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When he and Lauren finally boarded the plane that would take them back to Las Vegas, Nick had never been so happy to leave Florida. He hoped he would be able to leave behind the bad memories of what had happened to him there, but he feared his nightmares would follow him home.

Nick normally preferred the aisle seat so he could stretch out his long legs, but this time, he sat next to the window and spent the whole flight staring out it. As the plane gradually ascended into the air, he watched the sparkling water of the Atlantic give way to an endless sea of fluffy white clouds. The blue sky above had never been more beautiful, nor had the sun ever seemed so bright. Other passengers pulled down their window shades to block its harsh rays, but Nick kept his all the way up, savoring the warmth on his skin. After spending the past two months inside, he was looking forward to lying out by his pool and absorbing as much sunlight as he possibly could. He needed to get some color back into his pasty complexion. Perhaps a tan would improve the appearance of the ugly red scar running down the center of his chest.

When the plane landed, it was Lauren who pulled their carry-on bags out of the overhead luggage compartment, for Nick was not allowed to lift anything heavier than ten pounds for another nine weeks, until his breastbone was fully healed. He felt worthless walking alongside his wife through the airport, as she handled both of their bags by herself.

“Now you know you’re not supposed to pick up Odin,” she reminded him before they approached the baggage claim area, where she had arranged for her father to meet them. “Don’t you dare let him con you into doing it anyway. I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

“I won’t,” Nick grudgingly agreed. As much as it killed him not to be able to hold his son, he knew she was right. Three weeks after surgery, his chest was still tender. He didn’t want to do anything that would worsen the pain or slow the healing process. But when he saw Odin standing next to Lauren’s dad, Larry, it took all of Nick’s willpower not to run right over and scoop him up.

“Daddy!” he heard Odin shout. Smiling, Nick knelt down and let his son run to him instead.

Next to him, he heard Lauren draw in a sharp breath as Odin came hurtling toward him. “Careful with Daddy now,” she warned. “Be gentle.” But Nick wasn’t worried. He pulled Odin into his open arms, crushing him against his chest. The pure joy of hugging his child put a damper on his pain.

“Daddy missed you so much,” he murmured as he rubbed Odin’s back and kissed the top of his blond head, breathing in the scent of him. He had never been away from his little boy for so long, and the realization of how close he had come to never seeing him again brought tears to Nick’s eyes. “I love you, Odin.”

“Love you, Daddy,” echoed Odin as he clung to him, his head on Nick’s shoulder. They stayed that way for a long time, until Odin finally let go and went to hug Lauren.

Larry reached out a hand to Nick as he stood up with difficulty. “How you doing, son?” he asked, clapping him lightly on the shoulder.

Nick smiled as he wiped away tears. In spite of his discomfort, he had never felt happier to be home with his family. “I’m doing just fine now,” he replied.

“Good,” said his father-in-law, his lined face splitting into a wide grin. “We’re sure glad to have you back.”

Nick nodded. “Thanks. I’m sure glad to be back.”

Larry helped Lauren with the luggage, while Nick held Odin’s hand the whole way out to the car. He rode back to the house with his cough pillow wedged between his chest and the seat belt to keep it from being too tight. “You don’t have to take it this slow, you know,” he told Lauren, who was driving like a little old lady in the right lane as other cars raced around her.

“Yes I do,” she replied, reaching for his hand across the center console. “I’m carrying precious cargo.”

A lump rose in Nick’s throat. “Don’t worry,” he assured her. “I won’t break.”

As they took a cautious left turn and passed through the gates of their community, Lauren patted the back of his hand. “I know.”

When they pulled into the driveway, Nick smiled at the familiar sight of the house he and Lauren had lived in for the last three years. “There’s no place like home,” he sighed, as Lauren parked the car.

She and Larry unloaded their luggage while Nick went inside with Odin. He was surprised to find a fully-decorated Christmas tree set up in the living room with a few wrapped gifts already sitting underneath it. “Did you and Grandpa do all this?” he asked his son.

Grinning, Odin nodded.

“Wow… good job, buddy. It’s beautiful!” Nick exclaimed. The tree made it feel more festive inside the house, but he still had a hard time accepting that it was actually Christmas Eve.

