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I gasped loudly, seeing AJ laid in the hospital bed hooked up to several machines including a ventilator. Hot tears brimmed my eyes, as I walked closer to his bed. I laid my hand on his, feeling his sickly cold skin against my warmth. I bit my lip, trying to suppress the tears, but they wouldn’t stop falling.

“Al please wake up.” I whispered, gripping his hand with mine, “Please wake up. Your mom needs you, the guys need you…I need you. You’ve once again have become an important part of my life—I don’t know why I didn’t stop you from doing so, I guess I still had hope. Everything that’s happened in the past week, and the past years I can overlook… I just want you awake and in good health. Last night meant a lot to me, more than anything. I know you decided to go back to Kaci, and that’s okay.”

His heart monitor started going off hastily. I read his blood pressure, 130/83, his heart monitor started jumping. His sugar levels were fine, his O2 Stat was 98%. I reached behind me and grabbed a chair, pulling it under me.

“Al I want you to know that with whatever you decide to do from here on out, I’ll support, even if it’s seeing you with someone else. I don’t know what all Kaci said to you when yal talked, but it was a complete turnaround—I thought we were past that. But it’s okay, I’m used to it by now. I’ll be forever alone, but I’ll rock that shit. Just please wake up, okay?” I questioned, caressing his hand with the pad of my thumb. “You have visitors and it’s rude for you to keep them waiting.” I finished with a small laugh, his heart monitor quickening up a tad. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his forehead, his heart monitor going off quicker. “I do love you Al. That won’t ever change.”

I stood up and walked towards the door, opening it and seeing the Doctor talking to Denise and the others. I slid out and stood beside Marcus, I couldn’t help but to think about AJ. I looked up at Marcus, who gave me a small smile. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, bringing me into him. It broke my heart hearing Doctor Shumake tell Denise that he didn’t know what would happen when he woke nor did he know when he would wake.

“There is a good chance of Alexander may or may not have a case of retrograde amnesia. People suffering from retrograde amnesia are more likely to remember general knowledge rather than specifics. Recent memories are less likely to be recovered, but older memories will be easier to recall due to strengthening over time. Retrograde amnesia is usually temporary and can be treated by exposing them to memories from the loss. Another type of consolidation, process by which memories become stable in the brain, occurs over much longer periods of time/days, weeks, months and years and likely involves transfer of information from the hippocampus to more permanent storage site in the cortex; he was hit in the occipital lobe-- back of the head.” Doctor Shumake explained, my palms became clammy, Marcus ran his hand up and down my back, trying to calm me down.
“You can go in and talk to him, that’s been said to pull patients out of a coma.” The doctor added before walking away.

“I need to talk to you, Brian, Nick and Howie as soon as I can.” Marcus said, I nodded and walked to Brian, who wrapped his arms around me.

“Marcus needs to talk to me, you, Nick and Howie.” I said in his ear. He nodded and told Howie and Nick to follow us, and for Leigh and Lauren to stay with Denise. The five of us walked down the hall, to the waiting room.

“I was on the phone when everything was going on. He said that a man, the same one that he caught Kaci cheating on him with barged in his house. Kaci chose to go with the guy. From there, they were fighting and the guy took the baseball bat by J’s door and hit him over the head with it.” Marcus explained, I started shaking.

“Wait til I get my hands on her, and him if I find him, too.” I gritted out, as the tears fell out of my eyes. “He left me to go back to that, and this is what happens. Isn’t that just perfect?”

“Calm down babe.” Nick said, rubbing my shoulders, “Just stay calm until we figure all this out.” I nodded and laid my head on Brian’s shoulder, biting my lip.

“So what do we do?” Howie asked, looking at the four of us. “Postpone the tour?”

“We wake his ass up.” I said, “We have to keep talking to him.”

“Sounds like a game plan.” Howie said, before we started walking back towards his room. We all sat out in the hall as Denise was in with AJ. We started talking amongst ourselves.

