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Suheera pulled into the driveway, her hands shaking and muscles tense.

“That was very good, sweetheart! But I think you’ve had enough for today, ok?” He took a deep breath and released his hold on the arm rest, his knuckles showing white. This was the sixth driving lesson he’d given her, and although she was a fast learner, she’d had little exposure to driving, even as a passenger.

“Am I doing it right?” she asked, her voice trembling.

“You’re doing great,” he assured her. “You’ll have the hang of it in no time at all.” He wished he felt as optimistic as he sounded. Suheera had been trying very hard, but some things just didn’t come easily to her and driving was one of those things.

“I hope you are right,” she said, climbing slowly from the driver’s seat. “I do not feel very confident.”

Three months had gone by since she’d first arrived in America, and the culture shock was slow to wear off. Suheera had her own cell phone and debit card, a car to drive once she’d gotten her license, but she didn’t venture out of the house much. Howie took her out when he was home, but his schedule kept him busy and Suheera found herself alone more than she liked. She was learning American recipes, but still leaned towards cooking those things that she was familiar with. Howie didn’t mind, he loved food of all kinds.

He took her hand and led her inside; they spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing poolside. She felt uncomfortable showing any part of her body, and in a city where less is more, finding a suit that was acceptable was impossible. Howie finally found a website specializing in bathing attire for Muslim women and ordered her a suit that left only her feet and hands bare. He thought it a shame to cover such a body, but he respected her decision to stay true to her religion.

Suheera was overwhelmed with the differences in their cultures; Howie too was feeling the strain. Her ways were as odd to him as his were to her, but they tried their best to be sensitive and understanding. Howie yearned to touch her, to make love to her like they had done that night in Baghdad, but so far Suheera had only let him kiss her goodnight. She covered her magnificent body with layers of clothing, hid her glorious hair beneath silk hijabs, but at least she didn’t cover her face around him.

Howie was surprised at dinner when Suheera appeared wearing a long tunic and pants. She had been wearing long, flowing kaftans, with full sleeves and high necks. The tunic was beautifully embroidered in gold thread, with a slight scoop neckline and elbow length sleeves.

“You look amazing,” Howie said, giving her a hug. He was happy to see her hair uncovered as well, the shining length fell to the middle of her back. He yearned to stroke it but resisted, knowing that it might offend her.

“Thank you,” she blushed. “I thought it time to try a little more western style dress. I am sure you are tired of my old fashioned clothing.”

“Suheera, you wear whatever makes you comfortable.” He dished up their food; it was his turn to cook dinner, one of his rare nights off.

“I…wanted to ask you a favor,” she said hesitantly as she gathered their dishes after the meal. “I discovered that there is a mosque not too far from your home. I would like to attend, if that is ok with you?”

He reached out and took her hand. “I don’t want to keep you from your faith. Of course you may go; you don’t have to ask me first. I’m not your master, you do as you please.”

“I did not want to offend you.”

“Would it offend you if I went to my church?” Suheera shook her head. “There is nothing that you could do that would offend me, sweetheart. I worry about offending you though, I know little about your culture. Women are treated so differently than what I’m used to, I’m afraid I will say or do the wrong thing.”

“You have treated me with the utmost respect and consideration since we met,” she said softly. “I appreciate so much everything that you have done for me.” She pulled him to his feet, and then entwined her arms around his neck.

“It’s been my pleasure,” he said, his voice thick with desire. This was the first time she had initiated any intimate contact between them. He kissed her gently, then with more insistence. Suheera returned the kiss, running her fingers through his hair.

With a small groan, he finally gave in to the temptation of her hair. It was just as soft as he imagined it to be, thick and heavy and silky to the touch. His lips moved to her neck, the velvet skin held the lightest fragrance of fruit; it tickled his senses and left him reeling.

Suheera felt as if her heart would jump out of her chest it was beating so hard. Howie’s kisses trailed down her exposed neck; she felt his fingertips pressing lightly into her back, stroking her hair. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensations washing over her. With a sigh she pushed him away.

“We must not continue,” she whispered with regret. Seeing the hurt in his eyes, she tried to explain. “It is not that I do not want you – but we are not married.”

