Looking across at the other side of the room, he saw that the curtain separating his bed from Brian’s had been closed, and his heart skipped a beat. “Brian?” he called, his voice rising to a higher pitch than he had intended.
“Nick?” Dani’s head suddenly poked out from behind the curtain. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were awake,” she said. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, but is Brian alright?” he replied, feeling his heart beat faster.
Dani smiled. “Relax. He’s fine. You were sleeping so deeply, I decided to do his bath first today. I’ll be finished in a few, and then it’ll be your turn.”
Nick sighed with relief. “No hurry. I was just worried something had happened to him while I was asleep.”
“Nah, it’s all good. Go back to sleep if you want.”
But Nick couldn’t fall back to sleep now that he was wide awake. He felt better than he had the day before and wished he could get out of bed and walk around for a bit. He would have loved to stretch his legs, go outside, get some fresh air and some much-needed exercise. But he didn’t dare do anything that might bring about another electrical storm inside his chest, so instead, he stayed flat on his back in bed, listening to the beep of his heart monitor and the faint slosh of water as Dani went back to bathing Brian.
When she was finished, she came around to Nick’s side and helped him get washed up as well. After she had given him a clean hospital gown to change into, she finally pulled back the privacy curtain so he could see across the room.
“Morning, Brian!” Nick called with forced cheerfulness, watching Brian’s face hopefully as he waited for some sign that his friend had heard him. But Brian’s eyes remained shut, his expression blank, his body still but for the mechanical rise and fall of his chest. Disappointed, Nick turned back to Dani. “How’s he doing today?”
“He’s stable,” she assured him.
Nick nodded, knowing this meant Brian was no better than he had been the night before - but at least he wasn’t any worse. “How about you?” he asked. “How are you doing?”
She smiled. “I’m here,” she said with a shrug, holding her arms out at her sides. “I’m alive. I’m healthy. I guess that means I’m doing pretty darn well, all things considered.”
“Compared to the two of us, you mean,” Nick added with a smirk, jerking his head towards Brian’s bed.
Dani’s brown eyes widened. “No, I didn’t mean it that way!” she exclaimed, laughing. “Well, maybe I did a little, but mostly I was thinking about the hurricane. We’re all lucky to be alive, aren’t we? I can’t complain.”
“Well, I can. This sucks,” said Nick in a deadpan tone.
Dani cracked another smile. “You know what? You’re right. This really sucks,” she replied, sitting down on the edge of his bed. “But hey, look on the bright side: at least you’re stranded with a beautiful blonde.” She struck a pose, folding her hands beneath her chin as she beamed at him.
“Yeah…” Nick let out a wistful sigh as he looked past her to the bed where Brian lay. “He looks just like Sleeping Beauty.”
Dani burst out laughing. “He does, doesn’t he? If only true love’s kiss would wake him up…”
“Hey, I’d full-on make out with him if I thought it would help,” said Nick with a shrug, not even kidding.
She smirked. “I’d love to see that.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “I bet you would. You’re a naughty nurse, aren’t you?”
“You have no idea.” She winked. “I’ll be right back.”
Nick’s heartbeat accelerated again as he watched her walk out of the room, admiring the view from behind. Stop flirting with her, he scolded himself while he waited for her to return. What would your wife think? And what about her husband?
Dani’s husband happened to be with her when she came back into the room, carrying a covered tray. “Good morning, Nick,” Rob greeted him with a wave before he went over to Brian’s side of the room to begin his rounds.
“Breakfast is served,” Dani said as she set the tray down on Nick’s bedside table. Nick took off the cover to find a bowl of oatmeal and a banana. He couldn’t help but smile and think of his son as he cut up the banana with his spoon and arranged the slices on top of the oatmeal. Oatmeal with fruit was one of Odin’s favorite breakfast foods. Nick wished he was hungrier, but he only took a few bites before he felt full.
While he was picking at his breakfast, Rob had begun to examine Brian. Nick watched the doctor poke and prod different parts of Brian’s body, trying to trigger some type of reaction, but just as before, Brian remained totally unresponsive.
“He’s not getting any better, is he?”
Rob glanced back at Nick, his stethoscope halfway to his ears. He hesitated, then shook his head. “Not that I can tell. His vitals are stable, but he’s still not responding to commands or painful stimuli.”
Nick’s heart sank with disappointment. “When do you think he’ll start doing that?”
“Honestly, I hoped he would have started to show some signs of improvement by now,” said Rob with a grimace. “Comas can last indefinitely, but the longer he stays like this, the lower his chances of making a meaningful recovery. If his Glasgow score doesn’t start going up soon, we may have some hard decisions to make.” Rob gave Nick a significant look, and Nick realized he was talking about taking Brian off life support. His breath caught in his throat as his chest tightened painfully.
