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The next morning was rough seeing the guys and girls off, but Baylee and I only had two weeks without them. AJ being the protective person he was, had Marcus stay with Baylee and I; which we didn’t have a problem with that. AJ ended up getting Q to be his bodyguard until we got on tour with them. The week got better, it was hard but we made it work—now only four days was there between us.

This tour was focusing on the US and some cities in Canada and Mexico. Baylee and I were going to the ones in the South, ranging from Virginia, Tennessee, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Florida and Alabama.

Luckily for Baylee and I, we didn’t have to fly out to LA so quickly—Ross told me that they wanted AJ to do the spread with me since we’re together. I couldn’t think of a better way of doing a spread than that.

“Aunt Lay can we cook?” Baylee asked, looking up at me. We were in the middle of Charlotte’s Web. I looked down at him and nodded. “After the movie though.”

“Of course we can, Bay.” I said, wrapping my arm around him and kissing his head. My phone vibrated against my leg. I smiled reading the text from AJ: I miss you. I love you. I’m ready to see you

I couldn’t quit smiling. I replied back: I miss you more AND I love you more. Four more days!

He quickly replied: How bout Ink’d called me and asked if I could do a photoshoot with you. That’s pretty fucking amazing.

I smiled and replied: I know. Ross called me earlier and told me. When we finish the tour we go to LA. That saves me a trip! Thank God for you, baby.

He replied just as fast: Oh, so that’s why you keep me around, huh? What are you and B-man doing?

I sighed and replied: Watching Charlotte’s Web. Marcus is getting some groceries for tomorrow. Your mama and Tony are coming over for supper. Bay says hey.

He replied: I wish I was watching Charlotte’s Web with yal. She called me earlier and told me; she’s excited to spend time with you and Bay. Tell him I said hey and I love him.

“Bay, Uncle J said he loves you.” I said, kissing his blonde locks.

“Tell him I love him.” He said, looking up at me. I smiled and nodded before replying back: He said he loves you. I have a surprise for you when I see you.

He replied quicker than normal: Intriguing minds baby. I want to see!

I chuckled, hearing Baylee snoring lightly. I picked him up and took him upstairs to his room and put him in the bed. I kissed his forehead and walked to my room through the balcony. I lit a cigarette and took a long drag, sitting on the rod iron chair. I decided to reply with a witty text: If I do recall you said you had something to show me, too. So, let’s see it.

He replied: The things you do to me. My facial hair grew back just for you.

I replied: Thank God! I’ve missed it. Call me? I laughed loudly of the fact that it didn’t take him but a second to call me.

“Hey love.” I answered, hearing a smile in his voice.

“Hey baby, so, I want to see what you have to show me.” He pressed, but I didn’t give in.

“I can’t show you right now. You’ll see when I get to you in four days.” I played, looking down at my left hand seeing AL with a king crown over the A, above my thumb, in the traditional tattoo script with yellow color. “I think you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure I will. I want to see you so bad.” He whined, making me laugh. “Facetime me, please.”

“Okay, give me a second. I love you.” I replied, hanging up before he could say anything. I clicked the Facetime button, waiting for his face to pop up. I smiled brightly as it did. “Handsome as ever.”

“Shit, I’m looking at a Goddess right now.” He said with a smile. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“No, I have no makeup on, I have my nerd glasses and I’m in sweats. No Goddess here.” I retorted, smiling bitchily at him. He laughed and shook his head.

“You’re always a Goddess.” He sighed, “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, baby. What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing, just sad. I’m the only one with no one. I don’t want to be lonely.” He said, frowning slightly.

“I know babe, but just think—four days. Only four days and you do get to see me, hug me, hold me.”

“Be in you?” He wondered slickly. I grinned and nodded.

“Yes, be in me. Among other things, but yes.”

“I love you so much Angel.” He said as his eyes glassed up.

“I love you baby, please tell me what’s wrong.” I begged, studying his face. He wiped the tears away from his eyes. “I know something’s wrong.”

“Just thinking about things. The things I’ve thought about… they made me thank God every day. I have you, I’m healthy, I have the guys.” He said. I bit my lip, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall. “Everything in my life is finally right.”

