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Monday mornings were always a drag. I sat up in the bed as the sun shone through the open Roman shade Nick had in the room. Today was the day that I was meeting with the band I was going to produce—I was excited about that. We had to meet in Hollywood, then the production would be back in Florida for the first half. Today I’d get to know who the band was and when producing would start, needless to say I was excited regardless.

I got out of bed and walked in the bathroom, turning the shower water on. Letting it run for a few minutes to warm up, once it was done, I stripped of my clothes and stepped in. The hot water swarm my body, relaxing the tense muscles that I had. I sighed and leaned against the cold shower tiles.

Last night after AJ and I talked, I stole Brian’s iPod and started listening to the songs he had. Most of which were his band, Backstreet Boys, songs… I have to say, I knew a couple back then but never really honed over them. Brian told me to listen to a couple of the newer songs, which I did, and I loved them. Many of the songs were replayed over and over in my mind the whole night, one was a newer one called Crawling Back to You.

Everybody knows, that I was such a fool to every let go of you, but baby I was wrong. Yeah, I know I said, we’d be better off alone, it was time that we moved on. I know I broke your heart, I didn’t mean to break your heart.

But baby here I am, banging on your front door. My pride spilled on the floor, my hands and knees are bruised, and I’m crawling back to you. Begging for a second chance, are you gonna let me in? I was running from the truth, and now I’m crawling back to you.

After hearing it a couple of times, I really honed in on AJ’s part of the song. I don’t know why, but Brian told me to listen to it for a reason. Was it AJ telling me something that he couldn’t tell me in person? He’s always been the lyrical type. He and I are different in that aspect.

I washed thoroughly then got out and ready for my day ahead. I had to look presentable, professional, but fun in a sense, so I picked out my clothes for the day and got dressed After I was finished, I checked my phone and saw it was only 7AM. I sighed, still being on Eastern time—I’m surprised it caught up to me, it usually didn’t.

I walked downstairs and saw Baylee sitting on the floor. “Bay are you up by yourself baby?” I asked, he nodded and smiled.

“I am Lay, I’m hungry.” He beamed up at me. I giggled and picked him up. “You’re really pretty today, Lay. You leaving me?”

“Just for a little bit, Buttercup, then when I get back we can do whatever you want to, okay?” I questioned, as we got into the kitchen. He nodded and kissed my cheek, “You helping me with breakfast?”

“Can I?” He wondered, I nodded and kissed his head.

“Of course you can. Chocolate chip pancakes?” I asked as I sat him on the counter, he leaned back against the backsplash, watching me intently. “What is it Buttercup?”

“Are you happy?” He wondered, catching me off guard as I made the coffee pot up and pressed “Brew”.

“I am, why?” I asked, grabbing the eggs, milk, bacon and sausage out of the fridge and sat them on the counter by him. I found the Bisquick, chocolate chips, and a bowl to mix the pancakes with.

Gathering all the ingredients, I started making his pancakes. Minutes later, he was at the bar eating pancakes and eggs, while he drank orange juice. I started on everyone else’s breakfast.

“Smells good in here.” I heard Nick say from behind me, I looked over my shoulder and smiled, watching him hug Baylee “Good morning little man.” He walked to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, “Good morning Lay, you’re looking gorgeous this morning.”

“Thank you, and good morning Nick, breakfast?” I asked, holding out a plate for him. He smiled and dropped to his knees hugging my middle.

“Where have you been all my life? How could I have just met you recently?” He asked dramatically, making Baylee and I laugh.

“Uncle Nick, she’s been in my life for a while.” Baylee said, making Nick fake pout.

“Not fair!” He groaned, standing up and grabbing the plate from me. He kissed me on the cheek and turned making his way to Baylee. The two sat beside each other and carried on a conversation while I was in my own little world finishing up breakfast.

After I finished breakfast, I fixed a small serving for myself, then sat down with Baylee and Nick. I started eating as everyone started filing in to the kitchen. It wasn’t long before all the food was gone—AJ made two trips as well as Howie, Brian, Baylee and Kevin. Nick made three, and complained about messing up his diet and blaming me for his weight gaining.

“I hope yal enjoy breakfast, I’ve got to get going.” I said, after I finished the dishes. Nick and Brian pretended to cry as I walked to the front door. “Come on you guys! I won’t be long, but I promised myself to Baylee when I get back.”

“Not fair! I haven’t seen you in three weeks either!” Brian exclaimed, making me laugh. I hugged him and Nick, then everyone else. I hugged Baylee last, and kissed his head.

“Love you Lay.” He said, kissing my cheek.

“Love you Bay.” I replied, hugging him once more. I waved bye to everyone before I turned for the door. I opened it and stepped outside, walking to my car. I got in and crunk it up, letting it run for a few minutes before I backed out and was headed to Jive in Hollywood.

