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Our Theoretical Animagus


Albus Dumbledore stood before the pensieve in his office. The water shimmered and trembled before him, his hands gripping the sides. He’d only just come out of the memory - a long passed memory that he had been considering quite frequently recently… He turned as a knock came on the door. Dumbledore walked across the room and opened the door, taking the moment to breathe deeply and clear his mind. When he opened the door, he was not surprised, really, to see Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, standing on the landing - Remus still on the stairwell, Sirius fixing the umbrella he’d just knocked over, which had been leaning against the wall.

“Masters Lupin and Black,” Dumbledore said, stepping back to admit them. He watched them move, watched the way Sirius hovered close to Remus, the way his eyes followed Remus’s every move, protective and caring… It made his heart ache, especially in light of the memory he’d just finished viewing. Remus hovered before Dumbledore’s desk, his nerves strung too tight to sit. He looked at the headmaster, who stared back at him with expectant eyes, a smile curling his lips ever so slightly… “I expect that you did not come up that many stairs just to say hello.”

Remus looked at Sirius. While walking to the Headmaster’s office from Gryffindor tower, the boys had realized that the topic at hand would be a very delicate one, seeing as the question they had was whether a werewolf bite to an illegal animagus would change said illegal animagus into a werewolf. So, Sirius had come up with a story to ask without asking and, depending upon the answer that the headmaster gave, they would either tell Dumbledore the full story or carry on with the tale as needed.

Sirius said, “We’re working on a paper for Transfiguration and Miss. Minnie always says you’re the one that’s taught her, so we had a question and hoped you might be able to answer it.”

“I do have a fair bit of answers inside of my head,” Dumbledore nodded, “And it is possible that one of them may pertain to your question. Do ask it.” He tried not to smirk at the awkward way the boys were acting, hovering about like satellites of each other. Remus kept checking himself that he wasn’t getting too close to Sirius’s right arm, then backing a step or two away.

“In theory, if a werewolf were to bite an animagus, would the animagus be… infected?” Sirius asked.

Dumbledore eyed them.

Sirius tried very hard to appear as though he were no more than a curious academically inclined student.

“I thought that Minerva had already covered Animagi with your year?” Dumbledore asked.

“It’s for review, for the O.W.L.s,” Remus piped up quickly.

Good one, Moony, thought Sirius.

Dumbledore nodded slowly, stroking his beard, and went around to the chair behind the desk, lowing himself into the seat. He leaned back and stared up at the two boys. “It’s an interesting question that you ask…”

Sirius had no patience for the ramblings Dumbledore usually preluded his replies with. “Do you know the answer or what?”

Remus looked at Sirius with The Look, and back to Dumbledore.

“Mr. Black, did the bite occur on the full moon?”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius answered.

“And the animagus was transformed to his animal shape completely at the time of the bite?”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius answered.

Dumbledore said, “Well, then, the animagus would be fine. His wound would be quite nasty, I expect it may even retain some of the attributes of his animal form, but the venom of the werewolf would not change the man. The reason is quite simple. When a werewolf bites a man and changes him into a wolf, the venom works by accessing the man’s DNA strands and sort of… rewriting them. You see, Mr. Black, imagine your DNA as a great ribbon upon which is written all of the information that makes you who you are - all of your features and personality quirks and the way your body grows and the way your teeth are shaped and the sound of your voice… every hair on your head and the way that they fall. When you - or, rather, our theoretical animagus - transforms into the animal form, that ribbon of DNA is rolled up tight and stored away, kept safe until it’s time to access it again and change back. Wounds carry over because it is the same flesh that is changed, the same molecules and cells that reform in new patterns to create seemingly new things. But the ribbon would not have been touched by the wolf’s venom. And it does not affect the DNA of other animals, therefore the string of the animal would not be altered, either. Both man and beast would be quite clear of the werewolf’s venom.”

Sirius looked at Remus.

“You’re sure?” Remus asked, then, “It’s just that I don’t want to get a poor grade.”

“I am absolutely certain.”

Sirius asked, “So if the animagus gets bit and stuff and the man had the bite and all that… and the bite was… nasty, as you said… what, er, would you theoretically, suggest he do?”

Dumbledore said, “Ah yes, such information would be very important for your paper.” He nodded. “Begin with a swash of murtlap oil, warmed to room temperature to avoid the shock… Then bandage well with a salve that can be made quite easily. It would be a base similar to one that can be found in your first year Potions book - with just a hint of aconite or dogwood mixed in, and just a wee bit of that murtlap oil to numb the pain.”

“Got it.” Sirius nodded.

Remus looked down at his feet.

“And sir?” Sirius pressed, glancing back at Remus’s hanging head. “What of the werewolf?”

“What of him?”

“Would the bite be the fault of the werewolf?”

“Did the wolf have his faculties about him?” Dumbledore asked.

Sirius shook his head, “It was a particularly nasty moon… theoretically.”

“Mmmhm…” Dumbledore nodded, “I see. Well. I would say that there are a good many people in this world who have done a good many nasty things… many of them fully of their right minds. Men make mistakes, it is a part of what makes us human. I should say that the werewolf should be pardoned for his errors.”

“I agree sir,” Sirius said.

“Very good!” Dumbledore smiled, “Then I got that one right.” He stood. “Is that all?”

“Yes sir.” Sirius nodded and grabbed Remus’s wrist, tugging him toward the door.

Dumbledore held the door for them as they stepped out onto the landing and Sirius hurried to get out of there before Remus could go all mental and try confessing or something… Remus paused in the door and looked Dumbledore in the eyes. “Thank you, sir,” Remus said.