“You guys remember when we started in the band? AJ came to us with a full song?” Brian asked with a smile on his face.

“I’ll Never Break Your Heart.” Nick said with a smile that mirrored Brian’s.

“I remember that. I remember he had For My Angel written at the top.” Howie said with a bright smile. “It took us forever to figure out who Angel was, because it was on everything he wrote: My Angel, My Angel 1, My Angel 2, My Angel 3, so on and so forth.”

“Who was it?” Lauren asked, looking at Nick.

“Me.” I said, biting the inside of my lip, “When we were younger he always called me Angel, when we got older it was Mada. He left it in my locker during our freshman year. I was dating this guy and I really liked him, he ended up cheating on me with one of my girlfriends because I didn’t want to have sex. It hurt like a motherfucker.”

“That’s so romantic.” Leigh said dreamily, making me blush. “I knew he was romantic, but not like that.”

“He was something back then, I’m sure through the years he brushed up on everything. I told him that I was writing off guys, he asked me out and I said no, because I was too hurt from that. I lost my virginity to him when I turned 15, we were both virgins.” I said almost in a trance, I wasn’t always this open about my non-existent love life.

“Really?” Nick asked, breaking out his bright smile. I nodded and chuckled.

“Yeah. One of the breaks yal had was the week of my birthday. Three weeks before my dad walked out on me. I stayed with Denise until she left with yal, then I stayed with Grams and Gramps.” I said, “But anyways enough of that. Let’s talk about something happy.”

“What about those pictures of Lay and AJ that he has in his wallet?” Howie said, looking at the guys, who nodded.

“And his bunk.” Nick added, with a smile. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“That was you?” Leigh asked, her eyes widened. I nodded and giggled.

“I have those same pictures back home. I’m telling you when we were younger we were attached.” I said with a small smile.

“Does he still have Dopey?” I asked, looking at Brian, then Nick, then Howie.

“You know about Dopey?” Brian asked gaping, I nodded and smiled.

“I guess you don’t know the story do yal?” I asked, they all shook their heads. “Okay, the school we went to had a play we were both in. I was Snow White and he was Dopey—back then he had a lisp and a stutter, which made me love him even more. Anyways, he was chosen for Dopey… he didn’t have any lines, he just stood there—Dopey was a mute, he just moved his arms, hands, and body. Dopey was always my favorite dwarf.” I said with a smile, I loved talking about our childhood, “When he first went away with yal, I bought it for him. I remember he hugged me as tight as he could and said he was going to keep it forever as he teared up. He tried to come up with a way of stuffing me in his suitcase so I could come with him.” I laughed, as did the others.

“I can see him doing that.” Lauren said, Leigh agreed.

“He was a trip back then, always tried to figure ways to get me to go with him. I couldn’t though, I couldn’t leave dad alone.” I said, biting my lip. “The best memories with him are the ones that I won’t ever let go of: the good, the bad, or the ugly. I’ve always loved Al, I’ve always depended on him for a lot of things. I mean he was all I ever known, he was my only true friend.”

“I love hearing old stories, it makes me see that there is more in depth than what he leads on. He’s not just some pompous asshole.” Lauren said, shrugging.

“Damn Law, tell us how you really feel.” I said, making everyone including Marcus laugh.

“It’s true. You never know someone until you hear their war stories.” She said figuratively.

“True. I just wish things were different. I missed him every day. I always called Denise to see if he was okay, I always asked how he acted. She knew I missed him.” I said, sighing heavily.

Lauren excused herself to the bathroom, leaving us alone. “Only AJ could make someone so pissed off at him to being worried about him in a day.” Brian said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. We agreed one-hundred percent on that, only AJ could do that.

“I know yal are pissed about this morning or last night, whenever he decided to leave… but can we put it behind us?” I asked, looking at each of them, “As much as I want to be mad, I can’t.”

“We can, but I still want to talk to him.” Nick said pointedly, Brian and Howie agreed with him pretty much saying they wanted to talk to him as well.