My phone started beeping, notifying me of a text message. I looked at the screen, it was Denise. Call me when you can. Love you I smiled and pressed the phone icon and called her.

“Hey baby,” She started, “I was checking in to see if everything is going okay.”

“It is, I’m staying with Nick and Lauren for a few days. I’m headed to a meeting now to meet a band that I’m going to be producing.” I said, “How is everything back home?”

“It’s good baby. I know two little babies that miss you.” She said with a small laugh.

“I miss them, too. I should be back by the end of the week. Guess who I had the privilege of seeing yesterday.”

“He already called. He called last night actually, we had a heart to heart. He said yal did as well.” She said, as I came up to a red light.

“We did. He asked if I wanted to go to counseling with him. I told him I would.” I replied, still at the red light.

“He told me that as well. Baby I know he hurt you, but after he spilled the beans… I don’t think it was intentional. He told me about yal’s talk, and I heard you met his girlfriend.”

“Oh yeah, she’s just a ray of sunshine. And yes, Den I don’t think it was intentional. I’m trying to be optimistic about everything; I realized yesterday that the hate I felt towards him wasn’t exactly hate—it was betrayal, hurt.” I said, as the red light changed to green. I pressed the gas and started towards Jive once more.

“I understand, sweetheart. When you get back, we need to have lunch. Tony misses you as do I.”

“I miss yal, too. Den after everything, I promise things will get better between Al and I.” I said, reassuring her.

“I know you will baby. You know how he is, so you’d have to make that move first.” She said with a small laugh, “Everything will fall into place, I promise. It will just take time.”

“I know, it just shocked me yesterday seeing him. I slapped him and told him I hated him. I didn’t know I slapped him until after I did.” I said, feeling bad for my actions.

“He don’t blame you at all, and neither do I. Call me tonight, I’m fixing to go to the doctor with Tony.” She said, making me nod.

“What’s wrong with Tony?” I asked, pulling into Jive Record’s parking lot.

“Nothing, just having trouble with his blood pressure.” She said, “I love you baby, and have a good day.”

“Okay Den. I want a full report when I call back later. I love you and Tony, and thank you for everything you have done for me. If it wasn’t for you two, I wouldn’t be here today.” I spoke sincerely.

“Oh baby, you would’ve. You would’ve needed a push in the right direction. I better let you go, love you.” She said, I knew she was smiling, I could hear it in her voice.

“Love you Den. Yal be careful, talk to yal later.” I said before we hung up. I checked the time and saw I had thirty minutes before I had to be inside. I lit a cigarette and checked my emails to see if there was any news on the tattoo shop I was supposed to look at, but there was nothing.

My phone rang, it was Ryan from Jive Records in Florida. I pressed send and put the phone to my hear. “Hello?”

“Hey Madalay, how are you this morning?” He questioned as I took a drag of my cigarette.

“I’m good, just pulled up to Jive in Hollywood. Why can’t you tell me about the band?” I whined, making him laugh.

“Because I have been sworn to secrecy. You’ve worked with someone from there before, that’s all I’m going to say.” He said, making me sigh.

“I’ve worked with a lot of people Ryan, who are in fact in many different bands!” I exclaimed, “This is not fair. I’m always in the dark.”

“Oh Madalay, stop it. You’re going to like them, I promise. They’re a good group of guys, anyways, I was calling to tell you I’m fixing to forward emails to you about production time, studio time. When and where it’s all going to take place.”

“Okay, just do that, I’m fixing to walk on up and prepare myself. I got to get with Gary and listen to a song I recorded a while back.” I said, taking the last drag of my cigarette.

“Okay dokey, I’ll forward them right over to you. Have a great day beautiful!” Ryan exclaimed and hung up before I could say anything. I chuckled and turned my phone on vibrate only. I got out my car and grabbed my bag, before I closed the door and locked it. I walked into Jive and saw Ashley at the desk.

“Good morning Ms. Ramirez,” She smiled, standing up as she greeted me.

“Good morning Ashley, I told you my name is Madalay.” I said with a smile, she grinned and sat a cup of coffee on the desk.

“This is for you. I got what you always got when you were here.” She said, beaming up at me.

“Thank you so much, that’s so thoughtful of you.” I said, “I’ll buy us lunch, okay?”

“You don’t have to,” She started but I cut her off.

“Please, you do a lot for me when I’m here. It’s not a problem.” I said, stepping around the desk to hug her. We said our goodbyes before I walked to the elevator. I got in and pressed the number 3. It wasn’t but just a minute later, I was face to face with Gary. I walked in on him playing the song I recorded.

I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest. Or the girl who never wants to be alone. I don't wanna be there calling 4 o'clock in the morning. Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home

Ah, the sun is blinding. Ah, I stayed up again. Oh, I am finding. That that's not the way I want my story to end.

