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Chapter 31

I woke up completely bewildered about how much time had passed and exactly where I was. My eyes slowly adjusted to being open and I looked around for Aj. He wasn’t in bed anymore but with a little effort I managed to locate him. He had opened the window wall the slightest crack and was standing there, looking out over the beach. As my sight cleared I saw tears on his cheeks and my heart broke. How could I possibly make things better for him?

“Hey, you’re awake” Aj said snapping out of whatever reality he had been swimming in. He wiped his eyes discreetly on his sweater and I looked away, pretending not to see

“How long was I out for?” I asked through a yawn as Aj rushed over to help me sit up a little

“You slept a solid twelve hours or so. Did you have any dreams?” Aj asked sweeping my hair from my face

“No, I didn’t actually. Thank you for encouraging me to take those pills. I think my body really needed that rest” I said stretching a little and wincing as my sore ribs complained

“Thank you for taking them. I know you didn’t really want to” Aj said kissing me softly on the forehead “It’s about noon, are you hungry?”

“A little” I admitted

“I’m all over it” I heard from the door and Mollee came marching in with a platter of eggs, toast, fruit and nuts followed by Nick who was holding orange, cranberry and grape juices

“This is a lot of food” I acknowledged as Mollee set up a tray around me so I could eat

“I wasn’t sure what you wanted so I made everything I could find. You really need to go food shopping” Mollee said shooting the last bit towards Aj who shrugged

“I haven’t had the time yet” He answered. I looked at Aj who looked so sad and weary and then to Mollee who was putting on the act of her life pretending she wasn’t devastated as she nervously presented me with enough food to feed a small army.

“Hey Nick” I said taking a bite of my bread “Have you seen Mollee cry today?”

“Just now” Nick answered honestly and Mollee shot him a look

“It was nothing, I just got overwhelmed for a second but I’m fine” She exclaimed ringing her hands

“Hey Nick” I started again “Guess who else was upset this morning?”

“Aj?” Nick offered with a tiny smirk that I returned

“Why shouldn’t I be?” Aj asked defensively

“Hey now, I’m not criticizing anyone, I’m just observing. Nick, did you have any plans to cheer up my sister?” I asked and Nick sighed before sitting on the end of my bed

“I was going to take her out shopping for Christmas decorations. This house is cool and all but it’s more suited to Halloween than Christmas” Nick explained “How are you feeling by the way. You seem happier. You still look like crap though”

“Thanks, jerk” I said throwing a pillow at him which he caught with a small laugh “Your plan is good but can I suggest a counter offer?”

“Go for it” Nick said with a glance at Mollee and Aj who seemed completely at a loss

“How about you make a list and give it to Mollee, and then Aj will take her out to get everything so you can stay here with me?” I said and was met with immediate debate

“I really don’t want to leave you alone” Aj started

“I wouldn’t be alone, Nick would be here” I answered calmly

“Kat, I’m fine, I really don’t need to get Christmas decorations. We were just trying to think of something to do for the holidays but it’s more important that I be here for you to help you feel better” Mollee said in one breath while wringing her hands. Her being so nervous and, in all honesty, acting a lot like me, was raising alarms in my head. Something had to be done

“Molls what makes me feel better than to see the people I love feeling good? You and Aj have been stuck jumping at my every beck and call since everything went down almost a week ago. You deserve a break, even if it’s just a break from looking at all this” I said motioning to my face

“It’s not that bad” Mollee scolded

“Nick?” I asked simply

“It’s kind of like a Monet. If he had been really drunk and only allowed to use crayons” Nick joked and Mollee shot him a death stare “What, it’s true!”

