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“Gone?” Kevin questioned. “What do you mean gone?” his heart started hammering in his chest and he wanted to shake the younger man until the words came tumbling out of him.

Nick took a deep breath and choked on his tears. “She’s dead.” he managed to get out before he broke down completely, hands gripping fistfuls of Kevin’s shirt as he cried hard against the other man.

Kevin felt a shock go through him and he wasn’t sure what to think or even if he’d heard Nick correctly. He tried to remain level headed, but he needed to know what happened. He needed to make sure the kids were alright. Nick couldn’t stop crying long enough to get a word out and Kevin was growing restless. He pulled Nick closer to him and reached down in the console for the phone. He hit redial and waited impatiently for Heather to pick up on the other end.

“Hello,” she answered, her voice frazzled.

“Yeah, Hi. This is Kevin, Nick’s finance. He is a wreck and I am trying to figure out what exactly has happened and what we need to do next.” he answered, swallowing down the lump in his throat.

She sighed on the other end of the phone. “I knew I should have waited until I got back to the station, but I knew he would want to know right away.” she said softly. “The officer who accompanied me did a wellness check when Lauren didn’t answer the door. He found her in the bathtub. There were drugs all over the bathroom and at the moment we can only suspect it was an overdose.”

Kevin felt sick. “What about the kids?” he asked, trying desperately to keep the bile down that was rising in his throat.

“The kids were still in their bedroom. They are dirty and hungry, but seem to be relatively unscathed. I have them with me and I am taking them to the emergency room for an examination. I need you to meet me there so that Nick can consent to treatment. We can talk about everything else once we’re face to face. The most important thing right now is that the kids are okay.”

Kevin agreed and said goodbye. Breathing a hesitant sigh of relief, he settled back in the seat with Nick still curled up in his chest. Kevin closed his own eyes and leaned his head back, breathing in the scent of his lover. He tried to steady his own breathing while holding the shaking man against him. This was the bad omen that had been following Kevin around for days. This is why he had felt such a strong urge to be in Vegas. If he hadn’t come early, Nick would have had to deal with all of this alone and wait even longer for assistance as Kevin made arrangements and tried to get to him. Kevin sent up a prayer of thanks to whoever would listen for giving him the inclination that he needed to be with Nick early. He tried to focus on Nick and not his own feelings, but couldn’t help the small cheer of relief that the nightmare was almost over and maybe, just maybe when it came time to return to Kentucky, he could take all of them with him.

“Switch me seats baby. We need to meet Heather at the emergency room and you’re in no condition to drive.” Kevin said as he pushed Nick back slightly.

Nick gazed up at him, his eyes bloodshot and tear tracks covering his cheeks. “I didn’t want it to end like this.” he whispered softly.

“Oh baby,” Kevin said as he leaned his forehead down to rest on Nick’s. Both men needing the closeness of the other. “I know you didn’t. No one did.”

“I can’t help but feel happy that it’s over though. I know that sounds horrible, that I sound like a horrible person.” Nick mumbled between them, fresh tears falling from his eyes.

“Shhh.” Kevin soothed. “I know what you mean and you’re not horrible baby. I understand. Let’s just get through the next few hours and then we can focus on what comes next okay?”

Nick nodded and pulled away. Kevin brushed his lips across Nick’s in a comforting kiss before opening the car door and coming around to the driver’s side. Nick opened the door and stumbled out into the parking lot. Kevin took him by the arm and helped him make his way to the passenger seat. Once Nick was securely inside, Kevin shut the door and made his way to the drivers side. In minutes they were on their way to the ER, minds spinning a million miles a minute.

--

They arrived at the hospital in record time. Kevin offered to drop Nick off at the door, but the younger man refused, wanting Kevin with him every step of the way. They had to search for several minutes before they were able to secure a spot in the back of the parking lot. Kevin cursed the fact that they didn’t have any kind of disguise with them at all, he didn’t want their business splashed across the 6pm news if he could keep from it. He quickly got out of the SUV and came around to Nick’s side to help him out. Hand in hand they quickly made their way across the parking lot and into the small emergency room entrance.

Kevin spotted Heather right away, standing off to the side trying to talk to the admitting nurse as well as holding a screaming Saoirse. Odin stood beside her, hands over his ears while he yelled back just as loud. Kevin felt Nick squeeze his hand and they surged forward, trying to get to the kids as soon as possible. Odin looked up in a hurry and once his eyes landed on them, he yelled “Kebin” and took off running. They met him in the middle of the room, Kevin dropping to his knees as the young boy flung himself into Kevin’s arms, tiny arms wrapping hard around his neck. Kevin wrapped both arms securely around him and hugged the tiny boy against him as he dissolved into tears.

Nick watched them, tears filling his own eyes. “Go to her,” Kevin managed to choke out as he rocked Odin tightly in his arms. Nick nodded and left them in the center of the room to take Saoirse. Once he had her securely in his arms the shrieking stopped as she tried to kiss the side of his face. Nick held her as tightly as he could without hurting her tiny body. He breathed in her baby scent and sighed in relief to have her safely in his arms. The tears were falling steadily and he stumbled back towards Kevin before collapsing to the floor beside the older man. Kevin released Odin just long enough to gather Nick and Saoirse with his other arm and brought the other two into a four person hug in the middle of the hospital waiting room. Relief was coursing through Kevin’s body and he couldn’t even be bothered by the optics of the four of them sobbing together on the floor of the ER. He held his little family as tight as he possibly could, so thankful everyone was safe, but most of all, together at last.