“Baby, you’re gonna make me cry.” I said, as the tears slipped down my cheeks. I wiped them away quickly and smiled.

“You’re my everything.” He whispered, loud enough for me to hear him.

“You’re mine,” I said running my finger over his face on the screen, “You’re everything and more, Al.”

“I can’t wait to hold you. I love seeing you on Facetime, I just can’t wait to see you in person.” He said, biting his lip. “It’s never been this hard for anyone except for you. When I left the first time all those years ago, it broke me completely. I need you in my life all the time, Angel. I don’t want to go through not having you like I did.”

“I need you baby.” I whispered, as the tears fell out of my eyes, “You won’t ever have to go through that again.”

“Promise?” He asked through his tears. I nodded and smiled.

“Pinky.” I replied, seeing him smile slightly. I bit my lip and sighed, “Talk to me. What brought all these thoughts?”

“Just me being lonely and thinking. I just miss you; the guys and girls do, too.” He said, sitting back in his chair and lighting up a cigarette.

“Well, I miss you and them, too. What time is the show tonight?” I asked, taking a drag of my cigarette.

“8 PM, it’ll be 10 PM for you.” He said, “It’s supposed to be broadcasted.”

“I think I can stay up and see my beautiful man sing.” I said, making him smile, “Do you know what it’s broadcasting on?”

“Jaime said he can tap in your IP address to give you the full show.” He said with a big smile, I giggled and nodded.

“That will work, he should know it.” I said, winking at him. I heard him sigh loudly, “Baby talk to me, what’s wrong.”

“You are so beautiful, you know that?” He asked, almost robotically. “You are everything I could ever want and more.”

“I wish you would tell me what’s wrong.” I said, taking the last drag of my cigarette. I put it in the butt bucket I had, and sighed.

“I did. Being alone is getting tiresome, Mada. Like I don’t even feel like myself when I’m not around you.” He said, “I’m fucking addicted to you and I’m trying to figure out a way to not be.”

“I don’t mind that you’re addicted me to. I rather be what you’re addicted to than something else. I love you with all my heart, Al.” I said, wiping the tears that fell from my eyes once more.

“Baby don’t cry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He whispered, frowning slightly. I shook my head and bit my lip.

“I know what it feels like Al. Trust me, because I’m addicted to you. We can’t turn back down those roads again; we have each other… it’s our new high. We have to maintain that.” I said, lighting another cigarette, taking a long drag, “I don’t ever want you to think that you have to go back to drinking and cocaine. I’m here for you as your girlfriend, as your lover, as your friend, Al. Regardless of what you think you do or don’t need; you can always talk to me.”

“I know baby.” He said, busting out in a heavy sob, “I know. I just… I’m so used of being around you and you’re not here. I need you like a drug. You’re the only thing I have going right in my life. To be honest, the only reason I’m doing this is for you, for us. I don’t want you to give up on me—my heart couldn’t take that. It would kill me if that ever happened. It would kill me if I didn’t have you. You came back into my life and turned it upside down, in a good way, and I don’t want to go back to how I was before you.”

I wiped my eyes and took a drag of my cigarette, “I’m with you forever, Al. No matter what. I’ll be there in no time, my love, okay? Then it’s us from there on out—my house is your house.”

“When I see you, can I just hold you for like thirty minutes? No speaking, no anything, just hugging.” He asked, smiling through his tears.

“Of course you can baby. Better yet, how about when I get to you, you and I lay in the bed and just hold each other?” I asked, tilting my head. He nodded and smiled.

“I can’t wait.” He said, with a smile. “Hey J come on, we got to do sound check. Hey Lay!” Brian came into view. I smiled and waved.

“Hey Bri.” I said, “Baylee’s asleep. He’s ready to see yal.”

“Good, I’m ready to see him.” He said with a bright smile. “I hate to pull you two away from each other, but we have to get to sound check. Love you Lay!”

“Love you Bri!” I exclaimed, watching him walk out the room. AJ just smiled at me. “Hey, you, I love you the most, more than anything in this world okay?”

“I love you baby. So, so much.” He said, blowing me a kiss. I smiled and purse my lips getting two inches away from the screen and kissing him. “I’ll call you before we go on.”

“Okay my love, have fun. Be safe.” I said, with a bright smile.

