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The Mind of Lucius Malfoy (Severus)


Halloween morning came with much the grandeur as one might expect of a holiday. There were no classes as it was a Sunday, yet everyone was up early and the Slytherin common room was a ruckus of noise. Students were shouting and laughing, messing 'round with one another and talking about the feast. The older students were telling all the First Years about the floating candles and jack o'lanterns that filled the air all 'round the long tables in the Great Hall. There were shouts and squeals of excitement and shrieks of laughter as the students talked and exchanged every last detail that any of them knew about the festivities of the day… and it was a great relief to Severus Snape that everyone was too busy down in the common room to notice how strange it was that he was up in the dorms, fast asleep, finally able to quiet his mind now that his room mates were gone.

He had only been asleep for maybe a half an hour, though, when he was shaken awake.

“Severus,” the cool voice said and he groaned. “Severus, wake up.”

His eyes cracked slightly to find Lucius Malfoy sitting on the bed next to his, grey eyes staring intently down at him, face serious. “What is it?” Severus asked, loathing Malfoy for having interrupted his only time to relax. He slid the book he'd been reading by wandlight when he fell asleep under the pillow.

Lucius was standing across the room, leaning against one of the other First Years' desks. He ruffled through the boy's notes and tossed them aside, turning back to look at Severus. “The Dark Lord is curious about your...” he paused, searching for the right word, “Er, talent.”

“My talent?” Severus asked.

“The legilimency,” Lucius replied.

The book on Severus's lap seemed to suddenly weigh a million pounds. Something deep inside him sparked and for some reason, though he didn't quite know why, he felt that Lucius needn't not know that he was studying his so-called talent by night, and getting stronger at it everyday.

“What about it?” Severus asked in a challenging tone.

“Well, as you recall from the night that the Dark Lord spoke with us through the Floo Network, he desires to know where you learned such an interesting skill.” Lucius was studying his wand tip, like an old time western film gunslinger might study his gun. Severus had seen one of those motion pictures with his father, long ago, when his father had still tried to make an effort to uphold the image that they were a Normal Family. “After all,” Lucius said, still staring at the wand, not at Severus at all, “It is a very unusual talent for such a young, inexperienced - half-blood wizard, like yourself, to possess.”

Severus felt a twinge of unease begin to sink in. He quickly calculated his options: tell the truth or tell a lie. But which lie? How much truth? Careful to keep his eyes level with Malfoy's, avoiding all of the classic elements of body language that came with a fib, he said smoothly, “I didn't learn it, I've always had it.” He shrugged as though this were the plainest, simplest thing in the world. He stared up at Lucius with what he hoped was an innocently blank expression.

Lucius raised an eyebrow, “Always?” he asked.

“Always.”

Lucius considered this for a moment, and lowered his wand, which Severus mistook for Malfoy letting his guard down. He turned away, and Severus thought he was about to leave the room and was thankful for it, when suddenly Lucius turned back. “Tell me what I am thinking now,” he demanded, “Keeping in mind that the Dark Lord is not the sort of person with whom you mess around. Telling the Dark Lord that you've a talent he deems valuable without actually having it is --” he paused, stopping mid-sentence. “Well,” he finished, a dark look clouding his eyes, “It's not something you would be well advised in doing.”

Again, Severus paused to survey his options. He couldn't see where he had many. Though he hadn't yet managed to actually read anyone's mind yet, he could either find a way to do it – right here, right now, on the spot with Lucius Malfoy – or, he could confess the truth, that he was still learning. Which would reveal that he had yet to fully learn to control his talent, as Lucius called it.

This moment, Severus realized, was very important and may just be the one moment that would define his entire life. This talent had gained him the attention of the Dark Lord, the most powerful wizard in the world, the one whose coming his mother had looked forward to all of his life, whose rise would mark the cleansing and reclaiming of the wizarding world… and here he was, a half-blood with something to prove. This was his chance, perhaps his only chance, to do so.

He could do this.

He could.

And so, he took the chance.