They stayed like that for several minutes before Heather approached them, laying a hand gently on Kevin’s shoulder he looked up to meet her eyes. “Let’s get you all into a private room so you can be together while Nick fills out the paperwork and we wait for the doctor.”

Kevin nodded and pulled away. Nick stood on shaky legs and picked Saoirse up in his arms. Kevin too stood, a little slower then the rest and once he was back on his feet he lifted Odin high in the air until the little boy was wrapped back around him again. Together the foursome followed Heather down a long hallway into their own private room. Kevin sat Odin down on the examination bed so he could do his own inspection of the boy. Nick placed Saoirse down beside him and Kevin looked them both over while Nick took the clipboard and began signing the papers presented to him. Heather watched them closely, nodding her head as Kevin looked over arms, legs and bellies and backs before giving both kids as many hugs and kisses as they could handle. Nick finished the paperwork and handed back the clipboard. “How much longer until we can take them home?” he asked.

“Well once the Dr. signs off on them here, you can take them back to your apartment. The police are processing the scene at the house now and once they file their official report I will be able to file mine. Once both reports are turned over to the judge he will issue custody to you, as you are their only living parent. Once you have that, you are free to leave the state and take them back home to Kentucky.” Heather said as she glanced over the papers to make sure everything was in order.

“I didn’t want it to come to this.” Nick said softly. “That’s why I wanted her to be tested. That’s why I asked that she be forced into treatment. I just wanted her to get better, for herself and ultimately, for them. I never expected…” Nick’s voice broke as the tears returned. He tried to get them under control quickly, not wanting the kids to see him so upset.

Heather reached out and placed a hand on his arm. “You’re a good man Nick and an even better father. I know how much you wanted this to work out and I commend you for being as passionate about her care as well as the care of the children. It’s unfortunate, but the system is broken and a lot of the time it fails in catastrophic ways, just like this. There’s no use in beating yourself up about it. You did everything you could to help her and to help the children. Addiction is messy and heartbreaking and her decisions to do what she did is what ultimately hurt her the most. The only thing you can do now is be the best father you can be to the kids. Perhaps see about getting Odin in to see a play therapist to make sure he can come to terms with what’s happened in a healthy way. Remind the children about the good qualities their mother had and don’t dwell on the bad. It’s going to be hard, and it’s going to take time to heal, for all of you. But it looks like you’ve got a pretty good man and a solid support system behind you.”

Nick turned and looked back at the examination table. Both kids were sitting quietly, both had their arms wrapped around Kevin’s neck as he held each of them, one in each arm. Nick smiled and nodded. “He’s the best.”

She smiled too and gave his arm another squeeze. “Can I do anything else for you?” she asked gently.

Nick thought for a moment and nodded. Turning so his back was to Kevin and he wouldn’t be overheard he leaned in closer. “When we’re filing all of this paperwork with the state, what can I do about having Kevin listed as their other guardian? Like an adoption?”

She gave him a shy smile. “Let me see what I can do.”

He nodded and pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for us.”

She hugged him tight and then pulled away. “I should have my report done by the end of business tomorrow. I will work over the weekend to get all the necessary forms together for both of you to sign.” she said, casting an eye towards Kevin. “We should be able to get everything filed with the judge’s office on Monday and fingers crossed, you will at least have permission to take them to their real home by the end of next week.”

Nick gave her another smile. “I really appreciate it.”

With a nod she gathered her things and headed to the door. “I’ll let the doctor know you’re ready to see him.”
Nick watched her go before joining the kids and Kevin. “Everything okay?” the older man asked as Nick pulled himself up on the table and took Odin into his arms. The small boy curled around his father and laid his head against Nick’s shoulder.

Nick nodded. “Yeah, we’ll have some paperwork to sign over the weekend, but she thinks we might be able to take the kids home at the end of next week. Do you think Kristin would let you push your days back a few days again so we can all drive home together? I feel bad about asking and messing up your schedule again with Mason and Maxwell, but I don’t think I can get them back myself. “

Kevin shook his head immediately. “Of course. I’ll do whatever we need to do to be home, all of us together.” he reached over and took one of Nick’s hands in his own. “I’m so proud of you baby, for holding it all together. You are amazing.”

Nick ducked his head and looked away. “I’m hanging on by a thread. I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and cry for the next week straight. But they need me.”

Kevin squeezed his hand. “They do, but you also have me. If you need some time to yourself to come to terms with what’s happened, just let me know. I can keep them and give you time to process everything, some time to grieve. “

Nick bit his lip again and nodded. “Thanks baby.”

“I just don’t want you to think you’re alone, or you’re in this alone. It’s you and me, always.” he brought Nick’s hand up to his mouth and kissed each of his knuckles and then the back of his hand before lowering it to Nick’s lap. Nick squeezed back and gave him a sad smile. Any additional conversation was interrupted by the knock at the door and both turned to watch the doctor enter the room.