Faithfully
Chapter 9
By Dottie
Copyright 2016
Jessi's POV
After the boys left all I'm able to do is sit and cry. I know Nick feels bad about what happened, but he didn't have a choice. And nothing I say is going to make him feel any differently. Yes I know...how can I love him and want him to come back with us when a month ago I hated him...well, after seeing him I realize I just thought I hated him. How could I possibly hate him when I know now that he did what he did to protect Hanna Jo and AJ and Denise?
I take my phone from my purse and lay back on the bed. I call Hanna Jo and when she answers, I whisper hoarsely, "Ho Jo...he won't come back with us."
I can tell she's starting to cry too. "Jessi, why? Did you...tell him about the baby?"
I sniffle loudly. "Yes, he knows. He...I don't know if he really believed me when I told him she's his." I close my eyes. "Hanna Jo, he looks...he's not the same. It's like he's dead on the inside. His eyes are...I'm scared Hanna Jo. He looked so desolate."
Her voice cracks. "Jessi, are you ok?"
I roll up on my side and rub my stomach. "I don't know. When I found out what really happened, I was so relieved. Hanna Jo, seriously, I really couldn't understand why he would basically hand me over to Donnie. Now I know he really didn't have a choice...did he?"
She's adamant when she says, "Nick loves you Jessi. He loves you more than anything. When he told you that lie, he did it to make you fight. If you had known Donnie had us, you would have let him take advantage of you, wouldn't you?"
I can't help but shiver. "Yes...Yes I would have. I'd do anything to protect my family. And you ARE my family Ho Jo." I take a shaky breath. "Hanna Jo, if things hadn't happened this way, Donnie would have gotten away it all."
She sniffles. "I know Jess. I'd give anything if he hadn't hurt you. It makes my heart ache..."
I open my eyes, looking out the window. "Hanna Jo, I survived it. But...do you think I can...do you think Nick and I can ever get past this and..."
She cuts me off. "Yes. Yes, you can because you love him and he loves you."
I struggle to sit up. "Hanna Jo, what if we can't? I mean, all I wanted to do today was wrap my arms around him and hold him. But he didn't even want me to touch him. He wouldn't even look at me."
Her voice is soft. "Jessi, it's not because he doesn't love you. He feels guilty because of what Donnie did to you. He blames himself."
I close my eyes. "I know. But I don't blame him. Not anymore." Swallowing hard, I say, "Hanna Jo, if anything had happened to you I don't think I ever would have forgiven him...you know?"
She's crying with me. "I know. You mean everything to me too. You just have to...Jessi, you have to be patient."
I struggle to stand. "I have to find him Hanna Jo. I have to make him come back with us."
I hear Todd start to cry. She murmurs. "You do that. You and Nick can stay here as long as you need to." The baby starts to cry louder and she says, "I need to get Todd. I love you Jess."
I whisper, "Love you too Ho Jo."
After I disconnect the call, I call AJ. When he answers, I say, "Where's Nick?"
In a tired voice, he says, "I left him in his shack."
My hear sinks. "Shack?"
He mumbles under his breath before he says, "I promised I wouldn't tell you."
I sniffle loudly. "AJ, I want you to take me to him. I'm not leaving Mexico without him."
He chuckles and says, "I'm glad you're as stubborn as Hanna Jo. When do you want to leave?"
I wipe my eyes. "Right now."
When I see where Nick is living, I become even more determined to make him one back with us. As long as he lives here...as long as we aren't together, Donnie is still winning. I look over at AJ. "Book another seat for the flight home."
He gives me a sad smile. "He won't go."
I rub my stomach and say, "Then I won't go either. I'm not leaving him alone." I look back at the shack. "Let me talk to him AJ. Alone."
He puts his hand on my shoulder. "Jessi, he's...he won't let you stay."
I look up at AJ and see the tears swimming in his eyes. I pat his cheek and whisper, "He doesn't have a choice. I won't let Donnie take one more thing away from me."
AJ kisses my forehead. "Jessi, I know it can't be easy, but Wahlberg will be behind bars the rest of his life. As long as you and Nick need us, Hanna Jo and I will be there for you." He hugs me tightly and I can hear the raw emotion in his voice. "Nick loves you but he's ashamed. And he's hurting. I hope you can make him come back."