It didn’t really hit him until later that evening, after he’d sung several rounds of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and read “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” to Odin as he tucked him into bed.

Once Odin was asleep, Nick crept back out to the kitchen, where his wife was busy cleaning up the mess they had made decorating Christmas cookies for dessert. “I can’t believe it’s already Christmas Eve,” he said with a sigh, sitting down on one of the bar stools. “Seems like Halloween was just yesterday.”

“Yeah, well, time flies when you’re in a coma,” replied Lauren, flashing him a crooked smile. “Not for me, though - these last few weeks have been the longest of my life. It was worth it, though, to have you home for Christmas.” She set down the dishrag she had been using to wipe off the countertops and reached for his hand across the kitchen island.

Nick smiled back as he took her hand, but inside, he felt like crying. He had missed so much… and Odin would only be this little for so long. He couldn’t afford to miss another moment. Clearing the lump in his throat, he said, “So… Odin’s asleep. Do you think Santa will come soon?”

“Hm… you know, I think I hear some reindeer hooves on the roof right now,” replied Lauren, her eyes twinkling. “You up for helping him deliver the presents?”

Nick was tired and sore, but not too tired or too sore to play Santa for his son. “Sure I am,” he said. “After everything you’ve done already, it’s the least I can do.”

He remembered the moment of panic he’d had in the hospital upon realizing it was already December and he’d done nothing to get ready for the holidays. “What are we going to do about Santa?” he had asked Lauren, imagining how disappointed their son would be if he woke to find no new toys under the tree. Odin was finally old enough to understand and look forward to Santa Claus coming; they couldn’t let him down. “We haven’t had any time to shop.”

“Uh, speak for yourself,” Lauren had laughed. “What do you think I was doing while I sat around the ICU, waiting for you to wake up? Shopping online, duh!” Then she’d proceeded to show him everything she had already bought for Odin. “Dad’s been hiding all the packages for me as they arrive at the house.”

Now, as Lauren took Nick into her closet to show him the neatly-stacked tower of shipping boxes hidden behind one of the clothes bars, he turned to her and beamed. “Have I told you lately what an amazing wife and mother you are?”

Lauren smiled back. “Maybe, but I never mind hearing it again.”

“Well, then lemme tell you… you’re amazing,” he said, leaning in to kiss her lips. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too,” she replied, wrapping her arms around his waist.

He carried the lightest boxes back out to the living room, reluctantly leaving the heavy ones for her to handle. Then they went to work, Nick cutting each package open from the comfort of the couch while Lauren crawled around on the floor, arranging Odin’s gifts underneath the tree. By the time they finished, they were both worn out, but finally, it felt like Christmas. Exhausted, Lauren collapsed onto the couch next to Nick, and they polished off the plate of cookies Odin had left out for Santa Claus.

Long after the last cookie had been eaten, Nick was lying with his head in Lauren’s lap, looking at the tree, when he heard her say quietly, “Santa was supposed to bring toys for two kids tonight.”

As he pictured the mountain of presents beneath the tree piled even higher with boxes full of brand new baby toys, Nick felt a pain in his chest that had nothing to do with his surgery, a pain Tylenol could not take away. “I know.”

Had Arya been born alive, the past three months of his life would have been much different. He would have been welcomed home from the tour by his wife with open arms; he would never have gone to Key West. He would have spent Halloween at home with his kids; he would never have been in that bar by himself. He would have gone to bed with Lauren that night; he would never have met Dani. But there was no point in dwelling on what could have been. Clearly, it wasn’t meant to be.

As Nick continued to gaze at the Christmas tree, wondering what he could say to comfort Lauren, a particular ornament caught his eye. It was painted with a nativity scene, but the depiction of baby Jesus lying in the manger reminded him more of little Arya curled up in her clamshell cradle.

Taking a deep breath, he tipped his head back to look up at Lauren and said, “Baby, I want to tell you about something.”

“What?” she asked, as she softly stroked his hair.

He swallowed hard. “When I was unconscious, I had a… well, I dunno if it was a dream, exactly, or some kind of near-death experience… but I saw her. I saw Arya.”

