Forty-three

I couldn’t sleep that night. Even after clearing things up with AJ, I was too worked up to sleep. With all of the excitement of the day on top of that night’s concert AJ was exhausted though and soon passed out next to me in bed. For a while I just stayed there and watched him sleep. He always looked so peaceful when he slept and often times watching him would put me at ease and I’d fall asleep too. Unable to relax though, I eventually got up and went into the sitting room of our suite.

Not wanting to watch television I instead opted to work. I pulled out a stack of un-catalogued pictures and booted up my computer. For an hour or so I worked on logging pictures and running queries to find out how many of each type of picture I’d already taken on the tour. Once I got tired of that though I signed onto the Internet to check my e-mail. There weren’t many e-mails there, and after responding to them all I looked at the clock wondering if anyone I knew was online. I figured that it was too late even for my West coast friends to be online, yet I turned on my IM anyway just to see. I was shocked to see that someone on my list was online, but even more shocked to see that it was Nick. I frowned at the screen wondering why he was up so late and clicked his name before typing a message.

SexyShutterbug: Can’t sleep?

SharkFood: Nope. You?

SexyShutterbug: Not really. Been working for the past hour on stuff for the book.

SharkFood: Ahh…

SexyShutterbug: What’s got you up so late?

SharkFood: You.

SexyShutterbug: Me?

SharkFood: Worried… glad you’re back though.

SexyShutterbug: I’m sorry…

SharkFood: For what?

SexyShutterbug: Worrying you… the article, everything…

SharkFood: The article wasn’t your fault and I worry because I care.

SexyShutterbug: *smiles* Thanks

SharkFood: Np… so why can’t you sleep? You okay?

SexyShutterbug: Too worked up. Can’t seem to relax. I feel better but when I close my eyes it all comes back.

SharkFood: Yeah, me too.

SexyShutterbug: How so?

SharkFood: That article messed with my head

SexyShutterbug: Keep going…

SharkFood: I hated what that bitch said about you. She had no right… but those pictures of us… well part of me sees why they thought we were together. I’m not making excuses for the article… I just kind of understand.

SexyShutterbug: Yeah me too. No one is ever going to understand the relationships that I have with you guys. The pictures just made it look bad though.

SharkFood: The kissing one…

SexyShutterbug: exactly

SharkFood: It looks like we’re a couple

SexyShutterbug: Yeah…Honey can I ask you a question?

SharkFood: Sure

SexyShutterbug: Why wouldn’t you talk to me today at the venue? You and AJ both clamed up. I talked to AJ and I know now why he closed up like that. But I don’t know why you did. I just… well I guess I need to know how the whole article affected you…

There was a long pause and I bit the end of a pen waiting for Nick’s response.

SharkFood: I closed down because there was a part of me that saw those pictures and wished that they were really what they looked like. I see you with AJ and I’m insanely jealous of what you two have and how you’re so happy and in love. Yet I’m alone. And the reason why I didn’t talk is because I felt like it was AJ’s "job" to be there for you, not mine. I’m always here for you Kel, but when he’s there I stand back. But when he didn’t go after you… I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go after you so bad but I just didn’t because I wanted you and AJ to deal with it first.

SexyShutterbug: I don’t know what to say, Nicky. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this is so hard on you and I’m causing you so much pain. You know that I never want to hurt you right?

SharkFood: You don’t have to apologize. Like I said before, I do it because I care. If you weren’t so important to me I wouldn’t care so much and it wouldn’t hurt. And if I had to choose between not caring so that I didn’t hurt, or having you around to care about… I’d choose having you in my life every time.

I closed my eyes after reading his message and then heard another come through.

SharkFood: Stop crying…

I smiled.

SexyShutterbug: I can’t

SharkFood: I didn’t want you to cry… but I promised to tell you the truth no matter what it was. I’m not going to fuck up that rule anymore.

SexyShutterbug: Thank you, Nicky

SharkFood: You’re welcome. Still crying?

SexyShutterbug: Yes

SharkFood: Stop! *grin*

SexyShutterbug: I’m trying to…

SharkFood: Good…

SexyShutterbug: The sun will be rising soon…

SharkFood: Yeah I was just thinking that.

SexyShutterbug: Ever watch the sun rise over Lake Michigan?

SharkFood: Nope

SexyShutterbug: Up for it?

SharkFood: You’re kidding?

SexyShutterbug: Nope

SharkFood: It’s cold out there…

SexyShutterbug: Wuss… put on lots of warm clothes and meet me in the hall in 5 minutes.