“She doesn’t need to hear jokes like that” Mollee defended

“On the contrary, that’s exactly what I need to hear. I need to get back to my life and if that means sarcasm from one Nick Carter then I will happily listen to his shit all day. And in fact that is the plan” I said chewing on a piece of toast

“What if something happens and you get hurt?” Aj asked quickly, looking to poke holes in a plan that was fast becoming something I would stubbornly insist upon

“Nick, can you dial 911?” I asked pointedly

“I think so” He joked

“What if you need medicine?” Mollee asked desperately

“Nick, can you locate medication?” I asked again, enjoying the joke more than I had enjoyed most things in the past five days

“Found some!” Nick said picking up the sleeping pills on Aj’s night stand. Aj and Mollee exchanged helpless looks and I dropped the attitude for a moment to reason with them

“Guys, we all need some time to just breathe. I love you both and the thing that would make me most happy is to know you two weren’t dying inside. I need the people I love to be happy so I need you two to go see the sun and do something that’s not strictly related to me. I don’t care as much about Nick so I don’t mind keeping him here to suffer” I added for good measure

“Bitch” Nick said stealing a piece of fruit and munching on it

“Please?” I pleaded to Aj, knowing my easiest target “Take this medicine for me?”

“You are impossible” Aj said with a sigh after a moment “We are not going to be gone long and I refuse to enjoy a minute of it”

“That’s my boy. Mollee?” I asked already having my mood soar in response to Aj’s slight joke. It was the most human thing I’d gotten from him that wasn’t sorrow since the event

“You are the most annoying sister in the world” She said giving me a kiss on the head “You will pay for this”

“I’d offer to do the dishes but, you know, mashed ribs and all” I offered and she smirked

“How long are you going to milk that excuse?” She joked stretching “Alright, I’m going to get changed and then we can go”

“I’ll go write the list” Nick said scampering off

“Are you sure this is what you want? I really don’t mind staying with you” Aj whispered to me once we were alone

“Go and enjoy your town. I promise it’ll make things feel better. I’m safe and looked after, go relax for a few hours” I said putting my good hand on his cheek

“The things I do for you” He whispered leaning into my hand and my heart stuttered recklessly. He hopped out of bed and I watched him change into a button down black shirt and some faded skinny jeans before Nick and Mollee burst back in

“I’ve got the list” Mollee said holding up a piece of paper

“I’ve got the keys” Aj said grabbing them from the bedside table before slipping on his shoes

“I love you guys” I said giving them a wave so they would leave. Finally, after many parting glances, Nick and I were alone. We waited in silence before hearing the front door slam and the car start up before letting out a big sigh

“Alright” Nick said starting to unbutton his shirt “We only have a few minutes to do this before they come back and catch us”

“Nick Carter!” I squealed as he jumped next to me and pretended to kiss me like a dog with a slobbery licks and everything “I’m injured! Be nice to me!”

“You are such a mood killer” Nick said with a huge grin rolling off of the bed with a laugh “If you don’t want to make out then what did you need me here for?”

“Because I knew you would treat me like nothing happened and I kind of need that right now. Thanks, by the way. For, you know everything” I said moving my food carefully to the side.

“That is what I’m here for. I like you, you know?” Nick said pulling a chair up next to the bed

“Well I appreciate that you probably had more exciting ideas of what you might do with your tour break then follow my sister around as she pretends not to be devastated for my sake” I said looking down a little

“Hey. I’m here because one of my best friends was in need. You would have done the same” Nick said mussing my hair a little “And Mollee is going to be ok, you don’t have to waste time worrying about her”

“Easier said than done” I sighed

“Well, try harder you big loser” Nick said pressing the button so the window wall opened and the sun poured in “As your friend I have to tell you something”

“What is it?” I asked gazing at the beautiful beach view

“You really should shower” Nick said and I rolled my eyes at him

“I can hardly stand, how am I going to shower?” I asked

“Take a bath then” Nick said simply

“Oh, are you going to help me?” I asked

“Sure. We’ll figure something out that won’t get us into trouble” Nick said grabbing my wheel chair from the hall and rolling it to my bedside “Your chariot waits”

“First you try to make out with me then you’re trying to watch me bathe. I’m starting to wonder about your intensions” I joked easing myself out of the blankets

“Well you’ve cock blocked me for a while with your sister so I have to get my thrills somewhere” Nick joked back giving me his arm so I could maneuver into the chair

“Please don’t talk about you and my sister having the sex” I said shaking my head a little

“What, do you think we just sit and stare at each other at night?” Nick said

“Occasionally you hold hands. But not for too long” I said stubbornly and Nick laughed

“Whatever you say” Nick wheeled me into Aj’s bathroom which had a huge gothic clawed bathtub. He started the water for me and then searched under the sink “Apricot Freesia or Gardenia Cybilla?”

