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Oak, Rowan, Birch and Holly


Lily waited until it was quiet upstairs before she went to check on James.

There had been a night the month before, still reeling from her father’s death (not that she wasn’t still… it had only been a month, after all… and all of this anguish James as feeling was certainly reviving horrible emotions inside her), that she’d locked herself in her bedroom and sobbed and sobbed until there were no tears left in her eyes. She knew what it meant to want to be alone to cry and to mourn. She also knew there was a moment, not very long after all the tears were spent, that you lay there feeling horribly alone and empty and that was the moment she waited for… because she didn’t want anybody to feel that horrible emptiness.

Especially not someone as full of life as James Potter.

The floorboards in the upstairs hallway creaked as Lily walked and she pushed open the door to the bedroom.

James stood in the middle, his arms hanging to his sides, shoulders slumped. Papers were strewn about the room, and one of the walls had some damage - his fist had gone right through the plaster and his knuckles were bleeding from it, scraped by the drywall. Lily walked over and calmly lifted his hand up in hers, waving her wand over his knuckles without a word, healing them cleanly. She tucked her wand calmly into her pocket, then held out both her arms wide.

James looked up.

Quietly, Lily said, “C’mere.”

He stepped forward slowly, and she scooped her arms ‘round him, cupping one palm over his head as he laid his cheek against her shoulder. He closed his eyes and just breathed, his heart rate slowly steadying as she stroked her palm over his hair gently…

Lily Evans held James Potter until they heard the door below open and close and a rush of voices echoing up the stairs. James pulled back slowly, sweeping his hand over his eyes. She followed then, as he walked downstairs, and found Professors McGonagall and Viridi, Gideon and Fabian Prewett, and headmaster Dumbledore as well. Professor Viridi had let out a deep wail the moment her eyes landed upon Maryrose’s body laying on the couch, which was what they had heard from upstairs, and now she knelt beside her student, crying and holding onto Maryrose’s hands, tears pouring over her cheeks. McGonagall turned ‘round as James and Lily came down the stairs, her jaw quivering with sadness.

Although neither of them were technically still employed by the Ministry, Gideon and Fabian both went into Auror mode - asking questions about what happened, which Lily answered as James stood, staring numbly at the body as Dumbledore crouched beside Professor Viridi, whispering in her ear words of comfort, his arm around the poor Herbology teacher’s shoulders. James suddenly felt Lily Evans’s hand slide around his own, and she squeezed his fingers gently, staring into his eyes.

“Do you know where this cave is, Potter?” Gideon asked.

James nodded.

Fabian asked, “Could you show us?”

“He’s not showing you right now,” Lily said sternly before James, who was about to agree to do it, could say a word in reply. Lily glowered at them, “Shame on you! Can’t you see this poor boy is broken? He needs rest! He needs to sleep and recover. He’s only got one shoe on, for bleedin’ Merlin’s sake! You let him alone!”

Fabian looked abashed, “I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t mean - I just -” he blushed and turned away.

Professor McGonagall put her arms around James, “I agree with Miss. Evans. This boy needs a turn at a good rest. “And to think, Poppy has only just released you. She’s not going to like this.” McGonagall looked at Lily, then back to Dumbledore, who was still talking in low tones by the couch as Viridi sobbed, nodding and clutching Maryrose’s hand to her cheek. Drawing herself up like a mother hen, McGonagall turned back to the twins. “I will escort Mr. Potter and Miss. Evans back to the castle and see to it that they are properly taken care of. If you would both assist the Headmaster in anyway he sees fit, it would be most appreciated.”

“Yes, Minnie,” the Prewetts chorused.

“Come along, Miss Evans,” McGonagall said as she turned and guided James toward the door, Lily trailing after. They took the stairs into the yard and when they’d got a few steps away from the Shrieking Shack, McGonagall took hold on Lily’s hand and they disapparated outside the gates of Hogwarts on the other side of the village. With barely a pause, McGonagall guided them up to the gates, letting go of Lily’s hand to draw her wand from her billowing robes.

She’d intended to open the locks, but Hagrid was waiting by the gates and had them open before she could. He watched as Lily, McGonagall, and James came through and closed them, looking after them anxiously. “Is ev’rythin’ alrigh’, Professor?” Hagrid asked nervously, his giant keyring jingling in his hands as he worried the hoop through his fingers.

