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Project: nkotBSB

By: Dottie

Copyright 2013

 

Chapter 69

 

Jessi

 

After we leave the club, our bodyguards in tow, Nick watches me closely. I can feel him staring and I know he’s worried, but what can I do?  I can’t tell him Donnie threatened to kill him!  Now more than ever, I wonder if I really will have to give in and sleep with him.  Every part of me wishes I could go back and change the past.  All of it.

 

Once we’re in the car, Nick has his arm around me.  Bruce and Robert are in the front of the SUV.  Fans are swarming it as we wait for a break in traffic to pull out. He leans closer and whispers, “What’s wrong?” I shrug, hoping he can’t see how worried I am.  “Jessi, you can’t hide it from me, I know something’s on your mind.  Tell me.  Did something happen?”

 

I sigh, knowing he won’t give up. He’s like a dog with a bone when he wants something.  I take out my phone and hand it to him.  “Listen to the last message.”

 

When he does, he starts chuckling.  “Jessi, this is good news. Come on, for real, what’s bothering you?”

 

I swing my head around quickly. “Good news?  Him threatening to rape me and kill you is GOOD news?  What the hell is wrong with you?”

 

Bruce and Robert both look over their shoulders at my outburst.  Robert sees a break in the traffic and pulls out. Nick’s face fades from my view as we pull out into the darkness away from the street lights.  He pulls me closer to his body and mutters, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

 

I grab my phone and check the messages.  The last one…the one he heard…was from Thad saying they have enough to arrest Paul and maybe Donnie once we get back to the states.  Oh how foolish I feel.  I find the message from Donnie and hand him the phone. “THIS message, Nick.”

 

I scoot away from him as he listens.  I’ve gotten him involved in something horrible.   His lively hood…his LIFE is on the line because I didn’t fuck Donnie eleven years ago.  I hear him curse.  He turns away from me, staring out the window.  I kick off my heels and curl up on the seat letting my tears fall.  I knew it wouldn’t last.  I knew he’d get tired of the problems I’m causing.

 

When Robert stops at a traffic light, I spring into action.  I push open the car door, jump out and just start running.  I hear all three of them cursing, scrambling to come after me, but I have a pretty good head start. 

 

 

I run blindly, not really caring where I end up as long as I’m alone.  I find myself at a church.  I see the doors are open, so I run inside.  It’s dimly lit and so quiet.  I move cautiously, sitting in a pew at the back of the church, staring up at the cross that hangs above the alter.

 

I feel tears pooling in my eyes.  I lower my head and whisper, “God please help me.”

 

From somewhere close by, I hear a soft voice. “My child, are you all right?”

 

I look up.  At the end of the pew stands a priest.  He looks to be in his 60’s, his thinning hair white as snow.  I glance away. “I’m sorry I barged in. I just…I have nowhere else to go.”

 

He spreads his arms and says, “All are welcome in God’s house.”  When I don’t speak, he asks quietly, “Are you in trouble?”

 

I just nod. “Yes.  But...”

 

He smiles. “God forgives my child. It’s humans that have a hard time with it. Would you like to talk about it?”

 

I sigh.  “What good would it do?”

 

The priest sits on the pew in front of me, turning to face me.  “It may help you cope with your problems.  Find a solution.  Find happiness.”

 

I sniffle. “I found happiness.  I just can’t keep it.”

 

He reaches back, patting my shoulder.  “Now, now, don’t be so gloomy.  God didn’t mean for His children to be sad.  He will help you.”

 

I sigh. “I’m so tired.”

 

He stands, holding out his hand. “Come, child.  Let’s talk.  Maybe what you need to unburden yourself to the Lord.  Once He knows…He will find a way to help you.”

 

 

An hour later, I’m all cried out, having spilled my guts to a complete stranger.  Every disgusting detail brought to life with my words.  He listened without comment.  When I finish, he pats my hand. “Dear Child, you are not to blame for the evil those men have foisted upon you.  The sin is really and truly theirs.  The only burden of sin you carry is having an affair out of wedlock, but God will forgive you even that sin.”

 

I can’t believe how it call came pouring out of me.  “Father Christopher, I’m sorry.  I know I haven’t made the best choices, but…I love Nick. I truly do.  I’d marry him if he asked, but he won’t. How could he marry someone like me?”

 

He smiles brightly.  “My dear, he loves you as much as you love him.  That is evident.  What this other man is doing is wrong and you must not give in.  It will only strengthen the evil within him.  You must remain strong and have faith in our Lord and Savior.”

 

I nod.  “What do I do now?”

 

He pushes a phone toward me. “Call your friends. Let them know you are safe and go back to them.  Gather strength from their love and your faith in Christ.  All will be well.”

 

I stare at the phone pensively.  He’s right.  I have to have faith. AJ does.  Hanna Jo does.  Nick does.  We can get through this.

 

 

Half an hour later, a car pulls up in front of the church. I see Bruce and Robert in the front, but instead of Nick jumping out, Hanna Jo does.  She runs up to me, hugging me tightly. “Are you ok? Please, tell me you’re ok?”

 

I nod.  “I’m fine. Umm, where’s Nick?”

 

She smiles.  “Waiting at the hotel with AJ.”  Looking past my shoulder, she whispers, “Thank you.”

I turn as the priest nods. “God takes care of His children.  Bless you both.”

 

As he walks back into the church, I whisper, “Until today I wasn’t sure I believed in God, Hanna Jo.”

 

She slides her arm through mine.  “He’s there, Jessi. You just have to listen and pray. He’s always there.”

 

I nod, sliding into the car.  I look up at Bruce and Robert.  “I’m sorry.”

Bruce shrugs. “Don’t be.  You’re going through a lot.  You ok?”

 

I nod as Robert slowly accelerates.  “Yeah, thanks.  I’m fine.”

 

 

When we get to the hotel, Robert hands the valet the key and follows us into the building as Bruce leads the way.  I see Donnie in the corner of the lobby talking to fans.  I’m so tired, I don’t even care. I ignore him, heading for the elevator. 

 

As we wait for the doors to open, I hear him say, “What the hell happened to you?”

 

I turn slowly. Bruce and Robert stand close by and Hanna Jo gasps.  I ignore them.  Letting my eyes meet Donnie’s, I whisper, “I’m not afraid of you anymore!  You will NEVER get what you want.  Do your worst.  Nick loves me and I love him.  Nothing else matters!”

 

His mouth drops open.  The doors open and Hanna Jo pulls me inside, followed by our bodyguards.  Donnie charges forward, but the doors slide closed with a decisive thud.  Hanna Jo hugs me.  “I’m so PROUD of you!”

 

I lean against her, proud of myself.  The priest was right, the decision was easy.  I’m not giving in to Donnie’s demands.  I’m going to fight for Nick because I love him and he loves me.  Donnie can’t mess that up.

 

When the doors open, Nick is standing there waiting in the hallway. I push past Robert and leap into his arms.  He holds me tightly and whispers, “Don’t you ever…”

 

I nod against his neck as he carries me into our room.  Once inside, when we are alone, I whisper, “I love you Nick. I love you and I trust you and I’m sorry.”

 

He puts me on my feet and looks down at me with love in his eyes. “Sweetheart, I am not afraid of Donnie and I will NEVER let him hurt you.  He can’t hurt me. I don’t care what anyone thinks.  All I care about is you. Do you believe that?”

 

I nod slowly.  “Forgive me for running?”

 

He smiles, leaning down to kiss me softly. “Always. Just don’t do it again.”

 

I lean into him, feeling safe wrapped in his arms.  “Never.  All I need is right here.”