Project: nkotBSB

By Dottie

Copyright 2014

Chapter 97

Jessi

When they disappear, I turn to Nick. “You knew he had a ring?”

Nick nods. “Yeah.  He was going to propose at dinner.”

I can’t help it.  I start giggling.  His laughter joins mine and he hugs me close.  I lay my head on his chest and murmur, “Nick, I didn’t know I could be this happy.”

He kisses the top of my head.  “It’s only the beginning Baby.  For the rest of my life, I’m going to do whatever I can to make you happy.”

I know he means it. I know he loves me almost as much as I love him.  The faith I have in him and our love overwhelms me.  Somewhere deep inside, the last nagging doubts are shriveling. Sobs consume my body and Nick picks me up, cradling me in his arms as he sits on a lounge chair and lets me cry it out.

When the tears are gone and I’m left sniffling he whispers, “You ok, Jess?”

I nod against his neck, kissing him just below his ear.  “Yeah.  I just realized I’m not consumed by my past anymore.  I have a future and it’s going to be a happy future.”  Suddenly I sit up. “Nick…let’s get married now.”

He looks at me confused.  “Baby, what’s the rush?”

I sigh.  “Nick I just…I don’t know…I just want to be your wife more than anything in this world.  I don’t…” I look away, suddenly unsure.  “I…I can wait if you’re…not ready.”

He grabs my chin and pulls my eyes back to his. “Jessica Marie Todd…you’d try the patience of a saint.  I’m not hesitating because I’m not ready…I just thought women liked to take time and plan big, fancy, elaborate…”

I cover his lips with my hand.  “No.  I don’t want a spectacle Nick. I just…I want you.  I want Hanna Jo there.  I want…us.”

He kisses my palm and then licks it, making me laugh. I pull my hand back and he chuckles, “Then that’s just what we’ll have.  Only…I’d like Brian and Howie to be here. If you don’t mind.”

I kiss his nose.  “What about your family?”

His smile fades a little.  “Jessi, they don’t care about me, just my money.  Even if I ask them, they’ll make it all about what I can do for them. I’d rather keep it simple myself.”  Suddenly, his eyes widen.  “Jessi, how about a double wedding?”

I look at him like he’s crazy.  “Are you kidding?  Really?”

He nods. “Yes, really!  A small, intimate, double wedding ceremony.”

I shake my head.  “What makes you think they want to get married right away?”

He shrugs.  “Just the fact that AJ is planning a wedding ceremony for the weekend.  Then he’s going to whisk Hanna Jo off for a honeymoon cruise in Alaska…”

I cut him off.  “Alaska!  Oh my God, she’ll LOVE! When did he decide all this?”

He plays with my hair.  “Today when he was ring shopping.  He said he wants to cram as much happiness into her life as he can because her parents suck it all away.”

My smile fades.  “Her parents are real hard cases.  I bet they blow a gasket when they find out she’s pregnant.”

He kisses my cheek.  “Who gives a fuck what they think?”

I grimace.  “Unfortunately, Hanna Jo might.  She’s determined to be her own person, but sometimes, after she talks to one of them, I can see her just shut down and become the pawn they want her to be.”

He holds me close and I snuggle against his neck.  “Sweetheart, AJ won’t let them get her down.  He already told me he’s determined to keep her and the baby away from her family if he has to…his only thought is to make Hanna Jo happy and raise their baby to have a mind of its own.”

We keep talking about babies and I can’t help but mutter, “Nick, did you ever think about having children?”

His body stiffens and I know I made a bad, bad mistake by asking.  I lay still silently and wait.  Finally, he relaxes slightly and mutters, “After everything my parents did to me, I…well…I don’t know how to say this.”

I sit up and look at him fearfully.  “Just say it Nick.”

He sighs.  “When I was twenty-four, I had a fan say I fathered a baby with her. We did the DNA tests, the whole nine yards.  It wasn’t mine.  After that, well…I had a vasectomy.”  He takes a shaky breath and whispers, “I’m so sorry Jessi.”

I can’t find the right word to describe what I feel.  Intense relief and overwhelming disappointment at the same time.  I slide my arms around his neck and whisper, “Don’t be sorry Nick. I can’t say I blame you for what you did over eight years ago.  I’m not mad.”

He kisses my shoulder and holds me so tight I almost can’t breathe.  “Do you want to have kids, Jessi?  I’ll reverse it if you do. I swear, I never thought about kids and it didn’t matter, but for you…”

I manage to push back and grab his face with my hands. “Nick, shut up.”  When his mouth closes, I whisper, “I just don’t know about kids Nick. I never thought about it either.  I just asked because I was curious.”

He kisses me then.  Softly.  Sweetly. Tenderly.  I sigh when we part.  He whispers, “I love you Jessi.”

I kiss his nose and mutter, “I love you too Nick. Maybe when we get settled and I don’t have this court thing looming over my head we can…talk about it?”

He smiles and my heart melts.  “Jessi, anything you want you can have.  All you have to do is ask. I swear…”

I cover his mouth with mine to shut him up, kissing him deeply and passionately.  When we part, I whisper, “Just love me Nick.  That’s all I ask.”

He stands up with me in his arms and makes his way to our room.  As he lowers me to the bed he murmurs, “I’ll love you till the day I die.”