Dumbledore smiled, “I have made a great deal of mistakes myself, Mr. Lupin, and I am proud of none of them… Now if a man like myself can be forgiven for the mistakes that I have made, then so, too, can your theoretical werewolf.” He patted Remus’s shoulder gently. “Go on, my dear boy. And do not blame yourself for things that are not your fault, but remember that it is our heart's intentions, as much, and often times more so, as our actions that make up whether we are good or evil people - angels or monsters.” His eyes twinkled and he waved with the tips of his fingers and closed the door.

“Oi now, Moony - hurry up! I’ve got a salve to make before my arm bloody falls off!” Sirius called up the steps.

Remus shook his head and trotted down the steps after Sirius, who was nearly to the bottom, sliding down the bannister. “Just because it isn’t technically my fault doesn’t mean I don’t feel like a complete rotter so please refrain from losing any limbs because of me will you at least?” he said.

“I’ll do what I can mate,” Sirius answered. “Look, I’ll tell you what, since you’re such a rotter, I’ll let you make me my salve. How’s that? You can also let me copy your notes for muggle studies.”

Remus pretended to be annoyed by the notion, but he thought that at that moment he would’ve done anything at all in the entire world to make it up to Sirius that he had bitten him.




That night, after putting together the salve, using a bit of the aconite that Newt Scamander had given Remus and the murtlap essence balm Remus still had in his nightstand for his scars, they sat in the dormitory applying it to Sirius’s arm. James and Peter were downstairs in the common room, working on homework and lazing about by the fire, probably teasing the first years, and so Remus and Sirius were left alone.

Remus gently dipped a cloth into the murtlap oil that he’d warmed and gently pressed the cloth against Sirius’s arm. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to be gentle,” Remus said when Sirius inhaled sharply, in pain as the cloth touched his broken skin.

“I know, it’s just raw. I know you’re being gentle.” Sirius squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

Remus felt awful. Carefully, he pressed his palm against the cloth, getting the murtlap to soak into Sirius’s skin. Sirius tried really hard not to tense up or to show just how badly the murtlap cloth was hurting. He didn’t want Rey to feel bad for applying the healing ointments to his skin. But bloody hell it burned something awful and Sirius pressed his foot as hard to the floor as he could and grit his teeth.

“I’m sorry,” Remus said for about the 900th time. “I’m really sorry.”

“I know you are, bloody hell,” Sirius hissed through his teeth.

When Remus had put a good amount of the murtlap on the wound and the cloth had managed to wipe away all the nasty pus and ooze from Sirius’s arm, he smeared the ointment salve onto a thick bandage and held it up, staring at the wound, at the half-moon of his teeth marks in the skin. “It’s gonna leave a scar,” he murmured.

“A terrific one,” Sirius agreed.

Remus looked at Sirius’s grinning face.

“It’s like you’ve branded me.”

Remus rolled his eyes.

“Here it is world, the Mark of Moony. Might as well have written Property of Mr. R. J. Lupin on my arse.”

Remus shook his head, “No. I’d never mark up your arse like that.”

Sirius smirked, “No?”

“No.” Remus’s voice was firm. “Your arse is far too perfect like it is.”

Sirius laughed and Remus blushed, but he knew Sirius would enjoy the compliment so he’d delivered it, even though it was so not the sort of thing that Remus Lupin would normally say. Which was part of what Sirius liked about it, truth be told. When Remus Lupin broke character, it made Sirius smile and it made this one particular twinkle happen in his eyes that didn’t always happen and Remus rather liked that twinkle. So every now and then he had to say something to trigger it.

Carefully, he put the bit of gauze down over Sirius’s wound and Sirius laid forward, biting a pillow between his teeth as the salve seeped into the open places of his arm. “Fuck… Fuckety-fucker-fuck,” he whispered into the pillow.

“Almost done.” Remus was wrapping the last of the bandages around Sirius’s arm.

Sirius was near to tears before it was done.

Remus leaned over him, his torso pressing to Sirius’s back, and he hooked his chin over Sirius’s shoulder and whispered in his ear, “Did I mention I’m sorry?” He ran his hand over Sirius’s hair.

“Once or twice,” Sirius answered quietly.

Remus kept his face there, his nose tapping against the soft spot of Sirius’s neck, right behind his ear at the end of his jaw… Sirius could feel his breath on his neck, warm and wonderful… and he closed his eyes, relishing the weight of Moony leaning over him and how bloody safe he felt there, like Remus Lupin was a sort of invisibility cloak, covering Sirius up from all the horrible stuff. He reached up his uninjured arm and touched the side of Remus’s face softly, feeling his scars under his fingers.

Remus kissed Sirius’s hand.

Sirius turned his head so he was looking up over his shoulder into Remus Lupin’s face - the blonde curls flopping over his forehead, shadowing the silver-pink scars… Remus’s eyes were closed, holding Sirius’s hand to his cheek, his eyes closed, breathing the smell of his palm… Sirius smiled up at him for a moment, then whispered, “Remus.”

Rey opened his eyes.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Sirius.”

“I know it’s stupid, and you think it’s terrible and you hate it and stuff but… Rey, I kinda like my bite. I hope it does scar… You can’t be the only one with badass scars all the time, you know. Some of the rest of us need them, too, and I really like that mine came from you. It’s like I’ve always got your mouth on me… even when we aren’t snogging.”

Remus shook his head, “Only you could make this dirty.”

“Oh Remus. You have no idea how dirty my mind is making this entire situation.”

Remus took a deep breath - “Well, Mr. Padfoot, I either have a fairly good idea or else you’ve got your wand in your trousers pocket.”

Sirius‘s eyes twinkled that special way as he laughed.