McGonagall replied, “We will get everything taken care of, Rubeus, you needn’t worry.”

“It ain’t true, then, what they’re sayin’ ‘round the castle? That Maryrose Jenkins is --?” Hagrid asked, fear in his eyes.

McGonagall’s jaw quivered. “I am sorry, Hagrid. But it seems that the rumors are true. Hogwarts has suffered a very great loss this day.”

Hagrid’s sobs could be heard echoing across the grounds, even as he drew out a handkerchief that looked like it could be a bed sheet.

Professor McGonagall walked them across the grounds to the entrance doors. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Jasper were waiting just inside the doors. Jasper was pacing nervously as the other three sat clustered about each other on the end of the steps. The moment McGonagall entered the castle, Jasper hurried over to Lily, who dropped James’s hand for the first time since the Shrieking Shack, and he caught her up in a tight hug, squeezing her tight to his chest.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter stood up as McGonagall let Lily stay with Jasper and started toward the stairs with James.

“He is going to the hospital wing,” McGonagall said, and she looked at the three of them, especially Sirius, “This boy needs rest. If I hear any of you have disturbed him, I will be most displeased.”

Remus reached out and squeezed James’s shoulder with his palm. “We’ll be with you in spirit, mate,” he said.

James nodded.

Peter squeaked, “Feel better James,” as McGonagall pulled him away.

Sirius turned and followed after them just the same, completely ignoring what Minnie had just told him, trotting along about three feet behind. She waited until they’d got to the third floor before McGonagall said, “Mr. Black, if you’re so blatantly going to disregard my request, at least come up here and assist me.”

He hustled to join them, coming up to James’s side and putting his arm ‘round his mate to support his weight and McGonagall allowed her arm to slide from James’s shoulders, letting Sirius help him, and led the way to the hospital wing. Sirius looked up into James’s face, “Gonna be alright, mate,” he said thickly.

James nodded.

In the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey clucked her tongue and set James into a corner bed. Across from him was Regulus Black, already asleep, having had a horrible anxiety attack in the the hallway when they’d told McGonagall what happened. Sirius helped James into the bed and tucked him in under the blankets as Madam Pomfrey scuttled over with a large bottle of the sleeping draught. James looked over at her as she poured a heavy dose of it out into a cup and he asked, “Can you make me forget? Make me forget it all ever happened? Change the past?”

“I cannot,” Madam Pomfrey said, “But I can give you dreams and your body will heal and with a healed body you’ll be better equipped to begin the mending of your soul.” She smiled sadly and held out the little cup of draught. “Here you are.”

James took the draught and he downed it quickly.

Sirius grabbed a stool, “I’ll be here, James.”

James’s eyes met Sirius’s, he wanted to say something - something between thank you and I’m sorry - but he didn’t know how… and already his lips were heavy from the draught, already his brain was starting to shut down to rest… His eyes searched Sirius’s a moment…

Sirius smiled. “I know, mate.”

And James’s eyes closed and he fell asleep.




The Great Hall was morose that evening, all of the students silently staring down at the tables as they gathered, the usual talking and chatter that would have filled the walls was absent. Even Mulciber, Avery, and the other Slytherins were quiet. When they all had gathered, and McGonagall had returned from fetching Sirius from the hospital wing (prying him away from James’s bedside had been a near impossible task), Dumbledore stood up. He walked carefully to the great gold podium at the front of the room on the raised platform where the staff table sat and he took off his halfmoon glasses a moment, polishing them with his robe sleeves and then raised his wand to his throat to magnify it to allow himself to be heard across the Hall.

He contemplated a moment, looking over the Hufflepuff table, which was by far the saddest of the tables, and finally he said, “Maryrose Jenkins was a miraculous young woman. Powerful. Beautiful. A wonderful heart full of kindness, always giving anything that she had for the good of her friends and her family. Maryrose Jenkins had a heart of pure gold. She’s died a hero, bravely facing a terrible enemy… an enemy we all have in common, whether we are Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor… or Slytherin.” His eyes flickered over the Slytherin table. “An enemy who would destroy even his closest followers, just as heartlessly as he has done Miss. Jenkins and many others before her, should they step even one foot out of line.”

