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Finishing up the southern leg of the tour, Marcus and Vanessa decided they would drive my Denali back, they wanted to spend a little more time together before she had to go back to school. As we touched in West Palm for the last show, AJ was prompt about getting a matching tattoo of mine; same script, same place, with a Queen Crown and MADA with purple shading.

As soon as he got to rehearsal and sound check, he paraded around the arena showing it off to everyone he could every five minutes. I couldn’t help but to laugh. The last show was amazing as always; the only sad part was they announced that Kevin was leaving Backstreet Boys to venture in different prospects. I cried, as well as the guys. They called me up to dance the original dances to We’ve Got It Goin’ On, Larger Than Life, and Backstreets Back.

As much as I loved being on the road with my family, I missed my home. It seemed like that was my life—always going. For once, I wanted to settle down on my couch and watch a sappy love movie on Lifetime, but I knew that my wants would come to an end at some point,

I sighed, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I stood there in a pair of black lacey boy shorts and a black lace bra. I was gaining weight, and not just in my stomach, but my thighs, breasts, ass—I could hardly fit into anything I had.

“Hey baby—Oh hello beautiful.” AJ said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my stomach.

“I don’t feel beautiful.” I said, looking at him through the mirror. I bit my lip, “There isn’t anything I own that really fits me anymore. Everything is tight.”

“Baby, you are beautiful. Even if you think you’re gaining weight. I don’t see it.” He said, kissing my shoulder. I sighed and tilted my head to the side, looking once more before I pulled out of AJ’s arms and walked into the closet.

“What did you need before I side tracked you?” I asked, grabbing a lose t-shirt dress and walking back into our bedroom. He was sitting on the bed and looked up at me as I slid the dress over my head.

“Do you mind if Ma and Tony come over for supper?” He asked, I furrowed my eyebrows and walked to him, standing between his legs.

“You know you don’t have to ask. They’re always welcomed here.” I said, running my fingers through his hair. He nodded and rested his hands on my hips, feeling the fullness of them.

“Okay, she wanted to come eat with the new engaged couple.” He said, looking up at me with a bright smile. I grinned and leaned down, pressing my lips to his forehead, then his nose, and finally his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you.” I said with a smile, “Plus I owe them dinner anyways. My surprise kind of pushed it to breakfast that morning.”

“Okay, I’ll text her and tell her 8?” He suggested, I nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, that’s good. It’s three now, I want to watch that movie on Lifetime in a few minutes.” I said, pulling him up, “You gonna watch it with me?”

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, mine around his waist. “What movie?”

“I think The Break Up is on next.” I said, laying my head on his chest.

“Uh, yeah. I get to snuggle you?” He asked, making me laugh. I pushed from his chest and walked out the bedroom and down the stairs. I walked into the living room and turned on the TV. Fried Green Tomatoes was ending, I pulled the pillows off the sectional, and heard AJ come down stairs.

He walked in the kitchen and got us two Cokes, along with extra buttered popcorn. Walking back in, I sat on the couch, drawing my legs under me. He sat beside me, against the arm of the couch and pulled me between his legs.

He opened our Cokes and the hot bag of popcorn, as the movie started. I snuggled in his chest, feeling my stomach become queasy. Pain erupted in my abdomen, I jolted up and cradled my stomach.

“Baby what’s wrong? Talk to me.” AJ said in a worried tone.

“My stomach hurts really, really bad.” I said, standing up he gasped. “What?”

“Baby you’re bleeding.” He said, making me turn around. There was blood on the couch; I felt another spring of pain shoot through my body. I doubled over, as tears fell from my eyes. “We got to get you to the hospital now.”

“Al don’t leave me.” I said, burying my face in his chest. He hugged me tight and kissed my head.

“I won’t ever leave you.” He whispered, picking me up bridal style and running out the house. Without thinking he put me in the Denali, and ran to the driver’s side getting in quickly. He crunk up and peeled out the driveway, he shakily grabbed his phone and called Denise to tell her we were going to the hospital. It wasn’t but five minutes later, we were there. He took me in his arms as he did earlier and ran us in the hospital.

“My wife needs help!” He exclaimed in the lobby of the hospital.

“Sir, what can I help you with?” An elder woman asked.

“She…she... she’s in pain her stomach and she’s bleeding heavily down there.” He said, trying to be as polite as he could.

