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Dear Remus


Remus stared in the tiny mirror he’d stolen from a drawer in Madam Pomfrey’s desk, turning it to see the different angles of his nose, the great scar stretched across it. All of Pomfrey’s efforts to disappear the scar had failed. She’d frowned and put every kind of ointment she could think of on the raw skin, but none had even so much as faded the scarlet mark. Finally, Pomfrey had sighed and ran her hand over the curls at Remus’s forehead and looked into his eyes, “I’m sorry,” she’d said. “Only time will heal it.”

But he wasn’t so sure it would ever.

The door of the hospital wing opened and Remus slid the mirror under his pillow, not wanting anyone to see what he’d been doing.

Newt Scamander walked into the room. He waited at the little desk for a moment for Pomfrey to come out of her office and then he said, quietly, almost conspiratorially, “Would it be possible, Poppy, to - to uh, to uh have you put together a bit of an ointment for me? Just a small jar… I uh, I have the ingredients I need in it here, on a list.” He pulled a small parchment from the pocket of what appeared to be a travelling cloak.

Madam Pomfrey looked over the list a moment. “Aconite?” she asked, looking up, “It’s poison.”

Newt shook his head, “N-not in the use we’re applying it for, I assure you… Just a couple sprigs… serves an important purpose…”

Madam Pomfrey said, “Well, I’ll need to see the Potions Master for the aconite. You’ll need to wait here for the balm…”

Newt stood there rather awkwardly as he waited - Pomfrey hurrying from the ward. It was the first time that Remus had ever seen the man without his briefcase and it was rather obvious he was sort of lost without it, unsure what to do with his hands, for in a short period of time he folded them in front of them, clasped them behind him, put them on his hips, let them hang, and then folded them across his chest. When Newt finally looked his way, he paused, staring at him for a long moment, then glanced back over his shoulder the way Pomfrey had gone, and came over toward him.

Remus looked down at the blankets on the bed, wishing Newt would just leave him alone.

But Newt did quite the opposite. He grabbed hold on the stool that Sirius had left by Remus’s bedside and pulled it up closer to the nightstand and he looked at Remus for a moment. “Lyall Lupin’s son,” Newt commented.

Remus nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“Remus,” Newt added, nodding. “Yes… I’ve heard an awful lot about you.”

Remus looked up in surprise, “My father talks about me?”

“From Ned Veigler, I meant,” Newt said.

“Oh.” Remus felt a sickness rise up in him. “I dunno if you’ve heard… what’s happened…”

Newt nodded, “Yes… horrible incident... horrible…” He paused, looking at Remus as the boy looked back down at the duvet covering his legs and he reached out a palm, awkwardly lying it on Remus’s forearm. “I hear you’re quite good at keeping, uh, keeping secrets.”

Remus looked up, their eyes met.

“You see… There are times when a person needs to disappear, in order to let the, uh, the doors of the past close behind them. When a man needs to disappear, only a very few people can know he’s done it, or else it’s not disappearing at all… you understand?”

“Not really,” Remus answered.

Newt looked over his shoulder to be sure they were alone, then leaned closer. “I’ve a lab, you see, in my briefcase. It’s sort of a… a travelling research facility… quite illegal, I’m sure, very few people know of it…” he paused. “I’ve recently acquired a new tenant that has agreed to stay on as an assistant.”

Remus felt a spark of hope rise up in him. “Mr. Scamander… are you saying…?”

Pomfrey returned at that moment, coming n the door behind Newt, who stood up.

“He only had a few sprigs in his store,” Madam Pomfrey said, “Give me a moment and I’ll whip this up… Do tell me, what purpose does this balm serve?”

“Well, Poppy, it does wonders on wounds inflicted by magical beasts…” Newt answered, and he turned, starting to go and join Pomfrey at the desk as she laid down the aconite leaves and turned to her store cupboard.

Seeing the leaves made Remus hope even harder and he was frantic. “Wait, Mr. Scamander, is he--?” Remus asked desperately, trying to keep his words vague enough that Newt would consider finishing what he had to say.

Newt Scamander paused a moment and glanced at Pomfrey’s distracted back a moment, then reached into a pocket on the inside of his cloak and removed a small envelope, dropping it onto Remus’s lap. “Read it later,” he commanded, “When you’re alone.” Then Newt ducked away toward the desk. “Very potent, this balm.. It’s uh, uh a creation my assistant’s made…”

Remus stared at the envelope, at the scrawling of his name on the front of it, and a thrill went through him. It was Veigler’s handwriting. He stuffed it under his pillow with the mirror, wishing that it were later and he were alone and he could rip it open and find out what it said.

When Pomfrey had finished mixing the balm for Newt, she poured it into a small jar and handed it to him. “You’ll want to give it some time and some cool air for it to set, of course, but there you have it…” she said. She looked him over, “Are you leaving us, Mr. Scamander? I see you’ve got your travelling cloak on.”

“Yes, yes,” Newt said, “I’ve got to run back to London quickly, I’ve some things to collect there, but then I’m off… I’ve heard there’s been some sightings of some creatures in Germany that the Ministry worries may be the results of some strange breeding and I’ve got to look into it… get them classified…”

“How exciting,” Pomfrey said. She looked at the little jar she’d just handed over to him, “I suppose this is a special formula for the new breeding, then?”

