so here, at midnight.
Nick slowly climbed out of bed, hoping no one else had heard the sound, and tried to make the stairs creak as little as possible. He hadn’t cared to put any socks on, and his shoes felt cold and clammy around his bare feet as he put them on, on the porch. A chill ran through his spine when he felt the freezing night breeze play with his light jacket. It wasn’t made for Kentucky winters and Nick wished he’d bought another one when they’d arrived in town that afternoon. Shivering, he made his way around the house, hands jammed into his pockets, trying to keep himself as warm as possible. He already knew where he was going, already knew what he’d find there too. He sighed deeply as he opened the heavy garden door and walked towards the open shed where he’d parked his car only half a day before. He stared for a while, contemplating when it was the right time to say anything.
“Where are you going, Rok?” He finally said, looking sternly at the man that was making only vain attempts in getting the roofless car back to life. Nick didn’t even smile when his friend jumped about a mile up in the air, startled and when he turned around with a jolt.
“What are you doing here?” Brian asked astonished.
“I asked you first.”
“I’m going home,” Brian told him, almost inaudible over the sound of his useless attempt to start the car again. “The hell is wrong with this thing?”
“I think it would go way better if you used the keys you can’t hotwire my convertible,” Nick answered, not amused. “You can’t go home.”
“Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do,” his friend hissed suddenly.
Nick nodded slowly, taking a few steps closer. “Alright, I just want to remind you that you haven’t had your license in two years.”
“I’ll be fine,” the older man grunted.
“I just don’t want you to wreck my car, is all.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Any particular reason you don’t wanna stay?” the younger asked.
“I just wanna go home.”
“Great. Then what do I tell your parents, your son, tomorrow morning? They’re gonna be worried sick with you in that car, is that what you want?” Nick asked. Of course he knew it, but Brian’s answer surprised him.
“No! You wanna know what I want?” he rasped in a hoarse voice that echoed through the shed, “I want my hair back. And I want to remember the words to Siberia, I want to spend a day without my head feeling like it’s gonna blow up, I want to be a Backstreet Boy, basically, I want my life back, but I can’t have that, never again, so yes, I want to go home.”
“You could have that again, just don’t run away.”
“Oh come on, you know as well as I, that what we’re gonna do tomorrow, will only be more useless and painful than everything we did before.”
“I get why you’re scared, man, but you gotta…”
“I’m not scared,” Brian interrupted him harshly, “I’m just not… not naïve anymore.”
Nick sighed, then slowly retrieved the keys from his coat’s pocket. He held them in front of his friend. Brian stared at them for a moment, then looked at Nick questioningly.
“I’ll give you a choice. You can take these keys, get the hell out of here and stay home. But know when you do so, it means you’re giving up. There’s nothing they or anyone else can do anymore. You’ll go home, stay there, and eventually rot away there too. Of course, if that’s what you want, I’ll go with you.”
Brian didn’t reply for a long time. Then he brought his hands up to rub his face and closed his eyes. “Or?”
“Or you can stay here, come with me tomorrow and fight for this thing. We’ll do it together either way, and it’s going to hurt, but you’re not alone,” Nick promised. “So what do you say?”
Brian clenched his jaw as the inner war of indecision raged inside him. Nick couldn’t wait that long. They needed to get inside. They both were not dressed for the temperature outside and if Brian got sick now, than the decision would already be made and they would be heading back to Atlanta before he could say otherwise.
“What’s it gonna be Brian?” he urged. “What do you really want?”
Author's Chapter Notes:
I like this one for a change XD
Chapter End Notes:
just a small clifhanger :)
if you like, please review and thanks for reading.
if you like, please review and thanks for reading.
