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** HOWIE **

“Howie?”

“Huh?” I sat straight up and stared fruitlessly into the darkness. “Who’s there?”

“It’s me.”

“Kevin?” The room was pitch black and I swung my arm out in a blind attempt to locate the bedside lamp. I didn’t even know what time it was.

“Are you awake?”

“I’m talking to you aren’t I?” My frustration was rising by the second, both at my inability to find the lamp and at Lauren and Nick’s inane decorating choices. Who in their right mind hung black-out curtains in a guest room?

“I need you to come with me.”

“What?” I finally located the lamp and pulled frantically at the string. Soft light flooded the room and I blinked rapidly to clear my vision. Kevin was standing at the foot of the bed, staring down at me with a forlorn expression. His despondent behaviour totally screamed cheesy horror film. “Where are you going?”

“To see Nick.”

“What?” I wrestled with the duvet and pulled my phone off of the nightstand to check the time. “It’s five o’clock in the morning.”

“I know. Detective Eaton just called me. He wants me to come down and identify the body before it gets too crazy at the coroner’s office. Apparently, they have been having a few issues with the media.”

“He wants you to go now?” My brain was still fuzzy with sleep; it was hard to think. “And you want me to come with you?”

“That’s right.” Kevin’s eyes were pleading. “Two of us have to go.”

My heart beat increased as I took in Kevin’s mournful expression. If he was admitting to needing help, he was really hurting. “Will the police even let me in?”

Kevin nodded. “Detective Eaton said that I could bring one of you with me.”

“Did Brian say ‘no’?” I pushed the blankets away from my body and swung my feet to the floor.

“No.” Kevin looked slightly offended by my question. “I didn’t even ask him.”

“You didn’t?” I stopped halfway to the adjoining bathroom and turned to stare at Kevin in surprise. “You asked me first?”

Kevin nodded again. “Does this mean that you’re going to come with me?”

“Yeah.” I ran a nervous hand through my hair and sighed. “Just let me take a quick shower.”

Fifteen minutes later, Kevin and I were on our way to the coroner’s office. The silence enveloped us like a blanket, both of us lost in our own thoughts as Kevin navigated the rental car through the nearly deserted downtown streets. My stomach churned and my eyelids felt like they weighed upwards of a thousand pounds. I had spent the better part of the night on the phone with Leigh pouring out my sorrows in a series of unintelligible sobs at the long-distance rate of eight cents per minute. Brian’s short but poignant message for the website had been the trigger; those six simple words had been enough to push me over the edge. For the first time since losing my sister, I had cried myself to sleep. Leigh had stayed on the line with me the entire time, listening to me bewail my inability to save Nick before it was too late. Her soft, soothing voice had eventually enabled me to drift into a fitful sleep. My dreams had been plagued by images of Nick’s smiling face.

“Do you want coffee?”

“Coffee?” The word fell out of my mouth as if it were a foreign concept.

“Yeah, coffee.” Kevin repeated. “You look exhausted.”

“I had a rough night.” I rubbed absently at my heavy eyes. “Coffee might be a good idea.”

“I heard you.” Kevin admitted, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Talking to Leigh last night.”

I turned my face to the window in embarrassment. What Kevin really meant was that he had heard me blubbering like a baby into my pillow. “Sorry.”

“You’re sorry for what?” There was a hint of anger in Kevin’s words. “For crying over Nick? There’s no shame in being upset, Howie.”

“I know that.” I kept my face glued to the window as Kevin swung the car into a Dunkin Donuts drive through. “You know how I am …”

“I know that you like to keep things bottled up.” Kevin paused mid-accusation to give our order to the woman manning the drive through. He waited until we had collected our coffee before he continued. “You don’t always need to be the one who holds things together. You don’t need to stay strong for our benefit.”

I took a sip of coffee and ran the tip of my finger along the outer edge of the lid. “Someone needs to be strong.”

“Not in this situation.” Kevin shook his head. “Kristin called me out for trying to go at this alone and I realized that she’s right; we can’t be afraid to ask each other for help.”

“Is that why you asked me to come with you?” I took another sip of coffee and waited for Kevin to respond.

“This is going to be one of the hardest, if not THE hardest, thing that I’ve ever done in my life.” Kevin acknowledged. “I don’t have the strength to get through it alone.”

“What about Brian and AJ?” I approached the subject cautiously. “Brian, especially, seems to be pushing us away.”

“The fact that Brian is unhappy with me is my fault.” Kevin frowned. “I should have been more willing to see things from his perspective, to understand where he was coming from.”

I nodded in agreement. This was a side to Kevin that I wasn’t used to seeing. Usually it took him forever and a day to admit that he was in the wrong, if he ever admitted it at all.

“Brian and AJ are leaning on each other.” Kevin continued. “Just like they always do.”

“It’s weird isn’t it?” I muttered. “The way that the two of them gravitate towards each other without even realizing it.”

“It is weird.” Kevin snorted. “It’s weird but commonplace all at the same time.”

I fell silent as Kevin swung the car into a parking spot in front of a non-descript, brown bricked building. A small sign indicated that we had arrived at the Franklin Coroner’s Office. My stomach was churning once again; I didn’t know if I would be able to provide much support. I took a long pull of coffee in the hopes that it would bring me the courage that I so desperately needed and pushed open the door.