“Then marry me, Suheera. I’ve asked three times already but you never give me an answer.”

“You paid Naseem a great deal of money for me, but I am not ready,” Suheera said, her eyes downcast. “We do not know each other well enough yet, Howie.”

“I didn’t buy you, Suheera. You are not my property; you can marry whom you wish.” He turned away from her, not wanting her to see the pain in his heart. “You want a Muslim as a husband. Now it doesn’t matter as much if you’re not a virgin.”

Suheera cringed at the accusation in his voice. “That is partly true. An orthodox Muslim would not consider me for marriage, but others in the faith would,” she admitted. “I now have options that I did not have before. But I promised that I would marry you, so I will keep my promise, when I am ready.”

“I won’t hold you to that promise, Suheera. You obviously don’t want to marry me.”

“I never said that,” she said. She reached out to touch him but he flinched away, the nearness of her only fueled the passion he was feeling. He was afraid if she touched him he would lose all control. “I am afraid that our feelings for each other are based on our situation in Iraq, and what happened in Baghdad.”

“I don’t know about you, Suheera, but I know what love feels like and I love you.” He turned and walked out of the kitchen, pausing in the doorway. “I’ll give you time to decide what you want…but I won’t wait forever.”

With tears running down her face, Suheera washed the dishes and put them away. The evening had not gone as she planned. She loved Howie, she was sure of that, but she wasn’t sure that she could give up completely her old way of life so that she could be a woman he would be proud to be with.

The day before they’d gone to the beach, walking along the sand while the wavelets tickled their toes. It was her first time to play in the ocean, she’d marveled at the vast expanse of blue. As it was an extremely hot and windy day, she’d worn a lightweight kaftan. But she’d made a bad choice of fabric; it stuck to her sweaty skin as the wind blew around her.

Suheera tried not to stare at the women around her; they were practically naked, their private parts covered only with tiny triangles of fabric held together with strings. Men openly stared at them; she’d seen the lust in their eyes. And she’d seen the appreciation in Howie’s eyes as well; he hadn’t been immune to them either.

In her society, it was a sign of respect to cover yourself. Only a woman’s husband was allowed to bask in her beauty, her body was for his eyes only. Yet these women thoroughly enjoyed displaying themselves to any man who cared to look.

But the men looked at her as well; she was unaware of the appealing sight she made when the kaftan clung to her generous curves. She pretended not to notice the admiring glances, but to her consternation, she’d liked their attention. All her life she’d been hidden away, told she was too ugly for any man to ever want, but the men’s eyes told her differently. Howie wanted her, she could see that quite plainly, but she’d written that off to puppy love – she’d rescued him from certain death and he was grateful to her, nothing more.

Suheera felt a great confusion. She wanted to fit in but her conservative Islamic upbringing prevented her from embracing the western values that she knew Howie admired, and expected her to adopt. She didn’t know if she could, she didn’t want to disappoint him.

Turning off the kitchen light, Suheera headed for her bedroom. She heard the water running in Howie’s bathroom; she could imagine him standing naked in the shower. The image of his body was burned into her memory, every night she dreamed of him making love to her. With a sigh she entered her own room and closed the door.

Howie was indeed in the shower, the water cold enough to quell the passion that he’d had to hold in check. Suheera’s reaction to his advances puzzled him; he’d thought that she wanted him. She had seduced him in Baghdad, drugged him even. Like he’d have to be drugged to want her, she was the most gorgeous woman he’d ever set eyes on.

As he lay in bed, he wondered if she had indeed used him just to get into the United States. He hadn’t thought so before, but now he was not so sure. He wasn’t legally responsible for her; he had only promised her friends that he would take care of her, which he was doing. Soon she would be capable of fending for herself, if that was what she wanted.

The thought of her leaving broke his heart, no matter what she said he knew he was deeply in love with her. Even his last relationship, which had lasted six years, hadn’t felt like this. He couldn’t go an hour without thinking about her; his dreams were filled with her luscious body. With a groan, he rolled over and closed his eyes, knowing that sleep would be hard to find this night.