Severus closed his eyes, trying to think of nothing at all, as the books had all instructed him to do. He tried not to think anything at all and empty his brains right out and hear nothing but the ringing silence in his mind. This step, the books all said, was by far the hardest of learning Legilimency and the one which made most wizards desist their study of it. It took the utmost of concentration.

Lucius stood before him with a smirking grin spreading across his face as Snape squeezed his eyes tighter shut. He was about to open his mouth to tell Severus to forget it when a sort of chilled feeling went over him and he was reminded of the feeling of a disillusionment charm being placed upon him or something like it. He looked around, a bit panicked, caught off guard, a shiver sent down his spine.

“You don't believe me,” said Severus.

Lucius turned back to look at him as Severus opened his beady black eyes.

“You're just pretending to give a damn about me because you feel like you have to, as you're my cousin, but you don't really because I'm a half-blood and you don't believe that I could be any good at Legilimency. What do you think, that I've somehow tricked the Dark Lord?” Severus demanded.

Lucius's face rang with surprise before he could contain it. “I – you're mistaken,” he stammered.

Severus felt a thrill of accomplishment. He'd guessed correctly. “You're afraid, too,” he said, “Afraid that you're wrong and I'll actually be good at Legilimency and it will make me be the Dark Lord's favored one, not you. You're afraid to fall out of graces with him.” Severus grinned at the uncomfortable expression these words brought to Lucius's face. “That really gets your goose, doesn't it, Lucius?” he asked, “Imagining that me, a half-blood Prince might be more important to the Dark Lord than you, the latest in a centuries-long line of pure-blood Malfoys.”

The two boys stared at one another. Lucius's chin tilted upward, staring coldly down his nose now at his cousin. Severus thought that if Lucius could have, he would have squashed him like a bug just to be rid of him. Finally, after a long moment, Lucius cleared his throat. “Yes. Well. Clearly you truly do possess the ability, then.”

Severus nodded.

A long moment passed again, and then, as though it was excruciatingly painful for him to do so, Lucius reached out a hand, offering Severus to shake it. It was a peace offering. A general acknowledgement that they both knew now what was going on in the mind of Lucius Malfoy, and were agreeing to let it go in the name of the greater good. Slowly, Severus reached up and grasped Malfoy's hand and they shook.

Malfoy swept from the room afterwards, closing the dormitory door behind him.

Severus sat in silence for a few moments, listening to Lucius's footsteps on the stairs leading into the common room. His heart was racing now, delayed anxiety. He'd gotten lucky, very lucky indeed. He didn't know what would come next, but he was certain, beyond a doubt, that now more than ever it was absolutely imperative that he figure out exactly how to practice occlumency and legilimency before any further questions could arise from either Lucius Malfoy or the Dark Lord himself.

With that in mind, Severus pulled the book out from under the covers and quickly set to work in reading it.





Later, Severus could tell when the feast was to begin in the Great Hall because the sounds echoing from the common room slowly quieted as students started heading up. He dog eared the page he was on in reading and shoved it under his mattress carefully, tucking his wand into his pocket and hurrying to keep from being missed at the table. He'd read quite a lot of useful information about how to get into somebody's mind and he was eager to give it a try. Being in the Great Hall would give him quite a lot of minds in close proximity, including Lily Evans'.

The Great Hall was tressed up quite marvelously, the air filled with grinning pumpkin lanterns and black, dripping candles that flickered their lights across the walls. The tables had been covered with orange and black cloths, and snaked along them were decorative cobwebs (with no spiders, of course). Professor Slughorn had brewed a potion that bubbled in the front of the Hall, near to the staff table where he could keep an eye on it, that spread about a scent most pleasant, which conjured the spirit of Halloween festivities deep within one's fibers. Even Severus couldn't help but feel an excited thrill as a waft of it made it's way up his nose. He stared around a moment from the doors, admiring the way the ghosts seemed to be more transparent, nearly fully formed. Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost was floating overhead, talking with the Bloody Baron and the Fat Friar and Severus could easily see the fine details in the lace on the ruff that surrounded Nick's neck stump. It was most impressive.

“Watch out, coming through,” came a voice.

