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Punishment for the Crime


Remus was doubled over, clutching his head in his hands as he sat between James and Peter on chairs outside McGonagall’s office. “Oh we’re in such deep trouble,” he murmured. “We’re all gonna get detentions. Probably this will be on our permanent records. It’s illegal to use amortentia isn’t it?”

James patted his back, but stopped when Remus winced, his spine still sore from the pending moon. James bent over instead, “Hey, it’ll be alright, Moony. McGonagall’s not going to be too angry at you; it’s Minnie! Probably just have us write lines or something. You know how she is!”

Remus felt sick to his stomach and he wasn’t sure if it was nervousness over getting in trouble or if it was from his insides getting ready to go wolf the next day. Sirius had been in there for over fifteen minutes alone now. Remus was afraid of what questions McGonagall would ask, and also what fibs Sirius was telling her that they’d get caught in if he simply tried to tell the truth. He could feel his face going red from just the thought of trying to round-about the truth with Minerva McGonagall. He would never be able to lie to her.

“Breathe, Moony,” James said.

Remus wasn’t sure he remembered how to do it properly.

Suddenly the door opened and McGonagall stepped out, followed by Sirius, whose jaw and shoulders were squared. She looked them over and said, in a very clipped Scottish accent, “Mr. Potter, in.” She nodded to the door of her office and James looked once more at Remus apologetically, then turned and walked through the door like he was taking on a death march. McGonagall watched him go, waved her wand to close the door behind him, and then looked at Remus and Peter. “According to Mr. Black, you two had nothing to do with the incident in the Great Hall. Is this true?”

Remus tried very hard not to look surprised.

Peter squeaked, “Yes. It’s true. We weren’t anywhere near the Great Hall!”

Remus stayed silent, his eyes still on his trainers, rubbing his knees. He was glad Peter at least was able to say something. He could feel McGonagall looking at him expectantly though, so he forced a nod and reminded himself not to throw up.

Professor McGonagall eyed them carefully, then said, “Very well. Off you go.” She looked to Sirius, “You, Mr. Black, are to stay here and wait. I shall come back for you in a moment.” She turned to the door of the office, then paused and glanced back, “I won’t have any fraternizing out here. You’re to think of what you’ve done and we’ll discuss your punishment in a moment.” She looked at Remus and Peter, “Shoo, both of you.”

“Yes Professor,” Peter nodded and he scrambled to his feet and hurried to go, waving for Remus to come along.

Remus glanced at Sirius, wanting to stay, but knowing McGonagall was going to watch ‘til they were gone, and he winced as he got to his feet, his knees buckling slightly, and he walked after Peter, wishing Pete would slow down so that his pained gait wouldn’t be so obvious… He forced himself to walk a bit faster, to bear the pain a bit more… It wasn’t as though moving slower made it better…

Sirius watched him go, then looked up at McGonagall with his most charming smile, his eyes glittering. “My boyfriend’s quite an innocent, sexy bastard, inn’t’he?”

McGonagall eyed him. “Mr. Black, you are to think of what you’ve done and feel the remorse that’ll surely follow!”

Sirius nodded, “Remorse. Yes. I’ll work on that, Minnie.”

She nodded, “Very good.” And she turned, opening the door to go back in to speak to James, who was scrambling frantically back to the chair, having pressed his ear to the office door to try and hear what she was saying in the hallway.

“Oh - Minnie?” Sirius said, distracting her so James had time to act natural. “James didn’t do a whole lot, either, really. It was really all me.”

“We shall see,” McGonagall answered, and she turned into the office and left Sirius in the hall.

Sirius watched the door closed behind her, then rubbed his chin and lay himself down across the three chairs. “Remorse… hmm…” he hummed to himself, throwing his feet up onto the back of the third chair so that his heels rested on the back and his toes leaned against the wallpaper. He smirked, “Yeah, right, Minnie. That was way too fucking hilarious to feel remorseful over! What’s she playing at!”




All in all, the punishment for the crime wasn’t too terrible. Remus and Peter got off completely. James and Sirius were both assigned the arduous task of writing a paper on the history of illegal potion making and why it wasn’t right to give someone a potion without their knowledge. Despite how easy on them McGonagall had really gone, not all of them were happy with the results.

“This is bullshit,” James announced that night as they sat about in their dormitory. He was playing catch-and-release with the snitch, laying on his back, his hair a wild mess. “Snape had Evans under a love potion for months and when we told on him, what’d he get? Nothing! Bleedin’ Slughorn didn’t do a blasted thing. Didn’t even have to write a ruddy paper on stupid potion making or whatever the blast it is.”

Remus looked up from where he was writing their papers. “Well, I mean, technically, neither are you…”

“But McGonagall doesn’t know that.”

Remus sighed.

James rolled over and the snitch zipped away. He watched it out of the corner of his eye a second, then turned to Sirius, “It really was a brilliant prank, though. I commend you.”

