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** KEVIN **

Mason’s hand was on my face; his fingers curled around my nostrils, obstructing my breathing. My mouth felt dry, probably due to the fact that I hadn’t been able to breathe through my nose for God knows how many hours. Kristin and I really needed to put an end to the whole letting the kids join us in bed in the middle of the night scenario. I gently tucked Mason’s arm down by his side and he responded by kicking his leg out into my shin. I bit my lip to keep from crying out; the rationalization that he hadn’t done it on purpose helping me to maintain my composure. Resisting the urge to wake Mason up and send him back to his own bed, I turned over and attempted to create some much needed distance between myself and my eldest son. Apparently, a king sized bed did not offer sufficient space for three.

After a few more seconds of pillow fluffing and repositioning, I finally closed my eyes and allowed my mind to wander. I still had at least four hours of blissful, only semi-interrupted sleep ahead of me. I was on the verge of drifting off when a horrendous ringing sound tore through my peaceful thoughts. Once I finally realized that the ringing was not part of a dream, my eyes snapped open. Who in their right mind would be calling me before four o’clock in the morning?

I shot my hand out in a blind attempt to locate my phone and to subsequently silence the atrocious ringing. My fingers swept across the nightstand and I heard a soft thud as my iPhone connected with the carpet. Groaning out of sheer frustration, I flipped the blankets back and lowered myself to the ground. The ringing had stopped and I blinked rapidly in an attempt to force my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I brushed my hand across the floor in a half-hearted attempt to retrieve the phone. I wasn’t really in any rush to find it. Whoever was on the other end had obviously realized that it was an ungodly hour and had gone back to sleep themselves. I was just about to give up and get back into bed when the ringing started again; the glow from the screen illuminating the cavernous space beneath the bed.

I retrieved the loud, glowing device from its landing place and glared at the screen. AJ’s stupid face stared back at me; taunting me and mocking my lack of sleep. I pulled myself to my feet, using the edge of the bed as leverage, and dismissed the call. I would take pleasure in screaming at the tattooed idiot in the morning. Right now, it was time to sleep.

Unfortunately, AJ seemed to have forgotten all concept of time. Not even ten seconds after I had dismissed the call, my phone was ringing again and his smirking face was once again testing my patience. My blood was practically bubbling in my veins as I jammed my thumb down on the screen and accepted the call. I had no idea how Kristin and Mason were continuing to sleep amidst all the noise.

“What do you want?” I hissed, wanting nothing more than to scream at AJ in frustration. “It’s practically the middle of the night!”

“Kev?” AJ’s voice was more raspy than usual. “I have something – I need to – can you talk?”

I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it in disbelief. “No, I can’t talk! It’s not even four o’clock in the morning! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Kev …” AJ definitely didn’t sound right. “…it’s on TV…”

“What?” I brought the phone back to my ear and began to make my way out of the bedroom. It was clear that AJ was going to keep talking regardless of what I said, and I didn’t see any point in disrupting my entire family. “What’s on TV? What are you talking about?”

“Nick.” AJ sounded like he was choking. “Nick’s on TV.”

I closed the bedroom door before switching on the light in the hallway. My eyes screamed in protest at the sudden invasion of brightness as I walked the well-known path towards the stairs. “Why is Nick on TV?”

“Franklin … this morning … don’t know … park … body.” AJ’s explanation came out in a disjointed mess of words and meaningless phrases. It sounded as though he was having trouble breathing.

My heart rate was picking up. I was now hurrying down the stairs towards the family room and the television. AJ was definitely upset, so upset that he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. Something was wrong, very, very wrong.

“AJ, I need you to tell me what happened.” A flurry of thoughts was running through my mind, and none of them were good. Had Nick been in an accident? Had he gone on a bender? Had he once again been in some kind of altercation with the police? “Is Nick alright? Is he in trouble?” The European leg of the tour had ended less than a month ago. It didn’t seem plausible that Nick could have gotten himself into trouble already, but over the past twenty-one years I had come to learn that anything was a possibility when it came to Nick.

“They’re saying – they’re saying …” AJ sputtered into the phone, making no attempt to mask the fact that he was crying. “They’re saying that he’s dead. The headline says that Nick is dead!”

“What?” My mouth was so dry that my tongue felt plastered to the roof of my mouth. “What headline?”

AJ attempted to take a calming breath, but he only succeeded in choking on his sobs. “Turn on CNN. They’re running the coverage. It’s all they’re talking about.”

“It’s a mistake.” I pulled the remote out from between the couch cushions where I knew that Mason had left it and waited impatiently for the television to spring to life. “Are you sure that they said Nick Carter; our Nick?”

“Of course I’m fucking sure!” AJ roared. “His fucking face is all over the report! This is really happening, Kev!”