“We need a doctor now! Sir, can you bring her in to this room for me?” She asked, pointing to the room. He nodded and swiftly walked into the room, he laid me on the bed and wiped my tears away. The woman walked in and handed AJ a paper, “Can you feel this out for me, sir? You don’t have to finish it right now, but before you two leave.”

“Yes mam.” He said, looking back at me, seeing my face show pain.

“Also, I need you to help me get her shirt off and into a gown. I don’t want to hurt her any more than she’s hurting.” She spoke to AJ. He nodded and hooked his arms under my arms and lifted me as she pulled the dress up. “Sweetheart on a scale of one to ten what’s your pain?”

“Ten being bad?” I asked, she nodded. “An eight.”

“Okay sweetheart, I’ll get the doctor in here as soon as I can.” She said, helping me put on the gown. AJ sent out a text to the guys telling them what happened and that I was in the hospital. She excused herself and walked out, leaving AJ and I. The pain was more than I could bare. I closed my eyes and clutched my stomach; I felt a weight on the bed and arms around me. I hid my face in his neck, holding onto him tightly.

“Baby, breathe. Just breathe.” He said, rocking us side to side.

“Mrs. McLean, I’m Doctor Reiner; Constance told me that you were having severe abdominal pain and bleeding from below.” She said looking up from her chart. I pulled from AJ and wiped my face, nodding. “When was your last period, Mrs. McLean?”

“I’m on the depo shot, Dr. Reiner. I’ve been on the shot for several years. But every month I have the symptoms of my cycle.” I explained, she wrote the statement down.

“Have you experienced any weight gaining? Any nausea?”

“Weight gain, yes. Nausea, no.” I replied, she nodded.

“What type of career do you have?”

“I own a dance studio, I’m there three days of the week. Among other things.”

“Okay, I want to order an ultrasound to see if you have torn anything. Being a dancer is a lot on the body, a lot of internal damage that you never know about.” She explained, I nodded wincing at the pain that erupted in my abdomen. She took notice and stood up quickly, “Can you lay back, and let me check your stomach?”

I nodded and grabbed AJ’s hand as I laid back. Dr. Reiner slipped her hand under the gown and over my stomach, pressing lightly. “Does that hurt anywhere?” I shook my head, until she got a little farther down; a surging pain ran through my stomach. My face contorted, I gripped AJ’s hand tighter.

“That hurts.” I said, as she nodded and stood up. She excused herself and walked out, leaving AJ and I together. “I’m sorry Al.”

“Baby for what? You have nothing to be sorry for, love.” He said, running his fingers through my hair. He leaned down and kissed my head as Dr. Reiner came in with the ultrasound machine. She grabbed the jelly and looked at me.

“This is going to be cold, okay?” She said as covered my legs with the white sheet and lifted the gown to right under my ribcage. She squirted the jelly on my lower abdomen and put the ultrasound wand on my stomach, smearing the jelly. I heard three heartbeats; which one was mine. “Mrs. McLean, congratulations and condolences are in order. I’ll start with the congratulation first, you are pregnant with twins.”

I looked up at AJ, eyes widened. AJ couldn’t keep his eyes off the screen. “And the condolences?”

“Mrs. McLean, it seems to be that you and your husband were expecting triplets; however, the other baby was separated in a different sack as to where the twins are sharing a sack. The other baby didn’t make it. I’m very sorry about the loss of that baby, but nonetheless congratulations on the twins. I’ll give you two a minute.” She said, then got up and walked out the room.

“Al,” I said hysterically as the tears well down my face. He wrapped his arms protectively around me, and pulled me to him. He hid his face in my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Al.”

“You didn’t do this, baby. It’s going to be okay, we’re having twins. We’re going to be parents.” He whispered, pulling away and laying his forehead on mine. I smiled through my tears.

“We’re going to be parents, Al.” I whispered, as he smiled through his tears. There was a knock on the door. “Come in.” I gasped seeing Denise, Howie, Brian and Nick.

“What in the world happened, sweetheart?” She asked, rushing to my side. I looked at AJ, he kissed me quickly before he got up and asked the guys to step out with him. Tears welled in my eyes once more.

“Al and I were pregnant with triplets, but somehow one of the babies detached itself from the sac and died. We are having twins though.” I said, as she grabbed me in her arms, hugging me tightly. Her body shook against mine.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered, kissing my head. I nodded and pulled away, sighing heavily.

