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When Squids Fly


Sirius missed Remus. The other two did, too, but not the way Sirius did. Sirius felt like part of himself was missing, and his anxiousness to tell Remus how he felt was building. He felt a bit like a bubble that might burst, that was just trying to keep himself held together.

One night, he lay awake, unable to sleep, and he’d looked over to see that James and Peter were really deeply out before he transformed into Snuffles and snuck over to Remus’s bed, pressing his nose into the pillow, just to smell that comfortable jumper smell… only to find that a house elf had changed he bedclothes and they didn’t smell like him. Disappointed, Sirius transformed back to a person and got up. He rummaged about in Remus’s trunk, pushing aside all his high-graded essays and books ‘til he found a small knot of clothes at the bottom. He took Remus’s cardigan sweater and carried it back to his bed, laying it across his pillow, and was finally able to fall asleep.

“Wake up, Birthday Boy,” James’s voice echoed about in Sirius’s tired brains the next morning and he felt a poke-poke-poke on his shoulder.

Sirius groaned, “Bloody hell, Potter, is it even dawn yet?”

“Only just, but I’ve got a surprise for you,” James replied.

“Can’t it wait until at least the owls are awake?” Sirius murmured.

James shrugged, “I mean, if you don’t want to be there to witness the first students experience the greatest birthday prank ever pulled….”

“Wait, what?” Sirius was up now, mouth splitting with a wide grin, “Did you just say birthday prank?”

“Well of course,” James said, smirking, “Who would be bloody stupid enough to give you a card when they could give you a prank?”

“What’d you do!” Sirius rubbed his hands together.

“Wait ‘til you see!” James’s eyes danced with excitement. “Peter, c’mon wake up, hurry up. Even Sirius is up already.” He threw a pillow at Peter.

Peter shivered and turned ‘round to look at them. He’d fallen asleep the night before trying to look at his crystal ball again. “I’m too sleepy,” he replied. “I’ll go later.”

James stared in disbelief, “Peter, you know we’re going to breakfast?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s food at breakfast,” Sirius said.

“Shut up. I do things besides eat, you know!” Peter snapped.

“Oiiii, Pete, that’s not anyway to talk to a Birthday Boy,” James reprimanded him.

Peter turned red, “Sorry, Sirius, I’m just tired.”

Sirius shrugged, “S’alright. Sorry I teased you.”

Peter rolled back over, hugging his crystal ball to his chest as he did, staring down at it.

As Sirius and James headed down to the Great Hall, James said, “You know, all he does lately is stare at that thing. Can crystal balls be addicting?”

“I dunno,” Sirius replied.

“Do you reckon he’s even seen anything in it yet?” James asked.

“Peter? Peter’s a dolt, of course he hasn’t seen anything. I haven’t seen anything. Have you seen anything?”

“My reflection,” James said with a laugh.

Sirius snorted and punched James’s shoulder. “So what’s this prank you’ve done for me?”

“You’ll see.”

“It better be brilliant, my little protege.”

“It is.”

They slid down the bannister of the grand staircase going into the entrance hall, getting disapproving looks from some of the older students - who were usually the only ones that came to the earliest breakfast. James waved for Sirius to follow him as he stepped into the Great Hall, walking backwards, a great look of amusement on his face, glancing about at the other students in the room, all talking or studying while they ate, and James grinned.

They had no idea what was about to happen.

Sirius stepped through the doorway and the effect was instant. Great busts of sound happened and little firecrackers lit up, shooting across the room at one another with strands of shooting stars and sparks and high above. Somewhere from the ceiling came a loud guitar-laced version of the Happy Birthday song that seemed to shake the sunrise-coloured ceiling. And then, with a great POP each, one by one the long house banners hanging about were transfigured and featured a picture of Sirius Black before a maroon and gold backdrop.

Sirius’s eyes widened with excitement as a burst of maroon and gold confetti showered down from the ceiling, shaped like stars and streamers, spinning and curling about the room. Sirius clapped loudly, staring up as it filled the air and the screaming guitars that were playing the birthday song came to a shaking end, the hall suddenly filled with silence for a long moment, save for Sirius’s palms smacking together, which echoed through the hall.

Then the students in the Hall burst into sound, shouting and trying to figure out what the bloody hell had happened, picking bits of confetti out of their breakfasts. Frank Longbottom shouted Happy Birthday from the Gryffindor table and the Slytherins were instantly up and trying to magic their banner back to normal, shooting sparks at the fabric face of Sirius Black, but all they managed to do was set one of their banners on fire and there was a rush of panic as the Slytherin prefect scrambled to put it out.