I nodded my head with the beat. It was weird hearing myself singing, when I was the one always behind the sound board.

I'm safe, up high; nothing can touch me, but why do I feel this party's over? No pain, inside; you're my protection, but how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence. The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth. Please don't tell me that we had that conversation. Cause I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?

Ah, the night is calling? And it whispers to me softly come and play. But I, I am falling, and If I let myself go I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe, up high; nothing can touch me, but why do I feel this party's over? No pain, inside; you're my protection, but how do I feel this good sober?

Coming down, coming down, coming down. Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round. I'm looking for myself, sober. Coming down, coming down, coming down. Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round, looking for myself, sober.

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good 'till it goes bad. 'Till you're trying to find the you that you once had. I have heard myself cry, never again, broken down in agony just tryin' to find a friend. Oh, oh.

As the song finished, I looked at Gary and smiled. “You took my idea, this is amazing G.”

“I thought so, too. I got it on a disc for you, I think this could be a hit.” He said, looking at me with a smile.

“A hit?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. He nodded and sat up in his chair.

“I have a vision. You could possibly break through with this. I know you didn’t want to do that, but this song is fucking amazing. You hit the nail on the head, and I think it could help people.” He said, handing me the disc. He played it once more, during the song I started singing along to it.

As the song ended, I heard one than one set of claps behind me. I turned around and saw Brian, Nick, Kevin, Howie and AJ smiling. “Hey guys, what are yal doing here?”

“Supposed to be meeting with our new producer by the name of Ramirez.” Brian said in his Donald Duck voice. I smiled widely and stood up, hugging him tightly.

“I can’t believe this! This is great.” I said, looking at each of them. “Well, would yal like to go to my office and discuss this?”

“That’s fine.” Nick said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

“Okay, great. Gary can I think about what you said earlier?” I asked him, he nodded and smiled, dismissing me. As the guys and I walked out of the control room, Gary started playing the song again.

“So, that song… that was you?” Howie asked as we walked towards my office. I bit my lip and nodded, AJ took the disc from me.

“Alexander James McLean, we may be grown up, but I will beat your ass again!” I exclaimed as he ran into the men’s restroom. I rolled my eyes, as the guys laughed behind me. I got to my office and opened the door for them to walk in. After they walked in, I saw AJ walking down the hall. “You big kid, I need you to hurry up, you’re keeping important business to a halt.”

“Yes ma’am!” He exclaimed, walking through the threshold. I kicked him playfully in the back of the leg, he fell pretending to be hurt. The guys and I laughed as I closed the door behind me and walked behind my desk.

“So, I get to produce yal? This is exciting.” I said, looking on my desk calendar. “Yal are doing a small tour in a couple of weeks right?” I asked, looking through the rest of March.

“Yeah, March 24th through May 23rd. Small US tour and European tour.” Brian said, I nodded and wrote down needful information. “We’d like to start as soon as possible after we come home.”

I nodded, “Okay, booth and studio time… I can have you in there in end of June. We can start the first part of the record in Orlando, if that’s okay with yal. Everything is booked up here for the next year until May. I can get yal in for that part of ending production, if that’s okay?”

“You are so professional.” Kevin said, making me smile.

“I try to be,” I said with a small chuckle. “I will pay for air fare all the way around. I have a house that yal are more than welcome to stay at in Florida, as well.”

“That would be great!” AJ exclaimed, making everyone look at him. He was like a kid that overdosed on candy.

“Okay, good.” I said, “If we run into any problems in Orlando, I have a studio in Nashville that we can go to. Kind of like a vacation and work.” I said absentmindedly, writing down everything.

“You do know that instead of five there will only be four, right Lay?” Kevin asked, making me stop what I was doing.

“What?” I asked, looking between the five of them. They nodded giving me the answer I was looking for.

“Yeah, I decided I’m taking some time off for a while. Kri and I are trying for a baby.” Kevin reassured me. I smiled and felt hot tears prick my eyes.

“That’s so great, Kev. I’m so happy for yal!” I said wholeheartedly, “I think that causes a celebration!”

“Maybe later, but right now this is about them.” He said, winking at me. I nodded and sighed, looking back down at my calendar.

“I need to get with Ken about what days yal have available, I’m sure with promotions, yal will cut into time of production. I don’t want to clash too much, because I’m sure yal are prompt and precise men when yal are recording.” I said, looking between the five of them, they nodded and smiled.

“You’re sexy when you’re serious.” Nick said, making me laugh loudly, as well as the guys.

“Thank you Nick,” I said, “If yal can, can you get Ken to call me?”

“Of course.” Brian said, grabbing his phone and texted Ken asking if he would call me. He replied back with he will at 1:30 PM. My phone started ringing, Ross flashed over the screen.

