- Text Size +
The Stag in the Forest


Lily stared at the stag as he stood there at the edge of the clearing, blinking at her, frozen in his stance, timid. Slowly… he took a step forward. He seemed almost wobbly on his feet, like he wasn’t entirely sure he knew if he could take the step. “It’s okay,” she breathed, the tears still slipping from her eyes. She sniffled, “It’s alright, I won’t hurt you.”

The stag took another step. She could see the round black nose on his face was moist and wiggling ever so slightly as he breathed. His antlers were a little stuck in the brush and he ducked them and tilted his head to free the big bony things. Freed, he took two more steps toward her and his form came into the circle of moonlight she was standing in and the light flashed on his fur, making him almost appear white, as he’d looked in all her dreams.

Suddenly, she was crying for a whole other reason.

“I’ve dreamed of you,” she whispered thickly, and she held out her palm like she’d done in her dreams and the stag neared and he lowered his majestic neck down to bring his snout right to her palm and sniffed her hand gently. His breath was warm and she could barely believe that it was really happening. Surely she would wake up back in her dormitory at any moment. “Hello,” she whispered. “I’m Lily Evans.” She smiled and the stag softly slid it’s nose beneath her palm, nodding so that her fingers slipped onto his face. She giggled, his fur surprisingly softer at his nose than she would have expected. Not that she’d ever really expected to touch a stag in life, but in all the times she’d thought about her dream, she’d never once expected his nose to be soft.

The stag moved his head from her hand and tentatively moved so he was sniffling toward her face and she laughed at the sound of his nose and the way the nostrils sort of flapped and he softly licked her tears. Lily closed her eyes lightly and and giggled at the way the stag’s tongue sort of flickered like a hummingbird’s wings. When he stopped, he stepped back and stood in a way so that he was bent down, staring into her eyes. “Thank you,” she said.

The stag’s eyes seemed to sparkle.

Gently she reached up and ran a palm over the sides of his face, the fur grew thicker there as she slowly moved her hand closer to his neck and shoulders. He was the most beautiful creature she’d ever seen. The stag watched patiently as she stood up slowly and bit her lip and softly ran her hands down to his shoulders, stroking the thicker fur. “I can’t believe you’re real.”

The stag blinked at her and she smiled, thinking that she’d seen those eyes before somewhere… they were just so gentle and so loving… She supposed she’d seen them in her dreams.

“You’re a bit of a hero, you know, coming when you did. I had a broken heart and you’ve managed to pick up the pieces a bit. I’ll bet you’ve never had a broken heart. You’re so wonderful that I bet you’re probably the king of all the does.” She laughed at the thought of it. “Am I right? A total womanizer, I’ll bet.”

Lily kept stroking the stag’s neck and he made a funny honking sound that came from deep in his throat that sounded sort of like a laugh and Lily laughed, too.

“Oh you think that’s funny, do you?” she asked. “Well, that is just like a boy.”

She sighed, “So long as you respect your doe, that’s what’s important. Don’t go… picking at her brains and slipping her love potions and the like and your doe won’t go running off into the city and meet some handsome man like this but in reverse. It’s good advice for any stag to live by.” She smiled sadly. “That’s what’s happened, you know, what’s why I’m crying. My friend’s betrayed me, and there’s this other boy that’s going to gloat all about it tomorrow because he told me and he was right…” she sighed and looked down at her hands on his fur. “It hurts enough that it happened without him gloating he was right.”

The stag nuzzled her shoulder a little and she smiled, “You’d never gloat, I’m sure, would you?”

He made the funny noise in his throat again and Lily laughed but even as she did, all the emotions of what happened back at the castle filled her up again, and she started to cry and the laughter turned into sobs and tears fell over her face again. “Oh I’m so stupid,” she choked. “Why didn’t I see it before? I’m supposed to be so smart but I don’t feel it, I just feel dumb and so very alone, really. I’m not sure I fit in. I knew I fit in with Severus, I knew it because he was always there for me before, when we were at home, but the last three years… with his friends… I haven’t really fit in because of my stupid blood… I’m not a true witch, you know, I’m a muggle-born and --” she was started to slur her words together so she was becoming harder to understand and soon she didn’t know even what she was saying anymore as she dissolved into a quivering mass of tears.

