- Text Size +
Hallucinations


“Well, you lot, it’s finally happening.” Sirius held up the letter he’d gotten that morning in the owl post and tugged the paper so it made a loud snapping sound. James groaned - he’d heard this spiel about thirty times already. “I’ve been offered placement in an apparating class.”

Sirius grinned and Remus snatched for the parchment - and though the action was a slow, weakened one, Sirius let him have it easily. “You haven’t -- seriously?” He stared down at it and, sure enough, the Ministry was conducting two sessions of apparating classes at Hogwarts this year - once in the fall and once in the spring - and all students were welcome to attend as long as their seventeenth birthdays were within the school year. Meaning that Sirius Black’s November birthday put him in the Fall term’s classes, while Remus and James would be in the Spring term’s class and poor Peter would have to wait until next year to be taught how to disapparate.

“Merlin’s beard.” Remus looked up. “We’re all doomed.”

James laughed.

“It isn’t fair,” Peter moaned. “We should all wait until all four of us can take the class together!”

“You mean us three wait until you can,” Sirius corrected him.

Peter turned red. “My point is that we should all do it together.”

“Or I can do it this fall and disapparate all around you lame-baby bitches once I turn seventeen!” Sirius beamed.

“We’ll be sure to learn side-along so you’re not stranded, Pete,” said James, shoving Sirius even as he said it.

Pete looked forlorn.

The four of them were sitting around a campfire, deep in the woods. It was the night of the full moon and rather than spending a night in the bomb shelter, Ned Veigler had brought the load of them for an evening at Fallengunder. They’d left Ned in the castle and trooped through the trees together for a camping trip in the forest that surrounded the castle. They were miles and miles into the thick of it, too, having travelled in animagus form, Remus clinging to the stag’s neck while the rat rode, tucked safe and warm in his cardigan pocket. The trees made it dark, though the sun was still up - though she was lowering in the sky above - and they were cooking sausages on sticks over the flames, sitting on thick logs James had pushed over with his antlers before transforming back to human form.

Sirius tucked the letter back into his leather jacket’s pocket and grinned around at them. “I don’t understand how the adults aren’t just apparating everywhere, every chance they get. I’d disapparate to Costa Rica every chance I got if I was them.”

“It’s hard to disapparate far away,” James said. “Dad told me once the further you go, the more twisty it feels and the more likely you are to splinch.”

Peter looked ill. “My dad splinched once. He still doesn’t have the tip of his little finger.” He shivered.

“I’ll be so fucking good at it, I could disapparate clear around the globe and be fine!” Sirius declared boastfully.

Remus smirked, “Sirius, calm down, you’re giving James’s ego a run for it’s galleons.”

James laughed, “I hate side-alonging with my mum. Give me the flying motorcar anyday.”

“Too bad they’re illegal,” said Remus.

“I want my bloody motorbike back. Gideon Prewett still has it. Bet he rides it all over, the bastard.”

“I can picture that actually,” James snickered.

“I’m asking for it back tomorrow when I go to see Dorcas,” Sirius decided and he withdrew his stick from the fire, which he’d propped up with a stick so he could just hold it with his booted foot, and he inspected the sausages, squeezing it to check for doneness and burning his fingers, which he stuck in his mouth.

Remus leaned against his shoulder as Sirius pushed the two sausages he’d been cooking onto a plate and balanced it on his knee between himself and Remus, taking up a fork to cut them into pieces.

James inspected his, then put it back into the fire. He cleared his throat. Then, “So… I snogged Lily Evans the other day.” James grinned, keeping his eyes on the sausage in the fire, his cheeks turning red with excitement. He’d been holding onto this bit of information to tell them at exactly the right moment and it had been killing him, the waiting.

Sirius nearly dropped the plate of sausages, which luckily Remus caught for him. “After she found out about Jasper and everything?” Sirius shook his head, “No way did that scene we witnessed in Diagon Alley turn into snogging. There’s no way.”

Remus’s hand was shaking holding the platter, and Sirius took it back, slipping his arm ‘round Remus’s shoulders. “He’s hallucinating,” Remus suggested with a trembling laugh.

“Yeah, Lily Evans wouldn’t snog you,” Peter said.

“This is actually the second time I’ve snogged her,” James pointed out, “Thank you very much for your vote of confidence, though Pete.”

“I’m with Rey, I think you’re hallucinating this one, Prongs,” Sirius laughed. “She was far too upset at Diagon Alley. I mean, c’mon, you stained her blouse and then she ran off to see her ex.”

“And I was a gentleman, she said.”

“But you said it wasn’t even a date!” Sirius argued.

“We agreed it wasn’t a date, and then agreed that people not on a date could snog if they liked!” James said defensively. Then, he exaggeratedly explained, “See, I snogged her so good the last time that she couldn’t help but beg me for more… practically on her knees, asking me to give her a good snogging. Please Potter, snog my face off, she said.”

Remus looked at Sirius and he said, smirking, “Powerful hallucinations, this one’s having.”

Sirius grinned.

Peter was the first to give in, “What’s it like? Snogging her?”

“Mostly soft and wet and dizzying,” James replied. “Tastes like vanilla.”

“How come nobody ever asks what it’s like snogging Remus or me?” Sirius asked.

