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Remus’s Bloody Boyfriend


“Lily…” Remus leaned over to whisper in her ear, “Can I talk to you in private?”

Lily had been sitting at the wide table in the Gryffindor common room, working on helping some of the first years with their transfiguration homework. They had a whole mess of tea cups with long wormy mouse tails spread across the surface and a couple of Lily’s floral pattern cups among them. “Of course, Rey…” she said, then she turned to the first years, “I’ll be right back. Keep trying, you’re getting really good! Look, that one’s tail has your pattern on it! You’re so close. McGonagall’s going to be really impressed!” She smiled and followed Remus out into the corridor. He led her off to a little flight of stairs and they sat down side-by-side. “Is everything alright?” Lily asked with concern as they sat.

“Well, yes, everything’s alright, just…” Remus looked up and down the corridor carefully, then said, “It’s a secret. Or a surprise, rather. It’s about Sirius Black.”

Lily’s heart leaped into her throat, “What happened?” she gasped, “Remus John Lupin, you tell me positively everything.”

“Wait - what?” Remus looked confused a moment.

Lily paused. “What about Sirius Black?”

“I’m talking about his birthday coming up,” Remus said, “And a present I want to get him. What’re you talking about?”

Lily shook her head, “I thought - I mean - I dunno. Sorry. Ignore me, I’m a prat. What about his birthday?”

Remus gave her a funny look, but he didn’t press it. “Well his birthday’s coming up, on November the third, and I want to order him a present from a muggle catalog… Obviously I can’t go mailing them an owl to get it… If I give you the money, would it be possible, you think, maybe, your parents could order it and owl it along to us?” he looked at her with hope.

Lily nodded, “I don’t see why not. They’d be pleased to help us out, I’m sure… What is it that you’re ordering for him?”

Remus reached into his robes pocket and produced the catalog. He’d circled the 8-track player and made a list of the cassette-cartridges he wished to order, seven albums in total, all of Sirius’s favorites. He handed it to her. “It says it’s top of the line sound,” he said. “See, look. Exciting stereo.” He jabbed his finger at the page in the catalog.

Lily’s eyes widened, “Wow, Rey. That’s a really nice present.”

Remus nodded, “Yeah.”

“And it’s really expensive.”

“I know.” He reached in his pocket and withdrew a little purse that Dumbledore had given him, forty galleons inside clunked against one another heavily. He dropped the purse into Lily’s hand with the catalog.

Lily looked at him, “Where in world did you get all of that money?”

“I’ve a job,” Remus informed her, “I’m working for Dumbledore. I told him about Sirius’s birthday and offered to work about the castle… So he said I could help him out, actually, on a project he’s working on, so I’m illustrating a thesis for his mate, and he offered to pay me the money I need for the stereo system.”

Lily looked at him with bleary eyes. “Oh my stars, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”

Remus blushed. He nodded at the catalog. “So you know better than I do about muggle stuff. That sounds like a really nice stereo system, doesn’t it? You think he’ll like it.”

“Rey, I think he’ll love it.” Lily smiled and looked down at the catalog, running her fingers over the yellowy pages. She was all but tingling with excitement. Surely, Sirius would see how much thought Remus had put into this present… and… her heart swelled with the thought of it… they’d have to get together after that! “I’m so bloody excited for you,” she said.

Remus laughed, “For me? Be excited for Sirius, he’s the one getting the stereo!”

Lily threw her arms about Remus, “I’m excited for you both!”




October was proving to be rainy, and wet leaves fell across the grounds, caught up in the wind that blew in the colder weather. It snowed early, just a few days before Halloween, and frost coated the windows of the dormitory. Hagrid was seen taking in the pumpkins for the feast and the decorations so that the frost wouldn’t kill them in the gardens. Sirius and James quickly got a detention for using their wands to carve a picture of Argus Filch snogging with Mrs. Norris into one of the larger pumpkins’ sides. It was wholly worth it, Sirius thought, because the picture was just hilarious and everyone had got a good laugh out of it.

