Project: nkotBSB

By Rachel

Copyright 2012

Chapter 32

Hanna Jo

The last week has been wonderful. Jessi came clean to Nick and seems more relaxed. We have actually enjoyed ourselves and had some fun. We’ve kept off the radar by hanging back and avoiding sound checks. It’s easier that way. Plus, Jessi wants to stay out of the mix when it comes to the fans or press. I don’t blame her at all. I know I’m always looking over my shoulder to see if someone is watching us.

The concerts are amazing. Each one gets better and better. Well, Backstreet Boys. Jessi and I don’t really pay attention to New Kids on the Block. They aren’t my cup of tea. We usually take a bathroom break during their parts of the show.

Things with AJ have been awesome. He’s so not a bad boy, well maybe in the bedroom. I blush just thinking that. Believe me we aren’t having sex every night on the bus. We spend a lot of time cuddling and getting to know one another.  I’m not his girlfriend yet, and I’m okay with that. I take one day at a time, but in my heart I know I’ve fallen hard for him. My shyness keeps me in check.

I’m sitting on the couch in the dressing room watching AJ get dressed. He’s primping in the mirror, as I check my email.

“How do I look, Hanna Banana?” He asks giving me a smirk. I blush every time he uses that nickname.

“You look hotter than ever.” I walk over to him. AJ grips my waist and pulls me to his body. “I wish you would stop calling me Hanna Banana.  It was mortifying having to explain it Q today.”

 He kisses my cheek. “Oh Banana, I was proud that you were able to tell him about it.”

“He thought it was funny. It’s all your fault for telling me to pretend your penis was a banana when I gave you a blow job.” I bury my head in the crook of his neck. His smell makes me weak.

“No one else will ever know. They’ll just think it’s a cute nickname.”

“Oh sure.” I giggle, “That’s why Brian and Howie were laughing earlier when I said hello. I think Q is spreading it around.”

“Hello AJ. Hello Hanna Banana!” Brian chirps, “Five minutes until warm up. If you’re hungry there are some apples and bananas in catering, Hanna.” He runs out before I can say anything.

My face is bright red. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to being sexual. Sure I like sex a lot, but I’m still not totally comfortable with everyone knowing about it. “Sorry Han. I’ll tell the guys to cool it. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

I look up at him. “Its okay, Alex. I know it’s all in fun. I see the way you all tease each other. It makes me feel…like…part of the family.” I comment shyly. I worry that I say too much, “Come on, you need to warm up.”

Quickly we make our way to the hallway near the stage. I love listening to the guys’ voices as they prepare for the show. They are so talented. A few members of New Kids are already waiting. Jon looks bored, and Danny is flexing his muscles. Donnie walks in playing with his phone.

“Hey, Ho Jo.” Jessi says as she and Nick enter the room.

“Hello. What’s up?” We scoot over to a corner trying to stay out of the way.

“Nothing at the moment.” She whispers, “Which is a good thing.”

“It is. Even Donnie is leaving us alone. How are things with Nick?” I ask curiously. Jessi has been rather quiet about her time with him. I wish she didn’t hold back so much.

“It’s been good.” She says while watching him and Howie fool around.

Confusion shows on my face. “Just good?”

She leans against the wall and smiles. I see the twinkle in her eyes. “Okay, it’s been more than good. When we’re alone on the bus it’s like a freaking fairy tale. The sex is amazing, but it’s more than that.”

“I get it. He’s everything you want in a guy.” I sigh, thinking about AJ.

“But I can’t get involved with him. It’s not fair. He’s already in danger because of me. Ho Jo, I hate the fact that I’m risking all of your lives.” She replies seriously.

“It’s our choice. We’re all adults. Nick cares about you a lot. He’s told AJ more than once. Why can’t you just let it happen? Nick knows the risk he’s taking to be with you. It doesn’t matter to him.” Jessi gives me a hard stare. I think I’ve ticked her off. “You’ve always been my role model. I have wanted to be like you since the first time we met. You weren’t afraid to take risks, but when it comes to the thing you want most in your life you’re a chicken.”

“How dare you Hanna!” She spits at me quietly. No one is paying attention to us.

Of course I feel guilty for my outburst. She’s my best friend. “Jessi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. You have a good thing going with Nick. I just don’t want you to regret not taking a chance on something good. I think this is God’s way of showing you not all men are scum.”

She gives me a hug. “Hanna, I know you mean well, and you’re looking out for my happiness. Please just let me deal with Nick. Just enjoy your time with AJ.”

“Places in five.” The stage manager yells. Both of us look up. The guys are huddled together taking a picture.

“Can I have a good luck kiss, Hanna Banana?” AJ grins at me. I give him a modest kiss on the lips. I hate when everyone stares at us.

“Have a great show!”

Once again the show is fantastic. I never get tired of watching it. Jessi seemed lost in thought during most of the show. I am worried about her, but I won’t press the issue until she’s ready to talk.

“I’ll be back in a few. I’m heading to the bathroom.” Jessi says quickly and leaves.

I yank my phone out of my pocket and turn it on. It will be a while before AJ is done showering. I figure I can check my email, Twitter and Facebook. Nothing important in my email and Facebook was boring. When I get to Twitter I notice that Backstreet Boys retweeted a picture that Donnie posted earlier. It’s the picture from warm ups. It’s a nice picture until I realize that Jessi and I are in the background, clear as day. This is not good. I have to tell Jessi.

I find her coming out of the bathroom. “We need to talk NOW!”

“What is wrong? You look pale.” She says as we walk down that hall.

“I can’t tell you here. Someone might hear us.” I say nervously. My heart is pumping fast and I’m all shaky.

When we turn the corner of the hallway, we hear someone screaming. Jessi pops her head into the other hallway. She turns to look at me, with a finger on her mouth telling me to be quiet. “It’s Donnie.” She whispers.

“Why the fuck does it matter to you?...No. Go to hell Paul…Shut the fuck up!”  Donnie screams.

His voice alone scares me, but knowing that he is talking to his evil brother, I’m terrified. I look over at Jessi and she’s whiter than a ghost. I grab her hand and hold it tightly. 

“This is not good.” I murmur.

“It doesn’t matter who she is. It’s just a fucking picture. You’re an asshole.” Donnie is on a rampage.

It’s time to come clean to Jessi. She’s going to be angry. “Donnie posted a picture on Twitter tonight of all the guys when they were warming up. We’re in the background.”  I grab my phone and show it to her.

She quickly hands me back my phone. “Don’t worry Hanna. I’ll deal with it.” Jessi replies calmly.

“Fine. She’s just some whore that douche Carter found at one of the concerts. She’s his new tour groupie.” He pauses. I can feel Jessi’s body shaking against mine. She is trying to remain calm but it isn’t working. “Fuck you, Paul. I don’t get why you are so fucking concerned about who Nick Carter is fucking….Screw you, bastard. Back at you. Go to hell!”

“We better get out of here. Donnie is pissed and who knows what he’ll do to us.” Jessi starts running down the hall in the other direction. We’ll be safe as long as we stay away from Donnie.