Carefully, the deer took a step toward her and he put his great head so that it was over her back and rested his chin on her shoulder, keeping his antlers tilted away. It was like… like he was hugging her. She was dumbfounded for a moment and then she gave in to it and wrapped her arms around his great big neck, burying her face into his neck. Her fingers sliced through the fur and she clutched on.




Meanwhile, back at the castle, Marlene came back inside, “She’s run off, I can’t keep up… I hope she’s alright.” She looked concerned.

“James went after them,” said Sirius from behind his hands, “She’ll be okay, he’ll bloody die before he lets anybody hurt her, Snape’s the one you should be worried about. Except he’s Snape, so bugger him.”

Marlene came over and reached for Sirius’s hands, “Let me see what he’s done.”

“No,” Sirius stepped back quickly, “No, you can’t see.”

“Sirius, I’ll fix it,” Marlene said.

“No,” Sirius shook his head. “It’s okay, I’ll… I’ll go see Pomfrey or - or somebody.” He started toward the stairs, “Really. I’ll be fine. You stay here, wait for Lily to come back... I just - I gotta go.”

Marlene looked concerned as he backed up them.

“It’s been lovely, good time, I’ll see you - what - tomorrow? Maybe the Ravenclaw courtyard before breakfast? I’ll meet you there, walk you to the Great Hall, alright?” Sirius nodded, “Yeah. I’ll see you then.” And he turned and rushed up the stairs, leaving Marlene in the entrance hall, staring after him.

Standing between Severus Snape and the doorway that Lily Evans had just run through had turned to be a lot more risky a duel than Sirius had counted on. Snape had not been playing around when he raised his wand and the resulting spell had hit Sirius right in the face and now --

Sirius pushed open the Gryffindor dormitory room and there was Remus, still sitting on the bed, still reading. He looked up when Sirius came running in and slammed the door, hands covering his mouth. “You’re back early,” Remus commented, “Not enough girls to snog in the Great Hall for you?”

Sirius lowered his hands, “Help me,” he begged.

Remus’s eyes widened.

Sirius’s mouth and nose had been replaced by a squat orange duck bill.

“How in the ruddy hell did you get that?” Remus asked, flinging aside his book and standing up to go over and inspect Sirius’s face.

“Snivellus,” said Sirius, the duck bill flapping.

Remus grabbed his wand from his desk, “Lumos,” he said, then, “Open wide. I’m going to stick my wand up in your mouth a moment.”

“Are you talking dirty to me, Rey?”

Remus’s face flushed the deepest red. “Shut up talking and open your beak or I’ll leave you like this and you can explain to Marlene McKinnon and whoever else you’re snogging why your lips are gone,” Remus threatened.

Sirius opened the bill as wide as he could as Remus ducked low and looked about inside with the wand. “It looks like it’s just a transfiguration spell,” Remus said, looking inside, “It’s not an actual curse from what I can tell, which would’ve been unfortunate…”

“Yes, very unfortunate,” said Sirius, his voice funny as he had to keep the bill open. “What can you do to fix it?”

Remus thought for a moment, then waved his wand and said, “Reversio incantantum.” He tapped the bill and there was a funny sucking, cracking sound and Sirius’s nose and mouth were back to normal. “There you are,” Remus said, “Good as new.”

“Bloody hell,” Sirius said, running his fingers over his face, “I’ve never been so glad to feel my own stupid nose before. Look at it,” he added, looking at the mirror on the wall, “It’s magnificent. Don’t you think so?”

“Are you going to cease speaking to me if I say yes?” Remus asked, and he turned back to his bed and crawled back onto it, “Or act all awkward and make sneaking remarks about it while you play chess with Potter?”