Severus rolled his eyes. Wasn't there any place in the main portion of the castle where he could stop without encountering Sirius, James, and his cronies? he wondered. He was about to posture this question, when he realized that the boys were in such a rush that they hadn't noticed him and, more importantly, directly behind them came Lily. “Happy Halloween,” he said to her the moment she was within ear shot.

Lily turned, looking surprised to hear his voice and a smile spread over her face. “Hello Sev,” she replied. “Happy Halloween.”

“The lanterns are pretty, ey?” he asked, waving a hand up at the floating pumpkin heads and candles, so plentiful that one could scarcely see the enchanted ceiling high above.

“Oh yes,” Lily said. She eyed Severus curiously. “Everything alright?” she asked.

“Of course,” Severus replied, “Why shouldn't it be?”

Lily shrugged, “It's just that you seem… much more up than you usually are,” she answered.

“Up?”

“Yes, like more positive.” When Severus gave her a funny look, she amended, “It's a good thing, Severus.”

“Oh. Well. I dunno. I suppose it's been an alright day is all,” he said.

Lily smiled, “Well, I hope you have more of them.”

Students were streaming in around them, some getting frustrated with the bottle necking that was occurring where they stood, but Lily didn't seem to notice and Snape outright ignored the dirty looks because talking to Lily was more important to him, and in this crowd the Slytherins couldn't see what he was doing so he was safe from being questioned about it later on. Last thing he needed was, just as he was getting his big break to prove himself not the typical half-blood muggle-born sympathizer type, he was caught getting on with a muggle-born.

Lily was different from other muggle-borns, though, he thought.

At some point, she would get a chance to prove that to them and then they'd see and they'd understand and he would be able to talk to her whenever he liked then.

But for now, he was glad for the cover of the crowded room.

“Oi! Lilly!” Derek Bell waved a hand as he walked by, his sister Alice at his side, waving frantically to Lily to come join them.

Lily smiled and waved back, then turned to Severus. “I've got to go, Sev. My friends are here.”

A spark of anger twinged through Severus. My friends, she'd called them, as though he were not a part of that category. But he quickly shook it off. That wasn't what she had meant at all, he told himself, she just meant that Alice and Derek were friends with her, and not with him. Not that he wasn't her friend, but that they were not his. Which was fair by him, the Bells had plenty of muggle blood in their veins.

“Enjoy the feast,” Severus told her.

Lily's eyes twinkled in that way that seemed to send jolts right to his toes. “Thanks, Sev. You, too!” She petted his shoulder and rushed away, running to where Derek and Alice were standing, still waving for her.

Severus jostled his way through the crowd to the Slytherin table, where he found a seat as far away from Lucius Malfoy as he could, where the other, larger students, like Alistor Mulciber and Germaine Avery, blocked Lucius's view of him. He looked over at the Gryffindor table, where Lily was now seated with Alice, Derek, and some other second years named Frank Longbottom and Marlene McKinnon. Lily was smiling still, her bright green eyes and her pretty red hair was easy to see, even from way across the Great Hall. Not for the first time, Severus wished he could sit with her and, with a glance down each way of the Slytherin table, wondered if he didn't wish he'd been sorted differently. After all, what exactly did Slytherin offer him?

Everything, he found his mind reminding him. Being in Slytherin was everything. It was important to be friends with these people, these powerful people whose lives were bound for greatness with the rising of the Dark Lord. These clean, pureblood witches and wizards, whose veins did not carry foulness, but exuded nobility. It was here, in the Slytherin house, that he would find the way to overcome his horrible father's contribution to his existence, where he would undo the marring that his mother had done and reclaim the nobility that he should have been born with, as a cousin to the noble houses of both Black and Malfoy. Being a half-blood Prince would only mean something if he could salvage the name, and that could only come to fruition here, in Slytherin.

Besides, he had far more important things to think on than whatever was making Lily laugh and smile over at the Gryffindor table, he remembered. He needed to work on this legilimency stuff before something more came of all the questions Lucius had been asking back in his dormitory. He needed to learn how to use the talent to hear people's thoughts – on purpose – and learn how to guard his own even more securely than he already could.

