Dr. Oussoren looked up at him in surprise. “I’m sorry - was that too cold?” She removed the stethoscope and rubbed the round, metal disc against her palm to warm it before she placed it back on his body. “Better?” she asked.
Feeling embarrassed by his overreaction, Brian forced himself to nod. But his skin crawled as she slid the stethoscope across his bare chest.
“Deep breath in, please,” the doctor instructed. Brian did his best to inhale through the trach tube and hold his breath until she told him to release it. “In… and out,” she repeated each time she repositioned the stethoscope, listening to both sides of his chest and back. When she was finished, she replaced the stethoscope around her neck and said, “Your heart rate’s a little high, and your lungs sound congested, Mr. Littrell. Have you been sick lately?”
Brian shook his head. Besides the pain in his penis from pulling out the catheter, he felt fine - from a physical standpoint, at least. Emotionally, he was much more fragile. It was taking every ounce of strength he could muster just to hold himself together; he didn’t want to break down in front of Leighanne and Baylee, who were both hovering in the background.
“His temp’s normal, 98.3,” said the nurse who had taken both his temperature and blood pressure. “But his B.P. is elevated, 140 over 90.”
“Thanks, Nancy. Let’s put him on a monitor so we can keep an eye on his vitals.” As the nurse bustled around Brian’s bed, attaching electrodes to his chest, Dr. Oussoren turned to Leighanne. “Mrs. Littrell, has your husband ever been diagnosed with hypertension - high blood pressure?”
Leighanne shook her head, looking pale. “No, never! Brian has a very healthy lifestyle.”
Dr. Oussoren offered her a reassuring smile. “It could just be white coat syndrome - anxiety around doctors. He does seem a little jumpy,” she acknowledged. “We’ll get a repeat B.P. in a bit and see if it’s gone down.”
“Poor baby!” Leighanne exclaimed, jutting out her bottom lip as she approached Brian’s bed. She picked up his hand and held it tightly in hers. “You’re safe now, baby. No need to be nervous.”
If you only knew what I’ve been through, thought Brian, but he nodded, not sure he wanted her to know anyway. Living through it the first time had been bad enough, but reliving it in front of his wife? No way. Leighanne and Baylee would be better off not knowing.
“When will you take that thing out so he can talk?” Leighanne asked anxiously, looking at the trach tube with aversion. For the first time since the painful procedure to insert it, Brian felt self-conscious.
“Not until we know he can breathe normally without it,” Dr. Oussoren replied, taking a pen light out of the pocket of her lab coat. “I’m ordering a chest X-ray so we can take a look at his lungs, and then I’ll have a respiratory therapist come down here to evaluate him.”
Leighanne frowned, clearly unsatisfied with this answer. “I can tell you now, he doesn’t need a trach! He’s never had trouble breathing. This had to have been done to torture him. Right, Husband?” She looked at Brian, who nodded again, surprised by his wife’s insight. Maybe she knew more than he had realized. “See?” said Leighanne, raising her eyebrows. “I want it removed right now.”
Go, babe! thought Brian, flashing her a grateful smile. Leighanne could be a bulldog when she wanted something, and she was used to getting her way.
Dr. Oussoren shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do anything until I’ve consulted with someone from respiratory. I’ll call as soon as I’ve finished examining your husband.” She leaned in and shined her light into his eyes, reminding him again of Rob and Elizabeth.
Leighanne heaved a heavy sigh, glaring at the doctor behind her back as she was bent over Brian. He gave her hand a squeeze, as if to say, It’s all right, baby.
“You have a pretty nasty scalp laceration here,” said Dr. Oussoren, turning her attention to the cut on his head. “That had to hurt. Any dizziness? Blurred or double vision?”
Brian shook his head slowly. It was still throbbing, but the dizziness had subsided.
“Well, I don’t think it will need stitches - a few steri-strips should do the trick,” the doctor decided as she examined the wound. “I’m going to send you for a CT scan, just in case. It looks like you hit your head pretty hard.”
He nodded, the pain of being tackled by a two-hundred-fifty-pound man still fresh in his mind.
“I wish he could tell us what happened to him,” said Leighanne, her eyes welling with tears. “We’ve been so worried, wondering where he was these last few weeks…”
Hearing that broke Brian’s heart. Of course, he had known his wife would be worried sick about him, but seeing her tears really brought it home. Even though he knew it wasn’t his fault, he felt guilty for what Leighanne and Baylee had gone through while he was being held captive in a hospital bed.
“I’ve got an idea, Mom,” Baylee interjected, holding up his phone. “I downloaded a text-to-speech app. Dad can type into it, and it’ll talk for him.”