“Excuse me?”

“What type of soap? Don’t give me that look, he’s your boyfriend” Nick said holding up two bottles

“The apricot one I guess?” I said with a shrug and Nick poured some in the water. Soon the bath was filled with bubbles and warm water “So genius, how are we going to work this?”

“I’ll help you stand and then you can lean on me to take off your clothes. I’ll close my eyes but give you my arms so you can get in” Nick said like this was an ordinary thing

“Who are you?” I teased putting my hand over his eyes and starting to execute our plan. It took about ten minutes and I giggled like an idiot the whole time but eventually I managed to get in the tub and cover up with bubbles “Ok, all is safe”

“Alright, turn around so I can wash your hair” Nick said grabbing some shampoo of the same scent group as the soap

“Have you done this before?” I asked, completely shocked at Nick’s superior handling of this situation

“I do have sisters you know” He said grabbing a cup from the sink and carefully filling it with warm water “Close your eyes, I don’t want you to get soap in them”

“You know, if I had any doubts before that you were the only person I’d want my sister with, you are thoroughly erasing them right now” I said as he massaged shampoo into my hair and then began rinsing it out

“Yeah well, I’d really impress you with the things I do for your sister but you’ve forbidden that topic of conversation”

“Gross” I said as Nick moved on to the conditioner. In spite of everything Nick was completely right about my needing a bath. As far as my cleanliness I hadn’t actually completely washed since we boarded that plane to the US seeing as the hospital only provided the option for sponge baths. The big realization was that I needed this for my sanity. It was almost like a layer of what had happened was being rinsed off and by the time I stepped out of the bath (to a close-eyed Nick holding out a towel in one hand and my arm in the other to help my balance) I was feeling like a completely different person

“Would you like me to dry your hair?” Nick asked once I had secured the towel around me and found my way back to the wheel chair

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. But if you tell the other guys that I did this for you there will be some serious payback” Nick said with a smirk as he began to rummage for a hair dryer. I did have to correct his technique a bit but after a while Nick got the hang of drying thick, curly hair so it came out more or less straight. He sat on the vanity and chatted as I put a little makeup on, doing minor cover up on the bruises but giving up fairly quickly as there is only so much makeup can really do. When I was done we found a comfy pair of sweatpants but Nick picked out a nice royal blue sweater which he insisted would make me feel like I was a little dressed and therefore not a complete invalid. When I went to wheel myself back to Aj’s room he stopped me

“If you want me to hang out with you while you lie down so you are comfortable we’ll have to find a different place. I’m not lying down on Aj’s bed. Who knows what has gone on there” Nick said with a look of disgust and I giggled

“Ok. Let’s go to my room. I haven’t had a chance to hang out there at all” I said happily. Nick took control of the chair and got me through the door and reclining in bed with pillows in all the right places

“I have an idea. Will you be ok for a few minutes if I run downstairs?” Nick asked with the first sign of panic I had seen from him regarding my sanity

“Yeah I’ll be fine. Can you just throw open the window for me? I would love some fresh air and sunshine” I said. Nick did as I asked and then disappeared for a few minutes. When he came back he got to work on the TV screen opposite my bed “What are you doing?”