“Bye beautiful.” He said, with one last look. I smiled and waved to him as he disconnected our Facetime. I sighed and finished my cigarette, before I walked back inside and checked on Baylee, who was sound asleep. I walked downstairs and saw Marcus putting the groceries up.

“Hey sweetie,” He said, “I talked to J earlier. He seemed a bit sad.” I nodded and started helping with the groceries.

“I know. I just got off Facetime with him; he didn’t seem like his normal self. We had a heart to heart, we both cried.” I said, leaning against the counter. I heard Monty and Minky scratching the back door, I walked and opened the door letting them in. They ran into their kennels and began eating their food.

“He misses you a lot, you can tell.” He said, looking over at me. I nodded and sighed heavily, “He’s used of being around you, and now you’re not it’s breaking him down. You’re his addcition.”

“He told me,” I said, looking over at him, “Marc I told I’m fine with being his addiction. I rather be his addiction than him turning back to cocaine and alcohol. I told him that we can both be each other’s high, and that we didn’t need to go down those roads again, because we’re better than that.”

“I like that. See, I knew you were the girl for him. You have his best interest in mind, you’re not out for spotlight nor money. You have that—you have his best interest at heart. That’s all you care about.” Marcus said pointedly. He read me like an open book.

“You’re absolutely right, Marc.” I said with a small smile. “That’s all I ever wanted, even when we were younger.”

“I know that, and he knows that, I promise. The more you push on him about you being there for him, the easier he will see that you’re really there for him and his best interests. Although, I think that you are his best interest, and he’s yours.” He said with a smile. Damn he’s good.

“It scares me that you know me so well.” I said, grabbing a water from the refrigerator. He chuckled and hugged me gently.

“Don’t let it. I can finally read you now, and it’s not that bad.” He said with a smile. I laughed and shook my head. My phone vibrated, it was a text from AJ: Thinking of you.

I excused myself and walked through the house to the living room. I smiled at the text and replied: Thinking of you, babe.

I switched from the DVD to the satellite. I grabbed the remote and started browsing through the channels, ending up on Boy Meets World; as it was going off the familiar beginning notes to No One Else Comes Close started playing.

I grinned and grabbed my phone, sending a text to AJ: I turned it to Boy Meets World, and guess what I hear at the end? No One Else Comes Close. :) #OurFate

A new episode comes on; one of my favorites the Halloween episode. Feeny gets a pencil in the back, Rachel and Jack gets a bookcase pushed on them, Shawn is a doppelganger. I smiled and sunk in the couch, laying on my side. I heard Monty and Minky pad through the house, and ended up jumping on the couch with me, before settling down at my stomach.

They’ve been doing that for the past week, they’ve never done that before—it was a surprise to say the least, it was as if they were guarding me. The three of us laid on the couch, until I heard small feet pad down the stairs.

“Auntie Lay?” I heard Baylee ask.

“In here baby.” I called, hearing him come closer. He stood in the doorway wiping the sleep from his eye, with the stuffed dog I gave him under his right arm. “Come here my love.”

He walked over to me, Minky and Monty moved behind my head, resting on my shoulder. He slid in, laying his head on my arm, I wrapped my free arm around him snuggling him closer. I kissed the back of his head, “Did you have a good nap?”

“Yes ma’am. Aunt Lay can I ask you a question?” He wondered, waiting for an answer.

“You can always ask me anything. What’s up Buttercup?” I asked, bending the arm he was laying on so I could run my fingers through his hair.

“Will you always love me?” He asked.

“Baby no matter what I will always love you, why?” I questioned.

“What if you and Uncle J gets married and you have a baby?” He asked, looking at my arm, running his fingers over his name.

“Listen to me, even if Uncle J and I do get married and have a baby, you will still be my baby and I will always love you. You’re my big baby and when the time comes for me to have a baby, you get to be his or her big cousin. That means you get to teach them, help them.” I said, kissing his head. I saw Marcus leaning against the threshold with a smile on his face.

“You promise you won’t ever stop loving me?” He said, turning towards me.

“Baylee Thomas, I promise with everything in me and from the bottom of my heart that I will always love you. I will never stop loving you. It’s not possible for me to stop loving you.” I said, hugging him to me. I kissed his forehead, letting my lips linger for a minute. “You’re my number one guy. Don’t tell Uncle J or Daddy, that’s between us.”