Sirius looked abashed. “I’m sorry, Rey.”

Remus shrugged, “It’s fine. I understand. It wasn’t very fair of me to kiss you like that, and I shouldn’t have done it. But I wish you’d let it go because of all the things I’ve ever done in my life, that is one that I regret the most.”

Sirius was still rubbing his nose absently. “You regret kissing me?” he asked.

“More than anything,” Remus replied, opening his book back up.

Sirius considered this a moment, and he wondered why he felt sort of… upset… that Remus regretted kissing him. He went over to his bed and sat down a moment, thinking, then he asked, “Was it because it was a bad kiss?”

“Your lips were dry,” complained Remus.
br> “Yes, well, we’d just been at Quidditch practice. Your lips get chapped out on the brooms in the sky. Especially in March when it’s cold and the air’s biting anyway… My lips aren’t usually dry.”

“Well good for you for having wet lips then,” Remus said.

Sirius didn’t know why, but he suddenly felt quite challenged. “Marlene never complains that my lips are dry.”

“Marlene’s a very lucky girl, always getting sloppy wet kisses in the courtyards all over the school.”

“I’ve taken her down to the trophy room passage, too,” Sirius said, gloating. “We snogged there for an entire class period once. Remember that Care of Magical Creatures class neither of us showed up for back in April? That’s where we were. She’s great at snogging.”

“Brilliant,” Remus answered, and he turned the page of his book, not really giving a damn what Sirius was saying.

Sirius said, “And tonight, she was gonna snog me tonight, too, but then Snivellus ducked me up and I couldn’t snog her anymore on account of the bill.”

“Well there’s still time, you could go find her now,” Remus answered.

“Nawh, she’s already gone to bed.” Sirius didn’t really want to go snog with Marlene. He was busy trying to make Remus see that he wasn’t bad at kissing. He looked at his trainers a moment, then he asked, “Was the dry lips the only reason you regretted it?”

Remus took a deep breath, “There were loads of reasons, but that was one of them.”

“What else? I mean, I didn’t really kiss back, so you can’t judge my technique by it. I would’ve done much better if I’d been trying or if I’d had some warning, you know,” Sirius said defensively.

Remus lowered the book and looked over at him. “Sirius, I regret it because you’ve been a total arsehole to me ever since. Until you need me to transfigure a duckbill off your face, that is.”

Sirius hung his head, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re forgiven. But I still regret doing it,” Remus said, and he turned back to the book. “And also I don’t want to hear about how wonderful a kisser you are with Marlene because that just makes me wish it had gone differently when I kissed you and that maybe you didn’t - didn’t reject me and that… that maybe I could’ve been… the one you’re kissing.” Remus’s face was pink, he hadn’t meant to say that last bit, really, it’d just sort of come out.

Sirius looked down at his trainers. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Remus replied. “Just… please. You don’t know what you do to me when you’re talking about it like that. It literally hurts inside, Sirius.”

“You like me that much?” Sirius asked.

“You know how James is about Lily?”

Sirius nodded.

Remus laughed, “It’s worse, Sirius. It’s so much worse.” He looked back at his book, his face red, not able to even think about looking at Sirius. He’d said far, far too much already.

Sirius’s voice was sincere, “I’m sorry, mate. I didn’t realize.”

Remus nodded.

“I didn’t know anybody could feel like that about me. I’m… just me.” Sirius shrugged. “I’m a colossal big mouthed pain in the arse - I mean I have good hair, and a rather magnificent nose when it’s not a duckbill, but - I’m not anything really special otherwise. I mean I’m alright. I’m a nice guy and all, but --”

“You’re like fire,” Remus said.

“Come again?” Sirius asked.

Remus lowered his book. “Sirius Black, you’re like fire. You burn everything you touch with this indelible passion and the world behind you ends up scorched. I’m scorched. But it’s alright, because just being close enough to you to catch flame… sometimes that’s enough when you’ve done nothing but shiver with cold all your life.”

Sirius stared at Remus.