SharkFood: Yes dear… see you in 5.

I got dressed extra warmly and scribbled a note for AJ and left it on the television in its usual spot. I grabbed my camera bag and a blanket then quietly stepped into the hall just as Nick was. I giggled at how cute he was all bundled up and grabbed his hand, "Come on…"

Ten minutes later thanks to a cab that we’d hailed from the back of the hotel Nick and I were sitting on a bench wrapped in the blanket I’d brought and were talking quietly waiting for the sun. By the time the sun raised Nick and I both started yawning and decided to go back to the hotel and finally get some sleep. Maybe it was getting things off of our chests that helped us relax, or perhaps the fact that we’d spent time together that did the trick… either way we were both much calmer by the time we made it back to the hotel and we said goodnight in the hall with a hug. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

~~~~~

"So what do you think?"

I sighed as I looked at Kevin and held AJ’s hand in mine. "I don’t know…"

"Baby, this will be good…" AJ said quietly squeezing my hand for emphasis. "At least for some people it’ll clear it all up and you’ll get them back on your side."

"But television? Can’t I just do a print interview?"

Kevin smiled, "You’ve been on television before. Hell, you’ve been on ET before… this isn’t anything new."

"I never had to defend myself before…" I mumbled quietly. "But if you think this is what I should do, then fine…"

Kevin somehow had called in a favor to someone who worked for Entertainment Tonight and had arranged for someone to fly out during our off days and interview me to clear up the rumors about me being the group’s traveling groupie. He assured me that if I had the chance to tell the story in my own words that people would listen and understand me a little better. I assured him, on the other hand, that I was going to be a nervous wreck and would probably make matters worse by talking like an idiot on national television.

"So, Kellie… what can you tell me about your relationship with the Backstreet Boys and what your purpose on this tour is?"

The interviewer Ben was new, looked younger than me, and frankly looked like he was out to catch me in a lie. I wasn’t having it. "Well, my relationship with the guys is threefold. I’m their friend. I’ve known them all since before there was such a thing called the Backstreet Boys, so I’ve always been a part of the group. I’m a photographer and I’m shooting pictures on this tour for a pictorial behind the scenes book that will be published after the tour. And, I’m AJ’s girlfriend."

"So you are dating one of the guys?"

"Yes I am…"

"And how long has this been going on?"

"Since January, so not for long. But like I said, I’ve known AJ for a very long time, he’s my best friend. Oh and before you even ask… yes I had the job before he was my boyfriend." I smirked at the look on the Ben’s face.

"You say that you’ve always been a part of the group… but suddenly the articles like the one that prompted this interview are popping up now. Why now?"

"Because I’m a girlfriend now. When I was around before I was just a friend who no one really cared about. I’ve done interviews, I’ve been part of videos an specials… I’ve even been on this show about four or five times now, but when I was known as ’AJ’s Friend’ it was a whole different story than being ’AJ’s Girlfriend.’"

"Let’s talk about Nick Carter…" he said with his own smirk.

"What about him?" I asked as my eye’s narrowed.

"How about the lip lock you two had in the article printed in the Chicago Sun-Times?"

"He’s my friend. I’m affectionate with my friends."

"Looks like more than affection to me…"

"So because I kissed Nick I’m automatically dating him?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "What if I kiss a girl who is my friend, are you going to assume that I’m all of a sudden dating her? If I kiss my parents what does that mean? Different people have different ways of showing their affection. It just so happens that I hug and kiss. AJ is my boyfriend and Nick is one of my best friends. If people are that shallow that they want to assume that I’m messing around with Nick because I kiss him, then go right ahead. I know who I am and the guys do too. That’s all that matters to me. I have a job to do, and I don’t have the time, the patience or the desire to spend my time trying to convince anyone of anything. If they can’t believe the truth, then they can think what they want. That includes you…" I took my microphone off and left the room without saying another word.

AJ was in the hall waiting for me and followed me, "Wait up… you okay?"

"Yeah… I’m just done. He pissed me off. I’m okay…"

"What did he do?" he asked as he stopped me from walking and put his hands on my shoulders.

I sighed, "He’s just like everyone else, Age… he doesn’t believe I’m more than a girlfriend tagging along for the ride either. It didn’t matter what the hell I said in there… all he cared about was trash television. I said what I needed to say, and that’s all I can do."

AJ nodded and then kissed my forehead, "That’s all you can do sometimes… it’ll be okay."