Detective Eaton was strolling towards us before my feet had even connected with the asphalt. I could see Detective Bell lurking in the distance, speaking with a short blonde woman in a white lab coat. The air was crisp and calm; the beginning of a perfect late spring day and not at all suited to the task that Kevin and I were about to perform.

“Mr. Richardson.” Detective Eaton extended his hand as he approached the car. “Thank you for agreeing to come in so early.”

“It’s fine.” Kevin’s face was set as he shook hands with the detective. “I assume that I’m here because Lauren is still nowhere to be found.”

Detective Eaton pursed his lips. “That’s right, Mr. Richardson. Ms. Kitt’s responsibilities have now defaulted to you.”

I tightened my grip on the take-out cup in my hand. Kevin’s suspicions about Lauren’s whereabouts were running through my head as I listened to him interact with Detective Eaton. The man looked so stoic and well-composed that I couldn’t help but wonder what he was hiding from us.

“It won’t take long.” Detective Eaton gave me a cursory glance as he motioned for us to follow him into the building. “It’s a simple process.”

Kevin and I exchanged a slightly terrified look as we trailed along after the detective. While I took some consolation in the fact that Kevin looked as sick as I felt, I realized the fact that we were both nervous wasn’t going to make the impending task any easier.

Detective Bell issued us both a small smile as we joined him at the door. “This is Dr. Huck.” He introduced the middle-aged woman standing next to him. “She’ll be the one conducting the autopsy after the identification has been made.”

I simply nodded in the woman’s direction, afraid that my voice wouldn’t work even if I did have something to say to her. To her credit, Dr. Huck didn’t attempt to make pleasantries. Instead, she pulled open the door to the building and silently indicated that we were expected to follow.

I kept my eyes firmly locked on Dr. Huck’s blonde bob as we trooped down a narrow hallway towards the back of the building. There were rooms on either side of the hallway, but all of the doors were firmly closed. Everything seemed overly sterile and eerily silent. The only sounds were coming from our shoes as we thumped across the sparkling tile floor.

“Which one of you is Kevin Richardson?” Dr. Huck came to a stop in front of a large, cluttered desk and picked up a piece of paper from the top of the pile. She turned to face us; her green eyes were large and kind.

“That’s me.” Kevin identified himself with a wave of his hand. He set his coffee cup down on the edge of the desk and forced himself to look pleasant. “I’d like to get this over with as soon as possible, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course.” Dr. Huck smiled. She clipped the piece of paper that she had selected from the desk onto a clipboard and motioned towards a heavy looking door to her left. “If you’ll just follow me.”

I gave Kevin what I hoped was a reassuring look and sat down in one of the chairs that lined the wall opposite the door. “I’ll be right here.”

Kevin’s smile was tight and forced as he allowed Dr. Huck to guide him through the door. Both Detective Bell and Detective Eaton followed him inside, leaving me alone in the small office. I took another sip of coffee and tried not to stare directly at the door. I could hear muffled voices coming from the other side and my right leg began to shake in anticipation. Like Kevin had said, I just wanted this to be over and done with.

No less than two minutes later, the door banged open and Detective Bell re-emerged with a grim look on his face. Kevin stumbled out after the sturdy looking man, Detective Eaton’s hand curled tightly around his upper arm. I hastily placed my coffee cup on the floor and rose from my seat. Kevin looked terrible; he was white as a sheet and he was clutching at his chest, his breathing laboured.

“What happened?” I demanded. “Kevin?”

“He needs to sit.” Detective Eaton commanded. He forced Kevin into the chair that I had just vacated and roughly pushed his head down between his knees. “Take deep breaths, Mr. Richardson. You’ll be alright in a few minutes.”

“Kevin?” My voice was painfully high-pitched. I sounded like James. “What the hell happened in there? Is it that bad?”

“Mr. Dorough, we’re going to need you to confirm the identification that Mr. Richardson just provided.” Detective Bell’s voice matched his face; grim.

“What?” I squeaked; my eyes still locked on Kevin who was struggling to regain his composure. “Why?”

“This way, Mr. Dorough.” Detective Bell placed a steady hand on my shoulder and turned me towards the room, ignoring my questions. “Your friend will be fine in a few minutes.”

I craned my neck to continue looking at Kevin as I allowed myself to be guided into the room. I was pretty sure that he was in no condition to be left alone, but the detectives seemed to think otherwise. It wasn’t until the door had swung closed that I allowed myself to face forward.

The sight that greeted me was far more terrifying than anything I could have imagined. Dr. Huck was standing on the other side of a metal table; a metal table that contained a body, a body covered in a white sheet. I swallowed hard and looked around frantically for something to hold on to, but the only thing close to me was the table and I sure as hell wasn’t about to touch it.

The sheet covering the corpse was a little off centre and I could see a small segment of skin peeking out from beneath the stark whiteness of the fabric. It was part of an arm that was showing, an arm that had a tattoo; an arm that had a tattoo that I recognized. My legs were slowly giving out. I was going to crash to the floor if I didn’t get out of the room within the next few seconds.

“Mr. Dorough, I’m going to uncover the face. When I do, all you have to do is tell me if you recognize it.” Dr. Huck spoke slowly, her voice gentle. “Do you understand?”

I nodded dumbly. My heart was in my throat as Dr. Huck raised her hands and slowly pulled the sheet away from the body. I stared down at the face in horror. My voice failed me at the same time as my legs. I could feel myself going down, but I couldn’t do anything to stop myself from stumbling backwards into the wall. Detective Bell’s strong arms caught me as I dropped; before everything went black.