“Just keep it civil. I hate hospitals for personal reasons.” I said, as Lauren walked back towards us.

“I called Kevin and Kris, they’re on their way here.” Lauren said, looking over at Brian and I. We nodded, I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder. I checked my phone, it was only 5:32 PM, Denise had only been in there for an hour. I knew she was tired, this took a big toll on her.

“Nick, why don’t yal go back to your house and take Denise with yal? She needs rest.” I said, standing up. He looked at Lauren and nodded. “I’ll go get her, I just need yal to take her home, and let her get a nap, some food, anything.”

“Okay Lay.” He said, as Howie, Leigh, and Brian stood up as well, stretching their bodies. “You’re going to get her?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back. I love yal.” I said, hugging each of them.

“We love you, Lay.” Brian said, kissing my forehead. I smiled and knocked on the door that restricted AJ from the real world. I heard Denise call for me to come in. I pushed the door open and saw her smile over at me.

“Den, why don’t you go with Nick and everyone, take a nap, get something to eat. I’ll stay here until you come back, okay?” I asked, wrapping my arms around her. She cried in my shoulder, holding onto me tightly.

“This has got me so crazy thinking.” She cried, “I feel so helpless. My son is in a coma. I’ve been talking to him, he’s showed little movement—his heart monitor kind of quickened. Can you talk to him?”

“Of course Den. I was going to do that anyway. We need to wake his ass up, he doesn’t belong to the world of sleep, he belongs here with us.” I said, kissing her cheek. She smiled and nodded. “If he wakes up, I’ll call you, I promise.”

“Okay baby, I love you. Thank you so much for this.” She whispered, hugging me once more. I smiled and watched her walk out of his room. I looked back at AJ and sat down in the chair that I was sitting in earlier.

“You know, you’re cute when you sleep, but this isn’t the sleep that suits you. That’s why you need to wake your ass up. I’ll sing to you so you’ll wake up and tell me to shut the fuck up.” I said, laughing lightly. His heart monitor sped up a little, making me smile.

“So, what song shall I sing to you? Our favorite from back in the day, or some grungy rock song? Okay, our favorite it is then.” I said, “You sure you’re ready Al?” I asked, hearing his monitor quicken. I started humming to Cry Little Sister by G Tom Mac.

The last fire will rise, behind those eyes. Black house will rock, blind boys don’t lie. Immortal fear, that voice so clear. Through broken walls, that scream I hear.

Cry little sister, thou shall not fall; come, come to your brother, thou shall not fall. Unchain me sister, thou shall not fear. Love is to your bother, thou shall not kill.

Blue masquerade, strangers look up, when will they learn, this loneliness. Temptation heat, beats like a drum, deep in your veins.

I will not lie to little sister, thou shall not fall. Come, come to your brother, thou shall not fall. Unchain me sister, thou shall not fear. Love is to your bother, thou shall not kill.

My Shangri-la, I can’t forget. Why you were mine, I need you now.

Cry little sister, thou shall not fall; come, come to your brother, thou shall not fall. Unchain me sister, thou shall not fear. Love is to your bother, thou shall not kill.

Cry, cry, cry; thou shall not fall. Little sister, thou shall not fly, thou shall not steal. Love is with your bother, thou shall not kill.

I felt his hand squeeze mine gently, “Come back to me Al. Follow my voice, and come back to me. Do you want me to keep singing?”

After I answered, his heart monitor beeped fast again. I smiled and started thinking of songs to sing to him—I picked I’ll Be Missing You by Sting, he used to sing this when we were little.

Every breath you take, every move you make. Every bond you break, every step you take; I’ll be watching you.

Every single day, every word you say. Every game you play, every night you stay; I’ll be watching you.

Oh, can’t you see, you belong to me; my poor heart aches with every step you take.

Every move you make, every vow you break; every smile you fake, every claim you stake; I’ll be watching you.

