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Hufflepuff Spy


“Remedial Potions!” Sirius exclaimed, looking at the parchment that had been delivered to him just moments before. He looked up at Remus, who sat across from him at the Gryffindor house table in the Great Hall. “Humping hippogriffs! I’m not taking remedial potions!”

Remus held out a hand for the parchment and looked it over. “It looks as though you are, mate,” he replied. “See here, signed by the Headmaster and everything.” He passed it back. “I told you that you should be doing the classwork.”

“Potter should be doing it as well and I don’t see him getting notices for remedial potions.”

“His grades were higher than yours were.”

“Horseshit!”

“Yeah, he’s done better on the essays and all than you have,” Remus replied, “Seeing as he actually writes them and hands them in.”

“I write them.”

“You copy bits of mine and string together nonsense, rather,” Remus pointed out.

Sirius stared at the parchment before him, “Slughorn hates me.”

Remus shook his head, “I don’t think it’s a matter of his feelings for you, Sirius, I think it’s academic concern. This is our O.W.L. year and you haven’t even started revising --”

“It’s bleedin’ January!”

“I started revising last term, if you recall.”

“And you’re a nutter,” Sirius replied.

“I’m a nutter that’s not having to take remedial potions,” Remus answered with a shrug.

Sirius looked sour. “Says they’ve selected me a tutor. It better not be Potter or I’m quitting school.”

“You are not quitting school. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t until you come of age --”

“I do that in November,” Sirius reminded him.

“-- and besides that, remedial potions isn’t the end of the world, Sirius. You take them, work with a tutor a bit, and you get caught up and maybe you realize Potions isn’t so horrible and discover that when you apply yourself you’re actually very clever,” Remus finished.

Sirius scowled.

Remus buttered his toast. Honestly, he was sort of glad Sirius would be taking extra lessons. It meant that he would have some time without Sirius around that he could take for himself to catch up with James each week without Sirius complaining that he was being abandoned. Remus dunked a bit of toast into his mug of hot chocolate.

“Who do you reckon the tutor will be?” Sirius questioned.

Lily Evans had just sat down beside him on the bench, squeezing in between Sirius and Frank Longbottom, and she replied, “It’s me.”

Sirius stared at her, then groaned.

“What? What’s the matter?”

“You’re going to work me to the marrow, Evans.”

“If that’s what it takes to improve your grades,” she answered, “Then yes.”

Sirius groaned again and put his head down on the table.

“Eat,” Remus said, “You’ll feel better if you eat.”

“Bloody hell,” murmured Sirius.




Down the table, Peter was trying desperately to stay involved in a conversation James was holding with Meg Johnson about quidditch, but Peter knew very little about quidditch so his contributions were mostly things like “yeah” and “that’s interesting” and little noises like ooh and aah, and was therefore being mostly overlooked and forgotten about as James and Meg worked on drawing up a couple plays for the Seeker’s position for the upcoming game against Hufflepuff.

He glanced down the table just in time to see Jasper Odair come over from the Hufflepuff table and sweep down behind Lily Evans, wrapping his arms ‘round her shoulders from behind and leaning in to kiss her cheek softly as he said good morning to her. James, who’d been mid-sentence, let his words fall off and he stopped, holding up the sketch he and Meg had been working on to watch Lily laugh at something Jasper was saying.

That should’ve been him.

It should’ve been James who had come into breakfast and wrapped his arms about Lily Evans. It should be James’s lips pressed against Lily Evans’s soft cheeks. He could almost smell her… all lovely and sweet like she’d been in that hamburger shop back at the start of holiday, before he’d been absolutely mental and thrown out his chances by being so blasted noble.

Next time I won’t be noble. Next time I’ll just kiss her without any hesitation. I’ll smash my mouth against hers and enjoy every damn moment of it and it’ll be so good she’ll never want to stop smashing our lips together and it’ll be brilliant. He stared across at her, imagining it… practically feeling her mouth against his in his mind…

”Potter,” she’d say, ”You’re the most ruddy brilliant snogger there ever was. Marry me, Potter.”

“Potter…”

“Potter.”

“Potter.”

“Potter.” Meg’s was suddenly the voice he was hearing and he blinked back to reality. “You alright?” she asked.

“Sorry. Distracted.” James flushed.

Meg looked down the table to see Lily and Jasper. “If you get distracted every time she kisses him, you’ll never see clear again,” she said.

James looked thoroughly depressed at this. “Well that’s comforting, thanks a lot for that, Meg.”

She shrugged, “Just being real.”

Peter patted his shoulder.

James suddenly shouted, “Oi! Odair! Bugger off you Hufflepuff spy!”

Jasper looked up from Lily’s cheek at James - Lily frowned down at him and Sirius, Remus, Frank Longbottom and several other Gryffindors along the table in between turned to look over, too. “What?” Jasper asked.

“Coming over to this table, trying to spy and figure out what our strategies are for the game!”

“Seriously, don’t be an idiot, Potter,” Lily called, rolling her eyes, “He isn’t anywhere near you.”

“Yeah, James, he’s fine,” Meg said.

James was on a roll though. He’d gotten Lily to look his way and her attention was at least half of the purpose of instigating the incident. “Of course he wants us to think that’s all he’s up to but really he’s over here making certain that his team has an edge at the match!” James accused, “Hufflepuff need a foot up to win, then?” he taunted.“Go back to your own table, Odair. We’ll beat you badgers whether you spy on us or not out of pure talent!” he grinned.

