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Why’s it a Plural For?


They didn’t go far. They took the knight bus back to the Lupin house and set up camp in the backyard. They had a small fire (James was too nervous of flames now to allow them to stoke it too high) and set their sleeping bags beside it on the ground so that their heads were all together, skipping a tent so they could see the stars as they lay there on their backs.

James had told his mum where they’d gone and why, so when they’d returned from fetching Peter, it was to find the adults had gone to bed, but Dora had left a full array of snacks and treats out on the kitchen table - including a cake, with frosting that read HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETER across the top. Peter had nearly cried at the sight of it and hugged James as tight as he could.

Now they lay in the backyard with the array of food stowed in their bellies, a bit of frosting still stuck to the corners of Peter’s mouth, and staring up at the sky, telling Peter all about everything that had happened since they’d said goodbye on Platform 9¾.

Peter was relieved to hear that the letters he’d written to Remus in Iceland had gone unanswered because Remus had come back to the UK, and that the ones he’d sent to Sirius and James had been unanswered after the fire at the Potter’s house. He felt bad for James having lost everything - he offered to give James some of his things to help James out, even, but James refused citing the fortune his parents had sitting about in Gringotts. He thanked Peter just the same, though, and appreciated the gesture. Peter nodded vigorously.

Peter was also eager to hear the details about what happened with Lily Evans and how James had gotten to kiss her and he stared wistfully as James described how soft Lily’s mouth was and how perfect it had been before the Death Eaters had shown up to interrupt them. “It was everything I’ve dreamt it would be all of my life,” James said breathlessly.

“Are you lot dating then?” Peter asked, eager.

James hesitated. “I… dunno.”

“What do you mean you dunno?” Sirius asked, “Of course you’re bloody dating. You snog a girl and you’re dating, that’s how it works.”

Remus said, “Is it, though?”

Sirius rolled over and looked at the tops of the other three boys’ heads. “Of course it is. If I leaned over and snogged James right now --”

“Don’t you dare,” James said.

“-- wouldn’t that mean I was dating him?”

Remus replied, “He’s already your boyfriend.”

“He’s my harem,” Sirius corrected. “Get it right, Moonslice.”

Remus looked over at Sirius, “You do know that a harem is supposed to be like the multiple wives of, say, a Sultan or something, yeah?”

Sirius said, “James is enough to seem like many.” Sirius reached over and patted James’s shoulder.

James said, “Oi, Sultan, I’m not comfortable with your touching me while your wife’s right here. I’ve seen Remus go wolf, and I’d rather not piss him off.”

Sirius grinned, “Remus isn’t jealous of you, Prongs. Are you, Moony?”

Remus answered, “I already know where he goes on Tuesdays and Bank Holidays, Prongs.”

Peter laughed. It felt good to laugh.

“My point is, you should be with Evans,” Sirius said. “You should, like, ask her.”

“I haven’t heard from her since that day in St. Mungo’s when she let me sleep with her!” James exclaimed.

“WHAT?” Peter dropped a chocolate bar he’d started unwrapping and it smacked him in the chest.

“ON her,” James corrected. Then, because Peter was still sputtering, he added, “Against her. On her lap. On chairs. In public. Not like -- just literal sleeping.”

“Oh,” Peter said, calming down. “That’s different.”

“Yes, very much,” James replied.

Peter managed to get the chocolate bar unwrapped then and he broke it into pieces and passed it around but only Remus took some so Peter split it even with Remus, who happily munched the chocolate.

Peter had missed this so much, this laying about and feeling the friendship in the air among them, far warmer than the fire or the summer air. The flickering orange glow added to the atmosphere and it made him feel safe and at home more than home had done for the past two months. He wished he could live in this moment, right here under the stars with the other three, for all the rest of his life. It was everything he ever wanted - to be included.

They kept on talking, the conversation spiraling from Lily Evans to how Peter’s summer had been so far and he lied about it, telling them a load of tosh about a family trip to the sea, which brought up Sirius’s trip with Lily, so they discussed Vernon Dursley and Petunia and that led into Sirius’s experience with Ace Dante (Peter wanted to go hex him, too, but Ace had already been arrested by then). Sirius told Peter about Dorcas Meadowes and how Dorcas had once gone out with Gideon Prewett and the lot of them agreed that they’d have to try to get Dorcas and Gideon back together.

“She still likes im, you can tell the way she looked at him that night at the Ministry after we flew the car,” Sirius said, “And the tone of her voice when she told me, too.”