“I need a D&C to get the dead baby out.” I said, grabbing her hand. “I want to be sad but I want to be happy. I am sad, but I am happy as well. I don’t know how to feel.”

“I understand baby. I told you that I was pregnant with twins at one time, but I lost them. Just remember it doesn’t stop here, this is the beginning of a wonderful journey. Yes, you lost one, but that wasn’t your fault, sweetheart.”

I nodded, speechless. The door opened, the guys came back in. Brian rushed to me, wrapping his arms around me, hugging me tightly against him. His body shook against mine. “I’m so sorry. Congratulations on the twins though beautiful.”

“Thank you Bri. That means a lot.” I whispered, kissing his cheek, “What are you doing here anyways?”

“I was in Palm Beach at my cousin’s bachelor party last night and decided to stay for the day.” He explained I nodded and smiled.

“Well, I thank you for coming.” I said, hugging him once more. I looked at Howie and held my hand out for him. He smiled sadly through his tears but put his hand in mine. He walked to my side and bent down placing a kiss on my head.

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” He started, and hugged me, “Congratulations on the twins though.”

“Thank you D. Thank you for coming, you didn’t have to.” I said, looking up at him.

“Nonsense you’re my sister, J’s my brother—it was only natural for me to come.” He said softly. I smiled, and wiped the tears that fell from my eyes.

“Nicky you want to come over here?” I asked, looking up at him. He shook his head, letting out a sob then ran out the room. I looked between AJ, Howie and Brian for answers.

“I’ll go look for him.” Howie said, kissing my head. I looked up at him and smiled.

“Thank you.” I said before he walked away. As he walked out, the Doctor walked in.

“Mrs. McLean, I’m fixing to get Constance in here, she will hang you an IV and run it in you. We have the room prepped for your D&C. It’s a simple procedure.” She started, I nodded. I knew what a D&C was—I’ve had one before.

Constance came in and ran my IV. She gave me Tremadol for pain, and a hypo solution. I looked up at the doctor, “Can Alex come with me?”

“If you want him too, then yes.” Dr. Reiner replied. I nodded and looked at him, pleading in silence. He grabbed my hand and kissed my forehead.

“What about the twins? Will the D&C affect the twins?” Denise asked, looking at Dr. Reiner.

“No ma’am, since the baby that passed detached itself.” Dr. Reiner stated, “I’ve done this same exact procedure several times. She’s about a month long, she’s healthy and I believe with everything in me that she will have a healthy pregnancy.”

“Okay, thank you so much Dr. Reiner.” Denise said, hugging him quickly. “I’ll be in the waiting room. I love you two.”

“We love you Ma.” AJ replied, as I nodded. Constance and Dr. Reiner, wheeled me out the room and down the hall to the OR. AJ being the perfect gentleman he was, helped me onto the table. Heather, aka Dr. Reiner, told me to put my feet on the stirups. I did as I was told and scooted towards her. I looked at AJ and bit my lip, he leaned over and kissed me sweetly.

“Alright, Mrs. McLean, Constance is going to hold the UV over your stomach so we can find the fetus. I’m going to open you up, I want you to push and hold it, okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” I replied, as Constance found the dead fetus. I pushed and looked at AJ, he ran his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead.

“Just look at me, okay?” He whispered, I nodded and got lost in his eyes. I felt a light poke and a suction. “I love you, talk to me.”

“I love you. I’m sorry for losing one of our babies.” I whispered, he shook his head and hushed me.

“It wasn’t your fault, baby. We’re having twins though. Two babies, mini versions of us. I hope if we have a girl she looks like you.”

“I want a boy that looks like you.” I replied with a smile.

“Maybe we’ll get both. My life will be complete though when you say I Do.” He said, kissing me.

“I’m already your wife in every other way possible.” I said, “Just not on paper yet. It us against the world, my love.”

“I know, and I thank God every day and night for you.” He whispered, resting his right hand on my left cheek. “I’m there 100%.”

“I know you are, love, I know.” I said, kissing him once more.

“Ma’s going to the house to get you some more clothes, too. After your recovery, hopefully we can go back home.”

“I want to talk to Nick, though.” I said, “You think we can have the guys over for supper along with your mama and Tony?”

“Do you think you’ll be up for that?”

“Yes. I know how this works. I’ll be under the weather for a couple of days, then back to normal.”