Sirius half-bowed his head, but had to stop before he flipped forward. “Thanks, I’m here all term,” he announced. He was sitting on one of the tilted-back desk chair, messing with Marlene’s camera, taking photos of himself making idiotic faces, then turning it and discreetly taking pictures of the other three.

Peter said, “Why’d you lot let us get off anyway?”

Sirius’s eyes flitted to Remus, then he said, “It was my idea. And… I mean, we made you do it… and...”

Remus murmured, without looking up, “And because you didn’t want to get the werewolf sent to detention?”

Sirius looked at James.

“You’re suffering enough already, mate,” James said.

Remus sighed, frustrated, shifted a bit and flipped the page in the History of Magic book he was referencing for the papers. He didn’t look up.

“Sorry, but what’s that attitude on about?” Sirius asked, “We did you a favor.”

“Well I don’t need favors or charity,” Remus replied. “I’m not weak, I can take on punishment just as well as you lot can!”

“That’s not --” James started but Sirius cut him off.

“Fine. Next time, you can bloody go do detention and we’ll get off. For now, give saying thank you a run.”

Remus eyed Sirius and said, stiffly, “Thank you.”

Sirius smirked.

Peter looked between them with an uneasy expression.

Sirius stretched, “Anyway… so now that we’ve got our pranking shoes back on, I’ve got another proposal to make. I’ve been planning this one for a bit now. A prank of epic proportions. A prank to beat even last year’s upside-down-Hogwarts prank.”

Peter looked up with wide eyes and James grinned. “This is gonna be good,” James murmured.

Sirius’s face glowed with the rush of it. “It’s even more brilliant than the last.”

James said, “They always are.”

Remus’s eyebrows went up and he said, “You lot aren’t even out of trouble for the last thing yet and you’re going to start in on another thing? Bleeding hell.”

James suddenly stuck out his hand, rolling quickly and caught the snitch just as it went past. His fingers closed ‘round it tight and he smirked as he drew it down and grinned at the frantic, fluttering wings that stuck out between his fingers. “Got’cha.”

Sirius smirked, “It may even be the best plan yet.”

“You ought to at least let me finish your last punishment before adding more to it,” Remus said, his voice a bit snippety.

Sirius looked surprised at the attitude, “Nobody told you that you had to help.”

“Good. I’m not planning to.”

“I meant with the damned papers, but you don’t have to help with the bleedin’ prank either if you don’t want to!” Sirius said, flaring up in the way only Sirius could.

Remus’s face flushed. “Fine. I won’t.”

Peter looked back and forth between the two as James rolled over and shoved the snitch into the drawer of his nightstand. “Come now, don’t be fighting. Not on Maraudertines Day.”

Remus turned back to the paper.

Sirius leaned back in his seat again and stretched his arms up behind his head, clamping his fingers together and staring up at the ceiling.

Suddenly Peter announced, “I have chocolate. Anyone want chocolate? Chocolate always helps!”

James held out his hand, “I’ll have some, as I didn’t get any from anyone else.”

Peter broke and handed out the bar so everyone got a bit, though for the first time ever Remus turned it down and concentrated wholly on the paper without looking up. Sirius chewed on his piece and rocked himself on the two chair legs slowly, watching Remus’s quill scratch along on the parchment. “Also I was thinking that we ought to go through with our usual full moon activity tomorrow night...”

Remus’s jaw tightened.

“....After all, we don’t need a werewolf to have some fun in the woods, do we?”

James broke his bit of chocolate in half again and again ‘til he had tiny little bits a little gulley he’d made in his duvet like a bowl and he dusted the chocolate crumbs from his fingers, glancing at Sirius, then Remus, and back to Sirius. “Well, I mean --”

Sirius said, “It’ll be a ball.”

Remus looked up, “Yes, go play in the woods and nearly get kissed by a dementor again. Brilliant. And for no reason, too. Aren’t you brave.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

Remus turned back to the parchment a moment while they all stared at him, “Your stupid paper’s done. I’ll do yours tomorrow James.” He shoved the completed paper in Sirius’s direction.

Sirius reached for the paper and picked it up, looking it over.

Remus paused, looked over at Sirius, and said levelly, “You said you weren’t mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

Remus shook his head, “Yeah right.” And he rolled over, pulling the blankets with him over his head.

James looked away, down at his chocolate.

“Maraudertines Day feels an awful lot like Valentines Day after all,” Peter commented.




Sirius woke up in the night, sat straight up in bed, his heart racing from the terrible nightmare... He looked over at Remus, who was asleep, curled up tight in a ball, but not whimpering for the first time all night. Sirius didn’t want to wake him up… He’d say what he had to in the morning. For now, he just didn’t want to be alone. So, Sirius slid out of bed and crept ‘round the room, changed into Snuffles, and leaped up onto James’s bed, nudging James’s face with his muzzle.

James groaned.

Snuffles wiggled under the duvet and slid his way along James’s side, pressing against his legs, and curled around his knees.

“Alright, Sirius?” James murmured.

The dog snuggled closer.

James sighed and scratched Snuffles behind the ears as they fell back to sleep.