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Chapter Fourteen

June 22, 2014


Sacramento, California

“It’s the real Josh, I’m telling you. He told me when he was in his early twenties he was actually a hacker. He wasn’t evil or anything, but he wanted to see if he could get away with it. He would send text messages through other people’s phones and when people would call the number the owner wouldn’t have any clue what they were talking about. That’s why the government was so interested in him. They actually sent him through school because of his high level of technical knowledge. It makes sense he would contact me that way.”

“Court, the guy is a fruitcake. He likes to masterbate to the magazine spread you did for People. I mean, it was a hot spread, but I’m so pissed at him that I think I might kill him if I see his face again.”

“You’re only mad because he ruined our night.”

Nick gives me a small smile over his glass of orange juice. “That too. I was going to take you past the ‘oh my God’ level.”

“There’s another level past that?”

Nick laughs. “Two, actually. I try not to get us to the top level though. We always seem to get the cops called on us.”

“We don’t.”

“You may just want to stick around and find out for yourself then.”

I don’t answer. The first thing I had seen this morning was Nick. The first thing I felt was his arms around me.

My first thought was that I could get use to this. I could love Nick.

I did love him.

In forty-eight hours I had fallen in love with him. The way he is with Ben, the way he is with me...all of it is just like I had always thought life would Brian would be. Nick digs into his eggs and I study his profile. I have to find something. Anything to de-Nick-ify myself. Anything.

“How often do you brush your teeth?”

He takes his time chewing. Before he answers, I swear he runs his tongue over his teeth. “I brush every morning after breakfast except when we’re on the road. I’m really bad at remembering to brush when we’re on tour because we are running sixteen hours of day. I’m thinking that’s probably why I get sick on the road so much actually. It’s worth it, don’t get me wrong, but my hygiene’s the pits unless you’re there and I’m exhausted all the time. When you’re there, you keep me on track. But your tour never coincides with ours so we have a lot of phone sex.”

“We do not.”

“Oh yeah we do. Somewhere there are Verizon Wireless call centers with a dedicated group of employees that work at their shitty job every day just in the hopes of stumbling across one of our conversations.”

I snort. “You’re so lame.”

“And you’re so beautiful.” He props his chin in his hand. “Seriously, Court. I love waking up to you every morning.”

“I look disgusting in the morning.”

“No, you don’t. You take my breath away.”

“Probably because my morning breath’s so bad.”

He laughs and leans towards me. “Try me.”

My attempt to be grossed out by his hygiene has failed. His chin is full of blonde scratchy stubble and he hasn’t combed his hair, but the way his eyes dance and stay on me negate anything else. I meet him halfway and kiss him lightly.

“Do I smell bacon? Ugh, don’t get kiss-spit in the bacon!”

Nick pulls away and smiles, his eyes darting towards Ben as he shuffles into the room in his baggy pajama pants. “Morning Benners.”

“Good morning,” I say as he sticks his tongue out at Nick. He collapses in the only empty chair around our small table. I nudge the plate of bacon towards him. “Sleep good?”

“Uh-huh.” He begins shoving in bacon slices faster than I have ever seen anybody eat in their entire life. Even Nick looks at him. “Is there an emergency evacuation I’m not aware of?”

Ben pauses. “Huh?”

“You’re eating like this place is going to blow up.”

Ben laughs. “I’m hungry. I need my energy if I’m gonna drive today.”

“Drive?”

Nick and Ben share a look.

“Well,” Nick pauses. “I promised Ben he could practice a little today.”

“You have your permit?”

“Yeah.”

“A California permit?”

Nick and Ben share another look.

“Well, it’s one from back home. I figure it wouldn’t be the end of the world if we found an empty parking lot and had him drive, babe.”

“And where are you going to find an empty parking lot in Sacramento?”

Ben cuts Nick off before he can answer. “Mom, c’mon. I can drive. I’ve been driving since I was fourteen.”

“What?”

“Kevin. Country roads. Totally fine. It wasn’t like we were in a crowded place where the car could rollover or something,” Nick explains. Ben nods while he stuffs a half slice of toast in his mouth. A big drop of strawberry jelly smears at the corner of his mouth.

Something in me that I’ve never felt makes me persistent. I can’t picture Ben behind the wheel of the car. His baby face is not old enough to drive. “You don’t need to be in a crowded place for rollovers to happen. Rollover accidents are directly related to a vehicle's stability in turns. That stability is influenced by the relationship between the center of gravity and the track width (distance between the left and right wheels). A high center of gravity and narrow track can make a vehicle unstable in fast turns or sharp changes of direction--increasing the odds that it will tip over once it begins to skid sideways.”

There is silence. The jelly blob actually slips from the corner of Ben’s mouth onto his chin and he still doesn’t notice it. I look at both of them, confused.

“What?”

“My brain hurts now,” Nick says.

“How do you know that?” Ben asks.

I know that I can’t tell him the truth. Nick does too. We share a look and I know he is going to leave the response to me. I sigh.

“Let’s get ready and go find that empty parking lot.”