“Uh.. yes, I suppose, sort of, yes,” Newt said. He glanced at the balm in his hand, then back at Remus for just the slightest beat. He looked at Pomfrey, “Perhaps just a spot… on…” he ran his finger across his temple and nose. “It will help the scarring.”

Madam Pomfrey glanced at Remus, then back to Newt. “On the boy?”

Newt nodded. “Just a scotch.”

She stared at him in surprise.

“I’ve got to go, my assistant’s waiting for this balm… Do take care, Poppy,” he smiled and turned, headed for the door. He paused for the briefest moment in the frame of it, his eyes twinkling as he looked back at Remus… and then he winked and left for good.

Pomfrey glanced at the list that he’d left behind, still sitting on her desk, then looked over at Remus, and turned, hastening to use the leftover ingredients to mix up another pot of the balm. “We’ll see once it sets what it is that Newt’s recommended,” she said to Remus from her desk. She looked at the clock, “For now, it’s time for sleep.” She came over and held up a little blue bottle of an elixir for good dreams. “You need your rest.”

When she’d administered the sleeping draught to Remus, his lids were heavy, and he watched her go about the ward, neatening things a moment, then she tucked the duvet ‘round Remus gently, turned low the lamp by his bed, and disappeared into her office.

Remus reached under his pillow and pulled out the envelope Newt Scamander had left behind and slid his thumb beneath the seal, opening it up. Inside was a folded piece of parchment and Remus shook it open.


Remus,
First of all, I am alive. I am sure you have wondered, after our fight and how I disappeared in the Forest. I only pray that I did not hurt you much. I feel terrible that it came to that, that I allowed the darkness to control my mind to the point that I allowed it to have me attack you. You! Of all people. You’re the closest to a friend I’ve had in any member of “our kind”... and I’ll never forget you.
I wish that it were simpler, getting away from the demons that hunt and haunt me. I would stay with you at Hogwarts and teach you everything I could about dealing with our
Furry Little Problems as you once called our condition. But Greyback is far too vengeful against me to let me go; if I stayed, I would be dead by the next full moon.
Newt Scamander is a good man, however, and whatever the Ministry and the Wizarding World may think of him, given his politics, the man is a friend to the werewolf. He has offered me refuge of a sort that even Albus Dumbledore could not give, and not only that but a grand adventure that I shall get to become a part of. So, if you were worried for me, do not be any longer. Know that I am, finally, for the first time in my life, safe. It is a good feeling.
Secondly, and I hope i am not overstepping my bounds here, you’ll have to forgive me if I am for I cannot see your face for visual cues as I write this, of course, but about Sirius Black and the situation of your status of Beta wolf… The more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me. You never told me, exactly, but I recall the look in your eyes when you told me what Sirius had done for you, and the way the two of you have acted with one another during classes.
Remus, I was rather blunt when we spoke about the position that Beta usually carries in a pack, possibly more so than I should have been, and I apologize if what I said about the Alpha dominating a Beta was offensive to you. I apologize if what I am about to say is offensive as well. I’m aware that these are rough times that we live in, unaccepting times. I’ve heard what the other kids say about you and Sirius Black, and I want you to know that they are cruel bullies, bullies who fear what they do not understand. Do not let a bully take away from you. Do not let the negative responses destroy the joy of falling in love, if that is what it is.
Remus, I want you to know that I think you are an exceedingly strong and extraordinary boy. You’ll do amazing things. I believe in you - be sure to believe in yourself.
Sincerely,
Ned P. Veigler.


Remus felt a lump rise up in his throat and he folded the letter and put it back into the envelope. He felt tears in his eyes as he pushed it back beneath his pillow.

He had laid down and the sleeping potion was slipping through his veins, weighing down his mind and his eyelids as he contemplated the words Professor Veigler had said to him in the note. He was nearly asleep when the hospital wing door creaked open, apparently of its very own accord, and then slipped closed. There was a pause… and then the stool beside the bed moved by itself, pushing closer… and Remus smiled, holding out his outstretched palm as Sirius Black pulled the invisibility cloak off himself.

“Hey you,” he whispered. “How’re you feeling tonight?”

“A bit better,” whispered Remus, thinking of the good news that Professor Veigler was alive and safe. He scootched over in the bed and patted the mattress beside him.

Sirius climbed in, kicking his feet under the duvet. “They’re letting you out soon, aren’t they?” he asked quietly.

“I dunno,” Remus answered.

Sirius snuggled up into the pillow, his thick black hair falling across his face. Remus reached out instinctively and pushed some of it back and Sirius laughed. His hand slid under the pillow and he felt the mirror, pulling it out. Sirius stared at it a moment in his palm, then looked at Remus.

“I was just looking at the scar,” Remus said quietly. A bit of the edge of the anxiety he’d felt before edged back into his voice as he recalled how hideous he looked now. He took the mirror back and pushed it under the pillow once again. “I know it’s ugly.”

Sirius shook his head, “It’s not ugly.”

“Yeah it is.”

Sirius shook his head, “I don’t think it is. You got it saving my life. I’d be a goner if not for you, Rey.”

Remus blinked and a single tear fell, slipping over the scar in question. It stung a little.

Sirius reached up and swept the tear away from Remus’s cheek with his fingertip, and a slight smile turned the very corner of his lips at the touch. “Sirius --” Remus started, as Sirius’s fingers slid away from his face.

But Sirius shook his head, “Shh. Go to sleep, Rey.”