“Marauders Matchmaking Services - tell us, how may we direct your lovelife?” James said.

Remus laughed. “That can be on our calling cards.”

“YES!” Sirius said eagerly. “Just think of all the galleons we could make if we offered matchmaking services about the school and ---”

“Sirius, no. Down boy,” Remus directed.

They all laughed and Sirius said moodily, “Well, we would be rich if we did it.”

Remus leaned over and kissed Sirius’s forehead. “One day you’ll come up with a get rich quick scheme that will work, but matchmaking services are certainly not going to be it.”

Sirius grinned.

The chatter and silliness continued on until they were getting sleepy and the fire was dying beside them and Remus was nodding off, his eyelids getting heavy and Sirius was caught slowly inching his sleeping sack closer to Remus’s bit by bit. Peter was glowing with happiness and James had taken off his glasses and folded them up, laying them inside his trainer for safe keeping overnight…

“You know,” Sirius said into the dark as the last ember of the fire went out - mostly for distraction sake as he slid out of his own sleep sack and into Remus’s - “I’ve been wondering something for some time now…”

“Here we go,” murmured Remus, but he moved to accommodate Sirius anyway, wrapping his arms around him and laying his head sleepily against Sirius.

“What’s that?” asked James with a wide yawn, pretending not to notice Sirius smushing in beside Remus.

“Well,” Sirius said, “It’s your name, James.”

“What about my name?”

“Why is it James?” Sirius said.

“Reckon because his mum and dad liked it,” Peter said.

“Yeah, what sort of question is that?” James asked, “What’s yours Sirius for?”

“Because my family has a thing with celestial names - Orion, Regulus, Sirius, Bellatrix...” Sirius said, then, “That’s not what I meant anyway. Why’s it a plural for? What’s the S for?”

“That’s just how it’s spelled, idiot,” James said, “It isn’t a plural at all.”

“Jaaaaaaames,” Sirius drawled. “It is a plural, though. Like, there’s more than one Jame.”

“Perhaps that’s how he’s a harem,” Remus murmured, “Because of all of the Jame he is.”

Sirius snorted and kissed Remus’s chin, “You’re brilliant.”

“Remcyclopedia,” said James.

“Multiple Jame,” shot back Remus.




Next morning, they were all laying asleep as the sun was coming up, the birds twittering in the trees and Remus tangled around Sirius like he was some sort of crazy crawling vine, Remus’s legs and arms all about the tiny frame of Sirius’s, their torsos pressed together, the sleeping bag tight around the two of them. The sun was glinting into James’s eyes, and reflecting off his glasses and the windows of the house. Peter groaned, his back stiff from the night on the ground. Sirius stretched as much as he could with Remus all over him like he was, and he lazily kissed Remus’s neck from below, straining to press his mouth against his skin. Remus ran his hand through Sirius’s hair… “Good dog,” he murmured. Sirius smirked and licked Remus’s chin as a response. Remus murmured, “Bad human.”

Sirius giggled.

Suddenly the backdoor of the Lupin house opened and Ned Veigler was on the porch and he yelled, “Sirius? Sirius wake up.” Ned thumped down the steps into the yard.

“SIRIUS!” Dorcas Meadowes voice was louder and much more panicked than Ned’s, “SIRIUS YOUR O.W.L.! We’re running late!”

Blast!” Sirius grumbled and there was a great deal of struggling as he wormed out from under Remus and scrambled to get up, running across the grass, “Why the fuck does this keep happening with the sleeping in?!” he grumbled and he tripped over James as he grabbed up his boots and tugged them on, hopping across the yard as Remus sat up in the sleeping sack and James reacted to the pain of being stepped all over…

“Good luck!” Remus yelled, “You can do it! You studied so hard!”

Sirius waved as he followed Dorcas Meadowes up the steps and into the house.

Ned looked across the yard at the three stirring boys and said, “When you lot are ready, I’ve made breakfast.” He stepped back inside.

“Breakfast!” Peter was up.

James laughed, seeing the frosting and chocolate smeared upon Peter’s face. “You’ve still got dinner stuck to your mouth, Pete.”

Peter wiped his mouth.

Remus was staring after Sirius still. “He’ll do alright,” James told Remus reassuringly. “You know he studied.”

“I know, but he’s him,” Remus said with a sigh. “And if anything can go wrong -- it does with him. It should be a new law of physics.”

“That would be a very serious law,” Peter said.

They all groaned.

“He’d be so bleedin’ proud of you, Wormtail,” James laughed.