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Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry for the long update..im hoping that its still being read..so here goes!
" WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" Nick thundered as he pounded down the bathroom door, once blue eyes appearing so full of unrefined love, now was a blistering fury of anger.
Rosalind curled up in the bathroom tub, wearing nothing but a sea-foam colored bra and panties and handled the knife right above the curving stream of her veins.
It wasn't as though they did not love each other, nor cared but they both seemed too strung up high within their own insecurities to not had notice.
She wondered briefly if it could had been better if Nick wasn't out drinking and frying his own ass across the floor where he sprawled after a long evening of vodka. It was as though he was having an affair with the bitter but sweet taste from the poison, most fearful the way he acted in the aftermath of the intimacy for loosely getting drunk.
Nick stammered quickly into the dimly lit room,shattering porcelain fixtures along his travels, cursing even more fervor and she knew very well the storm in him just raised above her expectations.
Too deep into her dream-like state that she didn't realize his long fingers gripping on her wrist as he pulled her up. And with a ton of force ripped her from her sanctuary,clutching her frail figure almost tumbling back.
" THE FUCK YOU DOING THIS SHIT FOR? hUH? TELL ME NOW!" He bellowed when Rosalind pulls her head down in an ashamed tribute to his madness. He chuckled evily and again grabbed hold on her chin and forced her to peer into his coldness.


That was when he faltered....

A few streams of sorrow brimmed and roughly fallen down her hollow cheeks, sinking into the lingering thirst on her lips. How she would love to have spoken now, to allow permission of her soul to carve inside him...to make him understand.
His storm finally settled, and like leaves wet with a pureness of calm and guilt, he released his hold and stood fully up...just staring.
Rosalind expressed the same, never knowing when she could trigger him next. He was a walking bomb of emotions and addiction, overtaken the gentle man she once knew.
Nick tried to blink back his tear but with no avail and suddenly thrust himself onto her thighs, laying his sweaty forehead on her velvet skin, burning at the touch of his lightening grace.
Sobbing carefully, she felt him shifting in defeat, knowing he was wrong, questioning to himself why he kept fucking up.
" Shhh...its okay honey...its gonna be all right." Rosalind cooed rubbing her hands through his faded blonde streaks as Nick shook his head, to realize that any answer offered was simply never good enough.
" No Rosey....I can't keep doing this anymore to you...I'm..I'm...so sorry." Uncontrollably crying as she held him tighter thinking if she could even more he would shatter into pieces.
" Come on..let's go lay down and sleep..I feel we both need it." She finally said as they flocked into their place, Nick ribbon his arms around her as she felt his hot tears still wavering onto the crevice of he shoulder and soon enough, they were both asleep into their separate paradise.



Sunlit tendrils enter the room without warning and Rosalind crumples her body upward, turning to see a peaceful form of Nick sleeping. Brushing a few stays of his hair and gently pecked his cheeks.
She entered the kitchen brewing hazelnut coffee and fixing up some bacon and eggs for herself and Nick.
Her thoughts from last night still fresh within her and she could not help but think the extent of his problems.
She knew what to expect when she started dating him and he had belted all his emotions and turmoils of his past to justify it..but this...the heavy drinking, the hitting...and it wasn't even the first time he had lay his hands on hers.
It happened a month ago, when they were leaving an exclusive party for the Backstreet Boys next album In A World Like This. He drank a few Jack and cokes while she only seldom sipped on chardonnay. At first he was laughing and joking, even throwing himself all over Rosalind.
It wasn't in that moment that she cherished such passion emitting brightly only to be curtained like a dark secret stalking upon a heart's tune.
After, they returned home and Nick started reacting in a way she did not see coming. Accusing her of cheating when another man at the party had met her before as they were school mates.
Oh did she try to explain to him but evidently he was not phased with her "excuses."
She cuddled up to herself in their bed, allowing the white truffle of blanket to consume her in comfort. Nick tore that apart, along with her pride, her womanhood as he slapped her a few times across the face.
The first stung fiercely, welting on instant and the second..third..fourth...fifth....she was soon numb upon
the very hearth that was gazing in warmth....pain and sorrow in hand.
Rosalind did nothing as she shudders from a wild breeze intruding her body to Nick's hand needling her skin from every love she tied down for only him...

And she still kept going back, even when she wanted to leave...the look in his face had spoken without speaking, had cried without crying, had scream without being heard, his eyes where so transparent that she could not see herself in his future...
and still...she kept going back.



A low groaning sound suddenly popped throughout the kitchen and realized Nick was awake. Slowly perching herself toward him, his gaze was hollow..almost empty of anything human.
" Good morning honey, I made you breakfast." Rosalind suggested as Nick quietly sat down, bowing his head down.
" Morning baby." he returned and she hugged him while he sat down and started picking apart his food.
" Don't worry about last night...but I do think you should seek help." She offered and Nick paused, squeezing himself shut and burying his hands in his face.
" I don't even know where to begin." Nick muttered, never leaving his position and it hurt Rosalind so much to seem him vulnerable and yet a tinging hue of hatred continues to lurk around her.
" Well..why don't we start off by not drinking and maybe seeing a therapist to work out through your issue and.."
" Damn it Rosey! You don't understand, I am completely fucked up!!" Nick cut her off, whipping his fists on the table, clattering the cups and plates.
Rosalind gasped, remembering a madness that seems to sicken her Nick.
Of course he regretted it immediately, even trying to forget her was severely hungover, thumbing his temples and breathed a huge sigh.
" I'm sorry babe...your right...I really do need help."
" I am glad to hear it." She bent down, harvesting his hands into hers as he peered into her flushed but beautiful face...he truly loves this woman and he never wants to let her go.
A small smile arching across him, realizing if he wanted his forever to stay by him, he was in desperate need to change.
After breakfast, they spent the day strolling on the beaches and shopping, acting like every normal couple would.
But..like all couples......shadowing grey clouds loomed over..constantly awaiting to rainfall a release, a wonder, a dying curse....only to be left with hindering doubts as love disappears each shred over time.
There will be a new chapter blooming, one that Nick and Rosalind will think this was their only anchor to be saved.....