Leighanne brightened. “Aww, Bay, that’s a great idea!” she gushed, as he gave her the phone. “Here, babe… give it a try.” She handed it to Brian, who typed the first thing that popped into his head:
“I love you both.”
A high-pitched, female voice read his words out loud, and Leighanne and Baylee both laughed because it didn’t sound anything like Brian, except for when he was making fun of how Nick had talked on the day they’d first met, before puberty happened.
Nick.
While Leighanne was wiping away fresh tears, trilling about how much she loved Brian, too, he started typing again, his fingers fumbling clumsily over the keypad. “Have you seen Nick? How is he?” the phone asked for him.
The light faded from Leighanne’s eyes. “We only saw him for a few minutes before they took him into surgery. I’m not gonna lie to you, babe - he looked pretty bad.”
Brian’s eyes widened, as his heart dropped. Surgery?? He wondered what Nick would need surgery for. What else had Dani done to him?
Reading his bewildered expression, Leighanne explained, “They found something implanted inside his chest - sort of like a pacemaker? It had gotten infected, so they’re going to take it out.”
Good, thought Brian with grim satisfaction. “Is he still in surgery?” he typed.
Leighanne nodded, but said nothing else. Brian got the impression she knew more than she was telling him, but before he could ask any other questions, Dr. Oussoren interrupted the conversation with another question of her own. “Do you have pain anywhere else, Mr. Littrell?” she asked, as she finished cleaning and dressing the cut near his temple.
He started to shake his head, then hesitated, remembering his discomfort down below. He didn’t want his wife and son to hear all the gory details, so he typed into Baylee’s phone, “Why don’t you guys go grab some food while the doctor finishes up?”
Baylee and Leighanne exchanged glances. Brian hoped his wife, at least, would get the message without him having to spell it out for her. Thankfully, after a moment’s hesitation, she replied, “Sure, babe. Bay was actually about to get breakfast before they brought you in.” She turned to their son, ruffling his curly hair. “Let’s see if the guys and Lauren want anything and give your dad some privacy, okay?”
Brian was glad to hear Lauren was there. Nick would be so happy to see her when he came out of surgery. “See you soon,” he typed to Leighanne and Baylee. “Love you.”
“Love you too, Dad,” said Baylee, hugging him gingerly. “Want us to bring you back anything?”
Solid food - even hospital food - sounded amazing to Brian, but before he could answer, Dr. Oussoren shook her head. “He shouldn’t eat anything until we’re done here. We may need to run some tests.”
Brian made a face behind her back, which made Baylee smile. Sorry, he mouthed, shrugging at Brian.
“Come on, Bay,” said Leighanne, putting her arm around him and steering him out the door. She blew a kiss back to Brian before she left, closing the door behind her.
Once they were gone, Brian did his best to explain his problem in as few words as possible. The doctor winced when she heard that he had pulled out his own catheter. Brian winced when she pulled up his gown to take a look. Besides the pain, he was reminded of the way Elizabeth had assaulted him, and he felt ashamed. But Dr. Oussoren was professional and exceedingly gentle. After she had finished examining him, she said, “There’s some minor bleeding from your urethra, but I don’t think you did any serious damage. Just to be on the safe side, I’d like to collect a urine sample and consult with a urologist, who can determine if we need to do any more tests.”
Brian nodded, telling himself anything was better than being trapped in that hospital bed another minute. Whatever damage he had done and the discomfort it had caused were worth his freedom any day.
Dr. Oussoren drew some blood and had him pee into a cup. It burned, but it beat using a catheter bag - at least he could control his bladder again. “I’m going to take these samples to the lab, order some tests, and call for those consultations,” said Dr. Oussoren. “I’ll be back to check on you later. In the meantime, Nancy here is going to start an IV to give you some fluids. If you need anything, let her know.”
Brian nodded again. After the doctor had left, he held out his left arm to show the nurse the IV catheter that was still embedded in it. “Do you have to stick me again, or can you just use this?” he asked her.
Nancy inspected the IV site. “It doesn’t look like it’s infiltrated or infected, so I don’t see why not,” she said. “Whoever put it in did a good job.” She gave him a curious glance, and he could tell she was hoping he would start spilling his guts about what he had gone through. But Brian knew better - he wasn’t going to give her something else to gossip about at the nurses station. What had happened to Nick and him was going to be a huge story when it got out, but he needed to tell his family and friends before he talked to anyone else. He didn’t want them finding out the details on social media or TV; they deserved to hear it from him first. Trying to avoid having to answer any more awkward questions on the text-to-speech app, he lay back and closed his eyes as the nurse connected a length of tubing to the catheter and hung a fresh bag of fluid from his IV pole. She seemed to get the point.
Just as Nancy finished with the IV, there was a knock on the door. Brian opened his eyes, expecting to see Dr. Oussoren or one of the specialists she had called down to examine him. Instead, Kevin poked his head around the door. “You decent, cuz?”