For the briefest of moments, I found myself wondering if maybe AJ was the one who had experienced a relapse. Maybe he was flying high on some drug and he had imagined the whole thing. As painful as the thought was, I would have preferred it to what I saw as soon as I flipped the channel to CNN. My heart was pounding so loudly against the walls of my chest that I could barely hear the announcer, but it didn’t matter. I could still read the headline that was splashed across the screen: ‘Nick Carter found dead in Tennessee’.

“No.” I dropped the remote; not even flinching when it connected squarely with the top of my foot and skidded across the hardwood floor. “No!”

“They’re saying that he was shot!” AJ was practically screaming into the phone. “He was shot in the chest and dumped in some park. How could this happen? Why did nobody call us?”

AJ’s words barely registered. My eyes were darting around the screen trying to take in all of the images at once; Nick’s smiling face in the corner, the police tape, the emergency workers, the solemn face of the lead investigator, the word ‘murdered’.

“Kev! Kev! Are you listening to me?” AJ was becoming increasingly frantic. “Nobody called us! How is that possible? Nobody called us!”

I shook my head and forced myself to stop looking at the news coverage. “Who would have called us?”

“What?” AJ sounded furious now. “Anyone could have called us; Lauren, Jane, Aaron, anyone!”

“Lauren!” I literally shouted her name, my voice bouncing off of the walls. “Have you talked to Lauren? Was she with him? Is she okay? Does she even know what the media is claiming?”

“I didn’t even think to try and call her.” AJ admitted. “You’re the first person that I’ve called.”

My heart swelled with affection at AJ’s comment, but the positive feeling was short lived as my eyes drifted back to the news report. “Someone needs to call Lauren. Maybe she can confirm that this whole thing is a mistake.”

“Kevin?” Kristin’s voice interrupted my train of thought. “What’s going on? Why are you watching TV at 4:00 A.M.?”

I turned around slowly to face her. Even AJ had stopped talking; he must have heard her voice in the background. His heavy breathing echoed in my ear as I took in my wife’s concerned expression. As much as I wanted to tell her not to look at the TV, I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. Just seeing her face made me want to break down; Nick was dead.

“Is that – is that Nick?” Kristin stuttered through the question, her eyes locked on the television. “Kevin, what’s happened?”

“I don’t know.” I moved the phone away from my mouth to address her. “AJ saw the coverage on TV and …” I trailed off and wiped hastily at my rapidly filling eyes. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Murdered?” Kristin read the single word that kept flashing across the screen. “Our Nick?”

All I could do was stare at Kristin in silence. I watched as she ran a hand through her dishevelled hair and absently pulled at the wrinkles that were permanently embedded in her pink pajamas. I knew from experience that the tears were not far off.

“Kevin?” AJ’s voice was back in my ear. “What are we going to do? Do you want me to call Lauren?”

“I think that’s a good …” I was cut off by the doorbell; it rung long and ominous through the darkness and stillness of the house.

Kristin’s eyes drifted anxiously towards the front of the house. “Someone’s at the door?” She sounded bewildered, disbelief contorting her features.

“AJ, hang on for a second. Someone’s at the door.” I thrust the phone into Kristin’s hands and she clumsily pulled it to her chest. Even though I knew that she wouldn’t pay me any attention, I motioned that she should wait in the family room as I strode towards the front of the house.

The doorbell rang a second time as I entered the foyer. As expected, I could hear Kristin’s bare feet slapping quietly against the tiles as she followed me down the hallway. I flipped on both the light in the foyer and the light above the front porch and stooped down to peer through the peephole. Kristin was talking hurriedly to AJ as I pulled open the door; giving him a play-by-play of what was happening.

“Kevin Richardson?”

My blood ran cold as I took in the two police officers who were standing on the front porch. They had both removed their hats, and they had each donned an appropriately remorseful expression.

“Y - Yes.” I stammered.

“Mr. Richardson, I’m Officer Debois and this is Officer Pantaleo.” The older of the two men spoke. “We’re with the NYPD.”

I nodded in understanding, not quite sure if my voice would work.

“We’re sorry to bother you so early in the morning.” Officer Debois continued. “I’m afraid that we’re here to deliver some bad news.”

“Bad news?” I cleared my throat in an attempt to hide my anxiety. “What kind of bad news?”

“We’re here on behalf of the Franklin Tennessee Police Department.” Officer Pantaleo pulled a folded sheet of paper out of his pocket as he spoke. “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but your name is listed second on a Next of Kin Contact sheet for a Mr. Nickolas Gene Carter.”

I swallowed hard. Kristin was gasping behind me and I could hear AJ letting out his own profanity-punctured gasps through the phone; Kristin must have put him on speaker. “Did something happen to Nick?”

“At this time, the Franklin Police Department is not able to locate the first person that Mr. Carter has listed as his next of kin: a Ms. Lauren Kitt.” Officer Debois picked up the conversation from where his partner had left off. “We hate to be the ones to have to tell you this, Mr. Richardson, but Mr. Carter was killed early this morning in Franklin, Tennessee.”