He heard Lauren draw in a sharp breath. “You did?” she said, her voice sounding strangely high-pitched.

“Yeah.” He struggled to find the words to explain what he had experienced. “I was… drowning in the depths of the ocean. The water was dark and cold, and I couldn’t breathe. It hurt so bad, but I could hear her crying from somewhere below me, calling out for me to come and find her… so I kept sinking further and further down.”

He closed his eyes as he continued, “Then I saw this light through the darkness. I followed it, and it led me to this castle at the bottom of the ocean... kinda like Ariel’s palace in The Little Mermaid, you know?” The more he talked, the clearer his memory became. In his mind’s eye, he could still see that gleaming, golden castle, rising out of the seabed like some kind of mirage.

“I went inside, and that was when I saw her. She was lying inside of a seashell, like this perfect little pearl. Her skin was pink and… Lauren, she was alive,” he breathed, as tears sprung to his eyes. “And she was so beautiful. I picked her up and held her for the longest time. I was so happy just looking at her and singing to her, I could have stayed like that forever. I never wanted to leave that place. But then I heard your voice, begging me to come back home.”

At that point, he felt something wet hit his face, and he opened his eyes to look up at Lauren again. Tears were trickling down her cheeks and dripping off her chin. “That part wasn’t a dream, Nick,” she said, her voice trembling. “I did beg you to come back. I talked to you all the time while you were in your coma.”

He nodded. “I know. I mean, I could hear you some of the time. It was kinda like a radio frequency that’s almost out of range - your voice would cut in and out. Sometimes it was clear, and other times it sounded faint and far away. But I knew you were nearby. I thought about you and Odin… and how I didn’t want to leave you two behind. But I also didn’t want Arya to be all by herself down there.”

His wife sniffled and wiped her eyes.

“That was when I saw my dad,” Nick went on, his heart squeezing painfully as he thought of his father.

Lauren froze, her fists hovering near her face. “You saw your dad?” she asked incredulously.

He nodded again. “And Leslie.” Lauren’s eyes widened further. “They were both at the castle, too. They came in and told me they would take care of Arya while I was gone. They’re the ones who convinced me to go back.”

“Oh Nick,” she whispered, as fresh tears filled her eyes. “What a gift they gave you.”

He shrugged, feeling sheepish. “I know it was probably just some crazy coma dream, but it’s nice to think our daughter’s not alone… that she’s with them somewhere, and we’ll be able to see her again one day.”

“I don’t think it was a dream at all,” said Lauren, shaking her head. “I think you did have an out-of-body experience.”

Nick was not entirely convinced. “I dunno... I wasn’t, like, hovering over my hospital bed, watching them work on me,” he replied, recalling the nightmare he’d had in the hotel room. “I didn’t ‘go into the light’ or anything like that. One minute I was in the water, and the next, I was waking up in the recovery room. I don’t remember much else from in between.”

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t really happen, even if it was all in your head,” Lauren insisted, as she ran her hands through his hair. “Either way, thank you for telling me that. It helps.”

He was glad to hear that. “It may be too soon to ask this, but... do you think you’ll ever wanna try for another baby?” he asked, looking back at her.

Lauren raised her eyebrows. “It’s definitely too soon. Remember what the doctor said: no sex for at least six weeks.”

“I know. I didn’t mean right now,” replied Nick, smirking. “I’m too tired tonight anyway. But maybe we can try for that rainbow baby again someday… when we’re both ready. What do you think?”

The twinkling white lights were reflected in Lauren’s luminous eyes as she stared at the tree, a faraway look on her face. She didn’t answer at first, but when she finally spoke, she whispered the words he had been hoping to hear. “I think we should. Another baby… that would be the best gift you could ever give me.”

For the first time since they had lost Arya, Nick went to bed feeling hopeful, his heart full of possibility. For the first time since the end of the tour, he lay down next to Lauren in the bed they had picked out together. For the first time since his surgery, he was finally able to find a comfortable position. Although he was looking forward to morning, he closed his eyes and fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

As midnight came and Christmas Day dawned, Nick slept peacefully. If he had any more bad dreams, they were forgotten by morning.

***