Unexpected tears prickled in the corners of Brian’s eyes at the sight of his cousin. “C’mon in!” he tried to call back before he remembered he couldn’t speak. He beckoned to him instead, and in came Kevin, followed closely behind by Howie and AJ. Brian’s tears overflowed as they gathered around his bed.
“Damn, it’s good to see you, Rok!” AJ exclaimed, gripping his hand tightly.
Howie went in for a warm but gentle hug, obviously worried about hurting him. “We missed you, man. How are you doing?” It was a sign of how serious the situation was that he passed on the opportunity to say “Howie doing?” instead.
Brian typed into Baylee’s phone, “Can’t talk with this thing in my throat, but I’m ok... Happy to see y’all too.”
The guys exchanged glances. Brian could tell they were uncomfortable, wondering what to say to him. Kevin was the first to gather up the courage to ask, “What the hell happened to you and Nick?”
Brian held up his index finger, as if to say, “Wait one minute. This may take me a while.” Then he began typing frantically on Baylee’s phone, which recounted the harrowing experience for him. “We were held captive in a funeral home set up like a hospital by people who pretended to be doctors and nurses. They made Nick think he needed a heart transplant. They put a defibrillator in his chest and gave him drugs to mess with his heart so it would shock him.”
Hearing the abuse Nick had endured narrated by a perky, high-pitched voice didn’t make it sound any less horrifying. Kevin, Howie, and AJ all looked appalled.
Brian continued, “They told him I was in a coma after a car crash, that I had brain damage and a spinal cord injury. They gave me drugs to completely paralyze me so I couldn’t move… couldn’t open my eyes… couldn’t breathe. That’s why they did this to me.” As the phone talked, he pointed to his trach.
“Jesus,” hissed AJ, shaking his head in disbelief.
“I don’t even know what to say,” admitted Howie, his brown eyes wide. “I’m so sorry this happened to you, Brian. I wish I had gotten here sooner. We could have met at the airport, and maybe then-”
“Don’t you dare blame yourself,” Brian typed adamantly, forcing the phone to interrupt him. “If you had been with me, they may have gotten both of us.” He gave Howie a fierce look, hoping to assuage his guilt. “I’m gonna be fine. Have you heard anything on Nick?”
The other guys exchanged glances again, and Brian saw with a sinking feeling that the expressions on each of their faces were equally grim. “He’s out of surgery,” said Kevin, “but not out of the woods yet. They’re flying him to Miami for more intensive treatment.”
“What do you mean?” Brian frowned, still not fully understanding what Nick needed treatment for. Now that he was finally away from Dani and Elizabeth and the torture device they’d implanted him with removed, he should be on the road to recovery. There was nothing really wrong with his heart, was there?
“He has a serious infection in one of his heart valves from the ICD,” Kevin explained, fixing Brian with a significant stare. “The doctor called it endocarditis.”
Brian’s heart skipped a beat. “That’s what I had… when I was 5,” he wrote with fingers that suddenly felt numb.
Kevin nodded, now blinking back tears. “I know. But you got better. So will Nick.”
His cousin spoke with such conviction that Brian felt compelled to believe him. But he couldn’t forget how close he had come to dying from the same condition. According to his mother, the doctors had all but given up on him, telling his parents to start making funeral arrangements, when the hand of God had reached down and touched him. Only then had his heart started to heal. “It took a miracle to make me better,” he typed, the words blurring before his eyes as they filled with tears.
When he looked up, he found Kevin staring back at him, a glint of steely determination in his green eyes. “Then we’d better start praying hard,” he replied, reaching his hands out to the others. Without hesitation, Howie and AJ each took one. A lump rose in Brian’s throat as he put down the phone and joined hands with them, completing the small prayer circle around his hospital bed. They bowed their heads, just like they did each night before they stepped onstage. But this time, they weren’t just a band of singers praying for a safe and successful show. They were a band of brothers praying for the life of one of their own.
Whether this ritual would be enough to save Nick or not remained to be seen, but it seemed to have a positive effect on Brian. The next time Nancy checked his blood pressure, it had gone back down to normal.
***
“You think Rok’s gonna be okay?” asked AJ, as he, Howie, and Kevin sat at a small table in the corner of the cafeteria, sipping coffee and picking at plates of rubbery scrambled eggs and bacon. They had come to find Brian’s family while he was having X-rays taken, but Leighanne and Baylee had since finished their breakfast and gone back to Brian’s room to wait for him to return.
Howie nodded. After talking to Brian, he felt better about their bandmate’s state of mind than he had before. Brian had been tortured and traumatized, but he was not broken. “Brian’s tough,” he told AJ. “It may take a little while, but like he said… he’s gonna be fine. His faith and family will help him get through this.”