Peter said, “Because that’s gross. I don’t wanna know what it’s like.”

“Excuse me?” Sirius looked at Peter, “Are you kidding me right now? Are you being a filthy gay-hater, then?”

Peter shied away, “I don’t mean because -- I just mean - I mean - I mean that I -- my friends -- you’re my friends -- and I -- it’s -- I --I’m not --”

Remus nudged Sirius, who was glaring very hard at Peter as he stammered, his eyebrows furrowed threateningly, “Relax, you’re scaring him.”

“I’ll bloody scare him,” muttered Sirius darkly, but he listened to Remus and sat back.

Peter shivered. “I don’t hate gays, you lot are my friends, I just --”

“Sorry but it sounded a lot like you do,” Sirius said edgily. “Sounded a bit like Evan Rosier, you did…”

“He didn’t mean it like that,” James said firmly, “It was a slip of words… calm down.” Sirius muttered something that sounded like homophobic little rat, but James spoke over it. “Bloody do some yoga or something.”

Sirius sighed and took a deep breath like Dorcas had taught him to do when he felt angry or stressed and he let it out slow and low and closed his eyes, then did it again and he did, indeed, feel better and a bit foolish for his temper. He looked at Pete, then grudgingly, “Sorry.”

Peter still shivered, but he nodded.

Not finished with the prior topic, James quickly brought it back around the moment the tension had broken. “So anyways, Evans and me. Snogging. We snog now.” He looked ‘round at the other three, “If I could ever get her to bloody just go on a date with me, I might actually get somewhere.”

“Get somewhere?” Remus asked. “What do you mean?”

“Like second base?” Sirius smirked.

James kicked him. “I mean like being her boyfriend, being something to Lily Evans besides -- I dunno, whatever the hell I am to her now.”

“An obnoxious git?” Sirius guessed and when James glared, he laughed and speared a bite of sausage on a fork, handing it to Remus and Remus looked ill from it and turned away. “You gotta eat, mate,” pleaded Sirius. “One bite.”

Remus frowned but took the fork.

“I’m telling you lot, I’m gonna marry Evans someday,” James said, and he finally pulled his sausage from the fire, the skin of it all dark and bubbly.

“One step at a time there, mate,” Sirius said, smirking. “Get her on a date first. Get her to not cal lyou toerag first.”

“She says that lovingly.”

“Right.”

“She does.”

“Uh huh.”

James bit into his sausage, grinning, “I’m just telling you guys - one day… one day it’ll happen… I’ll marry her and -- and you’ll see -- you’ll all be fucking amazed.”

“Right,” Sirius said, but he was smirking. “Fucking amazed for sure.”

They went on cooking the sausages and eating, Sirius having to coax Remus into it, until the sun really had gone to bed for the night and the moon had risen… By the time Remus shivered and burst into his wolf form, they’d doused the fire and transformed themselves so that the stag, rat, and dog stood waiting as Remus’s bones cracked and his skin sprouted the rippling layers of fur… the howl shattered the silence of the forest, echoing through the dark trees.




Next morning, Remus woke to find himself in a knot of Marauders. Peter was asleep with his head leaning against Remus’s shoulder, his legs curled up to his belly, nose still twitching like a rat’s… James lay so his legs were arched over Remus’s legs and his head was against Sirius’s left hip, while Sirius lay, his head on Remus’s shoulder… A quick check of his mates for injuries proved unsettling. Sirius, whose shirt was missing, bore deep set of claw scratches across his torso that started around his left rib cage and slashed over his belly and abdomen to end around his right hip. They were no longer bleeding but it was clear that spots of them had - some areas not quite deep enough to bleed, only to mark, but they’d already begun to scab over. James’s forearms bore scratches and bruises, and even Peter had a scratch across his cheek.

“Oh no,” Remus murmured, and he climbed over the log and over to Sirius’s side, shaking his shoulder. “Padfoot… Padfoot wake up… Wake up, I’ve injured you all.”

“Moony,” Sirius murmured. “We’re fine. Go back to sleep.”

“But you’re hurt and --”

“Rey, we’ve already taken care of the cuts,” James mumbled.

“Yes, sleep,” begged Peter, “So tired.”

“Says the rat that didn’t have to fight a bleeding wolf,” muttered Sirius.

Peter said, “Hey, I’m injured, too, alright?”

“Yes from falling into one of the stag’s antlers,” Sirius said with an eyeroll.

Peter was quiet.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Remus said quietly.

“Rey, we’re okay,” James intoned.

Sirius said, “Better than okay… I’m your Alpha again. I got you to say it, so we’re on a good track. Maybe next month we’ll be able to get you back again and we’ll be able to have some fun.” Sirius’s voice was jovial with hope.

Remus relaxed a little. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said. “You’ll see. It’ll be a good moon next month.” And he turned his head and placed a kiss on Remus’s temple and Remus smiled and looked over at him, right into his deep grey eyes and Sirius stared back and watched as Remus’s eyes went from a clouded hazel to a brown…

The other two boys fell asleep again, Peter snoring and snorting as he rolled over onto his side, his head sliding off Remus’s shoulder to the ground and James’s breath came steadier and deeper… Sirius stayed staring at Remus, even as both their eyes grew heavy… and finally they had fallen asleep, fingers twined together.