According to the book he had been reading, it was best to practice on people that one knew very well in order to be able to gain access to their minds more easily because their thoughts were familiar to your own usually and would be easy to pick up on if you were thinking similar things. The only person in the entire Great Hall that thought like him, he believed, was Lily. Lily had told him once that she didn't particularly like the idea of him prodding about her head, but it was important he learn. Surely, she would understand if he'd told her the whole story about Lucius and the Dark Lord in the floo and everything. But he hadn't really dared to tell her that stuff because he was afraid that she might tell someone else about it, being as she was in a different house and everything now, who knew where her loyalties might lie in conjunction with the Dark Lord. Once upon a time, when they'd been best mates and seen each other every day, it would've been easy for Severus to tell her about it. He could have made her understand that the Dark Lord wasn't as horrible as everyone made him out to be and that his intentions for the wizarding race were good, not evil, which she'd certainly been told by those prats in Gryffindor. And, besides, Lily was easy to focus on which, he thought, should make it easier to pick up on her mind, even across the vast distance between them.

He closed his eyes, trying to block out all the noise of the room to concentrate on silencing his mind, as he had done earlier, but also thinking hard about Lily and trying to connect his thoughts to hers, to read her mind. It was like trying to tune a radio in on a particularly static-filled channel, or reading by a severely flickering lantern. He concentrated all the harder, listening for something that felt familiar.

And then, to his very great surprise, something happened.

Pictures filled his mind. Pictures that were not his own. Thoughts he had not thunk.

Thoughts, he realized, startled, not from Lily Evans but about Lily Evans.

Very familiar thoughts about her.

Beautiful. She's beautiful. She hates me. Can't blame her, I suppose... Flashes of the memory of Lily on a broom, of the way her hair sailed behind her as she flew, calling instructions to Peter Pettigrew… Always so kind to others. Hates me. Wish I'd done better at it when I first met her… We got on alright at first, when we were alone on the Express. What I wouldn't do to get my hands on a Time Turner and make it right that day...

Severus opened his eyes and looked along the Gryffindor table, trying to spot whose mind it was he'd gotten into instead of Lily Evans'… whose thoughts were so similar to his that he'd easily heard them like that. To his astonishment, and horror, his eyes fell on James Potter – who was staring down the table at Lily as Sirius, Lupin, and Peter seemed deep in conversation around him. James Potter? Severus felt his insides churn with disappointment and anger. First of all, of all the people in the Great Hall, the first whose mind he had ever read had to be James Potter's? It couldn't have been some stray Ravenclaw's or something. Not even one of the weak-minded Hufflepuffs! No, of everyone in the Hall, it had to be Potter. And while he was thinking about Lily, no less!

The thought of James Potter fancying Lily - his Lily – made Snape's blood boil within his veins and he clenched his fists under the table in frustration. He wanted to march over there right that very moment and punch James Potter right in his smug, arrogant face. He wanted to shout “you can't ever have her” to him, and forbid him from ever letting her name cross the threshold of his filthy, blood-traitor mind again.

Severus was so caught up in the moment, that he didn't even notice the headmaster had stood up at his place in the center of the staff table and cleared his throat. He noticed once the hall fell into a hushed silence, though, and looked up at Dumbledore. “Happiest of Halloweens, students!” Dumbledore said with a wide smile that seemed to glow beneath his auburn beard. “Tonight, we feast with the living and recall the dead, whose spirits live on, reminding us of the shortness of time which we are bequeathed upon this earth,” he said, looking about the room. The ghosts clapped cordially from their places, floating above the house tables. “Let us lay aside our differences.” He smiled and raised a goblet of mead to the students. “Trick or treat,” he called instead of cheers.

“Trick or treat!” The students echoed.

And, as if in reply, the table burst forth with a most impressive assortment of dishes, steam rising up from them to twist and turn it's way into their noses.

But, even as the students all over the Hall dug in, grasping great pieces of cake or chicken legs from the various platters before them, Severus couldn't tear his glaring eyes from James Potter, who grinned as he piled his plate high with mashed potatoes and laughed at something Sirius Black had just said.