“I’m hooking up the Xbox. I’m going to school you in every game available” Nick said with a smirk

“I may be injured but I’m not dead. Good luck with that” I retorted with a smile. And so the day went on with Nick and I taking each other on in every game we could find. After the fifth or sixth game (it was hard to keep track) I began losing every match we played as my eyes began to close without my wanting them to

“Ok, it seems we have thoroughly worn you out” Nick said putting down his controller to watch me yawn

“I’m fine” I lied tiredly

“Acting is not your strong suit” Nick said grabbing my controller and putting it aside with his. I watched him turn off the TV and close the blinds to darken the room before coming over to help me get comfortable lying down. When he was satisfied that the room was suited for sleeping he flopped on his back next to me and turned his head to meet my eyes in the semi darkness

“I don’t want to go to sleep” I whispered to him. A shot of terror raced through me, starting at my core and working its way up through my body until it pinged in my head. Already it felt like my lungs were ceasing to inflate all the way as I contemplated seeing Rich again after almost 24 hours without him in my head

“I can get your pills if you think it would be easier” Nick said mistaking my panic for insomnia

“No, I don’t want to use them for naps. I’m tired, I can sleep, I just don’t want to” I said bashfully

“Why not?” Nick asked brushing my hair away from my face gently

“Every time I close my eyes he’s there waiting for me” I said after a moment, embarrassment flooding my cheeks red in my signature blush

“I see” Nick said seriously “Is it always the same thing? Always what actually happened?”

“Yeah. He’s just waiting there for me to wake up again in the car and then I go through it over and over” I said quietly. The fear and panic in my belly unfurled its wings and began to expand

“Shh” Nick said seeing some sign of the overwhelming fear I was feeling in my eyes “You are my Amazon warrior and that is nothing to laugh about. There’s a good reason you are the only one I consider an Amazon”

“What’s that?” I asked breathlessly, trying to hold myself together

“What do you know about Amazons?” Nick asked taking my hand and rubbing calming circles into it

“Not much. Just that they were an entirely female brigade of brutal warriors from mythology” I said recalling some long ago history lesson

“That’s only scratching the surface. Did you know a good number of the Amazons were orphans?” Nick asked and I shook my head “It was common practice back in the Amazon’s day to abandon girl babies on hillsides. The Amazons would roam the hillsides around towns where this was common to find these children and raise them as warriors”

“So I’m an Amazon because I’m an orphan. Thanks Nick” I said with sarcasm

“I’m not going to tell you the rest of the stories if you are going to be sassy” Nick said with a sideways glance at me. I laughed a little and felt some of my tension ease away

“My apologies, continue oh master of mythology” I said closing my eyes to better focus on the sound of Nick’s voice. He took a deep breath and began to spin a story my imagination could take hold of.

“These women were known as the greatest warriors around. They were trained in every weapon and were known to be especially brutal in one on one combat. In war, the generals would wear their hair down and blowing so their soldiers could look and see it as a flag to keep them inspired. But they weren’t just fighters. Amazons were known for their intelligence and their heart. There is a story of one pair of Amazon sisters in particular that always makes me think of you and Mollee. One day when the sisters were hunting, one accidentally shot and killed the other. She was so upset that she wanted to die herself to be with her sister but she knew it wouldn’t be honorable take her own life. So she went down to fight with Troy and took out a slew of enemy soldiers on her way out. All the way to her last breath, even though she was so filled with grief, this Amazon Queen fought more brilliantly than any of the prized soldiers around her

“There was one day in Tampa after you and Aj had imploded and I remember you dancing. There you were, alone in the studio, dancing with your hair down and in such a real state of grief. Watching you, all I could think of was those Amazon warriors, those women with sharp minds who fought with bravery, skill and honor, and who felt loss deeply but were never conquered by it. They used it to bring themselves victory”

“Hey Nick” I said after a moment of silence

“Yeah”

“That’s probably one of the coolest things anyone has ever told me” I said with a small smile, peeking out below one tired eyelid up at him “Thanks”

“It’s the truth. So when you fall asleep I want you to look that bastard straight in the eye and I want you to remember that you are the ultimate warrior. He threw everything he had at you and look at you. You made it through. You are alive and you are you and he will never be able to hurt you again. So when you see him in your dream you tell him ‘I am an Amazon and you did not defeat me’” Nick said with strength

“Say it again” I whispered feeling sleep begin to overtake me

“You are an Amazon and he will not defeat you” Nick repeated. He said it a few more times but how many exactly I can’t be sure as I fell into a deep sleep.