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Nick woke up to the feel of Kevin pressing against him, he in the little spoon position, even though they were relatively the same height. The feeling was like nothing he'd ever experienced, he could get used to this, and he almost had. This was the fourth morning this week alone he'd woken up in much this way. After the first night he'd gone to Kevin's room for company, not wanting to be alone after hearing Lauren received the divorce papers, he'd kept going back. Every night he would knock softly at the door until Kevin would answer with a soft come in. He'd climb in beside the other man and they would watch something on TV. Sometimes they would talk about random stuff in their minds, other times they would just laugh and enjoy whatever show Kevin had chosen. But every night, without fail, Nick would fall asleep in Kevin's bed and wake up tangled around him in the morning. A couple of nights he'd fallen asleep without even touching the older man at all, his body reaching out for Kevin in his sleep. Another night they fell asleep holding hands. Nick wasn't sure what was happening, or how Kevin felt about it. All he knew was he intended to keep knocking on the door at night until Kevin told him to stop.

He always slept so much better after laying down with Kevin. Sleep washing over him like a tidal wave. He couldn't remember ever sleeping so well, or so deeply. Being this close to Kevin just calmed him in a way that he'd never experienced before. No one else had ever had this effect on him. He never wanted it to stop.

After waking up in Kevin's arms, he usually had to quickly leave to check on the kids or get up Saoirse. He wished there could be a morning where he could just wake up and lay there for hours, memorizing the gentle rise and fall of the other man's chest, feel his tickling breath against his neck. The rest of the day would move in with Nick feeling a sense of peace that had been missing for so long. Knowing at the end of the night he would crawl back in bed with Kevin was exhilarating. He only hoped it never ended.

He was worried though. Mason and Maxwell would be coming home tonight and he wasn't sure how Kevin would feel about him sleeping in his bed when his kids were in the house. Although it was all completely innocent, nothing tawdry had happened, no matter how much Nick wished it would. He had dreams about how it would feel to have Kevin wrap his arm around him, begin kissing his neck and run his hands all over him. At this point, Nick would pay any sum of money for the older man to touch him, no questions asked.

He could see Saoirse up and about her room on the baby monitor. As much as he didn't want to leave this wonderful cocoon, especially when he didn't know how long he would be able to stay in it, he knew his fatherly duties came first and he needed to get her changed and fed. Sighing in resignation, he carefully extracted himself from Kevin's arms, using extra caution not to wake the other man up. He grabbed his phone and the monitor and quickly turned to give one last look to the other man. His ponytail had fallen out sometime in his sleep and the jet black hair was splayed over the pillow and his beautiful face. Nick's fingers itched to touch him, brush the hair back and kiss his cheek. He heard Saoirse shriek and knew he had to leave. Regretfully he made his way to the door and closed it gently behind him.

-

The boys arrived back home a little after 4. Kevin had promised them they would put up the Christmas tree the first day they were back home. He had spent most of the afternoon bringing up boxes from the basement while Nick kept Odin and Saoirse occupied. The day had slipped away from both of them, eat caught up in their own activities, so Nick suggested that they order in for dinner. Placing a Doordash order was easy and soon Nick was helping everyone get cleaned up for dinner. Once the food arrived everyone was excitedly taking around the table about what they wanted to do that weekend, how they wanted to decorate the tree and anything else they could think of. Nick took this time to reflect. Watching Kevin with his sons, and watching Odin get caught up in the conversation with them as well. It was heartwarming to seem them all together, doing something as mundane as eating dinner. It was one of the most exciting things that had happened to Nick in a while. He had to be pretty boring to be so enthralled with a family dinner, but he'd never had anything like this growing up and he and Lauren hadn't really tried to do it either. It never really had seemed that important, but now, sitting around Kevin's kitchen table, it seemed like the most important thing in the world.

The kids ate quickly, too excited to start hanging Christmas lights to take their time. Nick had to laugh at how quickly they were done and bouncing in their seats to get started. Kevin got up and started clearing the table. Nick jumped to his feet and stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Let me." Nick said quietly. "They've waited long enough. I'll clean up the kitchen, you take your boys and get started."

Kevin looked at him for a moment and then gave him a wicked smile. "Thank you." he said quietly, staring long enough to make Nick's heart do flip flops. Kevin stood up and ushered the boys toward the doorway. He stopped and glanced back at the table. "Come on Odin, we're going to need your help!"

Odin's face lit up with excitement and glanced at Nick for reassurance. "Are you sure Kevin? I don't want him to get in the way of time with your kids. They just got home and this is your tradition." Nick said nervously.

Kevin waved him off. "We're creating new traditions together this year." he said softly, his eyes boring into Nick's. Holding out his arm for Odin, the boy scampered off of the kitchen chair and hurried to Kevin's side. They left the room arm in arm talking a mile a minute about the kinds of decorations they would use. Nick glanced at Saoirse who was perfectly content playing in her high chair and munching on her breadstick from dinner. Nick didn't even know what to say to Kevin's statement. The words had touched him, maybe more than they should have. But sometimes it was nice to pretend that there was a chance that Kevin could possibly want more from him than friendship.

Nick went to work throwing away wrappers and other trash from their dinner. He got a dish rag and wiped down the table and chairs and then the counters, just as he'd seen Kevin do. He wanted to leave the kitchen in the same condition they'd found it. If he was being truthful, he also needed to give himself some space from the other man. It was becoming harder and harder to keep the way he felt locked inside. He knew he had to, for everyone's sake. He couldn't take the risk of ruining their friendship, disgusting the older man with his advances and ruining any chance of getting them all back on their feet. He would just have to work harder to keep his feelings in check, that started with making sure there was a bit of distance between them. So instead of running into the other room where Kevin was, he was going to stay in the kitchen with Saoirse until he ran out of plausible excuses to stay away.