“Good one, James!” Sirius exclaimed, high-fiving his mate as they watched the unbridled chaos that followed the prank. James was flushed with excitement that it had gone off so well, and Sirius grinned, pulling him over by his robes to fling his arm about his shoulder, “You’re a ruddy genius.”

“It’ll do that every time you come in that door here for the whole day,” James said.

“Serious?”

James nodded.

A smirking grin came over Sirius’s mouth. The Slytherins had just managed to make their banner go back to normal and were settling down to the table again. Sirius, however, took a great backwards step over the threshold so he was back in the entrance hall… James grinned, eyes sparkling… and Sirius stepped back inside… setting it all off again.




That afternoon, Sirius received a good load of presents - tons of chocolate frogs and jelly slugs and fizzing whizbees from the other Gryffindor students. Lily Evans gave him a small globe that contained an itty bitty firework inside that zoomed from the bottom to the top, burst, and rained colored sparks down through the bulb, which fizzed out. “Wow!” Sirius said, watching it with wide eyes, “Where’d you get this from?”

“I’ve made it,” Lily said.

“No way!” Sirius said, looking up. “It’s brilliant.”

Lily smiled, flushing a little, “It’s just a little thing, it’s not a big deal.”

“I think it is. I’ve never had anyone make me a present before - especially not one that’s so brilliant as this. Thanks, Evans.” Sirius smiled. “You didn’t have to get me anything, though, you know…”

Lily laughed, “Well… I was sort of going to go to your birthday party… but I reckon that’s been postponed because of Remus not being here…”

“Yeah, postponed ‘til Rey’s back,” James nodded. “Which reminds me, Evans -- you owe me a date.”

“What?” she looked at James with indignation, “How do you figure that?”

“Because, you’ve just said you were going ot go to the party, which means you’d accepted my offer, that you could go as my date. That means you’ve agreed to go on a date with me, and therefore, since you aren’t going to the party because it’s not happening, you, Lily Evans, owe me a date.”

Lily rolled her eyes, “I didn’t agree to go on a date with you, I agreed to go to SIrius’s birthday party.”

“You weren’t offered to just go to Sirius’s birthday party,” James said, “You were offered to go on a date with me to Sirius’s birthday party.”

Lily glowered at him. “You know perfectly well that’s not what --”

“That is what you agreed to,” James interrupted. “Peter was my witness, weren’t you Pete?”

Peter, who was standing behind them looked wary, “I - I dunno,” he glanced at Lily’s wand, nervous she might bat-bogey him if he agreed with James.

“No, don’t be a prat! You did hear her say it!”

“I didn’t say it, though, I’d never say it! The day I’d go on a date with you, James Potter, would be the same day that the Giant Squid learned to fly!” Lily exclaimed.

“You want the giant squid to fly? I’ll make the giant bloody squid fly!” James rolled up his robe sleeves and turned for the door.

Lily’s eyes widened, “No… Stop it, you musn’t… You can’t… Surely there’s no spell --” she ran after him, even as he wrenched open the portrait hole and climbed through. Lily scrambled after.

Sirius looked ‘round at everyone else. “Well. I dunno about you lot but I’m not missing that for all the tea in McGonagall’s office!” he took off running after them and half of Gryffindor house followed.

People were shouting and talking loudly as they ran down the stairs and along the way the Gryffindors added on stragglers from other houses - Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs - and as they crossed through the entrance hall to the big wood doors of the castle, they even attracted a small cluster of Slytherins… Severus Snape, seeing Lily running after James Potter, shouting for him to stop was pulled in, concerned, his eyebrows knitting as he rushed after them. Regulus Black and Barty Crouch had been following him down to the dungeon when it happened and so they both ran after him, too, and soon half the ruddy school was making a mass exodus across the lightly-snowy grounds of Hogwarts, shouting and making a commotion.

Filch heard them all and rushed along behind, frantic, shouting and waving a mop as Mrs. Norris meowed horribly from the doorway, refusing to step onto the wet snow.

Hagrid looked up from his vegetable patch, where he’d installed lamps in the ground that put out heat to keep the winter vegetables growing. “Blimey, what the ruddy hell’s all’er this, then?” he muttered, jamming his spade into the ground so he could investigate.