I push away from him and wipe my eyes. "I will."
When I get to the door of the shack, I turn the knob and push it open. I know if I knock he'll never let me in. I peek around the door cautiously but I don't see him. I step into the shack with a sinking heart. Donnie did this to him. He reduced the sweetest, most noble man I've ever known into a broken shell of a man. He made Nick choose between the people he loved most. And I know Nick loved me enough...he knew me well enough to know I could survive whatever Donnie dished out...but I couldn't live without him and Hanna Jo.
I close the door and glance around the room. It's a shambles. I can't even count the number of beer bottles and tequila bottles I see lying around. I'm sure if I could have seen Nick's face under that shaggy beard, he's probably bloated from the alcohol.
I tiptoe through the room and down a short hallway. I peek inside the first door I come too and my stomach heaves. It's a bathroom that's seen better days. I keep moving to the end of the hallway and slowly push open the bedroom door. Nick is sitting on a disgusting looking bed with a bottle of tequila in one hand and his phone in the other.
I push the door open all the way and gingerly step inside. He looks up at me and a look of anger and self-loathing lights his face. "I told AJ not to bring you here."
I move closer to him and sit down by his legs. When he looks away from me I take the tequila bottle from his hand and toss it away. "He didn't have a choice. I'm not leaving here without you and I damn sure don't want my daughter born here. So get off your ass and let's go back to Canada with AJ."
His eyes come back to meet mine. "Daughter? A...you're having a girl?"
I nod, hopeful he will listen to me. "WE are having a daughter Nick."
He shakes his head. "I still don't...AJ had to be wrong. I know I had that surgery..."
I grab his hand and I hold on tight when he tries to pull away. "Nick, even if you had the surgery it didn't work. I had the DNA test done...this is NOT Donnie's baby and since I met you there hasn't been anyone else." When he doesn't say anything, my heart sinks. "You don't believe me? You think..."
I close my eyes, letting my head fall and the tears start to flow. He whispers hoarsely. "Jessi, don't. I know there was no one. I just...how can I be a good father when I let him..."
I look up at him, taking a chance and sliding closer to him. "Nick, you didn't LET him do anything. I didn't LET him do anything. And because of what he did, he's going to spend the rest of his life rotting in a prison where he belongs." He doesn't say anything and I whisper, "Nick, I don't want him to take you away from me too. Not when I know...Nick you didn't have a choice. He made you choose...and you made the right choice. If...if I had known he had Hanna Jo and AJ and Denise I would have LET him...and there wouldn't a damn thing I could do about it. And you would have hated me for giving in and I would have lost you."
He closes his eyes and tears slip down his cheeks. "I would never hate you Jessi."
I bring myself close enough to wipe away the tears on his face. He opens his eyes and I whisper, "Come back with me Nick. Don't...please don't let him win like this. If I lose you..."
He stares into my eyes. I can see he's struggling to hold in his emotions. "Jessi...why? After what I did...I lied to you. He hurt you...why do you want me to come back?"
I lean closer, brushing his nose with mine, trying to ignore the smell of alcohol on his breath. "I love you Nick. I've always loved you." I feel his body tremble. "Nick, I don't know what's going to happen...but now that I know the truth, I want...I need you to be there. Especially when our daughter is born."
He pulls away and looks down at my stomach. "How can you be sure?"
I rub my belly and whisper, "Nick, Thad did a DNA test against the samples they took from Donnie. There's not a chance in hell this is his child. She has to be yours. You're the only one..."
He looks up and meets my eyes. "Jessi I'm so sorry."
I touch his face softly. "I know Nick...I am too."
He looks away. "Why are you sorry?"
I push away from him and struggle to stand. I walk to the window and say, "I lost faith in you. I should have known there was more involved than just money." I close my eyes and whisper, "I've missed you so much Nick."
I hear him moving around. I turn to see him standing. He won't look at me, but he manages to murmur, "I missed you too."
I walk over closer to him. He pulls away and I stop. "Will you come back with us?
He nods slowly. "Yeah...I guess I can try." He glances at me and says, "You really forgive me?"
I move closer to him. "Yes. I do."
Chapter End Notes:
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