“Excuse me for a minute,” I said, before I answered the call. “Hello?”

“Lay I have big news for you.” He started, “I got a call from Ink’dmagazine. They want to do a spread on you.”

“Me, why?” I asked, grabbing my pen fixing to write the information down.

“Because you are beautiful and you have amazing tattoos, duh.” He said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes.

“When?” I asked, looking up at AJ, who was staring intently at me.

“April 5th, LA at Envisions.” He said, as I wrote it down. “I just wanted you to know that. See you soon, love you.”

“Yeah, love you Rossy. Tell Taylor, Jordy, and Ryan I said hey and I will see yal when I come to Georgia.” I said, smiling as I wrote it down on my calendar.

“Alright, have a great day.” He said sweetly, which was odd of him.

“You, too. Bye.” I said, before I hung up. I dropped my pen and sighed, “Sorry about that guys.”

“It’s no problem, everything okay?” Brian asked, tilting his head. I nodded and smiled.

“Of course. Anyways, so, what kind of sound are yal going for?” I questioned, grabbing my yellow steno pad. I put their names at the top with Backstreet Boys; Production: June 24, 2006.

“We want a darker but pop and rock type. We have songs that we need help to finish. I have that one song that you wrote… definitely want that on there.” Brian said, as Nick agreed.

“Okay, that works. Mind if I look over what yal do have?” I asked, looking at the guys.

“Of course you can, you’re producing us!” AJ exclaimed, making everyone laugh.
“Okay, great! Well if yal want yal can give those to me later. I have my guitar with me back at Nick’s so we can play around some.” I said, looking at them. Brian broke out into a big smile.

“I can tell this album will be a breeze. I can’t wait to get started!” He said, jumping up from his chair, walking around my desk and picking me up. I giggled and held onto him as he walked back to his seat and sat down. He held out his phone and opened his camera, then held out his arm getting me, him, AJ and Nick in the picture. After we all smiled, I slid out of his lap and returned to my seat.

“It’s going to be fun.” I said, watching them agree.

“If it’s anything like how you were when we done my album, it’s going to be a blast.” Brian said, making me grin widely.

“Well, I hope so, I’ll make it as easy breezy as I can! But, it was a pleasure seeing yal in this form of meeting.” I said, standing up. “We are finished right now.”

“Thank you for doing business with us.” Brian said, shaking my hand. I giggled and hugged him tightly.

“Kevin, pleasure doing business with you.” I said, hugging him.

“Howie, it was a pleasure.” I said, hugging him.

“Carter, pleasure sir.” I said, hugging him.

“Alex, pleasure.” I said, hugging him. “I’ll walk yal out.”

“This is nice.” AJ said, against my ear. I looked up at him and smiled before opening the door for them. As they walked out, I filed out behind them. We got into the elevator and went down to the lobby.

“Can we be non-professional now?” Brian asked, I knew it was about to eat him alive. I chuckled and nodded. “Thank God! Do you know how hard that was? I felt like a child being scolded, acting all prim and proper.”

“I understand Bri. I understand completely.” I said, walking into the lobby. Ashley looked at me and frowned. “You okay Ashley?”

“I’m fine, are you leaving for the day?” She asked, I shook my head.

“I told you I was buying lunch, I’m just walking the guys out.” I said with a smile. She grinned and nodded. The guys and I made it outside, I lit a cigarette and sighed.

“So, how was the meeting guys?” I asked, looking up at them.

“We had this gorgeous woman for our producer. She’s a real looker.” AJ said, making me blush.

“She was very focused on what we wanted. She’s a smart woman, very prompt—knows the business as well as we do.” Brian said, making me smile.

“Well that’s good. I’m sure yal are in the right hands. She won’t let you down.” I said, taking a few drags of my cigarette, then looked up at AJ, “Got an interesting phone call this morning.”

“Yeah? From who?” He wondered, knowing exactly who I was talking about. He wasn’t stupid.

“Ma.” I said, furrowing my eyebrows.

“I can explain,” He started, but I stopped him.

“It’s okay. I haven’t talked to her in a couple of days. She had to take Tony to the doctor. When I get back home, I’m stopping there first.”

“That will be good, they miss you.” He replied, “Everyone usually does.”

“I miss them, and that’s not true. I bet after last night, Kaci don’t miss me.” I joked, jabbing his stomach with my elbow. He chuckled and nodded.

“Fine, the people who matter.” He coincided. I shrugged and finished my cigarette.

“I’ll see you beautiful men later.” I said, hugging them once more before returning back inside. “Ashley, you ready for lunch?”

“Yes!” She exclaimed, grabbing her pocketbook. We went downtown to the Bistro. We talked about everything under the sun—she was someone I confided in, she was someone that could bring me back to reality.