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Faithfully
Chapter 13
By Dottie
Copyright 2016

Jessi’s POV

Well after a couple of hours at the hospital being thoroughly embarrassed by AJ, I’m released. Instead of flying on to Canada immediately, AJ takes it upon himself to get a couple of rooms at a hotel for the night. Hanna Jo’s idea. She thinks I should get a good night’s sleep before flying again. Maybe she’s right.

Problem is we were spotted at the airport and coming into the hospital by the paparazzi. Thankfully I wasn’t seen…but AJ and Nick were. When it comes time to leave the hospital, AJ had to arrange for rental car with dark windows and a private exit from the parking garage under the hospital for the doctor’s.

It’s no better at the hotel. We’re stuck sitting in the car for almost half an hour while the police are called to disperse the photographers. Nick and AJ keep me covered as we push into the hotel. Once I’m alone in my room, I’m a basket case. Oh of course I told AJ and Nick I’m fine. Things are still REALLY touchy…especially for Nick. He’s a total basket case about it all because of me.

I can’t call Hanna Jo. She’ll blame herself for suggesting we rest. But I need to talk to someone. I call the one person I’ve been depending on for a long time. “Thad, it’s me.”

He sounds tired. “What’s wrong Jessi?”

I play with the hem of my shirt. “Everything.”

His concern makes me want to cry. “What happened? Didn’t you find Nick? Are you still in Canada?”

I close my eyes. “No. Well, we’re going back to Canada. We did find Nick. He…He’s…”

Thad sounds alarmed. “He’s what? What happened?”

I sniffle. “He was living in a rundown shack on the beach in Mexico. He’s…he was broken because of what Donnie did to me.”

Thad gets that fatherly tone in his voice. “Well hell Jessi, he felt guilty. Odds are he still does. I do. I always will. I promised you I’d protect you. Now all I can do is promise you that IF he ever sees the light of day as a free man, he’ll be an old man.”

I hear it in his voice…he knows something. “What is it? What happened?”

After a brief pause he says, “The sentence came down yesterday. Didn’t you hear about it?”

I shake my head. “How? I was in Mexico.”

He chuckles. “Mexico has television too.”

I chew on my lip before asking, “What happened?”

Going all business on me, he says, “Well, you know he confessed to everything. He was trying to plea bargain, but thankfully the judge was a hard-nosed bastard and gave him the max. It will be at least 25 years before they’ll even think about parole. He told Donnie that being a celebrity didn’t give him privileges or rights above any other citizen and his actions were reprehensible. The judge even read your statement and Nick’s in the courtroom.”

I close my eyes, my stomach churning as I remember sharing every little detail of what Donnie did to me. Then I realize what he said. My eyes open wide. “Nick’s statement?”

Thad is quiet for a long time before saying, “Yeah. Nick gave his deposition as soon as he was able to…talk.”

I feel the tears building. “Thad, I want to read his statement. I need to know what they did to him.”

Thad hesitates. “Jessi, before you go delving into that too deeply, I…where do things stand with you and Nick?”

I sniffle again, wiping my nose with my sleeve. “I still love him Thad. I always have, even when every part of me wanted to hate him, he still had my heart. I know we don’t have an easy road ahead of us, but for Haley Jo’s sake, I have to at least try to have some kind of relationship with him…if he’ll let me after everything Donnie did.”

Thad is so quiet, I think he hung up. Finally, he says, “Jessi, I’ll send you a copy of his deposition…but only if Nick agrees to it. I think you and Nick need to see a professional and get everything out. I know you love him and I know you realize he did what he had to do to protect Hanna Jo, AJ and AJ’s mother. But do you REALLY forgive him?”

His question stops me cold. “Thad if anything had happened to Hanna Jo, I’d have hated him until the day I died. If he had told me, I would have lain in that bed and spread my legs for Donnie to keep her safe and he would have gotten away with all of it.” I take a shaky breath. “She’s my family Thad. You know how much she means to me.”

He agrees quickly. “I do know that Jessi. But I also know you’re a victim of rape.” When he says it out loud I want to vomit. “He forced you to have sex. If you make up with Nick, are you going to be able to be intimate with him?”

I fall over on the bed and curl up on my side rubbing my stomach. “I don’t know. I just don’t know.” Haley Jo kicks and I jump. “All I know is I’m having his baby and he saved Hanna Jo’s life.” After a minute I say, “And I love him. What do you think I should do?”

He sighs and says, “See a counselor. Take him back to Australia with you and get back into your counseling sessions with Dr. Nguyen.”

I’m shocked at his suggestions. “Why there? Why can’t I see a counselor in Canada and stay with Hanna Jo?”

Being as blunt as ever, he says, “Because as long as she’s there, you won’t get past feeling grateful he did what he had to do. Jessi, I know he’s a good guy and I know you two loved each other, but you have to face EVERYTHING. You’re not the same woman you were 8 months ago. He’s not the same man. It’s going to take a long time and a lot of intense therapy for you to truly forgive him…and for him to truly forgive himself.”

I know he’s right. “I…I…how did you get to be so smart?”

He laughs. “I married a smart woman who happens to be a psychologist.” After a brief pause, he admits, “Jessi…I’ve been in therapy for the last six months…I can’t forgive myself for the part I played in you getting hurt. No one wants you and Nick to work this out more than me, trust me. But I have to be honest with you…you’re gonna have to hate him and me both a lot more before you can forgive us. And I truly hope that one day you will forgive me for forcing you to do what you did. Goodbye Jessi.”

He hangs up before I can stop him. I can’t stop the tears. I sob for hours. Nick and AJ both knocked on the door and called…but I didn’t answer. I’m sure they think I’m sleeping or one of them would have broken down the door. I can’t face them until I’m under control again. Donnie Wahlberg ruined so many lives. I’ve spent the last six months focusing only on what he did to me.

Poor Thad. I never even thought about what this did to him, but he was only doing his job. I knew that then…I know it now. His hands were tied as much as Nick’s and I don’t hate him either.

But leaving Hanna Jo again? I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if I’m actually strong enough to survive without her again. Suddenly Haley Jo kicks again. I rub my stomach and whisper, “I have to do this, don’t I? I have to face all of it so you can have the life you deserve with me and your Daddy and your Aunt Hanna Jo.”

Thad is right. This is the only way. Nick and I have to do this together…and whether we make it or not, at least Haley Jo will have both her parents in her life. She deserves that. My baby deserves to know her Daddy.





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