Since you’ve gone I been lost without a trace, I dream at night I can only see your face. I look around but its you I can’t replace; I feel so cold and I long for your embrace, I keep crying baby, baby please.

As I sang the bridge, his grip on my hand drew tighter and tighter. My heart started racing faster and faster.

Every move you make, every vow you break. Every smile you fake, every claim you stake; I’ll be watching you.

After I finished the song, I thought it would be best to talk to him again. “Okay Al, this is getting old. This isn’t you. You are not the type to be in a hospital… I can’t believe you’re here, I can’t believe this happened to you. You must know I love you at least in the smallest epic portion that I can because you know I fucking hate hospitals. The smell is just gut wrenching. If I didn’t care for you as much as I do, I wouldn’t be here. Fucking be thankful I am, you know how I am when something fucks with my feelings… and you sir did that this morning.” I rambled, “It may not have meant something to you, but it meant something to me, a lot. It felt like we reconnected, I mean really. Think back to when we were kids. You were my first kiss, I was yours—I punched you in the stomach, and you cried like a big girl. I loved you then and I love you now.”

At a moment’s silence, I sighed, trying to come up with something else to say. I had a feeling that he knew I was talking but my luck, he would wake up and have amnesia and not even know who I was.

“I remember when my mom was in the hospital, I didn’t quite understand the consequences, I didn’t know that that was the last time I would ever see her again. What got me through it was you, and now it feels like we’re back to square one, but you’re not here to get me through it, it’s me that has to get you through it. I guess you were right when you told me I needed to quit depending on you. Some reason I can’t get past that, I don’t ever think that there will be a time that I won’t depend on you… even if it’s for a pick-me-up or for a smile—you always made me smile.” I said, laying my right cheek on our hands, so I could see him.

“It’s weird seeing you in here. When Denise told me, I couldn’t help but to think the worst. I didn’t know if today would’ve been the last day I saw you ever. I didn’t know the extent of your head trauma. I didn’t want you to leave without me saying goodbye and telling you what I needed to tell you. It scares me because you have me in the palm of your hands, that’s what scares me the most, and I think it’s because I know what you’re capable of.” I said, staring at him intently.

“I know you love me, when you told me you did I believed you, and deep down I still believe that. Brian and I talked, he said that some of the songs that you did write were about me they all had For My Angel on them. It’s weird just hearing that because of us not talking, I thought that you were done with me. I think how things would’ve been if that night didn’t happen, would we be together? Would we end up hating each other? I think about things like that a lot… more that I actually care to admit.” I said before I started humming I Still… I closed my eyes and let the words flow.

Who are you now? Are you still the same? Or did you change somehow? What do you do, at this very moment when I think of you? And when I'm looking back, how we were young and stupid. Do you remember that?

No matter how I fight it, Can't deny it, just can't let you go. I still need you, I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done, I still feel you. Like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you.

Now look at me. Instead of moving on, I refuse to see. That I keep coming back. Yeah, I'm stuck in a moment, that wasn't meant to last, to last. I

try to fight it, can't deny it. You don't even know. That I still need you, I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done. I still feel you, like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you, whoah oh.

I wish I could find you, just like you found me. Then I, will never let you go, oh. Though everything's been said and done, yeah. I still feel you, like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you.

After finishing the song, I leaned up and kissed his forehead. I hovered over him studying his sleeping and peaceful structure. I watched as his eyes moved under his eyelids, “Come to me Al. Come back to me.” I whispered, watching his eyes flutter open. I smiled, “Welcome back, Al. Let me call your nurse to get you tube out, just keep calm, okay?”

He nodded scarcely, I pressed the Nurse Call button, “Yes?”

“He’s awake, can you take his tube out?” I questioned.

“Oh yes mam, right away.” She replied, making me smile.

“Okay, thank you so much.” I thanked her, before walking to the door and sticking my head out seeing Marcus still there, “Marc, he’s awake. The nurse is coming to take his tube out.”