“We’ve got plenty of talent in Hufflepuff, too, Potter,” Jasper said, standing upright, his eyes narrowing as he got defensive.

James answered haughtily, “I’ve more talent in my one hand here than you’ve got on your whole team, Odair!”

Lily’s face was red. “Potter!”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “There goes that ego again…”

“At least I deliver on my big ego, Black!” James replied.

Sirius’s eyes narrowed.

“Leave it be,” Remus pleaded as Peter grabbed James’s sleeve and tugged. “Don’t start a scene.”

Sirius sneered and turned back to his breakfast as Lily stood up, “Why don’t you shut it, Potter, and mind your own end of the table instead of monitoring ours? Or are we all so fascinating you can’t stand to look away for even a moment?”

Remus covered his eyes.

“Fascinating! Ha!” James got up and collected his things, “Bleedin’ right I find you lot fascinating, yeah right!” “C’mon, Pete, let’s go.”

Peter looked agonized. “But I’ve only just started eating,” he complained.

“Fine, stay here and eat then. I’m leaving.” James turned and walked off from the table, pausing down the opposite end to point at Jasper Odair, “Bring your best play to the game, Odair. You’ll want people to at least think you had a chance at the match!” He grinned, then stepped away from the table, winking at Lily, “May the best captain win, mate!”

“What an insufferable --” Lily muttered, watching James go.

Jasper shook his head, “Dunno what that was about. I do better go, though, love, gotta eat before Herbology.” He pecked her cheek again and ducked off.

Sirius was shovelling food into his mouth and Remus was staring up at the charmed ceiling, watching the snow fall and he sighed deeply and heavily as Lily looked ‘round between the two boys. “Can you even believe him? What a toerag he’s just been?”

Sirius snapped, “What a toerag he’s always been, you mean. Dunno how I never saw it before. Absolute nutter that one is.” Peter suddenly appeared, sitting beside Remus timidly. He looked at Sirius, then back to Remus. Sirius said, “And look at you, the prodigal mate. Only wanna sit with me when Potter isn’t available, is that it?”

Peter’s eyes went wide. “We… we agreed… you get Remus, so James gets me… I… divorced kids… six month split…”

Remus patted Peter’s arm, “It’s alright Pete.” He looked at Sirius, “Stop scaring the children, mate.”




Later, in the common room, James made a production of polishing his broomstick by the fire, making loud comments to Peter and Frank Longbottom about how fast he could max it out before the broom would begin to vibrate. “They say the new Stardust models are faster, but they vibrate when you get even halfway to the max speed, makes the ride mighty unsteady, you know? Can’t aim if you’re trying to balance your broom!” he shook his head, “You know, I think Odair has one of those Stardust models like I’m talking about, you watch him at the game how fast my Cleansweep outstrips him. You’ll notice the point of vibration is might lower on his.”

Lily rolled her eyes from the table, where she sat with the first years.

“Do you reckon James will really be able to out fly a Stardust on his Cleansweep?” Wally asked Liam.

Liam shrugged, “The Cleansweeps are fairly older models.”

“I heard James has asked his mum and dad for a Stardust for his birthday,” said Dexter, “He can’t hate them too much! My mum and dad said they might get me one for next Christmas!”

“If you do, can I have a go on it, mate?” asked Darcy excitedly.

“Sure you can!” said Dexter, nodding excitedly.

“Which broom do you think is more impressive, Lily?” asked Vivian, looking up at her.

Lily shook her head, “It’s not the broom that’s impressive, it’s the broom handler. Even a totally outdated model will fly brilliantly with the right handler!”

“Well who do you think is better?” Macy asked, “Jasper or James?”

Lily hesitated, looking over as James was doing a nasty impression of Jasper Odair with a vibrating broomstick, making very inappropriate jokes indeed, glancing her way to be sure she was looking as he mimed having a great broom between his legs. Lily shook her head and turned back to look at Macy, “Jasper, of course.”

“You’re only saying that on account of him being your boyfriend and all,” Vivian said, defensive of James Potter’s honor.

Lily said solemnly, “Jasper Odair could out fly James Potter any day of the week.”

Of course, even as she said it, she knew it wasn’t true. Nobody in their year had been able to outfly James Potter - even from day one of flying lessons. Not even in the tourney with Ilvermorny. Not even the great Hogwarts Legend Derek Bell had ever out flown James Potter!

But Lily simply couldn’t say she preferred Potter over Jasper Odair.

It just wasn’t right.




James became obsessed with the upcoming match. He lay in bed all that week, unable to stop thinking about it. He held it in his head in regard as strong as any obstacle he’d ever performed. He had to win. Somehow, his entire future seemed to be based upon whether he won or lost, and he felt as though if he did not manage to pull out that W against Hufflepuff - against Jasper Odair - that he’d never, ever have a shot with Lily Evans. His obsession pressed him to go out in the bitter cold onto the ground, light and dark, to practice. Without even Sirius to distract him from it, James rode his broom so hard that his knuckles were chaffed from the wind and his lips cracking.

“Going mental,” whispered Peter, staring up at Remus with desperation, “I dunno what to do. He’s gone mad. And I hate to think on what he’ll do if he loses!”




Regulus, too, had trouble sleeping that week, waiting eagerly for news from Kreacher, but none came. He lay in bed running his fingers over Maryrose’s medallion, listening to his classmates snoring comfortably in their beds, Barty Crouch muttering in his sleep… Regulus closed his eyes and fell into restless sleep of watery depths swallowing him up over and over…