“Okay, beautiful. Anything you want. That sounds good to me.”

“What was Nick doing here anyways? I can understand Howie and Brian, but why was Nick here?” I asked, searching in his eyes.

“Leslie’s in rehab.”

“Oh no. What in the world?”

“Drugs again.” He said, my eyes widened—I was taken aback. The last time I talked to her, she was set in changing her ways. She was the emotional one of the Carter’s, she thought everyone had it out for her. She never understood that everyone just wanted to help her.

“Bless her heart.” I said, biting my lip. “The last time I talked to her she said was going to change.”

“Not everyone has that mindset baby.” He whispered, I nodded and sighed. Heather took her gloves off and stood up.

“I can tell you the sex if you’d like.” She said, looking down at us. I shook my head as did AJ.

“Can you just take it away?” I asked, tears welling up in my eyes. She nodded and excused herself, leaving Constance in the room with us.

“Okay sweetheart, two days of no strenuous activity you’ll have slight pain. You are scheduled to come back in a week for a follow up. Dr. Reiner already wrote you a prescription of 800mL of Tylenol 3, and Pre-Natal vitamins.” She said, handing AJ the prescription. “I’m going to take you to the recovery room for ten minutes, by then I’ll have your IV’s out and have the papers drawn up so you can be discharged. Mr. McLean have you finished those papers?”

“Almost done. I’ll finish them and give them to you in the recovery room.” He replied, she smiled and nodded before helping me up. AJ took me from her and laid me on the hospital bed. She wheeled me into the recovery room, AJ laid on the bed with me; I snuggled into his chest and sighed. He finished the papers, and kissed my forehead, “I love you Angel.”

“I love you, too, Al.” I replied as a knock came to the door. It was Denise and Constance.

“Here are the papers, Constance, thank you for what you’ve done for us.” AJ said, getting up and handing her the papers. She smiled and took him in her arms, hugging him tightly.

“It’s not problem at all, sweetheart. My husband and I went through the exact same thing when we were younger.” She said, patting his back. He smiled sadly, and returned to his spot beside me. Denise helped me out of my gown and into my clothes.

Constance handed AJ the discharge papers, and slipped him two sonograms of the twins. After we said our goodbyes, the three of us found Nick, Brian, and Howie in the waiting room. Nick stood up quickly and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

“I’m so sorry, Lay. Please forgive me for leaving like I did.” He begged in my ear.

“It’s water under the bridge, Nicky.” I whispered, kissing his cheek. I pulled away and looked at Howie and Brian, “The three of yal are welcomed to come over. Denise, Tony, Al and I are having supper tonight, and I would love it if yal joined.”

“I think we can make that work.” Brian said, hugging me. I grinned and kissed his cheek. We made our way outside, AJ helped me in the Denali; Nick rode with us. Denise and Brian followed us to our house. Tony met us at the door, he helped me out and hugged me tightly, kissing my head.
“I’m glad you’re okay. I’m sorry about that, but congratulations on the twins.” He said, kissing my forehead once more. We walked inside, I went straight to the couch. I noticed that the blood spot was gone. I sighed and heard someone come up behind me, I bit my lip trying to suppress the tears from falling.

“Baby?” I heard AJ ask, I turned around and pressed my face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me tightly. I broke down in his chest. He swayed us back and forth, and pressed his lips to my head. “Calm down baby, okay? I’m here, we’re here. I have you, you have me always.”

I nodded and pulled away from him, looking in his eyes. They were so mix with emotions, I couldn’t pinpoint them all. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his in a short but passionate kiss. “I love you so much, Alexander James.”

“I love you so much, Madalay Jane.” He said, kissing me once more. “Do you want to go take a bath?”

“Yeah,” I said, “I’m fixing to go.”

“I’ll run your bath.” He said, kissing my head once more. He walked upstairs to our bedroom. I walked in the kitchen seeing Brian, Howie, Denise, Nick and Tony sitting at the island.

“You okay sweetheart?” Denise asked as I walked to the fridge. I nodded and grabbed a bottle of water, opening it and taking a sip. I sighed and leaned against the counter.

“Where’s J at?” Brian asked, looking over at me.

“Running a bath for me. He wanted me to relax.”

“You need too, sweets.”

I nodded, “I know.”