He stood up and smiled, walking in behind me. We sat beside the bed, and waited for the nurse to come in. I grabbed my phone and called Denise, leaving her a voicemail telling her he was awake. I then sent a group text out: AJ’s awake, come quick!

The nurse walked in with Dr. Shumake, “Hey Mr. McLean, I’m Dr. Shumake, now, when I start taking out your tube, I need you to take a deep breath then breath out slowly, okay?”

AJ nodded and looked at me, I knew he was scared. He reached for my hand, I smiled and squeezed it gently. “I’m here.” The nurse was taking records of his stats off every machine.

“Alright, Mr. McLean, I need you to take a deep breath for me, then exhale as I pull the tub out, okay?” Dr. Shumake asked, AJ nodded, as his eyes adverted to me.

“Just do as he says, and look at me, okay?” I asked, he nodded and took a deep breath then exhaled slowly as Dr. Shumake pulled the tube out—his hand clenched to mine.

“Okay, Mr. McLean, take several breaths, let you and your lungs get re-calibrated. I’ll have Stacey get you some water and anything else you need, alright?” The Doctor asked, looking down at him.

“Okay.” AJ rasped out, “Can I get something for the headache I have?”

“Of course.” Dr. Shumake started, “I need to ask you some questions: What is your name?”

“AJ McLean.” AJ answered.

“Who is that woman beside you?” Dr. Shumake asked.

“My Angel.” AJ answered sheepishly.

“Who’s that man beside her?” Dr. Shumake questioned.

“My bodyguard, Marcus.” AJ replied.

“One more, what is today’s date?” He asked.

“March 21st.” AJ answered, making Dr. Shumake smile.

“Great, I’ll have your medicine to you in a few. Get some rest.” He said, looking at AJ. AJ nodded as he walked out the room, leaving Marcus, AJ and I alone.

“Everyone is on their way.” I said, looking at AJ, who smiled.

“You woke me up.” He whispered, I nodded and caressed his hand with my thumb. “Your voice is still as beautiful as it was when we were kids.”

“Thank you Al.” I replied, looking at Marcus. “Do you think he’ll be ready for tour?”

“He should be. I know the police has to talk to him; Kaci was supposed to open for the guys.” He said, making me furrow my eyebrows. For being in the music business, it seemed that I didn’t have a clue as to what was going on.

“Marcus can I talk to Mada alone for a few?” AJ asked Marcus, who nodded and stepped out the room quickly. “Thank you for being here. If I was you, I wouldn’t have even let the thought cross my mind. You didn’t deserve to wake up to a note, or anything like that. I am so sorry—I’m so stupid it’s unreal.”

“Stop Al. It’s water under the bridge.” I said, with a small smile, but he refused.

“It can’t be Angel; what I done can’t be over looked.” He said, sitting up in the bed.

“I can forget about it, don’t worry about it AJ.” I said, trying to forget about it, but I knew it was going to be impossible.

“I realized when I got to California what a mistake I did make. I shouldn’t have left like I did; I shouldn’t have left period. I need to quit running from my problems and when I get scared.” He said, I tried to speak, but he stopped me, “That’s been my problem all along. I run from everything, especially when I get comfortable and safe. When I read your message you sent me about the note, it cut me like a thousand knives. It hurt me knowing that I hurt you. And I promise from here on out, I will never hurt you again.”

“Al I forgive you, I promise. You’re still my Al.” I said, making him smile.

“You’re My Angel, My Mada.” He replied, I nodded as a knock on the door sounded. “Come in.” He called. It was the nurse, the guys and girls, and Denise. “Hey fellas, hey mom, hey ladies.”

“Oh baby, I’m so happy you’re awake!” Denise exclaimed, walking around on the other side of AJ, hugging him gently.

“Thanks to Mada, she pulled me out.” He said with a smile. I grinned and looked at Denise, who couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. “How long have you been here Mada?”

“I don’t know, why?” I asked, looking at him.

“Marc take Mada to my house and let her rest, get her some food.” He said giving prompt directions to Marcus. I shook my head in dismay.

