Project: nkotBSB

By Rachel

Copyright 2013

Chapter 44

Hanna Jo

I didn’t get a chance to answer AJ’s question. He was whisked away by management do to press. Honestly, I didn’t want to answer the question. I love AJ but I have the feeling he doesn’t feel the same.

While I wait for AJ to return, I start gathering my belongings. Hopefully Brian will let me stay on his bus. If not, I’m going to cut my losses and go home. I can’t stay with AJ. It hurts too much.

“What are you doing?” AJ steps onto the bus.

“I’m packing.” I place some clothing into my suitcase.

“Han, don’t do this.” He takes the shirts out. “We need to talk.”

I stare at him for a long while. I don’t even know what to say. It frightened me when AJ tried to tell me what to do. It’s the one thing I can’t live with. Eighteen years was more than enough.

“I don’t have anything to say.”  I sit down on the bed and AJ is immediately by my side.

“Hanna, please don’t shut me out. We need to talk.” He brushes my cheek tenderly.

“I’ve said everything I needed to say. I won’t let anyone including you control me. We need some time apart. I think I may go back to the states.” I quickly stand up, so I can finish packing.

“In one breath you tell me you love me. In another you want to end everything. You can’t have it both ways.”

“I never said I wanted to end it with you. I think we need to take a break for a while.” I walk over to AJ and kneel in front of him. “Alex, our relationship has moved so fast. I think that is part of the problem. Maybe neither of us is ready to be in a serious relationship at this point. We both need time to figure out what we want.”

AJ takes my hand and pulls me up onto his lap. We watch each other intently. I’d like to forget what I just said and make love to AJ, but I know it isn’t the best choice.  

The ringing of my phone pulls us out of our trance. AJ grabs it. “Hello. No this is AJ. Umm…thanks. No…things are great. Hanna can’t come to the phone right now. I’ll make sure she gives you a call. A gift isn’t necessary…Aunt Patty. It was nice talking to you…I look forward to meeting you and the rest of the family.”

Why was my Aunt Patty calling? I haven’t talked to her since I went to college. After AJ ends the call he throws my phone across the room.

“Is everything okay?” I ask cautiously. From the look on his face I know something is wrong.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU TOLD YOUR FAMILY?” AJ yells at me. My body starts to shake.

“I haven’t told them anything. The last time I talked to my family was when we played truth or dare.” I am stunned that he is screaming at me.

“You’re lying. God, Hanna. Why can’t you tell me the fucking truth?” He continues to berate me. I feel like I’m twelve.

“I’m not lying. W…wh...what did my Aunt Patty say to you?” I question quietly. I’m not going to stoop to AJ’s level. I don’t want to yell and scream.

“Apparently your fucking family thinks we’re married. Why would you fabricate a story like that? I just don’t get you Hanna. I thought you were different.” AJ walks out of the bedroom, slamming the door.

I give AJ some time to cool down. His temper has gotten the best of him, and he’s not going to listen to anything I have to say. In the meantime, I finish packing my suitcase. Luckily, my phone isn’t broken.  I send a quick text to Brian. He responds quickly, and I’m thankful he’s letting me stay on his bus.

I venture out into the main room of the bus. AJ is staring out the window.  I sit down across from him. “Alex…”

“Are you using me to get back at your parents?” His asks morosely. 

 I’m taken back. “Why would you think that? I thought you knew me better than that.” I want to cry. Everything is falling apart.

“It makes perfect sense. I’m the tattooed freak, bad boy of the group. Your perfectly, strict, religious parents would cringe to see their perfect little daughter with a man like me. I’m the perfect guy to show them that you are in control of your life.”  He spits out venomously.

“It’s not like that!” I cry out. Things are going from bad to worse. I just want to go home; back to my nonexistent life. Sitting at home alone is better than being hurt by the man you love.

“Right.” AJ laughs. “I can’t believe I fell into a trap by some naïve girl. I thought you were different Hanna. You seemed genuine, but you’re a user like everyone else. Now, I know why you backed off of Littrell’s advances. Your parents would have loved you dating a straight laced guy like him.”

“When you are done with your pity party let me know.  Listen to how ridiculous you sound.” I stand up and grab my suitcase.

“Where the fuck are you going?” He quickly stands up and blocks me in.

“I’m not staying here. There is no way I’m going to let you tear me down. It hurts knowing how you really feel about me. Your temper is out of control, and you won’t listen to reason. When you get off your high horse, we can talk. Until then I’m staying with Brian. So, please move so I can leave.” I keep my emotions in check. There is no way I’m going to let AJ get the best of me.

“Yeah, so you can get your claws into another Backstreet Boy.” AJ sneers. His temper is starting to scare me.

“And he’s gay!!!!” I shout, as I try to push my way around AJ.

 AJ won’t budge. “He’s fucking bi and you know that! Brian will love to have you in his bed.” 

“I’m not a slut, Alex. There’s only one MAN’S bed I want to be in, but he’s too STUPID to listen to the one woman he’s supposed to care about.” I poke him in the chest. “Yes, I love you with all that I am. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. When you get your head out of your ass, you know where to find me. Now let me go.”

AJ slides over, so that I can maneuver my way around him. I spot Brian and Joe standing outside Brian’s bus. Slowly, I pull my suitcase across the lot. When I get to Brian, I turn around and AJ is watching. I give Brian and Joe a quick hug and step onto the bus. Everything is falling apart, and there’s nothing I can do about it.