Once the kitchen was clean and the leftovers put away, Nick was running out of things to do. He picked up Saoirse from the high chair and decided a bath was in order. He quickly took her upstairs and into the bathroom. They played in the water, sang songs and finally back in her bedroom, got diapered and put into jammies. She was getting sleepy, he could tell by the way her eyes wouldn't quite focus in on him. He smiled at her lazily. She was perfect. He carried her to the rocker into the corner and settled down with her in his arms. He hadn't had time alone with her like this in a long time. Most bedtimes consisted of trying to get both kids down at the same time and more often than not they would simply read stories until one or both of them drifted off. But alone with Saoirse, he leaned back in the rocker, holding her tightly in his arms. He began humming to her as he rocked. Before he realized what tune was stuck in his head, he'd started singing the song he'd had on repeat for most of the week when he was alone.

'Cause if I didn't tell ya
I still think that you'd know
'Cause you make me so nervous
Every time that we're alone
And if I didn't have ya
I'd still want you to know
Baby, you're the one that my heart thinks about the most

He rocked and sang quietly, rubbing her little back as he went. Before long she was sound asleep. He held her a little longer, not ready yet to give up the feeling of her little body curled against him. She was growing so damn fast. He just wanted to keep her little as long as he could. Once he was sure she was good and asleep, he stood and softly placed her into her bed.

Now he was officially out of things to do to keep him out of the living room. Resigned to his fate, he closed her bedroom door and headed down the stairs.

"I was thinking we might need a search party to come find you." Kevin said looking up from where the kids were wrapping him up in garland. "I could use some reinforcements."

Nick laughed as he watched the boys wrap him tighter and tighter. The room looked like an explosion of Christmas. There were lights, garlands and ornaments covering every surface. It truly was a Christmas wonderland. In the time it took Nick to clean up the kitchen and the baby, they kids had managed to open every tote and box and somehow only have the bare tree upright. Again Nick was struck by how perfect the moment was. He picked up a string of lights and began to gently untangle them from each other, plunging them in to make sure they all lit up.

Everyone had a job. Maxwell worked the bottom of the tree while Kevin handled the top. Odin and Maxon went around gathering things that the tree handlers needed and before long they had found a rhythm that worked. The tree was shaped quickly, Kevin and Nick taking sections to get it fluffed out. The lights came next, brilliant colors of blue, red and yellow. Odin’s favorite part was draping the garland and beads from one branch to the other. Once the essentials were on the tree, Kevin and Nick sat back on the couch and let the boys go to town hanging ornaments all over it. It was comfortable, simple how easily they could intertwine their lives.

“What’s this dad?” Mason said, bringing over a branch for Kevin to inspect.

Kevin laughed and took it from him. “This is mistletoe.” Kevin said, smiling. “When two people stand under mistletoe, they’re supposed to kiss. See?” He said holding it high above Mason’s head before kissing him on the nose. Mason giggled and grabbed it from him. He proceeded to hold it above Maxwell and Odin’s heads before kissing them both on top of the head.


Nick and Kevin both laughed as the boys fought over who was going to hold and who was going to kiss. Before long they had lost interest and moved on the mechanical santa who climbed up and down the tree. Kevin rescued the mistletoe from the floor and was going to lay it on the coffee table before he stopped himself. Making up his mind quickly, he held it above Nick’s head and promptly kissed his cheek. Shocked, Nick yelped out, causing the boys to turn and look at what had caused the noise. Nick started laughing, attempting to hide his embarrassment and jumped from the couch. He spent the next several minutes helping the boys hang ornaments up higher on the tree and trying to calm his breathing.

About an hour later the tree was complete and everyone was exhausted. Odin was up way past his bedtime and was fading fast. He’d been trying to fight to stay awake for the past hour and was ready to give up. Nick and Odin waved goodnight to the group in the living room and headed up the stairs to the second floor. Odin quickly changed into jammies and was nothing but yawns as he climbed in bed.


“Did you have fun buddy?” Nick asked, pushing the hair back out of his eyes before kissing his forehead. Odin nodded. “It’s always fun witb Kebin.” Odin yawned again and closed his eyes. “Yeah, it really is.” Nick said softly. He continued to sit on the edge of Odin’s bed for a few minutes longer. He was already asleep. Nick swore everyone slept better in this house than they ever did in their home in Las Vegas. The kids never had gone down this easy or stayed asleep all night without issues. It was either the Kentucky air, or the raven haired man who had invaded their lives. Nick was pretty sure he knew which one it was.

He got up, flipping off the light as he went. Once in the hallway he pulled the door to quietly, trying not to wake either kid. He turned to go to his bedroom when he caught sight of Kevin coming down the stairs to the third floor. Kevin reached the landing and turned to look at him. “Odin asleep?” He asked quietly. Nick nodded. “What about the boys?” Kevin shook his head. “Went out like lights.” he chuckled.

“You coming to bed?” the older man asked, beckoning down the hall with the tilt of his head.

Nick’s heart stopped. This was what he’d been waiting for, agonizing over all night. Did Kevin really want him to sleep in the same room, same bed as him? Even with his kids here? “You sure?” Nick managed to croak out.

Kevin nodded and held out his hand. Nick hesitated for just a moment before taking it and following Kevin down the hallway to his bedroom.