“No, I’m fine Al, I promise.” I said, “I can stay.”

“No, you can barely hold your eyes open. You’ve been here for a long time. Go relax, have a shower, eat and sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, looking at me. I went to say something, but he shook his head, “Go.”

I sighed, before I hugged everyone, saving AJ for last. I hugged and kissed his cheek before I turned and followed Marcus. Marcus and I got into the Denali and headed towards AJ’s house. Saying I was disappointed was an understatement; I was livid.

“Calm down.” Marcus said as we pulled into a Checkers to get something to eat. We both ordered, then started back talking, “So, AJ told me a lot about you.”

“Why would he do that?” I wondered, as we pulled up to the window.

“Because he loves you.” He said, looking at me as he handed the woman money for our food. I rolled my eyes.

“Really?” I asked quizzically. Marcus handed me our food and nodded, receiving the change from the woman at the window. He said a quick thanks and drove off.

“Yeah, it’s not really rocket science, Lay.” He said, looking over at me. I nodded absentmindedly, “He called me this morning, when he left Florida. You could hear the hurt in his voice as he walked away. He told me everything that happened years ago.”

“Oh, well, I’m an open book now, huh?” I asked, eating a seasoned fry from the bag.

“Him yes, you not so much. This past week, I couldn’t stop him from talking about you. He’s never done that ever over a lady. When I was first signed to him as a bodyguard, he was on a drunk bender one night, he spilled everything. You know, the only time I ever saw him cry other than at his grandma’s funeral was that night and any night that he had dreams. He spilled everything.” Marcus spoke as we went down the highway, I sat there listening attentively. “I will never forget what he said that night. I remember him crying out for you in the middle of the night, he’d wake up crying, hyperventilating, and scared. He was spiraling out of control.”

“I don’t know what to say, Marcus. I never wanted to see AJ go through that—after our childhood, he deserved the world. Denise deserves the world, as does the guys.” I said, “When he said those things, I’ll admit, it cut me live a knife. I always thought I hated him, but I didn’t. I was blinded by the hatred, but it wasn’t just that. Betrayal, hurt was what it was. I never resented him, I always wished well for him. If he was happy away from me, then that’s what it took—I would’ve been happy for him.” I said, looking over at him.

He seemed to understand, “I see what you’re saying. You’ve been there through the bad times and good times with him, granted they were when yal were younger… you knew when something was wrong with him.”

“Yeah, I’ll never forget the many nights that he cried after his dad walked out on him, and we were young as hell. My mom died when I was six, his dad actually left when he was eight. He and Denise were divorced when he was four, but Denise did everything possible to work it out with his dad. I sat up many night thinking about that night.” I said, lighting up a cigarette, “I’ll never forget the look on Denise’s face when he grabbed his shit and left. AJ cried, which made me cry. We were best friends; always attached to the hip, even up to when we started sophomore year before he dropped out for BSB full time.”

“You can’t break young love.” He said, looking over at me as we stopped at a red light, “That’s why you never hated him, just felt betrayed and hurt.”

“Marcus, you sure you’re not a therapist? I think you’re in the wrong field.” I said, smiling widely. He grinned and chuckled, then shook his head.

“Always been J’s bodyguard.” He said, pulling into AJ’s house. It was AJ to say the least, it scared me to see the inside, I’m sure I was about to step into AJ all over again—what a scary thought, the world already has one AJ McLean I don’t think it could handle an open house full of him.

Marcus and I got out the Denali and headed to the door. He unlocked it quickly, stepping inside as he looked around making sure everything was okay. I closed the door behind and took in the house full of AJ. It was beautiful, it was nothing but Alexander James McLean.

Marcus and I sat at the table and began eating our food in silence. After we finished, he showed me to AJ’s room, assured me that there was a new bed, new sheets on his bed as well. With a thank you, I turned into AJ’s room and looked around. There were pictures of us everywhere, it made me question everything.