“I’m not pulling the plug on my best friend,” he said, shaking his head. “You don’t know Brian like I do. He’s a fighter. He’ll pull through. He always does.”
Rob nodded. “I really hope you’re right, man.” He slipped his stethoscope into his ears as he turned his attention back to Brian, bending over to listen to his chest. “One thing we need to be thinking about is the best way to support his breathing,” he said when he was finished, slinging the stethoscope around his neck. “Brian’s been intubated for four days now and hasn’t given us any indication that he can breathe on his own, so it doesn’t look like we’ll be able to start weaning him off the ventilator any time soon. But the longer we leave the breathing tube in, the higher the risk of complications: he could develop a serious infection or sustain damage to his vocal cords.”
Nick’s eyes widened, his heart lodging in this throat. “Please, do whatever you need to do to protect his vocal cords,” he pleaded. “He’s had to overcome a lot to get his voice back.” He thought about how devastated Brian would be if he woke up from his coma without a voice. After how hard he had worked just to be able to sing again despite his dysphonia, another setback would destroy him.
Rob nodded. “I know. We’ve been using a smaller endotracheal tube than we typically use in adult men to try to minimize the possible damage, knowing he’s a professional singer. But it’s looking more and more like Brian’s going to need prolonged mechanical ventilation, and in that case, his best option is a tracheostomy.”
Rob paused while Nick struggled to process what he was saying. It took a few seconds for him to make sense of it, but suddenly, a picture of the actor Christopher Reeve popped into his head, and he understood. “Isn’t that when you cut a hole in his throat?” he asked, hoping he was wrong. He didn’t want to imagine Brian that way, strapped into a wheelchair with a tube hanging out of his neck.
Rob nodded again, confirming Nick’s suspicion. “We create a small opening in his trachea, called a stoma, and insert a tracheostomy tube that we can connect to the ventilator.” Seeing the look on Nick’s face, he smiled and added, “It sounds extreme, but it’s actually a pretty simple surgical procedure.”
Nick wasn’t normally squeamish, but the mere description made him cringe. “Won’t that cause even more damage to his vocal cords?” he wanted to know.
“No, because the tube will be placed below his voice box,” Rob explained, touching the base of his own throat. “That’s one of the benefits of a trach over the type of breathing tube he has now. If he turns out to need it long-term, he can learn to talk, even sing with it in.”
That’s if he wakes up, thought Nick, swallowing hard. He immediately felt ashamed of himself, knowing he shouldn’t think that way. Brian needed prayers and positive vibes, not negativity. He had to hope for the best. “Would you take the tube out once Brian’s able to breathe on his own again?” he asked.
“Of course,” said Rob. “It doesn’t take long at all to heal. The hole usually closes by itself within a couple of weeks, and he would be left with nothing but a small battle scar on his neck.”
That made Nick feel slightly better, but he was still unsure. What would Brian want? he wondered, absently rubbing his adam’s apple. When Brian woke up, he would want to be able to speak... and sing… and do his silly impressions. Even if he was never able to walk or dance again, as long as he could still use his voice to express himself and to entertain others, he would be okay. Nick felt confident about that much. Clearing his throat, he said, “If this is the best way to save his voice, then do it.”
Rob gave a short nod. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re making the right decision,” he replied, flashing Nick a reassuring smile. “I’m gonna go get prepped for the procedure.”
Once he had left, Nick looked at Dani. “Do you think it’s the right decision?” he asked her.
She nodded. “I do. Rob’s right: a tracheostomy may not be pretty, but it really is the best way to help Brian breathe without risking the complications associated with a prolonged intubation.”
Nick sighed. “I just wish he would wake up. I hate seeing him like this.”
“I know,” Dani sympathized. “But until he does, we’ll give him what he needs to get better.” She patted his shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”
A lump rose in Nick’s throat as he watched her leave again. She and Rob both sounded so sure of themselves, a far cry from what he was feeling at that moment. He hoped they were right. Brian was counting on him, and Nick didn’t want to let him down.
“Please forgive me, Frick,” he whispered, swallowing hard as he looked over at Brian. “When you wake up with a fucking tube sticking out your neck, know that I had your best interests at heart, okay? I just want you to get better. I need you to get better. Please…” He trailed off, feeling stupid for talking so long to someone who most likely wasn’t listening. He didn’t know if Brian could even hear him, let alone comprehend his words.
Unbeknownst to Nick, however, Brian had heard everything.
***