Avery looked at Mulciber, who discreetly rolled his eyes at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore shifted his weight and continued, “Upon the request of Professor Viridi, we shall be planting four trees in the courtyard in memory of Maryrose Jenkins - a Holly, a Birch, an Oak, and a Rowan. The Oak tree, a symbol of strength - and the Rowan, protection -- both of which Maryrose showed in her death, sacrificing her own safety and life for the life of another. The Birch tree is a tree whose white bark speaks of purity... a tree often used for wands associated with great power in the arts of healing magic. Maryrose’s wand was made of birch. The Holly is a tree associated with the time of Maryrose’s birth-month, and the lore of the Holly is a symbol of the cycles of life - of death and rebirth in the times of winter. It is a symbol of hope that even in our bleakest times, there soon will come better days. The trees shall remind us of Maryrose, and of the values she held most dear, of the things she was, the things she has left behind for us. They shall be a reminder that though we suffer today in the loss of a beautiful soul such as hers, at the hands of an enemy whose hatred seems so unstoppable, there shall come a day in which that enemy is defeated, a day in which hope shall reawaken. The trees shall remind us that though today we feel there is no coming of tomorrow - tomorrow will come - and with it will come healing, with it will come strength. May the spirit of hope never fade from these castle walls, may we never surrender our greatest asset in the fight against evil. In this way, may Maryrose Jenkins be honored. Keep strong the light of hope.”

His words hung in the air… and he reached into his robes and withdrew his wand. “Lumos.” He held his wand high.

One by one, students and staff alike joined him, lighting their wands and holding them over their heads until the ceiling reflected them against the enchanted dark night sky, their lights shining in the deep blue, like the stars.




That night, Sirius walked up to the table in the common room where Lily was sitting, doing poorly at concentrating on the revisions she was trying to do. Sirius stood by her side, his shadow the only indication he was there as she finished the sentence she was reading and she looked up at him. His eyes were red, “Can I talk with you?” he asked quietly.

Lily nodded.

They slipped out of the Gryffindor common room and Lily led him to the stairwell where she and Remus often went to talk and they sat on the stone steps and Sirius stared at his hands a moment, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward, thinking. Lily sat beside him, looking up at him with patient expectation. Finally, Sirius said, “Thank you for being there today.”

“You sort of forced me to by taking my hand when Kreacher disapparated,” Lily reminded him.

Sirius said, “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m glad I was able to help, rather,” Lily said.

Sirius said, “Even though it was Potter you were helping?”

Lily looked ashamed a moment. She hung her head and looked at her knees. “I’m sorry that I have made it appear that I hate James. I don’t. I really don’t.” She looked up at Sirius. “Can you keep a secret?”

Sirius nodded.

“Even from James?”

He hesitated, but then he replied, “Yeah, I s’pose, if you really want me to.”

Lily said, “He makes me uncomfortable because he makes me feel things I don’t understand. He always has. He likes me, even when I’m being my most horrid to him. He always knows what to say, what to do. He’s always so brave, and always so gentle and… and sometimes he looks at me with those eyes…” Lily sighed. “Sirius, I’m afraid to feel what I do about James.”

Sirius said, “Why?”

“Because it’s too strong. It feels like I’ll lose myself in it.”

Sirius ran his palms over his shins, “I felt that way about Remus. I was afraid to let myself love him.”

Lily looked at him.

“I think I was afraid if I did, if I ever let myself feel such a strong emotion that I’d get swept away by it and if anything ever happened - if I ever lost him - that I wouldn’t know how to get out of the current and I’d just float away forever on it… you know what I’m saying?” Lily nodded. Sirius continued, “But if you don’t let yourself feel it… you just… you just go on feeling it anyway, just it’s suppressed, and… and why waste something as powerful as all that? Life isn’t very long, really, I mean what’s a hundred years in the great scheme of things over all? It’s barely even a speck. And maybe all us specks deserve something great, something bigger than us. And love’s bigger than anything, isn’t it? So… so maybe if you feel love for James… maybe you ought to just… I dunno… accept it.”

Lily took a deep breath.

Sirius said, “I just wanted to thank you for being there, anyway, whether you meant to be or not. I’m sure that it meant a lot to James.”

Lily nodded.

“And for being there for me. The other day, I mean. Listening to me.”

“You’re welcome. Anytime.”

Sirius stood up and went to the foot of the stairs. He turned back, “For what it’s worth, Evans, I don’t think you’d get swept away in it if you let yourself feel it.” He held out his hand to help her up, “I think you’re a god damn river of love already… and one more current would only make you stronger.”