I sat on the bed and sighed, before grabbing my phone and walked into the bathroom. I found chamomile and lavender bubble bath. I ran the garden tub full the bubbles brimmed the top. I stripped my clothes and slid in, letting the hot water consume me. My phone beeped notifying me of a text message; it was from AJ.

I miss you. I hope you sleep sweet. You don’t know how happy it made me to see your beautiful face, to hear your beautiful voice. Thank you for pulling me out. I love you Angel - Al.

I smiled, feeling tears brim my eyes. I breathed heavily and started to reply back.

I miss you, I could’ve stayed Al. I’m in a bubble bath in your beautiful tub. You don’t belong in a hospital bed in a coma. You belong in the real world with all of us. I wanted you out, you responded each time—at least your heart did. I love you Al.
I closed my eyes, waiting for a witty reply from him. As I settled in the tub, my phone beeped again.

I can’t believe you’re taking a bubble bath without me! That’s so wrong, can’t believe that! ;) Now all I can think about is that. The doctor said that he’s coming in in a few hours to run tests on my head. I wish you was here.

I replied as quick as I could:

I’ll come back. Marcus is down stairs still. Let me wash and get dressed and I’ll be back there in a blink of an eye.

Just as quick as I sent one, he replied:

NO, you need rest. You need to relax and sleep. There is a new bed, new sheets in my bedroom so sleep. Angel, I promise I’m okay. Calm down, and rest. I hope to be out of here by tomorrow. The day after we’re supposed to go to Boston for the video shoot.

I sighed feeling helpless. I wanted to be there for him.

Fine, you make me so mad I have you to know. That’s why your tub is filled with bubbles and a naked me. Ha! Put that in your pipe and smoke it. You need to take your own advice and get some rest. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

I turned the iPod on and started listening to More Than That. AJ’s voice swarmed the bathroom, I’ve always loved his voice. My phone beeped once more, I grabbed my phone and read the message.

That’s not nice! I would love to be there with you in MY tub with MY bubbles with MY Angel, but no I had to be stupid come back home and get knocked the fuck out. Now, I’m stuck here. The mean nurse just pumped my IV with some kind of medicine, my whole body is numb. I think she’s trying to get me to go to sleep. Please rest, okay?

I replied with a quick text back:

That’s easier said than done, Al. You need to sleep, now. I love you, and since you won’t let me come back tonight, I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, goodnight.

Before I knew it, he had replied:

I love you Angel, sleep sweet. Goodnight.

I put my phone on Do Not Disturb, and closed my eyes, sinking down in the tub. My body ached, it wasn’t all just from dancing like I did earlier that day; it was mentally aching. Falling into a light sleep—I jolted as my phone rang loudly, it was Brian.

“Hello?” I asked, standing up from the cold water. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me.

“Hey Lay, you okay?” Brian asked, he was like a big brother to me.

“Yeah, I just got out the tub. Marcus and I ate, we’re at AJ’s now. I was told that there was a new bed and new sheets in AJ’s room. Oh my God, Bri, he has got pictures of us all over his room.” I rambled, making him laugh.

“I know,” He started, “You need rest big time. The Doctor came and got AJ for the head scan—you know how AJ is with tight spaces.” He and I laughed.

“Yeah, he was like that when we were kids. Are yal staying?” I questioned, getting ready for bed.

“I am, Denise is, too.” He replied, I nodded and pulled the covers back on AJ’s bed and laid down. I plugged my phone up and sighed. “You okay?”

“I will be. I want to be there, but he doesn’t want me to.” I said, closing my eyes.

“It’s not that, babe. He does but he knows you’re tired.” He said, making me nod.

“Yeah, but I’ll see you in the morning. Thank you Bri. I love you.” I said with a small smile.

“I love you Lay, you don’t have to thank me.” He replied, “Bye sweetie, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bye.” I replied, hanging up. It wasn’t long before I fell into a deep sleep—I was in my own coma, I felt my body shut down with each breath I took.