“I hope so,” said AJ, still looking uncertain. “I mean, he seemed okay, considering what he went through, but I can’t help but think maybe it hasn’t fully hit him yet - you know what I mean? He’s obviously happy to be free and back with his family, but how’s it gonna be when he goes home?”
“Yeah, it could get worse before it gets better - but whatever happens, we’ll just have to be there to love and support him through it,” said Kevin in his calm, rational way. “I think Howie’s right, though - Brian’ll be okay. Truth be told, I’m a lot more worried about Nick at the moment.”
Howie swallowed hard as his thoughts turned back to their youngest brother. They had heard nothing from Lauren since she had gone to see Nick in recovery, which he took to be a good sign, a sign that Nick was stable for now. Still, he wondered when the team Dr. Webber had mentioned would arrive to transfer him to the mainland. “What are we gonna do when they take Nick to Miami?” he asked the other two. “I know Lauren will want to go with him, but are we gonna go there, too, or stay here with Brian?”
“I think you guys should go with Nick,” replied Kevin right away. Howie could tell he had already thought this through. “Lauren’s gonna need some support. I’ll stick around for Leighanne and Baylee until Brian’s ready to be released, and then we’ll meet the rest of you in Miami.”
“Sounds like a plan,” said AJ, nodding in agreement as he glanced at Howie.
Before Howie could say anything, his phone began to buzz on the table top. Looking down, he saw Lauren’s name flashing on the screen, and his stomach clenched. “Hey,” he answered the call.
“Hey,” Lauren replied. “They’re getting ready to move Nick now. Where are you guys?”
“We’re in the cafeteria, but we can come find you,” said Howie, giving the other guys a look. AJ and Kevin were already cleaning up the table, collecting all their trash onto one tray. Lauren told Howie where to go, and they hurried off to meet her.
As they were heading back to the emergency room, Howie heard a voice call his name. He turned to see Lauren waving at him through a large group of people pushing a gurney up a long corridor. “Can you please stop up here and give us a minute?” he heard her asking as they approached. “Those are my husband’s brothers. They’ll want to see him before we go.”
“Fine, but just for a minute,” replied a man near the foot of the gurney. The back of his navy blue jumpsuit said Flight Nurse. It wasn’t until he stepped aside that Howie got his first glimpse at Nick. His heart flip-flopped painfully in his chest as he looked down at his little brother.
Nick had been strapped tightly to the narrow stretcher, his body covered by a blanket. Howie could see a tangle of tubes coming out from under the blanket, connected to various pieces of equipment that were being carried or pushed by the other medical personnel who had accompanied him. The sight of dark red blood flowing through the thick tubing made him feel woozy, so he tried to focus on Nick’s face instead and ignore the rest. “Hey, Nicky,” he said hoarsely, a lump in his throat. Nick was unconscious, but Howie knew he might still be able to hear him. Howie cleared his throat and continued, “We love you, bro. Hang in there, okay?”
AJ and Kevin echoed the same sentiments before the flight nurse said, “Sorry to rush your goodbyes, but we really need to get going. The helicopter's already running outside. We’ve got room for one person to ride with him, if you want.”
They all looked at each other, caught off-guard. “You go, Lauren,” said AJ. “Kev’s gonna stay here with Brian, but D and I will run back to the condo, pack our bags, and then hit the road. We’ll meet you in Miami, okay?”
Lauren nodded. Her face looked pinched and pale, but she managed an appreciative smile. “Thanks,” she said. “I’ll see you guys soon.” Turning to Kevin, she added, “Tell Brian I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk to him.”
“He’ll understand,” Kevin assured her. “He knows you’re with Nick.”
Howie gave her a hug. “Take good care of him until we get there,” he told her. “Let us know if you need anything.”
“He’s all I need right now,” she replied huskily, holding Nick’s hand through the stretcher’s side rail.
Howie, AJ, and Kevin followed the procession as they pushed Nick down the hall to a pair of double doors, which opened to the emergency parking lot outside. Off to one side of the lot, Howie could see a paved helipad, where a helicopter was waiting.
“You’ll have to stay here,” the flight nurse warned him and the others. “It’s personnel only past this point.”
They stood and watched through the glass as Nick’s gurney was wheeled across the pavement and carefully loaded into the aircraft. Keeping her head low, Lauren climbed in after him, and the door was quickly closed. Howie could see her face looking out the small window.
Another lump lodged in his throat as the helicopter gradually lifted off the ground, hovering in mid-air for a few seconds before it began moving forward. When it finally vanished from his view, he swallowed hard. He couldn’t help but fear he had just seen Nick alive for the last time.
***
