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Tossed


Jasper Odair was sitting at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall, laughing with his mates. Harry Warbeck and Jonathan Abbott were having an eating contest, seeing who could eat the most amount of sausages in an allotted amount of time, and everyone at Hufflepuff table was gathered around them, laughing, chanting, rooting one or the other on… Jasper was shouting for Harry to go-go-go-go when there came a tap on his shoulder and he turned ‘round to see Alabaster Jackson with wide, apologetic eyes.

“Hullo Al,” Jasper said, “How’ve you been?” Then, without waiting for an answer, he said, “Get a load of this, Harry’s about to eat his fifth sausage in under a minute’s time! Gonna beat Jon with no problem at all!” and he waved at the two frantically eating boys.

Alabaster stared at Jasper funny, “You’re -- you’re okay, then?”

Jasper glanced between the contest and Alabaster, “Of course I’m okay, what kind of question’s that?”

“I mean, after … after being tossed?”

“Tossed?” Jasper gave Alabaster a funny look, “What do you mean, tossed?”

“By Evans.”

Jasper turned away from the contest altogether now - at the mention of Lily, Alabaster had gained Jasper’s full attention. “What’re you talking about?” Jasper asked.

Alabaster looked nervous. “You… you haven’t heard then.”

“Heard what, exactly?” Jasper asked, his face folding into a nervous expression, “Is something wrong with Lily?”

Alabaster flushed, “I - I don’t - don’t think I’m the one that ought to tell you - Oh bloody hell. I’m sorry. Nevermind. As though I was never here, yeah?” and he tried to back away but Jasper grabbed his wrist quickly.

“No you don’t, Al,” Jasper said, shaking his head, “What’s going on?”

“Bloody hell.” Alabaster shook his head.

“Tell me,” Jasper said.

Alabaster’s face was redder than red and his voice shook as he slowly explained, “Well I’ve only just heard it from - from her best friend - and I thought - I thought you knew - I mean, the way he said it… I thought you knew already… I just wanted to say sorry… and -- Bloody hell. Jasper. I’m sorry, I’ve heard that she’s tossed you… for James Potter... They were caught sleeping together in the library last night!”

Jasper stared at Alabaster.

“I’m sorry!” Alabaster gasped.

Jasper sat, stunned. “Sleeping together? In the library?”

“On the floor,” Alabaster nodded.

Jasper’s face was quite pale. “Lily Evans? My Lily?” he pressed, unable to wrap his mind about it and Alabaster nodded, “And James Potter??”

Alabaster nodded again. “I’m - I’m sorry, mate.”

Jasper’s eyes were unfocused as he sat there, not even giving a damn that the sausage eating contest had come to an end, not hearing it when the other Hufflepuffs around him noticed what was happening, asking him if he was alright, not caring when Alabaster was repeating his apology, saying again and again he was sorry that Lily had been caught with James Potter…

Jasper stood up. “I… gotta go…” he murmured and he walked out of the Great Hall to a flurry of apologies as the story spread, person to person, quicker than any rumor had ever spread through the castle ever before. The news even spread through the Slytherins at their house table, and it was there that Regulus Black overheard as the words Lily and James Potter were caugh sleeping together seared through the students. He was less surprised by the news than he was surprised that everyone else seemed surprised - and even more so by the fact that Severus Snape was grinning at the end of the table, like a Cheshire Cat….

It spread so rapidly that had already reached the Hufflepuff common room before Jasper had - and as he entered he was accosted by Marty Brown running up to him, “Jasper! Are you alright?” she asked, nervous as he passed her.

Jasper numbly shook his head no, but he didn’t slow down to accept any offers for help, either, he just went right to his room and locked the door behind him.




“AFTER ALL I’VE DONE… AFTER I RISK MY LIFE FOR YOU… FACING PERIL OF UNEXPLAINABLE MEASURE… YOU AREN’T EVEN GOING TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND EVANS?!” Sirius flailed his arms about, “HOW IS THIS JUSTICE!? HOW IS THIS FAIRNESS!!? A TERRIBLE BLIGHT UPON THE HISTORY OF OUR FRIENDSHIP, POTTER!!!” He waved his arm over his eyes, like a swooning lady of Jane Austen proportions.

James shook his head, “I can’t. A gentleman never kisses and tells,” he added, smirking, “Somebody taught us that in, what was it? Second year?”

“Who told you that you’re a gentleman?” Remus asked, equally eager to hear the tale.

His question was nearly drowned out by Sirius’s cry, “I’M A BLITHERING IDIOT!! A FUCK-UPPER OF MY OWN DESTINY!” he threw himself across the bed, his head landing in Remus’s lap as he reached for the ceiling, “Spin my thread, Clotho! Dispense it, dear Lachesis! PREPARE YOUR SCISSOR ATROPOS!”