“I won’t, I promise.” He whispered, wrapping his small arm around me. I hummed his favorite “Daddy songs” The One. “Do you think I would be a good big cousin?”

“There is no doubt in my mind that you wouldn’t baby.” I said, kissing his head once more before he snuggled into my neck. I ran my free hand up and down his back, until I heard him lightly snore once again.

“I can’t wait to see you as a mommy.” Marcus said, taking Baylee gently from my arms and laying him on the short end and attaching ottoman of the sectional couch. I sat up and grabbed ‘our’ fleece Thomas the Train blanket, laying it over him. I bent down and kissed his head before I walked into the kitchen and started an easy supper—Hamburger Helper.

I browned the ground beef and boiled the noodles. Marcus walked into the kitchen and sat down at the island. “What’s up Marc?”

“Nothing J just texted me and told me to tell you that he loves you and they were fixing to eat real quick and he’d call you before they start.” He said, looking on his phone.

“Tell him I love him, and I’ll be waiting.” I said, looking over my shoulder. He nodded and smiled, replying to AJ. After browning the ground beef, I put it in the colander in the sink, letting the grease drain. After it drained, I put it back in the pan on the stove, then drained the noodles. I opened the sauce pack in the ground beef and mixed it together. I grabbed the noodles and poured in the ground beef, mixing them together. I turned down the stove top, letting it simmer together. I grabbed the sour cream out of the fridge and put a small dab in the Hamburger Helper and stirred it together.

“Something’s on your mind.” Marcus said, as I fixed the three of us a glass of tea. I turned to him and sighed.

“I’m just worried about him. You think that tomorrow night we can leave for Georgia? They start in Kentucky the day after. I just have to stop by Ivory and sign the papers.” I said, looking at him. “Den and Tony are coming for lunch, so after they leave we can leave. We can take turns driving. I just want to surprise AJ.”

“That sounds great, babe.” He said, as I fixed him a plate and sat it in front of him, along with his tea. I smiled and walked into the living room seeing Baylee stir in his sleep.

“Hey baby, you ready to eat?” I asked, sitting beside him. He groaned and laid his head on my leg. I ran my fingers through his hair. “I made your favorite.” His eyes shot open, making me laugh. He sat up and held his arms out. I wrapped him up in my arms and walked into the kitchen, sitting him by Marcus. I fixed his plate and sat it in front of him, along with his sippy cup.

“How far away is Statesboro from Jacksonville?” Marcus asked, looking up at me.

“Three hours. If you drive to Jacksonville, I’ll drive from there to Statesboro. We stay on 95, go to Savannah hit 16 go straight in Statesboro, we’ll hit Ivory, then get on 25 go through Millen, Waynesboro, then to Augusta, we’ll fly to Kentucky.”

“Sounds good to me.” He said, as he ate his supper. I smiled and nodded, before I fixed myself a plate. I sat down beside Bayle and texted Brian to call me ASAP. After we finished eating, I washed our plates, then ran Baylee’s bath for him. Once he was in, my phone was ringing—it was Brian.

“Hey Bri, where at in Kentucky are yal starting out at?” I asked, giving Baylee his toys.

“Covington, why?” He asked, making me chuckle.

“Well, I wanted to surprise Al—he’s been acting funkier than normal.” I said, hearing him snort.

“Yeah, I know. He misses you a lot, Lay. We all do, but he’s taking it hard.” He said, “How about in the middle of the show we’re singing “Safest Place to Hide”, you know the song by heart and you’ve played it acoustically, do that and video it. Say some cute lovey stuff to J, then just sing the first two verses, put the guitar down and stand up, then you’re behind the curtain and you come out, the band will pick up on the chorus.”

“I love it Bri. Okay, great! We have to stay hidden from him though.” I said, “Baylee too, because if he sees Baylee or Marcus he’ll know I’m there.”

“Marcus can be in the crowd with security.” He said, making me nod.

“Okay, that works. What about Baylee?” I asked.

“He can stay in my dressing room, J won’t go in there.” He said, I smiled widely.

