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Faithfully
Chapter 5
By Dottie
Copyright 2016

Nick's POV

It's been six months. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about my wife. Ex-wife. No one will ever know how much I love that woman. Or how much I miss her.

When she left the boat that day...the last timeI saw her...there was distrust in her eyes. Anger. And hatred. I never would have thought I'd see that look in Jessi's eyes. But I deserved it then. I still deserve it. I should have warned her in the car. Somehow. But if I had, AJ, Hanna Jo and Denise would have been killed. And she would have hated me for that. It was a no-win situation and now I'm getting exactly what I asked for.

I look around the run down shack I've been living in on the beach of Costa Maya. I had stayed in Cancun for a while, but I was recognized too often. As much as I love the fans and miss them, my celebrity status took away the most important part of my life. My wife.

Once I was physically healed enough to not need regular medical treatments, I moved down here and found this little shack. It's dirty and leaks when it rains, but I don't care. It's better than I deserve at this point.

I go to the kitchen to get another beer. Passing by the mirror, I see I need a shave. I've needed a shave for several weeks. A shower probably wouldn't hurt. Been a few days on that too. But who cares. No one sees me but me...and I don't give a fuck anymore.

After I get my beer, I go into the bedroom. I stretch out on the bed, wincing as pain slices trough my abdomen. Six months and everything still hurts. It's nothing more than I deserve...it's a reminder that I'm right where I should be.

I take a swig of my beer before closing my eyes. I can still see her in her wedding gown. Smiling. We were so happy. For a brief moment, my life was perfect. Then that bastard had to fucking be exactly what Jessi said he was. She warned us all he was sadistic and relentless. We brushed it off, thinking he'd want to back off to protect his career and his family.

I can't help but feel proud when I think of how Jessi is bringing him down. When Thad brought me the annulment papers, he told me Jessi was pressing charges. She made a statement and Donnie was arrested and charged. As far as I know, he's still sitting in jail in Hawaii.

I should call Thad. I gave my statement too. My injuries were documented and he was charged with aggravated assault with intent to kill. Even though he didn't lay a hand on me, he gave the order. I heard it right before they beat me senseless.

I reach for my phone. I keep it charged and ready in case Jessi calls, but I know she won't. Why would she after everything I did to her? I let a man rape her on our wedding night. I tried to stop it. If I could have gotten my hands on him, I'd have strangled the life out of him without blinking.

I turn my phone on. I won't call Thad. He already told me not to ask about Jessi. But I need to call AJ. I think the baby is due any day now. I should make sure everything is ok.

I jump as my phone comes to life and beeps at me. I look at the screen and tears start to roll down my face. I still have pictures of Jessi...my beautiful bride. Every time I see them, my heart breaks just a little bit more. I'll never forgive myself for what I did to her.

My phone buzzes and a text pops up. From AJ. I open it, smiling as I see a picture of his baby. Beneath it, the text reads, "Meet my son, Todd Alexander. Get your ass up here. Or at least call me."

Todd. They named the baby after Jessi. That will make her happy. I hit reply and text back, "Congratulations! But I won't come back. Not now. Maybe not ever." After a minute I add, "Miss you Bro."

It takes less than a minute for my phone to ring. I let it ring six times before I finally connect the call. "Hey man."

AJ's voice booms at me, "Get your ass up here Nick. I mean it. Come home."

I sigh, longing to see my friends. "Don't. AJ I can't come back and you know it. Not after what I did to Jessi."

His voice is quieter. "Then where are you? Todd is fifteen days old and doing well. Our staff can run the B & B for a few days and help Hanna Jo. I want to come and see you're ok."

I never should have answered the call...the desire to see him weakens my resolve to stay away. "I'll never be ok AJ. Just...congratulations on your son. He's a cute little guy."

I start to hang up and he says, "Nick wait." I sit quietly and listen. "Nick, you don't have to come if you're not ready...but I need to know where you are. I promise I'll stay away until you say it's ok. I swear. Just tell me where to find you so I can sleep at night."

It's not fair to worry him...and I know he always keeps his promises. "I'm living on the beach in Costa Maya." Before I disconnect the call, I mutter, "Give Hanna Jo my love...and if you see Jessi..."

I choke on the last words. I shut off the phone and toss it aside. God I love her and I miss her. I want her back. I just want to hold her one more time. I scream out in anguish before falling on the bed. "I'm sorry Jessi. I'm so damn sorry."


Jessi's POV

I wait for AJ to hang up, tears clinging to my lashes. I've been here over two weeks waiting...hoping AJ could find Nick. He looks at me and smiles. "He said he's living on the beach in Costa Maya."

I sigh quietly. "Is he ok?"

His smile fades. "I don't...know."

I bite my lip. "AJ, what should I do?"

He takes my hands as Hanna Jo comes into the room and sits down beside me. She rubs my back. "What do you WANT to do?"

I turn to look at her. "I don't know. I've spent the past six months telling myself I hate him."

She shakes her head. "You do not hate him and you never did. You were angry and hurt but you didn't hate him."

My lip quivers. "I couldn't understand why he would just give me to Donnie like that."

AJ snorts. "He wouldn't have. Nick would have given up everything he had for you and you know it. He...he wanted you to fight and knowing Nick the way I do, I think he was hoping you'd forgive him and understand."

I turn my gaze to his. "I would have...now that I know what happened...that Donnie had you all kidnapped. But...how can we go back to what we had after...Donnie raped me. He...he did despicable things..."

Hanna Jo slides closer to me. "Tell me."

I lower my eyes. AJ pushes away from the table. "I think Todd and I will go for a walk and let you two talk."

After he leaves, Hanna Jo whispers, "Tell me Jessi."

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