“Bloody hell, will you calm down?” Remus said, looking down at him.

“You’re SO dramatic,” Peter agreed.

“I’m not dramatic - I’m slowly dying from lack of information! My two very best mates have snogged --”

“Since when is Lily Evans your very best mate?” asked Remus, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, what am I? Fourth place now??” Peter asked, offended.

“Picking on a dying man’s last words! Can’t even wait for the fates to take me!” Sirius wailed. “OH ATROPOS! BE MERCIFUL WITH YOUR CUT, MADAM! SWIFT!!” He set to writhing as though dying.

James smirked as he carefully finished folding the Marauders’ Map, on which he’d been watching Lily Evans’s dot since they’d parted ways in the common room minutes before. He tucked the Map beneath his pillow, glancing over at Sirius, who was twitching, his eye rolled back in his eye sockets, and then he went quite still, letting his tongue hang out the side of his mouth.

“And… I think we’ve lost him,” Remus said dryly, looking up to meet James’s eyes. “Good job, you’ve killed Padfoot.”

James laughed, “Well damn, that’s a bit inconvenient, isn’t it?” He looked about for his favorite Gryffindor sweater and, when he couldn’t find it, he pulled a new one out of his trunk and shrugged it over his shoulders. “Oh well. Lot, think Frank Longbottom will be the new fourth Marauder?”

“Yeah, he probably wouldn’t make me be his fourth best friend, either,” Peter said, glancing at Sirius, “Even though it’s me what supplies him with licorice wands for his addiction!”

Sirius stayed lolling over Remus’s lap, his tongue still hanging out, eyes still rolled back, only just barely breathing to give the best impression of death he possibly could.

Remus’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “Oi, now that I’m single again - and Jasper Odair is about to find himself single, too - you reckon I could get a feel of those magnificent biceps?”

“I’M ALIVE!” Sirius shouted, sitting up, “Don’t you dare feel Odair’s bleedin’ arm humps!”

Remus grinned at James, “Oi look at that, I’ve raised the dead.”

The boys all laughed as Sirius glared at Remus, “I mean it, or Odair will be finding hims quite deflated…” he waved his wand about threateningly.

“They aren’t balloons to pop, you idiot,” laughed Remus. “They’re mounds of pure man muscle.”

“STOP IT!” Sirius yelled, “YOU’RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO NOTICE MY MAN MUSCLE!”

There was a sound at the door - a throat clearing - and all four of them turned to look at the doorway and there was Frank Longbottom, grinning like a cheshire cat.

“Hey, look, it’s Replacement Sirius,” James said.

“Bugger off Potter,” Sirius said. “Oi Frank, what’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

Remus shoved Sirius.

“What? If you can look at Odair’s arm humps then I can look at --” Sirius’s eyes raked over Frank quickly, found nothing particularly comparable in visual pleasurability to Odair’s biceps, and finished, lamely, “-- Frank.”

Peter couldn’t help it, he started laughing, covering his face.

Frank looked down at himself, “Alright then, not sure what that’s about, but gonna let it go because it sounds a bit creepy…” he looked at James, “Besides, I’ve bigger things to talk about you bloody DOG!”

“He’s not a dog. I’m the dog,” complained Sirius, smirking.

Frank, of course, didn’t get it and therefore didn’t acknowledge the comment, assuming it was something more to do with Sirius looking at him, and he turned to James, “Potter, I wanted to be the first to congratulate you!”

“Congratulate me?” James asked, a pit drilling it’s way right through his stomach.

“Yeah, mate! You and Lily Evans!” Frank was beaming.

James stared at him.

“The two of you finally snogging! Brilliant! It took you all of five years, but you’ve finally made her see you aren’t just an immature little blighter, haven’t you?”

James paled.

“Sleeping together! And in the library!”

Sirius looked ‘round at James. “Where’d you hear that load, Longbottom?” Sirius asked.

“It’s all over the school, isn’t it?” he laughed, “You know how things like this spreads like wildfire! Ali heard it from Meg who heard it from Annalee who heard it from Marlene who heard it from Harry Warbeck who overheard Alabaster Jackson telling Jasper Odair he was sorry Evans had tossed him and --”

“Merlin’s beard.” James ducked ‘round Frank quickly.

Peter muttered, “Well then.”

Sirius glanced at Peter, then to Remus, and then turned to Frank, “Alright Longbottom, seeing Evans is probably going to kill Potter -- you interested in being the Fourth Marauder?”