The next day we all sat in Brian’s room watching the show from Pontiac, Michigan where the next concert would be. I was a nervous mess and sat between AJ and Kevin who were more focused on keeping me calm than anything else. When the segment with our interview began I grabbed AJ’s hand in mine and watched carefully.

Mary Hart was on the screen in a really bad outfit introducing the segment, "It seems that there is controversy brewing in the world of the Backstreet Boys. A few days ago the Chicago Sun-Times published these pictures of Kellie Johnson in Chicago with the Boys. The article that accompanied the photographs stated some pretty heavy accusations about Johnson’s relationship with the members of the highly successful group. Ben Haliden met up with Johnson as well as the members of the Backstreet Boys to get their twist on this ET Exclusive…"

"Wow… you made Exclusive, Kel…" Howie smiled. I smiled back slightly and we all went back to watching the show.

The screen flashed the pictures from the newspaper again while Ben did a voice over quoting the articles ugliest points and Backstreet music filled in the background. The screen then showed Kevin sitting with Ben talking, "Kel has been a part of our lives for a very long time now. She is truly the best friend that the five of us have. She’s seen us through thick and thin, and has never given up on us even when we were ready to give up on ourselves…"

Nick then showed up on the screen with Brian at his side, "Sure I kissed her. She’s my friend, I kiss all of my friends…" Nick then cheesed into the camera and planted a kiss on Brian.

Howie was next and he smiled at Ben while he spoke, "Kel? Oh yeah she’s great. Trust me, anyone who can put up with the five of us for so long is a very special person. I’d say that if anyone could hold the title of being the Sixth Backstreet Boy… it would have to be Kel. Even though she’s a girl…"

AJ’s face appeared on the screen and he shrugged, "I love her. She’s my best friend, and I love her more than anything in my life. What else is there to say?"

The segment then went on to show some of my interview with Ben, "I know who I am and the guys do too. That’s all that matters to me. I have a job to do, and I don’t have the time, the patience or the desire to spend my time trying to convince anyone of anything. If they can’t believe the truth, then they can think what they want."

The screen flashed images of me taking photos of the guys and then Ben was shown in the lobby of our hotel, "After meeting with Kellie and the Backstreet Boys I decided to do a little of my own research…" Ben went on to do a voice over as a montage of Backstreet footage from both Entertainment Tonight as well as other public appearances where I made an appearance was shown. "I have to say that it looks like everything that Johnson and her Backstreet friends said is true. Not only did we find clips of her appearing on our own show, but also on several other shows as well. As for her current job as the tour photographer, that too panned out. Sources with the Backstreet Boys management team verified that Johnson truly is employed as the tour photographer for the group. In fact, every past employer that I spoke to about her stated what a wonderful job she did and recommended her highly. It seems to me that the pictures as well as the article printed in the Chicago Sun-Times, were unfounded. Sources at the Sun-Times were not responsive to our requests for a statement."

Mary Hart and Ben were shown sitting in the Entertainment Tonight studios and Mary looked at Ben, "It’s pretty clear to me just by looking at your piece that the Backstreet Boys all care about Miss Johnson pretty deeply."

"Yes it is…" Ben said nodding. "It’s a shame that an article like this one had to come out like it did. It wasn’t hard for us to find out the information about Kellie and her long-standing relationship with the Backstreet Boys as well as her reputation in New York as a photographer. As for the Backstreet Boys, they simply didn’t have anything bad to say about her what so ever."

"Well I hope that hearing their side of things will help out the tough situation that they’ve all been going through in the past few days… It‘s official ladies, one more Backstreet Boy is taken."

We all let out a collective sigh of relief as the show went to commercial and we stared at the television. "Wow…" I said quietly.

"Yeah…" AJ said and squeezed my hand in his.

"That was so much better than I thought it was going to be. I really thought he was going to slaughter me by the way that he was drilling me for dirt..."

"It’s hard to slaughter someone when you can’t find the dirt… He may have tried to get you to break, but it wouldn’t have meant anything if he didn’t have something to back it up." Kevin said as the rest of the guys nodded in agreement. "But apparently he couldn’t find anything, which of course isn’t a shock to all of us. Your past employers have been happy, and our management wasn’t about to deny the fact that you’re on staff for us. You’re just of as good of a person as we all know you are… they couldn’t slaughter you and have it be true."

I nodded, "Well thank goodness for ET wanting to report the truth for once…"

Brian laughed and we all looked at him, "How long y’all wanna bet it takes until a rumor is started about Nick kissing me?"