It was October 29 when Sirius realized that the full moon would mean missing the Halloween feast in the Great Hall. Remus was shivering at his desk, trying to work on a paper for Kingsley Shacklebolt when Sirius, James, and Peter came into the dormitory, talking about the feast and how delicious all the food would be. “I can’t believe I’m going to miss it!” Sirius complained, kicking off his boots, “I ruddy love Halloween.”

Sirius spotted Remus was shivering and he shrugged off the leather jacket and put it ‘round Remus’s shoulders like he was a coat rack, collar still popped and everything.

Remus looked up from his paper, “You don’t have to miss it if you don’t want to, mate,” he said. It killed him to say it, he hated the idea of a night alone in the Shack - no matter how nice it was out there now, he still didn’t want to be alone out there. He was afraid of what the full moon would be like without Sirius there to keep him from eating his own flesh from his bones. And he was already feeling the antsiness of it, his skin crawling and his stomach growling as though he was always hungry, though even the slightest smell of cooked meat made him ill. He’d made Peter go to the kitchens to ask the house elves for a super rare-cooked steak one night and even that had been overdone…

“You don’t want me to come?” Sirius asked, looking sad.

“I don’t want you to miss Halloween,” Remus corrected.

Sirius glanced at James.

James shrugged.

“Well.. alright,” Sirius said. “I guess I’ll - I’ll go to Halloween. I mean, I don’t want you to be stuck all alone out there…”

Remus nodded, “Yeah… I’ll be alright.”

Sirius nodded slowly. “Alright, then. So long as you’ll be alright.”

“I will.”

James and Peter looked between the two of them awkwardly and finally Peter announced, “Who wants to help me figure out what the bloody hell to do with this damned crystal ball for Divination? I don’t want to fall asleep trying it again!”

“Sure,” said James, “I’ll give it a go with you…” and they scrambled to get the crystal balls out of their trunks as Sirius smiled ruefully at Remus and turned to grab his textbook and throw himself onto his bed.

Remus turned back to his homework feeling ill at the thought of a lonely full moon night. He pulled Sirius’s jacket tighter ‘round himself, relishing the warmth and comforted by the smell.




“Remus’s bloody boyfriend’s getting in on my time!” Sirius complained loudly. He was walking with James down to the pitch for the Quidditch practice, carrying Lily’s broomstick over his shoulder. “Can you believe this clodhopper thinks he can move in on my Moony like this? He’s mine during full moon time! I’m his bloody Alpha!” Sirius’s swung his beater’s bat with his free hand, “Bloody little prat probably isn’t even an animagus. I hope Rey bites him.”

James rolled his eyes, “You can’t seriously think that Remus is letting you skip the full moon because he’s planning on spending it with his supposed boyfriend!”

“Tell me why else he’d have so eagerly told me not to go,” Sirius demanded.

“Uh because you basically said you wanted to go to Halloween instead and Remus is a good bloke like that?” James suggested, rolling his eyes. “Don’t be an idiot, Sirius.”

Sirius shook his head, “Remus has never once told me not to go to a full moon. He’s not going to just offer up me skipping because of the stupid Halloween feast. Obviously, there’s more to it than that. He’s probably bringing his boyfriend out there before the moon rises. Probably gonna snog him all over our couch.” Sirius shuddered at the very thought of it. “That’s our couch. We all fixed it up for Remus and me, not for Remus and his stupid bloody boyfriend.”

James shook his head, “Sirius -- I’m telling you, there’s no bloody boyfriend.”

“There is,” Sirius insisted, “There has to be. And you know what? I’m going to ruddy well prove it. I’m going to go out there when he least expects it tomorrow and I’m going to catch Remus at it with him!”

James stared at Sirius, “Then you’re going to miss the Halloween feast.”

“Fuck the Halloween feast!” Sirius shouted.

A couple Ravenclaws walking by glared at him.

“We think he might have Tourettes,” James said, “Sorry.”