“Baby, your bath is ready.” AJ said, walking in the kitchen. I bit my lip and excused myself, walking upstairs. As I walked in the bathroom, I stood in front of the mirror and stripped my clothes, looking at my naked body. Tears fell from my eyes, I lost one child, but I still have two healthy babies.

I had to keep it together for them, for AJ and for myself. I love AJ with all my heart, I love my family. I had to be the stronger person, yet again. I walked to the tub and sat in it, letting the warmth consume my body. I sighed and ran my hands over my stomach. I had not only my life to take care of, but I had our twins and AJ.

“You okay baby?” I heard AJ ask, peeping through the door. I smiled and nodded, waving him over. He walked to me and kneeled, running his fingers through my hair.
“We’re going to be parents, Al.” I said, with happy tears falling down my cheeks. He grinned and nodded, pressing his lips to mine. He wiped the tears on my cheeks.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you Al, always and forever.”

“How about tonight when everyone leaves, you and I lay in the bed and watch a movie.” He proposed, I looked at him and smiled.

“That sounds so good.” I said, sitting up in the tub. He grabbed the loofa and washed my back, then my front. He helped me out the tub and wrapped a towel around me. We walked into the bedroom, he sat on the bed as I dried off.

“What you want to wear baby?” He asked, looking over at me.

“Shorts and a t-shirt. I don’t feel like dressing up too much.” I said, sliding on a pair of panties and a bra. I walked in the bathroom and took my make-up off my face. I walked back into the bedroom to see him getting me a pair of shorts and one of his shirts. I kissed him quickly before he helped me put my shorts on. I grabbed the shirt and threw it over my head, putting it on, it come down to my knees. I chuckled and looked in the floor length mirror seeing how I looked. I looked terrible. My eyes were bloodshot, my face was red from crying. I sighed and turned to AJ who smiled sadly.

“You’re beautiful.” He said, wrapping his arms around me.

“Yeah, you better make sure to remember that when I’m eight months pregnant and the size of our house.” I said, making him smile. I giggled and pressed my lips to his. “I love you.”

“I love you baby. Let’s go downstairs and see what Ma’s cooking.” He said, picking me up carefully. I latched onto him as he walked out of our bedroom and downstairs. Nick and Brian were playing the X-Box like kids. Howie was in the kitchen talking to Denise and Tony.

“Hey babies.” Denise said, as AJ sat me on the stool.

“Hey Den.” I said with a grin.

“You feeling better?” She wondered, I nodded.

“Yes mam. The bath helped these old bones.” I said, winking at her. She chuckled, along with Tony.

“Baby you don’t know old bones yet.” Tony said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and kissed my head. I leaned into him and smiled, closing my eyes. “I’m gonna start the grill, okay?”

“Alright.”

“Hey baby, why don’t you and Ma go in living room and watch some TV?” AJ asked, “Dad and I will get everything cooked.”

“Okay.” I said, getting off the stool. He leaned down and kissed me before he walked outside with Tony. “I have something I want to sing for yal. I wrote it for Al. I was going to see if he’ll sing it with me.”

“Okay, let’s hear it.” Howie said with a big smile. I stood up and grabbed Denise’s hand pulling her behind me to the studio. Brian and Nick caught on and followed. I grabbed my Dean Cutlass Acoustic Electric guitar and a pick and sat down. I plugged the guitar to the amp and looked at them.

“I’ve been working on this for years and I finally finished it.” I said playing the chords of Broken. I closed my eyes and swayed to the music.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away. I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away.

The worst is over now and we can breathe again. I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away. There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away.

Yeah, you’re gone away. You don’t feel me here, anymore.


After I finished, I looked at the guys and Denise—not a dry eye in the room. Brian walked to me, took my guitar and hugged me tightly. “That was beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I whispered, kissing his cheek.

“I love it. It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.” Nick said, hugging Brian and I.

“I think J will love it.” Howie said, hugging Nick, Brian and I.

“He will, I know he will.” Denise said getting up. We welcomed her in our hug. “Have you laid it down?”

“Yes mam, it’s on the laptop. I finished it a couple of weeks ago when the guys were on tour. Baylee sat in here and smiled the whole time as I laid the drums down. Then he wanted me to teach him to play the drums.” I said, hearing the guys and Denise laugh.

“That boy sure does love you.” Brian said, the guys and Denise agreed. “Let’s go watch TV.”