High up in his tower, Dumbledore was looking out the window, stroking Fawkes feathers, when he saw the students all gathering together along the edge of the Black Lake and he took a deep breath. “Oh dear…” and he turned from the window hastily, in a rush to get down to the grounds.

“JAMES POTTER YOU STOP RIGHT NOW! LEAVE THAT SQUID ALONE!” Lily was screaming.

James stood at the very edge of the water, and Sirius came to a skidding halt right behind him, the forefront of all the other students that were cheering and shouting as word moved through the crowd that James Potter was going to make the giant squid fly in order to win a date with Lily Evans. He cleared his throat and drew his wand from his robes pocket.

ACCIO SQUID!” James shouted, waving his wand.

There was a very long pause indeed, and for several long moments it seemed as though nothing would happen at all and a few of the more doubtful students turned and started pushing their way back through the crowd to return to the castle. Severus had finally pushed his way up to the front and stumbled over the ground toward Lily, worry still filled his face. Barty and Regulus broke through, too, eager to stay close to Snape.

“James Potter, you manky muppet!” Lily yelled, “I’ll never go on a date with you, so you can just stop what you’re doing right this ---”

Screams went up from the crowd of students, shouts. The water of the Black Lake was bubbling right there at the edge by James and suddenly a great tentacle came flying up out of the water, spinning and waving and another - and another - and there was the Great Squid, floating at the surface, it’s giant eyes staring at James with a look of expectancy, it’s tentacles folded along the shore of the lake as though they were elbows, propping it’s great body up, like a man on the edge of a pool.

Lily screamed.

Sirius’s grin was as wide as it could ever be. “This is the best birthday ever,” he whispered, laughing madly.

James waved his wand, “Wingaaaaardium Leviosa!

Lily covered her mouth, terrified, as the great big squid went floating up into the air and James, looking just as shocked that it was working as he looked determined to do it, waved his wand about, making the squid swoop about, his long tentacles swishing over the surface of the water.

“Blimey!” Hagrid’s voice echoed over the crowd of students as he reached the back edge of them, and Filch was shouting that it wasn’t allowed and it would be detention and the chains and he’d get Dumbledore to expell the lot of them if they didn’t get back into the castle immediately, and then… Dumbledore himself arrived, running down the path from the castle, seeing the squid floating above the water, his jaw dropped, beard flapping behind him. Several other members of staff were now gathered at the mouth of the castle now, too.

“Which student is ignorant enough to be doing that!” Madam Pomfrey gasped, covering her mouth as she stared over the grounds.

“It’s Potter,” said Slughorn, squinting at the edge of the Lake.

McGonagall’s cheeks flamed red, “Of course it’s Potter.”

“Fair amount of magical talent it would take, to do that,” muttered Kingsley Shacklebolt, with just a slight tinge of pride to his voice.

The other teachers looked at him.

“I’m just saying,” Kingsley said with a shrug.

Dumbledore was pushing aside students, separating them, and as soon as they realized it was him that was coming through, they were jumping aside to let him by.

Severus Snape started laughing when he saw Dumbledore break through the front line of students, hoping James would finally be expelled for this… considering this was his second major offense since the start of term…

“MR. POTTER,” Dumbledore bellowed, “You will return that squid to the water, immediately!

James’s eyes widened. He hadn’t realized Dumbledore had been coming. Slowly, he brought his wand down, dropping the squid into the water and breaking the spell. There was a great burst of the squid’s tentacles as he turned and fled as quickly as a squid could possibly go.

The only sound on the grounds, once the splashing stopped, was Sirius Black, laughing uproariously.

James turned around and looked up at Dumbledore with a wide grin.

Dumbledore stared at him.

“Turns out, sir, I’m rather good at aviation,” James declared.

“Go. To. My. Office.”

“Yes, sir.”

The path that had been broken in the students remained open and James walked through it, headed for the castle. Several students snickered as he walked by. One stuck out his hand for a high-five but with Dumbledore watching, James didn’t dare partake. Instead, he winked and tried very hard not to go smirking as he walked through the cluster of staff at the door. They broke apart, too, so he could pass through, and McGonagall murmured, “What were you thinking, Potter?”

“It’s really Lily Evans fault, Professor,” he said, “Said she wouldn’t go out with me ‘til the day Squids could fly…” and on up the stairs he went.

Sirius walked over to Lily, “Well, Evans,” he said, grinning, “Looks like you do owe James a date after all, huh?”

Lily’s mouth set in a straight line and rolled her eyes, “Technically the squid didn’t fly, it floated and James Potter is the world’s greatest prat!”