AJ’s voice was blasting through the phone; his strings of profanity drifting past the police officers and into the early morning stillness. Kristin was crying softly behind me, seemingly oblivious to the fact that AJ was screaming.

“Nick is dead?” I could barely get the words out. I was starting to feel light headed. Nothing made sense. Where was Lauren? Why was I listed on Nick’s Next of Kin Contact form? Why had the form been drawn up in the first place? Did Jane even know that her oldest son had been killed?

Both officers nodded solemnly. “We’re sorry for your loss, Mr. Richardson.”

“Where’s Lauren?” I felt as though I were reacting on auto pilot. I knew that I was coming across as emotionless and stone faced, but it was like my body didn’t know how else to process the information. “What happens now?”

“Like we said, Ms. Kitt’s whereabouts are currently unknown. The Franklin Police Department is doing its best to locate her.” Officer Debois paused. “If Ms. Kitt cannot be found, certain responsibilities will become yours: the official identification of the body, the handling of Mr. Carter’s estate, the coordination of any last wishes that are outlined in his will.”

“What if I decline?” I asked. The thought of having to look at Nick’s dead body churned my stomach. “What happens then?”

“If you decide that you want to step aside, and Ms. Kitt still cannot be located, than the aforementioned tasks will become the responsibility of the third person that Mr. Carter has identified.” Officer Pantaleo glanced at the paper in his hands. “Are you saying that you would like the third person to be contacted?”

“Who is it?” I was secretly praying that Nick’s third choice was one of his family members, but I had a sickening suspicion that it wasn’t. “When was that form last revised? Does it say?”

The officers exchanged a quick, undistinguishable glance before Officer Pantaleo responded. “The document was last revised on February 27, 2013. As of that date, Mr. Carter’s chosen next of kin contacts include Ms. Kitt, you, and a Mr. Brian Littrell of Alpharetta, Georgia.”

“Brian?! Jesus Christ!” AJ’s voice shot out of the phone. “What the fuck was Nick thinking? What about his fucking parents?”

Officer Debois and Officer Pantaleo exchanged another unreadable expression, both of their eyes drifting towards the phone that Kristin was now holding at her side.

“That’s our friend.” I explained, waving my hand in the direction of the phone. “He lives in Los Angeles, and he saw the news report before we did. He’s a bit upset.”

“A bit upset?” AJ continued his passion-filled rant, the speakers giving his voice a hollow, cavernous quality. “I think it’s safe to say that I’m more than a bit upset!”

Officer Pantaleo nodded in understanding, although he continued to look a bit wary. “Have you made a decision Mr. Richardson? Would you like us to inform the Alpharetta Police Department that they need to contact Mr. Littrell?”

“No.” I shook my head and rubbed roughly at my eyes. “I’ll do whatever needs to be done.”

“That’s good of you, Mr. Richardson.” Officer Debois offered me a small smile. “I know that this is a difficult time for you and your family, but you should seriously consider making your way to Tennessee as soon as possible. From the information that we’ve been given, I doubt that Ms. Kitt will be able to fulfill her responsibilities.”

“Right.” I nodded curtly at the two men as they returned their hats to their respective heads and began to back away from the front door. “Right.”

“We’ll notify the Franklin Police Department that we’ve made contact with you.” Officer Debois added as the two of them stepped onto the front walkway. “A detective from the Franklin Police will be in touch with you within the next few hours.”

I nodded again and watched as the officers retreated down the driveway. It seemed to be the only thing that I was capable of doing at the moment; nodding and looking like a heartless bastard.

“Kevin?” Kristin waited until the two men had reached their cruiser that was parked at the bottom of the driveway before she spoke. “This isn’t a mistake. Nick is really ...” She trailed off as her face crumpled and fresh tears began to snake their way down her cheeks.

I opened my arms and Kristin fell into them, burying her face in my chest. Her arms wrapped around my back, and I could still hear AJ’s voice spewing from the phone as I held on to Kristin’s shaking frame.

“What do we do, Kev?” AJ’s question was slightly muffled by Kristin’s thumb that was partially covering the speaker. “What are we going to do?”

I reached behind my back and gently pried the phone out of Kristin’s grip. I took AJ off speaker and brought the phone to my ear, still holding tightly to my wife with my other hand. “We need to call Howie and Brian.”

“Fuck!” AJ cursed again, but the tremor in his voice had returned. “I’m calling Howie. I can’t – I can’t – Brian is gonna lose it. I can’t be the one to tell him. I just can’t!”

I had been expecting the response, albeit I had been hoping that AJ would sound slightly less panic stricken. “It’s fine.” I lied. “I’ll call Brian.”

“And then what?” AJ pressed. “After we all know, then what do we do?”

“You heard the police.” I reminded him as I tightened my grip on Kristin. “I need to get on the next flight that I can find to Tennessee.”