“Okay.” I said, with a smile. The five of us walked into the living room and sprawled out on the couch. I laid against the arm of the couch and laid my feet in Brian’s lap. I let them control what we watched, I smiled widely as The Longest Yard came on Fox. “One of my favorites!”

“I know. You don’t like football but you like football movies. What’s up with that?” Howie asked, looking over at me.

“I never said I didn’t like football, I just don’t understand it. I like baseball and basketball, if that helps.” I said, looking at him, batting my eyelashes. The guys laughed, Denise excused herself and walked outside with AJ and Tony. “Plus, I like Adam Sandler, Tracey Morgan, Burt Reynolds, Terry Crews, Goldberg and Nelly.”

“You worked with Nelly didn’t you?” Nick asked, I nodded.

“Sure have. I had a part in this movie, too. The original was filmed in Georgia.” I said, looking at the screen.

“You know what? As much as I know about you, I clearly know nothing. I’m fixing to look you up.” Nick said, making me laugh.

“Beware, you’re going to be surprised.” I said notably. He went to work on his phone.

“Holy shit! Drive Me Crazy, Big Daddy, 10 Things I Hate About You, Blow, Pearl Harbor, Bring It On, Remember the Titans, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Jesus babe!”

“Look on the screen!” Howie exclaimed, pointing at me in a hot pink dress.

“Damn girl!” AJ said walking in the living room. He gaped, seeing me on TV. “You still got that dress baby?”

“I got a black one that looks just like it.” I said, as he pulled me up, sat down and then pulled me in his lap. I snuggled in his chest and continued watching the movie.

“What exactly is your bank account?” Nick asked, looking up from his phone.

“Plenty.” I said with a small laugh. AJ wrapped his arms around me protectively and kissed my head.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

We all sat there in silence watching the movie, it was almost over with when Denise walked in and told us supper was ready. The five of us got up and went into the kitchen. AJ fixed the drinks, then fixed my plate. We sat at the table and waited for Brian to say grace.

AJ sat to the right of me, while Brian sat on the left, then Tony at the Captain’s Chair, Denise to the left of him, then Nick and Howie. We held hand and bowed our heads. “Heavenly Father, thank you for each blessing you’ve given us. Lord I ask that you wrap your arms around Lay and J at this time, keep her and the twins healthy as well as J. I ask you bless this food that will nourish our bodies. In your name we pray, Amen.”

“Amen.” We said in unison. We started eating and talking about studio time; they were worried about the twins and I.

“I’ll be fine. I’m producing not running track.” I said in shock. I couldn’t believe they were going to ‘ban’ me from the studio because they didn’t want to add stress to me. “I don’t get stressed out, okay? I’ve grown up from that. If we have any problems in the studio I’ll just holler at yal, make yal feel like scolded kids and yal will feel bad.”

“Damn.” Tony said, looking at me. I smiled widely and nodded. Denise winked at me.

“We’ve seen you mad before, I don’t want that to happen again, because you scared the shit out of me.” Nick said, looking at me. I grinned and got up, fixing me another plate. AJ pulled my chair out, then pushed it under me. I thanked him and kissed the corner of his lips.

“So when are yal going to California?” Brian asked, looking at me.

“I think we leave Thursday. I thought it was pretty cool that they asked Al to do it, too. Saved me for having to go alone.” I said, nudging his ribs.

“Is that all I’m here for? So you don’t have to go alone places?” AJ asked dramatically. I giggled and kissed his cheek.

“Only when I have to fly.” I said, making the guys and Denise laugh. AJ looked at me and broke out in a smile. I scarfed my plate down and got up, receiving looks from the guys. “Go away, I was hungry.”

“Okay baby.” AJ said as I glared at him. I grinned and started washing the dishes, but Howie moved me out the way gracefully. I shook my head and smiled; Brian, Nick and AJ cleaned the kitchen.

At 10 PM, Denise and Tony said their goodbyes. The guys decided to stay over, for AJ and I. They waited on us hand and foot, much to our dismay. AJ and I finally settled in bed, wrapped up in to each other. He put Pulp Fiction on and recited the whole movie—I couldn’t help but to laugh. Every so often, he’d kiss my head, reassuring that everything will be okay.

I laid in his arms hearing his soft snores; I couldn’t be any luckier than what I was already. Alexander James McLean is my world, my life, my one and only. I couldn’t be any happier to bring two humans in this world that were a mixture of AJ and I.

Even though we lost one baby, we still had two and we still had each other-- just us against the world.