“Amazing! I can’t wait! How’s he acting now?” I asked hearing him sigh.

“He hardly ate his supper.” He said, my heart was breaking. “I tried to get him to eat more than what he did. Call him okay?”

“Okay, love you Bri.” I said, feeling the tears well up into my eyes.

“Love you Lay.” He whispered, before he hung up. I bit my lip and called AJ as quick as I could.

“Hello?” He asked drowsily.

“Al… baby why didn’t you eat?” I asked, hearing his breathing change.

“Didn’t feel like it. I miss you.” He said lowly.

“Baby, I miss you, too, but I need you to eat okay?” I questioned lightly, he sighed but complied.

“Okay, I’ll eat. What are you doing?” He asked, seemingly to lighten up a bit.

“Sitting in the bathroom with Baylee, he’s taking his bath. He’s tired as I don’t know what, my little baby is wore slap out. How did sound check go?” I wondered, hearing him chuckle.

“They went fine. What have you done to him all day?” He asked, making me smile.

“We painted, played a lot. Went to the beach and had a picnic. Anything he wanted to do, we done.” I replied, looking at my fingernails.

“That sounds like fun. He sure does love his Lay.” He said, I knew he was smiling.

“I sure do love my Bay.” I said, looking at Baylee, who was dozing off. “Hold on for a minute, love.”

“Okay baby.” He said. I got up and rinsed Baylee off. I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around him, taking him in my arms. I grabbed the phone and put it to my ear. “You okay?”

“Oh yeah, he was falling asleep in the tub. I’m fixing to get him dressed for bed, and in the bed.” I said, walking into his room. I laid him on the bed and grabbed him a pair of underwear. I dried him off and put his underwear on, along with a T-Rex t-shirt that AJ bought him. “What you doing my love?” I asked, pulling back the covers to Baylee’s bed.

“Nothing, just sitting on the bus.” He said, as I tucked Baylee in. I leaned down and kissed his head, and whispered that I loved him. I walked out his room and closed his door. “You are so good with him.”

“I love that little boy, Al. He’s a big part of my heart.” I said, walking to my room. I grabbed a cigarette and walked on the balcony, sitting in my chair. I propped my feet up and took a drag. “I love you.”

“I love you baby. I can’t wait to see you.” He said, making me smile widely. “Four long days.”

“They’ll go by quick, baby. I promise.” I said, hearing Kevin in the background.

“I got to go baby, I’ll give you a shout out at the show.” He said, making me laugh, “I love you baby. I love you so much.”

“I love you Al, so, so, much.” I said, before we said our goodbyes. I finished my cigarette and walked back inside. I walked to my closet and decided what I was going to wear for the show to surprise AJ. I thought it would’ve been better if I did it to where I wore the same in the video that I was going to send to him. I smiled and found what I was going to wear. I slipped the shirt and pants on quickly, then walked in the bathroom and done my makeup. I smiled as I looked in the mirror seeing the quick version of how I would look.

When I finished, I walked downstairs to the studio. I grabbed my acoustic electric Dean Cutlass guitar and plugged it up. I put my phone on the tripod and cut it on to video. I pressed record and sat down.

"Hey Guys, yal are looking amazing! Can you hear me? " I paused for six seconds, "Okay good. Hey everyone at the show, I know you're enjoying it! I won't take up much of your time, but I want to talk to AJ, so step up front and center, my love." I counted to ten, and smiled.

“Hey Al,” I started, before singing, “I just want you to know!” I laughed lightly, “That I love you with all my heart. I hope you’re watching this. Ever since you came back into my life, I’ve been happier than I ever been. Ma and I were talking the other day, and she brought up our marriage when we were kids. I remember you being hell bound and determined about that.” I laughed, “We had your mama officiating it and everything. She drew up papers for us to sign; she still has those. She even gave me a copy of both for me to keep.” I grabbed the picture of him and I after we were ‘married’ and held it up, smiling widely.

I grabbed the paper we both signed and held it up—I started tearing up; “You are not only my boyfriend, you are my heart and my best friend… Don’t tell Brian. I love you Brian, Nicky, Kev, and Latin Lover as well, think no different, yal are my mens! Al, no matter what, no matter what our pasts were like, we were still connected in a weird way. We both went through the same things, but it takes us to come out on top. We can’t live in the past, we can only live in the present and make sure our future is us against the world. You’re my addiction, you’re what I yearn for day and night, even when you’re right beside me. I love you with all my heart, I hope you enjoy this. I found one thing for sure; you’re my safest place to hide.”

I wiped my fallen tears and took a deep breath. I grabbed my guitar and started playing the chords to Safest Place to Hide. I closed my eyes swaying to the chords,

Yeah, yeah; It seems like yesterday when I said "I do". And after all this time my heart still burns for you. If you don't know by now that you're my only one. Take a look inside me and watch my heartstrings come undone.

I know I promised you forever. Is there no stronger word I can use, to reassure you when the storm is raging outside; You're my safest place to hide


I blew him a kiss and stood up, walking away behind my phone and cut it off. I sent it to Brian for him to watch. He sent a reply: That made me tear up. I love you Lay, he’s going to be over the moon! I ran it by the guys and they all smiled. We promise not to tell him.

I grinned and replied: Good, I love you Bri. Have a great show. Bay’s in washed and in bed. I’m fixing to turn it to the broadcasting.

I quickly sent out a group message: I love each and every one of yal. I’m so proud of you five. I’ll be watching the broadcasting!

It wasn’t just seconds later, I got five separate texts. AJ: I love you baby! Thousands upon thousands of kisses, my love., Brian: Love you Lay, shoutout from us to you!, Kevin: I admire you. Love you most!, Nick: Love you Lay! Listen for your name!, Howie: Te Amo Senora!

I changed back in my sweats and walked downstairs, seeing Marcus sitting on the couch. I sat beside him and turned the TV on, Jaime was tapped in to my internet. I smiled watching everyone filing into the arena. I grinned even wider when the lights went down and the guys appeared on stage, starting with The Call.

I had a permanent smile on my face the whole time. They went through My Beautiful Woman, More Than That, Climbing the Walls, Shape of My Heart, The One.

“I want to take the time to thank each and every one of yal for coming tonight.” Brian started, “Our wives and fiancé’s and us are missing an amazing woman. AJ misses her the most.”

“I miss her more than anything, she’s the love of my life—the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The guys can agree with that and back me up.” AJ said, “Madalay I love you so much beautiful. I can’t wait to see you in Tennessee.”

“She’s helped him even when she hasn’t even realized. Thank you Lay.” Howie said, wrapping his arm around AJ’s shoulders. AJ just nodded and beamed.

“She has been his saving grace.” Kevin added, “She’s beautiful inside and out, and is a perfect fit for AJ.”

“She’s patient with all of us, and we get to keep her forever!” Nick said, jumping around like a kid. I giggled and shook my head.

“We love you Lay!” Brian, Howie, Kev and Nick called out.

“I love you beautiful!” AJ exclaimed, making me smile. Marcus reached over and brushed his finger against my cheek. I looked at him and furrowed my eyebrows.

“You’re crying.” He said with a small smile. I chuckled, not even realizing that I was.

“Thank you.” I said, before wiping them away. They started the rest of their show with I Still…, I Want It That Way, Lose It All, Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely, Larger Than Life, Siberia. With a short interlude of We’ve Got It Goin On, they come back with All I Have To Give, As Long As You Love Me, I’ll Never Break Your Heart, Just Want You To Know, Crawling Back To You, Drowning, Incomplete and ended it with Everybody.

I clapped loudly, and sighed, looking over at Marcus who had the most priceless expression on his face that I have ever seen. My phone vibrated, I looked at it and it was a text from AJ: I hope you enjoyed the show, my love. I can’t wait to see you. I love you, Angel! Get some sleep, beautiful. I smiled at the picture of him.

I held the phone up and blew him a kiss, snapping the picture. I sent him the picture along with I did, baby. Yal did amazing! I can’t wait to see you either! I love you baby! Goodnight my love.

“Marc, I’m fixing to go to bed, I’ll see you in the morning.” I said, hugging him tightly.

“Goodnight doll.” He said with bright smile. I walked upstairs to my room. I pulled the covers back and slid in the bed, plugging my phone up on the charger. I played the first Backstreet Boys album, and fell into a deep sleep.